can a girl be bad in bed?

LegacyUser

hi, appreciate any advice...

ok a bit of history first..lost my virginity at 18, sober with then boyfriend, it wasn't an issue for me, didn't make me anxious or anything so that was fine relationship with him for nearly three years normal sex life no problems...i broke up with him two years ago kissing few people since but nothing more and last autumn I decided I needed to get myself back in the game, I had a one night stand and oh my was it terrible the guy couldn't get going he was very drunk (as was i) but attractive and im assuming he thought i was too so i dont know really...

Anyway that is the height of my sexual experience...and now its left me wondering can a girl be bad in bed???

I mean I am afraid to go there in case I am! Is this normal?

I am currently meeting up with a guy regularly at weekends and eventually it is going to get to the stage where we go home together..I am really anxious about this..It is not the whole having sex part that is making me anxious because that has never really been an issue with me..it is more along the lines of being anxious that I might not be doing something right or something...

Is this really juvenille!?! I don't know..it is getting to me!

seamus

concernedgirl wrote: »

the guy couldn't get going he was very drunk (as was i) but attractive and im assuming he thought i was too so i dont know really...

It's known as brewer's droop and it happens to every man who's ever had a fumble when completely wasted. It also happens to women, it's just not quite so visible.

Don't take it personally. A man can get so drunk that not even he can get himself going. If a man can't get erect and you have a choice between, "is it me" or "is it the drink" - it's the drink, every time.

In most cases a sober man won't even need any "encouragement" to get going, the prospect of sex is usually enough.

To answer your specific question of "can a woman be bad in bed", well of course they can. But it was the drink on your previous occasion.

On your next encounter, limit the drinking to one or two glasses (though completely sobriety is the best) and you'll instantly have your confidence back

Ickle Magoo

Unless someone is very lazy or inconsiderate or ignore requests of what to do or what not to do then it's very difficult to term them "bad" in bed. I would think the majority of people who are reasonably eager to have fun and satisfy themselves and their partner while not being shy to say what they like or don't like are going to be reasonably good.

Just make sure you keep communicating and you let each other know what does it for each other and what doesn't and you'll be good for each other - which is all that matters.

All the best.

SarahG91

OP, if you're anxious about having sex, you are more likely to be perceived as "bad" (in the sense of timid, unadventurous, hesitant, unresponsive, or that hated word frigid) in bed. So you should be comfortable about actually wanting sex before you actually do it! It shouldn't be a question of "Well, we've been on X dates, so time to go to bed." If you're not ready, it won't feel right and neither of you will enjoy it.

As for being "good" in bed... as Ickle Magoo said, it's all about being open to having fun and making sure that you both have a good time. Probably the worst kind of sex from a man's perspective is with a woman who just lies there in the missionary position waiting for it to be over. Try a variety of activities and positions, make sure you find out what he likes, and communicate what turns you on. Give him feedback and encouragement when something feels good. Don't be embarrassed if you feel like moaning or crying out—men actually love it when women do this. If you put a bit of effort and enthusiasm in, you're almost guaranteed to be seen as good.

I think you may be feeling self-conscious because of your previous bad ONS experience. But this is common—many men can't have sex while drunk, and it has nothing to do with your attractiveness. Same thing has happened to me. In fact you could put Megan Fox in a drunk man's bed and she'd get the same reaction.

AnonoBoy

Well yes a girl can be but you've got no reason to believe that you are because a drunk guy wasn't able to perform.

ted1

a girl can be very bad in bed. She may just lie back and think of here country. If there's only 1 person sweating there is something wrong..

having said that what you described is brewers drop. the guy was suffering performance issues.

LegacyUser

Hi thanks a mill for replies,

I am comfortable with sex and I do want it, its not an issue of not wanting it..I wanted to go there the first nyt I met this guy but I held back because i didnt want to sleep with him the first nyt not for any other reason it just now its becoming more and more likely and I have got to think about it I think it is just that the one night stand made me question everything! But as poster said above I shouldnt let one bad experience put me off! Im just over analysing it a bit and i should stop, I never had any problem before!!

eff it!

Thanks!

GoldRush4821

The funny thing is the guy will be too concerned with his own performance to even notice how you were, at least for the first few times anyway. Guy's egos FTW

wylo

I think i can confidently say the guy is probably a bit sickened that he was so drunk he couldn't get it up. Hes probably embarrassed too because he probably thought you thought he was bad in bed.

LegacyUser

It takes two to tango. One partner can't compensate for the other. You've to work with each other. Try again without so much drink. Try wine & dine as opposed to dance & ride.

As said above the chap is probably absolutely mortified at what happened and it'll be a big hit for him not being able to perform for you. It'll hit even harder if it's never happened before to him.

If you like him, contact him, tell him you like him and find him attractive and you think you two should give it another go if he feels the same.

All the best.

davmol

SarahG91 wrote: »

In fact you could put Megan Fox in a drunk man's bed and she'd get the same reaction.

I completely disagree.

OP,yes men and women can be bad in bed.If u cant rise to the occasion as a man or if its over very early a woman isnt going to have a great time really is she!!.
Likewise,if a woman just lies there with no emotion and looks as if shes going thru the motions its not going to be a 'good ride(excuse the phrase)' for teh bloke either.
Men and women look for indications that the other person is enjoying themselves,if they care.
But for a woman its alot harder to be bad in bed than for a man

AJG

davmol wrote: »

But for a woman its alot harder to be bad in bed than for a man

Bullsh*t! The amount of times I've had girls just lie there, no imagination, no attempt to be proactive, nothing. Sorry to go off topic. Maybe it's just who I'm attracting.

As for the OP just follow your gut be adventurous and enthusiastic and you'll be alright.

pickarooney

the only 'bad' is lack of enthusiasm, really.

28064212

pickarooney wrote: »

the only 'bad' is lack of enthusiasm, really.

I'd add lack of communication to that.

If both partners are enthusiastic and communicate well, good sex is virtually a certainty.

LegacyUser

pickarooney wrote: »

the only 'bad' is lack of enthusiasm, really.

This is spot on. The only way you'll cause a man to consider sex to be bad is if you just lie there and "take it", are quiet/unresponsive or are generally seen to not really be into it.

Give it socks and you'll be fine.

LegacyUser

To answer the question can a girl be bad in bed?


Yes, absolutely! I'm male, and a image portrayed all the time regarding men is the idea of them being good or bad in bed. There is a big pressure there on guys, and some women often talk very openly about men and how good/bad they may be. It's on TV shows, in films, everywhere. It's an accepted thing - sexual performance is (apparently) a clear measure of manhood and masculinity.

For women though, it's not the case but from my own experience some girls can be very "bad" in that department and it always comes back to one thing - it's the feeling that you have to, as the male, drive everything. Everyone's different but I personally like when girls take the initiative in that department, show as much passion and lust as a man might be expected to, and of course, it is a real turn-in when a woman is willing to do certain things.

That's just me. But as a general rule, I would say the more passive a woman is in bed, the worse. If you are sexually attracted to the guy - show it to him in bed!