You already know your Perfect Partner

ANDM

I remember reading or seeing an article on how by the time you reach a certain age your perfect partner/soulmate is already a name that you have in your phone and you just dont realise it yet....but for the life of me I cant remember where (possibly Cosmo or on This Morning or something like that).
The thing is I have brought it up as an office conversation topic and now its turned into a full blown debate.

If anyone else has heard of this theory or article could they let me know a link or publication/show to back it up with the others in here.

Thanks

Asphyxia

I heard of this theory but I never really believed until I got together with my boyfriend. I knew him since I was 11 and we started going out years later after I hadn't seen him in a couple of years.

The same thing has happened with my sister and her partner.

Emme

If this is the case I wish he'd hurry up and make himself known! Goodness knows I'm putting myself out there long enough without any success. :mad:

Ickle Magoo

Is it the one referred to here?

Larianne

Well I drowned my phone and melted my sim last week so I'm screwed!

IrishGrimReaper

Larianne wrote: »

Well I drowned my phone and melted my sim last week so I'm screwed!

And here I am feeling terrible about having the same sim for about 6 years ¬.¬

mikom

" Do you 171 take Mikom to be your lawfully wedded husband........"

Scarinae

My parents had known each other for years before they got together, they were in the same course in university but before that my Dad had gone out with a girl from my Mum's class in school. My Mum moved over to London a couple of years later, and wanted to go to a Pink Floyd concert, but her friend hated Pink Floyd and refused to go. My Mum didn't want to go by herself, so her friend was like "Do you remember [my Dad]? He's in London too, and he loves concerts, you should see if he'd go with you" She did, and they met up for a drink - they weren't able to get concert tickets after all that - and they ended up married!

Of course, this was in the days before mobile phones :P

pollypocket10

I've been with my OH since the day we met. There might be something to it because although we hadn't met we actually had some mutual friends and I suppose it was just a matter of time. Coincidently, we had missed each other loads of times by not attending this event or that night out.

I sometimes wonder if we'd met at some other time would we have had the same spark or was it faith that we just met at the right time

pollypocket10

pollypocket10 wrote: »

I've been with my OH since the day we met. There might be something to it because although we hadn't met we actually had some mutual friends and I suppose it was just a matter of time. Coincidently, we had missed each other loads of times by not attending this event or that night out.

I sometimes wonder if we'd met at some other time would we have had the same spark or was it faith that we just met at the right time

I don't think it was faith or fate :pac:

pollypocket10

bluewolf wrote: »

I don't think it was faith or fate :pac:

Eh pregnancy brain... tis lucky I can remember how to spell my name at this stage :P

Larianne

IrishGrimReaper wrote: »

And here I am feeling terrible about having the same sim for about 6 years ¬.¬

First time it's ever happened to me. I'm still upset!

On topic, yeah maybe it is a common thing. I'm in a sports club and older members who've got together and married, I've been told they were always slow burners. So met in the club, been friends for years and then hooked up later.

Otis Driftwood

I know my perfect partner.Known her for around 3 years.We dated for a short time but geography and an ex conspired against me.She is seeing someone now though so its a no fly zone.Some day though,some day.

ToniTuddle

So what you are saying is I'm going to marry someone who is already in my phone contacts.....

*looks at the Boardsies numbers in her phone*
:eek: :pac:


It's odd though. My best mate has been going out with her lad long time now and we had always known of him as he is local too and she even met him few times before on nights out. Then one night BOOM head over heels love and haven't been seperated since. Already have plans in motion for a life together forever.........

Very difficult to get my head around it though. The thought that I could just fall in love with one of the local lads......really?? Can't imagine it :pac:

I reckon that theory is just based on lots of folk getting desperate as they get older. One of the lads was mad to have a girlfriend, he'd be pr1cking about trying to land women (friends of friends) that had no interest at all in him. Then one night he hooks up with a girl we all know for years, strangely enough he never showed any interest in her before, they're madly in love now though, well he is anyway. It's not just a woman thing, lots and lots of fellas get very panicky as the mid 30s approach.

Poor Craythur

Deleted.

Put the post in a more appropriate thread.

pow wow

From scanning through my phone book....I really hope that's not the case!

professore

ToniTuddle wrote: »

Very difficult to get my head around it though. The thought that I could just fall in love with one of the local lads......really?? Can't imagine it :pac:

Non-local lads are local somewhere ....

stovelid

It's commonly referred to as making do.

Feeona

stovelid wrote: »

It's commonly referred to as making do.

That expression :rolleyes:. I think it's a very broad and petulant dismissal of peoples' relationships, and it's a phrase levelled by those who explain away their singledom by implying other people are not being true to themselves. I'm going out with a guy I knew years ago. I'm not making do, I value my life better than to spend the rest of my life with someone I despise all for the sake of having a spouse.

In your face, naysayers :pac:

jellybeans

ah listen generalizations like that are silly, some people marry people they know for years and some people meet new people. Its ridiculous.

Sunnyisland

I got married when i was a young 21, Even though i thought i was in love, it ended in divorce.

Lived in Europe for 12 years were i met a lovely girl and in a whirlwind romance got married and then...............divorced.

When i came back to Ireland in 2006 i met a girl through unusual circumstances,she was also a friend of my sisters,we clicked immediately and are now going out the last five years,we do everything together and it seems we are fully compatible and have loads & loads in common,To me after all them years this is my perfect partner,we learn & love together and we feel great, A lot of people (and both us feel) have commented on saying she is your soul mate, so after 30 years of searching & trying i finally found mine.:-)

MagicMarker

People generally end up with people they know... shock horror.

''Soul mate'' is a crock of shít. There are billions of potential ''soul mates''.

Wibbs

MagicMarker wrote: »

People generally end up with people they know... shock horror.

They generally end up with people of similar social class, educational level and physical(social) attractiveness too.

''Soul mate'' is a crock of shít. There are billions of potential ''soul mates''.

While I like you think the concept is BS, in reality there aren't "billions" of potential soul mates or even mates for that matter. Yes there are billions of humans on earth, but you can remove a huge chunk of them as too old or too young. You can remove more because they're out of your league or you're out of theirs. You can remove another lot because of cultural differences. You can remove the biggest chunk of of all of them as being too distant so you'll never meet them. So most people may have a limited enough pool to chose from.

MagicMarker

Wibbs wrote: »

While I like you think the concept is BS, in reality there aren't "billions" of potential soul mates or even mates for that matter. Yes there are billions of humans on earth, but you can remove a huge chunk of them as too old or too young. You can remove more because they're out of your league or you're out of theirs. You can remove another lot because of cultural differences. You can remove the biggest chunk of of all of them as being too distant so you'll never meet them. So most people may have a limited enough pool to chose from.

Way to trample all over my point!! :pac:

magneticimpulse

Emme wrote: »

If this is the case I wish he'd hurry up and make himself known! Goodness knows I'm putting myself out there long enough without any success. :mad:

totally agree...if there is a he...he is outthere somewhere and i wish he would hurry up too. he cant be very clever if he's not discovered me yet

Poor Craythur

MagicMarker wrote: »

''Soul mate'' is a crock of shít. There are billions of potential ''soul mates''.

I couldn't agree more. Well, maybe not billions but I understand your sentiment.

Wibbs wrote: »

They generally end up with people of similar social class, educational level and physical(social) attractiveness too.

Once you match on attractiveness and educational (or intellectual) level, I don't believe social class is that important, not in Ireland at least. I'd date across middle- and working-class, provided there was a mental connection and physical attraction. If social class alone was a determinant of leagues, Ted Hughes would never have gone near Sylvia Plath. I'm from a working-class background but don't consider anyone middle-class out of my league for that fact alone, and have considered myself out of the league of some middle-classers I've met who I found to be crashing bores. Upper class, yes, out of my league, but that's is because the cultural differences are just too great. I don't envy Kate Middleton entering that world.

Feeona

Feeona wrote: »

That expression :rolleyes:. I think it's a very broad and petulant dismissal of peoples' relationships, and it's a phrase levelled by those who explain away their singledom by implying other people are not being true to themselves. I'm going out with a guy I knew years ago. I'm not making do, I value my life better than to spend the rest of my life with someone I despise all for the sake of having a spouse.

In your face, naysayers :pac:

You're hardly going to say, dead right folks, I hooked up with a lad I know for years as f all better came along and the clock was ticking so loud I thought there was 20 Jehovahs at the door :pac:

Scarinae

RoverJames wrote: »

You're hardly going to say, dead right folks, I hooked up with a lad I know for years as f all better came along and the clock was ticking so loud I thought there was 20 Jehovahs at the door :pac:

Hilarious :rolleyes: Well, you haven't even met her or her boyfriend, so how would you know? I don't see why it's so hard to believe that someone would fall for someone they've known for ages - several of my boyfriends have been friends of mine before I started going out with them. Judging by your attitude, though, you're hardly going to see my point.

Wibbs

RoverJames do you see the words "After Hours" above this forum? You do not, so please keep what you think "funneh" to yourself or you'll not be posting in here again.

Tar.Aldarion

Craig david or buckingham palace, who will it be :pac:

ToniTuddle

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

Craig david or buckingham palace, who will it be :pac:

You have my number in your phone.....

I have your number in my phone.....

My GOD!! :eek:


What flowers do you want for the wedding luv? :pac:



I'd say it is very possible to fall in love with someone you have known all your life but....no idea how on earth it would get started. Guess yous would need to have been in contact alot more than usual or something for the spark to appear!

Wibbs

Poor Craythur wrote: »

Once you match on attractiveness and educational (or intellectual) level, I don't believe social class is that important, not in Ireland at least.

I would somewhat agree, in Ireland it's less so. Ireland went more like the US where wealth was more the deciding factor than "class". Though the latter is just wealth over more than one generation. I'm not sure Plath and Hughes are that good an example. For one arty types can get away with bending social mores much more. I've observed that even in Ireland people tend towards "their own" much more than they don't. People from I dunno Dalkey are much more likely to end up with others from Dalkey or similar(and it's a little more than who they meet). Women are more socially mobile of course.

ToniTuddle wrote:

I'd say it is very possible to fall in love with someone you have known all your life but....no idea how on earth it would get started. Guess yous would need to have been in contact alot more than usual or something for the spark to appear!

I've seen it happen alright and usually IME when the two involved hadn't seen each other for a while, even though they knew each other for a long time previously.

Poor Craythur

Wibbs wrote: »

I would somewhat agree, in Ireland it's less so. Ireland went more like the US where wealth was more the deciding factor than "class". Though the latter is just wealth over more than one generation. I'm not sure Plath and Hughes are that good an example. For one arty types can get away with bending social mores much more. I've observed that even in Ireland people tend towards "their own" much more than they don't. People from I dunno Dalkey are much more likely to end up with others from Dalkey or similar(and it's a little more than who they meet). Women are more socially mobile of course.

Dalkey's an extreme example though. I find South Dublin more rigidly class-conscious than the country on a whole. It was quite new to me when I first moved to Dublin. I didn't even know fee-paying day schools existed before then, and I'm actually being serious here. My school, as many down the country are, was a very mixed socio-economic bag.

Yes, women are more socially mobile, definitely. Women are more likely to want to marry up, men don't seem as fussed.

sobertales

I came from a country convent and there were still social classes formed - townies, country girls (though looking back we were all country girls lol!), shy girls, sporty girls etc...

Back on topic - I think life is such a leveller, time and experience changes you so much that it would make sense that you could already know your soul mate and have discounted them for any number of reasons based on your own situation at that time... You don't really even know yourself when you are younger, as you get older your perceptions of everything change including of the people you knew at another time of your life!

I gotta keep my eyes open the next time I'm back home in Kerry... :eek:

WindSock

Poor Craythur wrote: »

Dalkey's an extreme example though. I find South Dublin more rigidly class-conscious than the country on a whole. It was quite new to me when I first moved to Dublin. I didn't even know fee-paying day schools existed before then, and I'm actually being serious here. My school, as many down the country are, was a very mixed socio-economic bag.

Yes, women are more socially mobile, definitely. Women are more likely to want to marry up, men don't seem as fussed.

I read somewhere that women are more likely to marry down than men.


Thought it was interesting as you would think it were the other way around, but it seems to apply to lots of women I know.

Poor Craythur

WindSock wrote: »

I read somewhere that women are more likely to marry down than men.


Thought it was interesting as you would think it were the other way around, but it seems to apply to lots of women I know.

Well, historically women would marry up, but some sociologists reckon many wives in the future will earn more than their husbands.

mood

Poor Craythur wrote: »

Well, historically women would marry up, but some sociologists reckon many wives in the future will earn more than their husbands.

Many women in the present earn more than their husbands/partners. With most couples I know the woman earns more.

LegacyUser

I can see how a future partners could be someone you've known for a time. I thinks it's obvious when groups of your friends from different areas in you're life meet up. In my case anyway they all seem to get on.
I already have been to one wedding that the couple met through me!

Blush_01

I laughed when I saw this, because I think it's true... I do know him, but (unfortunately) so does his girlfriend.

Maybe one of my other hundreds and thousands of perfect partners will turn up some day. (Don't all rush at once though! )

mfceiling

I'm originally from tyrone and the missus is from laois.
We met in australia
We had never met before this
Neither of us had mobile phones at the time

This theory you read about....

Wonkagirl

Just had a quick scan of the aul address book there.. . shudder

Wonder if i tracked down Tommy Bowe's number and shoved it in there would it increase my chances ?

Up-n-atom!

Don't know if they have to be in your phone particularly, but I think there's definitely a few people you have met in your life that are suited to you in a romantic sense. If you think about it, if you take the usual school-uni-working a few different jobs-travelling arc that most people take nowadays (and add to that friend of family, sports & social groups etc), you end up having met a hell of a lot of people, not all of whom you connect with straight away.

There's definitely someone from my recent past that I have a big crush on, but I don't think it's going to happen at this stage.:( A few years ago I almost got together with a guy I'd been to school with but we'd never really spoken much or been friends - it's funny how you meet people later and it's very different! Kinda wish I'd called him! So I don't think it's 'settling' if you go for someone you've previously overlooked, most people change over time.

s3129

Yep mine is in my phone book. He doesn't know this yet, nor does he know his number is in my phone book. But we will be married...

Hahahaha

MIN2511

Where is he????????????? I'm still single

Delirium

What about people who communicate mainly through facebook/twitter et al? With the advent of the iphone and smartphone, people can now communicate with someone without exchanging phone numbers.

I know I chat a bit with boardsies on facebook but I think I might only 1 or 2 of their numbers.

I definitely agree with the 'making do' comment. some people panic and look through the phonebook (on their phone, not the literal phonebook:eek::P) for someone that they think might work as a potential boyfriend/girlfriend.

beks101

Yeah I can see that. Though I think maybe it's more of an Irish thing than anything else, the country being so small and social groups being more inter-twined and everything.

I'd say it's been 50/50 people I know versus strangers I've randomly met when it comes to relationships I've had. It makes sense that a friend of the opposite sex becomes more in time, but more recently I'm finding the relationships I've had were never platonic and started with the spark and the romantic interest...so they didn't sit for years in my phone before the 'click' happened. I sort of attribute that to being in a different, bigger country with different cultural components to the dating scene. And also my own personality. I've had very few 'growers' in my dating past...when I meet someone, I'm generally either attracted straight away or I'm not. I've a firm line between friendship and 'something more's.

I can definitely think of a few guys in my phone book who could always become something more though. One guy in particular, who I've always had a bit of a 'thing' with, but the timing has just never been right. Maybe some day...