My HRT log

Links234

I'm starting this thread to keep a log of how I feel now that I've started hormone replacement, document what changes I notice happening, for myself to be able to look back on and for anyone else who might find it useful.

04/03/11 - Started Zoladex to stop testosterone production

It's day 2 of HRT, and I'm absolutely over the moon to have started, it'll probably be a while before I'll start to notice anything, but just having started has made me the happiest I've ever been in a very long time!

L.Jenkins

Yeay! Go you, will be a great read.

deirdre_dub

I presume/hope you will be keeping a "this is what transition looks like..." type of photographic record, even if it's just for your own benefit.

The changes happen slowly, and hence aren't noticed by someone who sees you on a day-to-day basis. You won't notice much change in the mirror for quite some time, but someone who doesn't see you for a couple of months at a time could be expressing shock well before that.

Looking forward to reading your accounts.

Links234

Yeah D, been taking photos of myself every few days for a while now and will continue to do that. I've changed so much over the last year already, it was amazing to see that and I'm very glad I kept photographic records or I wouldn't believe it.

Links234

Day 3, I wasn't sure at first, but I think my apetite has lowered a bit. I just feel really great though.

Canard

Awww congratulations.
So every day, do you have to give yourself an injection of hormones? Or are they patches that you stick on? I think I've heard of both, not really sure.

Links234

so far I'm only one Zoladex, which is to block my testosterone, I get that once a month. I've not been prescribed estrogen yet

deirdre_dub

Patchy~ wrote: »

Awww congratulations.
So every day, do you have to give yourself an injection of hormones? Or are they patches that you stick on? I think I've heard of both, not really sure.

For M2F trans folk, there are two sets of hormone treatment.

The first is reduction of testosterone (with what are called "anti-androgens"). This is what links is on right now. In the Irish system, it consists of an injection once every month or three months. There are other anti-androgens out there, and not all of them are delivered via an injection.

The second is estrogen. In Ireland, you can get oral or patches. The oral is once a day (I believe), the patches are twice a week.

In some countries, you also get progesterone.

As for F2M trans folk, I believe the only hormone treatment is testosterone, as testosterone is stronger than the estrogen that F2M folk produce naturally. I know that there is an injection form, and I also know that there is a form that you just rub on your arm which seeps through the skin and into the blood stream.

The latter form of testosterone is not recommended for straight F2M men who are in a relationship with a woman, for the simple reason that there is a danger that the testosterone gel could rub off on her, with not-very-nice consequences for her :eek: .

I've had the scary experience of holding a sachet of this testosterone gel in my hand, wondering how fscking freaked out I would be if the sachet broke and started spilling the testosterone all over me! :eek:

MsStroggatrix

Zoladex is not actually an anti androgen, it is a hormone called Goserelin. It is something called a GnRH agonist, it overloads your endocrine system so it stops producing sex hormones.

There is a negative feedback loop in the endocrine system and the way Goserelin works is to make you body over produce hormones for a couple of days, so much so that the negative feedback loop tell the pituitary gland to stop producing hormones - So for the first few days after starting Zoladex your "natural" sex hormone levels will actually be higher!

F2M transgender people undergoing HRT are also given it under certain circumstances.

It is also used in the treatment of breast cancer and prostate cancer. Some countries also use it to chemically castrate sex offenders.

It is far less dangerous than the alternatives - which are really anti androgens - because it does not have side effects that can cause liver damage. The disadvantages is it is much more expesive.

Eebs

MsStroggatrix wrote: »

Zoladex ..... F2M transgender people undergoing HRT are also given it under certain circumstances.

Just to note, there are very few circumstances I think a FTM person should be prescribed blockers. The simple fact is that if you take T you won't need it and as you mentioned these drugs are very heavy on your liver etc.
So no, FTMs shouldn't really be taking it and if you are and you're not sure why you should definitely talk to your endo about why that is. There is some misconception among a lot of transmen that they need to take blockers (in order to get a good result on hormones etc.). Just think that's an important point.



Also someone mentioned gel vs injection. Another reason, in addition to the ones mentioned, 'pro' for the injection is that's it's about 3 times cheaper to buy the injection (by about 200euro every 3 months) which is a lot. And most people describe the shot as being more effective. Again I think it's important people are informed about these very simple things that may make a big difference in their choices of hormone delivery.

wonderfulname

It looks like this thread is going to give me quite the education, now if only I know which of my educators to listen to...

Congrats Links, looking forward to hearing how you get on!

MsStroggatrix

@Eebs - I know. I just wanted to point out that it does happens sometimes in rare cases - I know one F2M person who was put on blockers for a while. Was just pointing it out to be thorough !

Links234

I would've assumed "anti-androgen" would be any testosterone blocker, I don't know everything

BanzaiBk

Congrats on getting started Links.

Canard

Ah, thanks deirdre.
Would spilling one sachet of testosterone really have any effect though? :P
(I'm uninformed on this area of LGBT, sorry for all the questions! )

deirdre_dub

Patchy~ wrote: »

Ah, thanks deirdre.
Would spilling one sachet of testosterone really have any effect though? :P

It would have on me! :eek:

OMG I would have gone screaming from the room. It's quite awesome to hold in your hand something that causes you so very much pain, yet causes others so much happiness.

OK - that's not the question you were asking - you were asking about medical effects. I don't know, tbh. But the psychological effects would have been enough!

Canard

Oh no I meant like effects that'd be noticeable, pain would be one I guess. :P Thats crazy. :eek:

Thanks for answering my questions!

Azure_sky

When I first saw a TS inject herself with that needle shivers went down my spine...

deirdre_dub

Azure_sky wrote: »

When I first saw a TS inject herself with that needle shivers went down my spine...

I know some girls who inject themselves - it makes me feel like a bit of a wuss that I go to the doctor.

Speaking of my doctor - I had had a few injections before I had to change my doctor. When my new doctor saw the needle, he said that he was familiar with it, as he gives it to some of his male cancer patients. Anyhoo, he said "I presume you want a local?". I said no - I'd never had a local - none of my friends have locals - the injection isn't that bad. He couldn't believe it! :eek: Apparently, all of his other patients ask for a local at the injection site! Any time I see him now, he calls me a "mad thing" for not taking a local! I don't feel so bad now.

I think he must think I was pulling his leg when I said that I know people who inject themselves. One of these days, I'll pick up the courage to inject myself in his presence...

Links234

Day 5

I wasn't entirely sure at first and I didn't mention it yet because I thought it might have been wishful thinking on my part, but the last couple of days my skin has felt noticibly softer, I can say there definitely has been a change there.

Yesterday while I was out for a walk, my nipples felt itchy. I got home and lifted my T-shirt, and they looked and felt bigger, kinda standing to attention. I didn't mention this right away because I wasn't too sure if it was some wishful thinking/mind playing tricks on me and I'm a little surprised things are happening that fast, but today they definitely seem bigger and more sensitive.

so far so good, definitely on the right path to feeling more comfortable in my own skin

Links234

Day 8

My body odor has definitely changed, I don't smell very "male" any more. This is really fantastic, because the way my own body smelled made me gag before it was so revolting. That's all going away now.

I can say for sure that the changes I noticed in the previous post definitely aren't wishful thinking, my skin is certainly a lot softer.

MsStroggatrix

You'll get a less metallic smell, testosterone gives BO a metallic smell.

My skin actually became noticeably rougher for a short time.

Eebs

MsStroggatrix wrote: »

You'll get a less metallic smell, testosterone gives BO a metallic smell.

My skin actually became noticeably rougher for a short time.

Oi! I'm no bloody Iron man!

Links234

Day 14

I think I've lost some strength. Stuff seems heavier now, takes more effort just to lift things. I gotta be careful, because I've had some other trans women warn me that after they started HRT, they'd continue to lift things the same as they did before and hurt themselves. I should probably do some stretching exercises in the morning though.

Azure_sky

Have you noticed you bruise more easily?

hare05

Links234 wrote: »

Day 14

I think I've lost some strength. Stuff seems heavier now, takes more effort just to lift things. I gotta be careful, because I've had some other trans women warn me that after they started HRT, they'd continue to lift things the same as they did before and hurt themselves. I should probably do some stretching exercises in the morning though.

That's one of the things that worries me. I do a lot of heavy lifting in my job (I'm the only one there who can lug a 50kg box up onto one shoulder and carry it out solo , I could also shoulder press more than 100kg back when I weighed 73kg, had to tie my feet down to do it :rolleyes: I'm now closer to 95kg with more arm muscle). Basically ended up as 'the one people go to to lift stuff' and I'm happy doing it but I won't be able to keep it up when I start HRT.

Funny thing is, even if I lose 2/3 of my strength, I'll still be up there with most of the guys :P

One thing to remember is bend the knees for anything remotely heavy. Get into practice doing that and even if you do lose muscle mass, you'll have the habit of testing weights before injuring yourself. Did my back in, mid-August last year and ended up with 2 months of pain for one second's idiocy. :pac: Probably should have taken the days off and the pain meds but... meh :cool:

deirdre_dub

Links234 wrote: »

I think I've lost some strength. Stuff seems heavier now, takes more effort just to lift things.

It took me months on HRT before I started to notice things getting heavier. Even now (17 months in), it's just that lifting my bike up the stairs at work is just that bit more difficult. It's not a "OMG I can't do this", it's a "hmmm - my bike has definitely gained weight".

Having said that, one of my friends (over 2 years in) who works in a heavy-lifting type of job is struggling a bit. She's still able to do it, but not as well or as quickly as she used to.

So, Links, I suspect your recent lifting difficulties may have less to do with HRT and more to do with cream pies and watching too much TV?

deirdre_dub

Azure_sky wrote: »

Have you noticed you bruise more easily?

Yup - I've definitely become more clumsy - I keep bruising myself bumping into things! :rolleyes:

Seriously - it's kind funny how I seem to have become quite scatterbrained at times.

MsStroggatrix

Meh, not so sure about the whole strength thing. I'm still able to lift and carry about 50 kilos quite easily after about 22 months since starting Zoladex. The heaviest things I'd usually lug around are speaker cabinets and guitar amplifiers.

If anything, lifting things became a little harder, but actually carrying stuff was grand. As long as you keep exercising you'll be fine. Exercising and keeping fit can even help the physical effects of HRT - so it is a good idea to keep it up.

Links234

yeah, I do exercise regularly and try to keep fit. and I'm not eating cream pies, thank you very much Deirdre! but just using the exercise bike the other day, I've felt that it was harder than usual, I got tired out quicker than I normally would.

I'll generally go for long walks most days, use the exercise bike a few times a week, and also do squats and some weight training.

anyway, less to do with HRT? that's kinda what I meant by "mind playing tricks on me", and maybe it's something else? I dunno, it could be. But I feel like lacking energy I guess?

Again, dunno if this is related or not, but I've felt it much easier to get to sleep lately.

Fago!

Well done Links. Happy for ye. Looking forward to your post entitled "Final Day"

Oh and I just realised your username is a Rammstein song. Awesome!

MsStroggatrix

The lack of energy is probably just body shock form the sudden lack of sex hormones, cause you are just on Zoladex you have no sex hormones in your system right now. That is most likely why you feel tired.

It also messes up your blood sugar - something you need to be a little vigilant about on HRT.

Links234

Day 22

I've noticed a drop in libido.

Links234

Day 27

I had noticed little lumps under my nipples a while ago, they're not really sore or tender, but the left one did hurt a little when I squeezed it. I think these are definitely breast buds

I'm due to get my next injection soon too.

MsStroggatrix

Wait until you bump one off the door you're opening! That is sore !

Glad things are going well !

Links234

Thanks! and yep, I've got that to look forward to

they don't really hurt yet, so it'll be a while before I see any real development there I think, but nice to know things are happening

Links234

Day 29, got my second Zoladex injection today. Doctor confirmed I am definitely developing breasts. All is good.

wonderfulname

Fantastic, as interesting as the physical changes are, I was wondering how you actually feel this far in, how does it feel each time you notice something new? Is there kind of a standard level of whatever emotion or sense across the board or are effects cumulative with each passing day? Or are you just getting on with life?

Links234

wonderfulname wrote: »

Fantastic, as interesting as the physical changes are, I was wondering how you actually feel this far in, how does it feel each time you notice something new? Is there kind of a standard level of whatever emotion or sense across the board or are effects cumulative with each passing day? Or are you just getting on with life?

hard to say, generally feeling pretty relaxed and happy, though the last few days I did get more irritable I think. definitely elated with physical changes I've been noticing and just so relieved I don't really have to worry about any more "damage" from testosterone.

I suppose I'm just getting on with life too, now that I've started HRT I can just relax and let things take their course, instead of worrying.

MsStroggatrix

The real changes are really gradual. You'll only notice them when others point the out.

G.K.

I know it's a bit of a bump, but congrats on the start of HRT, and I hope it goes well for you. Good luck with all that follows.

Links234

G.K. wrote: »

I know it's a bit of a bump, but congrats on the start of HRT, and I hope it goes well for you. Good luck with all that follows.

Thank you very much

G.K.

No problem. It's great that people can sort their lives around.

Links234

Day 39

I've noticed that the growth of my facial hair (what little of it there is at this point) has slowed down.

Links234

Day 45

Think I'm noticing a difference in body hair as well. Feeling a little tenderness of the breasts. libido has really decreased

WantToBeRose

Links234 wrote: »

Day 45

Think I'm noticing a difference in body hair as well. Feeling a little tenderness of the breasts. libido has really decreased

Has body hair become softer and/or lighter?:)

Links234

Yeah Rose, but it's early days yet. I think once I've started estrogen, there will be more significant differences.

Asry

I hope this doesn't have any unwarranted side effects? Or does it? Sickness or whatever? Or are you OK? Anyway I hope you're OK.

Links234

thanks for your concern Asry

I'm doing extremely well though, can't say there's any unwarranted side effects so far, I'm feeling better than ever.

Oh! Day 47
this morning I was gendered female by some guy.

Meesared

Hey Links, do you mind me asking how old you are?

just curiousity!

Links234

How DARE you! you should never ask a woman her age!

I'm in my 20's.