Fúck off married men

Darlughda

What the hell is the problem with some married men?

They spend a fortune getting married to their long term girlfriends, then they troll dating sites, and even when you specifically state no married men they still message you.

Usually something inspiring like 'Hi hun, how r u?'

But, then they don't give up. They claim they like 'chatting to you'. WTF?

Why on earth do these selfish egotists even think a woman would want to converse with them?

If they are that desperate for sex why oh why can they not tell their wives they need more action in the bedroom?

I just wish they would quit pretending to be single.

WindSock

How do you know they are married? And why bother replying if its obvious.

chillywilly

Just message them back saying you are a bloke with a big dinger. That 'ill learn 'em!!

Aoifey!

Just don't reply?

Cavehill Red

Darlughda wrote: »

Why on earth do these selfish egotists even think a woman would want to converse with them?

Because at least one did previously?

whiteboy

marriage, sums it up really

RichieC

Time to troll, schmooze them, get personal details, then ruin their lives.

all in the name of good f*cking sport.

Darlughda

WindSock wrote: »

How do you know they are married? And why bother replying if its obvious.

Well, they claim to be single. Then after a few back and forth emails you notice that they reply to their emails at strange times, and are dead keen to get you onto instant messaging.

Haruki

How did you find out they are married ?

Darlughda

Haruki wrote: »

How did you find out they are married ?

One guy told me his fiancée died by suicide,:eek:(how could any decent human try that story??) so I stupidly thought it would be wrong to suspect anything amiss, however his reluctance to ever go his place rather than mine soon had me smelling a rat.

davyjose

Darlughda wrote: »

One guy told me his fiancée died by suicide,:eek:(how could any decent human try that story??) so I stupidly thought it would be wrong to suspect anything amiss, however his reluctance to ever go his place rather than mine soon had me smelling a rat.

At least he wasn't married...

strobe

lol. Subscribed.

hondasam

OP stop talking to them if it bothers you that much.

Haruki

Darlughda wrote: »

One guy told me his fiancée died by suicide,:eek:(how could any decent human try that story??) so I stupidly thought it would be wrong to suspect anything amiss, however his reluctance to ever go his place rather than mine soon had me smelling a rat.

Oh i see...so you actually met this person...:eek:

Darlughda

Haruki wrote: »

Oh i see...so you actually met this person...:eek:

Yes. No doubt the tragic Ophelia character was his living, breathing wife at this stage.

Which makes me wonder about the role of wives in all of this.

Do they really not know what their husbands are up to, or do they just choose good old denial as the easy option?

strobe

Darlughda wrote: »

Yes. No doubt the tragic Ophelia character was his living, breathing wife at this stage.

Which makes me wonder about the role of wives in all of this.

Do they really not know what their husbands are up to, or do they just choose good old denial as the easy option?

Sounds like they choose you as the 'easy option'.


sorry sorry sorry.

hondasam

Darlughda wrote: »

Yes. No doubt the tragic Ophelia character was his living, breathing wife at this stage.

Which makes me wonder about the role of wives in all of this.

Do they really not know what their husbands are up to, or do they just choose good old denial as the easy option?

maybe the have an open marriage and she knows and doesn't care

WindSock

They are probably on dating sites too. Or else they may be married for convenience. Who knows.

Darlughda

WindSock wrote: »

They are probably on dating sites too. Or else they may be married for convenience. Who knows.

Nah. People in mutually consenting open marriages are very upfront and truthful about that.

Also, marriages for convenience do not require such deception and secrecy.

hondasam

WindSock wrote: »

They are probably on dating sites too. Or else they may be married for convenience. Who knows.

who cares it's their business.

Cavehill Red

I'm online at odd hours.
I like instant messaging as it's more like a chat than email is.
I wouldn't bring a chick home until I was sure it was deadly serious, as I live with my kid.
But I'm not married.
Equally, I don't use dating sites, but if I did, I imagine I'd behave just as you've described.
In short, OP, are you absolutely sure you aren't jumping the gun a bit assuming all these people are married?

WindSock

Go for the younger chaps in their 20s, less likely to be married and are less baldy. Perhaps.

Haruki

Darlughda wrote: »

Yes. No doubt the tragic Ophelia character was his living, breathing wife at this stage.

Which makes me wonder about the role of wives in all of this.

Do they really not know what their husbands are up to, or do they just choose good old denial as the easy option?

Hard to know, but i wouldn't really be questioning the wives. Out of interest, how long would you chat to someone on a dating website before meeting them in person ?

Darlughda

Cavehill Red wrote: »

I'm online at odd hours.
I like instant messaging as it's more like a chat than email is.
I wouldn't bring a chick home until I was sure it was deadly serious, as I live with my kid.
But I'm not married.
Equally, I don't use dating sites, but if I did, I imagine I'd behave just as you've described.
In short, OP, are you absolutely sure you aren't jumping the gun a bit assuming all these people are married?

But, are you always straight up and honest that you have your kid living with you?

Cavehill Red

Darlughda wrote: »

But, are you always straight up and honest that you have your kid living with you?

Yes, but it's not like it's the first thing out of my mouth either. It doesn't define me as a person. It's just one aspect of who I am, and I parent alone. I don't need a mammy for my kid.
So, yes, I do say I have a kid who lives with me. But maybe not on the first date. It can be off-putting for some women. I've heard the same from single mums too. And that's not necessarily giving a relationship a chance if someone decides based on a prejudice about single parents. My child doesn't come on my dates. My kid is a teen, living their own life nearly.
I've found it can work better if I get to relate to a woman on our own terms first before introducing other elements into the equation, as much to see if the relationship has a future as to protect my kid.

LighterGuy

hey op,
i know what you mean.

there actually is a very strong percentage of men and women who use such sites and they have a partner. weather married or in relationship. Its sad but its a testoment to how you got to keep your eyes open to what your partner may be doing.


online or offline.

LighterGuy

Cavehill Red wrote: »

Yes, but it's not like it's the first thing out of my mouth either. It doesn't define me as a person. It's just one aspect of who I am, and I parent alone. I don't need a mammy for my kid.

I know what you mean, mate.
Its a double edged sword tho. If you come out first thing and say you are a parent, you would put certain people off. But if you hold it back until a few dates it can still bite you in the ass because they felt they were getting to know you then a shock.

Darlughda

Cavehill Red wrote: »

Yes, but it's not like it's the first thing out of my mouth either. It doesn't define me as a person. It's just one aspect of who I am, and I parent alone. I don't need a mammy for my kid.
So, yes, I do say I have a kid who lives with me. But maybe not on the first date. It can be off-putting for some women. I've heard the same from single mums too. And that's not necessarily giving a relationship a chance if someone decides based on a prejudice about single parents. My child doesn't come on my dates. My kid is a teen, living their own life nearly.
I've found it can work better if I get to relate to a woman on our own terms first before introducing other elements into the equation, as much to see if the relationship has a future as to protect my kid.

This I can utterly respect. It is about integrity and honesty. There is no pretending you are without commitments and responsiblities. I am assuming if the subject came up on the first date scenario, you would be honest about your situation?

Cavehill Red

LighterGuy wrote: »

I know what you mean, mate.
Its a double edged sword tho. If you come out first thing and say you are a parent, you would put certain people off. But if you hold it back until a few dates it can still bite you in the ass because they felt they were getting to know you then a shock.

If it doesn't concern them, I don't see why it would be a shock. I don't lie. If someone asked me what I thought about kids, I'd admit to having one, for example. But if it doesn't come up, I don't see a reason to scupper something at the outset by dropping what can sound like a bomb in a girl's ear when in fact it would have very little impact on a relationship.
You're right that timing is an issue. If I felt a relationship was developing into something, I'd certainly mention it.

Cavehill Red

Darlughda wrote: »

This I can utterly respect. It is about integrity and honesty. There is no pretending you are without commitments and responsiblities. I am assuming if the subject came up on the first date scenario, you would be honest about your situation?

I had one funny moment one time on a date with a girl I knew via a former workplace. We knew each other slightly, and I asked her out. Midway through the date, she gave me a look and asked what I felt about kids. So I told her I had one living with me, and she laughed and told me she was a single mum. She later said that she never said it on a first date before, but something came over her and she just felt she shouldn't waste her time getting involved again and then having some lad walk away when he heard about her kid.
We had a good laugh about that. Relationship didn't go very far sadly, but it was an interesting moment.
It's different to being in a relationship or married, though. I mean, my kid might be off at a friend's house, or their granny's, or some other relative's gaff on any given weekend. Holidays abroad with mum. I have plenty of time when I'm not encumbered by parental responsibility. It wasn't always that way but it is now, so I don't see that it should especially impact on a relationship and hence I wouldn't turn up to a date wearing a "World's Best Dad" t-shirt.

LighterGuy

Reminds me of talking to my friend tonight.
Havent talked to her in 6 months or so. Conversation got onto how was the love life recently...

she says she was seeing someone for 2 months recently. During the period she got a vibe off him that he had a girlfriend. So she added him to facebook. He wouldnt confirm her. She wisely thought something was amiss. So she looked at his friends (as you can still do without being a friend) and came across his girlfriend :rolleyes:

The topic of "facebook relationship" status pops up alot of boards.ie but personally i think if you are dating someone and they flat out refuse to display your relationship status with them ... it does justify caution in this day in age.

jimmycrackcorm

Darlughda wrote: »

What the hell is the problem with some married men?

They spend a fortune getting married to their long term girlfriends, then they troll dating sites, and even when you specifically state no married men they still message you.

Usually something inspiring like 'Hi hun, how r u?'

But, then they don't give up. They claim they like 'chatting to you'. WTF?

Why on earth do these selfish egotists even think a woman would want to converse with them?

If they are that desperate for sex why oh why can they not tell their wives they need more action in the bedroom?

I just wish they would quit pretending to be single.

Time of the month is it?

Darlughda

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

Time of the month is it?

What time would that be now jimbo?

strobe

Darlughda wrote: »

What time would that be now jimbo?

Spring Equinox?

Spore

Haters gonna hate! OP, what the hell are you doing on internet dating websites in the first place? Get out into the realworld and away from the weirdos ffs.

Darlughda

strobe wrote: »

Spring Equinox?

Hold yer horses. There's still frost at night. Not for another fortnight at least.

Darlughda

Spore wrote: »

Haters gonna hate! OP, what the hell are you doing on internet dating websites in the first place? Get out into the realworld and away from the weirdos ffs.

Yeah like the bleary eyed drunks in pubs and clubs?

Spore

Darlughda wrote: »

Yeah like the bleary eyed drunks in pubs and clubs?

Met some of the best, most interesting people in my life in pubs and clubs. And a lot of foreigners aren't as big a drinkers as us lot. I'm dating a lovely girl tomorrow - someone I chatted up in a pub recently. I consider the pub a part of my culture. I think online dating is totally alien to me, but each to their own.

WindSock

Spore wrote: »

Haters gonna hate! OP, what the hell are you doing on internet dating websites in the first place? Get out into the realworld and away from the weirdos ffs.

Hah, its only weirdys on the net and no weirdys in real life?

Aoifey!

WindSock wrote: »

Hah, its only weirdys on the net and no weirdys in real life?

Well there are quite a few weirdys on the net...look at the people on boards for instance

Spore

WindSock wrote: »

Hah, its only weirdys on the net and no weirdys in real life?

I said internet dating websites, obviously boards.ie is weirdo free... It's just a personal thing, I've heard mostly negative stuff about dating websites, just like the above thing.

LighterGuy

Spore wrote: »

.... I consider the pub a part of my culture. I think online dating is totally alien to me, but each to their own.

On paper the idea of dating sites are brilliant. To give people who dont have opportunies to meet people they would of never met due to their lives... that said. You cannot, and will never not be able to replace meeting people in the real world.

Yeah sure, some people have had success with online dating. But your average person will just come across people with baggage, weirdos, cheaters, utter a**holes .. i could go on. Now you get the above in life too. But personally, I think the net aplifies it.

Savage Tyrant

I'm not married. Do ye want the ride?

roast

You're in the after hours forum, you should know that teh interwebs is full of trolls. I'm sure you'd have to expect it from any dating website... just get over it, go to a bar, and hook up with someone there.

Preferably me. If you're daycent.

Darlughda

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

I'm not married. Do ye want the ride?

Thank you for the kind offer. But no, I'll pass on this occasion.

Savage Tyrant

Darlughda wrote: »

Thank you for the kind offer. But no, I'll pass on this occasion.

Probably just as well. I'm married anyway.

Micky Dolenz

Did the bad married man try and touch you?

lamai

Men like riding

Vicxas

Internet are breeding sites for married man because it usually cant be traced back to them, they can claim it was set up as a joke etc. And OP im sorry youve had back luck in RL and on teh interwebs, have you tried a message in a bottle, I could make a movie out of it and we could make millions!

lamai

Are you a lesbian?

Gummy Panda

OP just let them lob it into you and stop caring about their wives.