Things you can do on the dole working mugs can't

SamSamSammy

drink all day.
stay in bed til midday, and enjoy it ta fuuck.
do whatever you want.
not have to answer to a boss.
not having a boss tell you what to do.
spend the afternoon punting the gees gees with the boys.
play football on a sunny afternoon, any day.
have the craic.
have an excuse to get the nitelink home from a night out.
go out any night and not have to worry about getting up early for work.
eating all day to recover from your hangover, while lying on the couch.
watch tv all day.
crack one off whenever you want.

any more good ones.....

Kimono-Girl

look for a job?

MaybeI

Become a political and economic expert on Boards.ie.

wiger toods

Kimono-Girl wrote: »

look for a job?

Are you suurrious like?:pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac:

SamSamSammy

watch p0rn all day is another good one.....

winston82

MaybeI wrote: »

Become a political and economic expert on Boards.ie.

Spend all day wishing my life was going somewhere

MaybeI

Vote Sinn Fein.

EarlERizer

SamSamSammy wrote: »

drink all day.
stay in bed til midday, and enjoy it ta fuuck.
do whatever you want.
not have to answer to a boss.
not having a boss tell you what to do.
spend the afternoon punting the gees gees with the boys.
play football on a sunny afternoon, any day.
have the craic.
have an excuse to get the nitelink home from a night out.
go out any night and not have to worry about getting up early for work.
eating all day to recover from your hangover, while lying on the couch.
watch tv all day.
crack one off whenever you want.

any more good ones.....

:eek: €188 a week covers all that? fook me i'm doing something wrong with my job seekers!:rolleyes:

Cat Melodeon

Lose any sense of time passing along with my self-worth.

Then get over it and start doing stuff that I actually enjoy doing, like fixing up the house and garden, doing some night classes, doing voluntary work that is rewarding, setting up as a freelancer etc. I'm poor but life is good.

Senna

feel some self worth

TanG411

Yabber on about not working.
Obey nobody but yourself.
Unclog a drain.

Achieve your potential.
Relive some past experiences.
Exercise.

Accuse others for not giving you a job.

Catch a frisbee.
Unbox some items.
Nag about signing on.
Teach yourself to read the first letter of every statement.

SamSamSammy

not have to worry about government tax increases....

EarlERizer

MaybeI wrote: »

Vote Sinn Fein.

That was last weeks highlight!!

Aoifey!

Make threads on boards to try wind people up

TheZohanS

SamSamSammy wrote: »

drink all day.
stay in bed til midday, and enjoy it ta fuuck.
do whatever you want.
not have to answer to a boss.
not having a boss tell you what to do.
spend the afternoon punting the gees gees with the boys.
play football on a sunny afternoon, any day.
have the craic.
have an excuse to get the nitelink home from a night out.
go out any night and not have to worry about getting up early for work.
eating all day to recover from your hangover, while lying on the couch.
watch tv all day.
crack one off whenever you want.

any more good ones.....

Wait 'til the government tax your bridge, you'll have to move out from under it then.

admiralofthefleet

wish you had a job

Badgermonkey

Graph the ratio of murder by poisoning solved by Dr. Mark Sloane vs the Gardai.

MaybeI

TheZohan wrote: »

Wait 'til the government tax your bridge, you'll have to move out from under it then.

In fairness, most of what he said is true :eek:

WindSock

Learn the sitar and wash and brush my head full of long luxurious hippy hair.

SamSamSammy

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

wish you had a job

LOL

MaybeI

Not have to have a clean shave every day. Or every few days if you cant grow facial hair.

WallyGUFC

Enjoy life in the knowledge that you're a complete and utter waste of time and public resources.

WindSock

Catch up on my correspondents.

SamSamSammy

missed another, get free housing...

Standard Toaster

Lose all self worth

EarlERizer

WallyGUFC wrote: »

Enjoy life in the knowledge that you're a complete and utter waste of time and public resources.

:rolleyes: There's always one!

WindSock

Dance past office windows on sunny days with wads of dole money. Yeah, their money apparently. Not mine, Der taxes, derp.

yrwhu8jxtni06a

MaybeI wrote: »

In fairness, most of what he said is true :eek:

Just reminded me of sort who don't want to work but can keep in good health and comfort.


Other stuff the state can reward you with if you choose not to actual seek work and be a career doler-

Med card

Back to education allowance.

Fuel allowance

Rent supplement

School and footwear allowance.

Household Benefits Package.

Badgermonkey

WallyGUFC wrote: »

Enjoy life in the knowledge that you're a complete and utter waste of time and public resources.

Civil servant?

EarlERizer

WallyGUFC wrote: »

Enjoy life in the knowledge that you're a complete and utter waste of time and public resources.

Badgermonkey wrote: »

Civil servant?

:eek: wait a minute..........is samsamsammy a "retired" FF member? is that you Brian? lol

naughto

play the xbox day and not give a fu1ck

scratch your balls

try and claim as much free money as possible

go to the doc even when not sick cos its free

watch porn as much as possible

know the rte guide insde out

SamSamSammy

secretly laugh at people that tell you to get a job safe in the knowledge they are super jealous of your relaxing life.

bonerm

Say things like "I have to go down to the post-office tomorrow to get my pay"

(overheard in Dublin by yours truely).

WindSock

bonerm wrote: »

Say things like "I have to go down to the post-office tomorrow to get my pay"

(overheard in Dublin by yours truely).

Maybe it was me you heard. Although I call it me wages.

karlog

Be called a freeloader

EarlERizer

karlog wrote: »

Be called a freeloader

:rolleyes: my mistake, seems like there's sometimes two!

bonerm

WindSock wrote: »

Maybe it was me you heard. Although I call it me wages.

Nah I have separate time periods allocated for stalking you.

WindSock

bonerm wrote: »

Nah I have separate time periods allocated for stalking you.

I guess I just happened to be there. In the place that you were.

Oh and thanks for taking my rubbish. I wish not to waste my wages on waste.

bonerm

WindSock wrote: »

I guess I just happened to be there. In the place that you were.

Oh and thanks for taking my rubbish. I wish not to waste my wages on waste.

No worries. BTW I'm very impressed with how you neatly fold your rubbish before placing it in the bin.

AFC_1903

Be smug knowing that despite no longer being a Fianna Fáil TD you still regularly given money you didn't earn.

WindSock

bonerm wrote: »

No worries. BTW I'm very impressed with how you neatly fold your rubbish before placing it in the bin.

Oh thanks! That's just from my OCD brought about from my crippling childhood traumas. Almost makes it worth all the hassle now.

CDfm

EarlERizer wrote: »

:eek: €188 a week covers all that? fook me i'm doing something wrong with my job seekers!:rolleyes:

You need to shop at Lidl where you can get drunk for a tenner and 20 cents a race is enough to bet .

Whatcha going to spend the other 100 euro on ? Ya get your rent paid.

bonerm

WindSock wrote: »

Oh thanks! That's just from my OCD brought about from my crippling childhood traumas. Almost makes it worth all the hassle now.

Ah! Well pass my compliments onto the parent\schoolmate\priest\circusclown\other who planted the seeds of such compulsion into your head. I almost shed a tear as I admired the cardboard waste packing neatly ordered into pairs and then arranged by colour and size. I almost felt bad taking it home to hang it all on my wall. It was tantamount breaking up the Barnes Collection.

WallyGUFC

EarlERizer wrote: »

:rolleyes: There's always one!

Meant it more in a joking sense but whatever.

Willard

Grow a savage beard! while safe in the knowing there wont be any interviews you'll need to shave for.

WindSock

bonerm wrote: »

Ah! Well pass my compliments onto the parent\schoolmate\priest\circusclown\other who planted the seeds of such compulsion into your head. I almost shed a tear as I admired the cardboard waste packing neatly ordered into pairs and then arranged by colour and size. I almost felt bad taking it home to hang it all on my wall. It was tantamount breaking up the Barnes Collection.

That pesky clown. Colrophobia is no laughing matter.

Well it sure would be a shame to let fancy designs on the vagysil packaging go to waste.

argosy2006

save 188 a week, coz u have moved backed in with your parents and you no longer need to pay rent, plus you five siblings are doing same,
940.00 coming in the house every week, plus ur mom and dad are on benefits too, so its 1400,00 plus,
you all live like kings and never have to work, :P

EarlERizer

CDfm wrote: »

You need to shop at Lidl where you can get drunk for a tenner and 20 cents a race is enough to bet .

Whatcha going to spend the other 100 euro on ? Ya get your rent paid.

I do shop at Lidl,but only for Irish produce (cold meats,fresh veg and such),there are enough "immigrants" sending money home every week without me buying cheap eastern european beer/spirits to boost their coffers,the country is haemorrhaging enough money without me adding to it, and I wouldn't waste my time hanging round a bookies I'd rather have a game of poker

......I'm not renting unfortunately i bought into the whole "have to buy a house" mentality so I'm actually paying a mortgage (yes,on benefits - paying interest only at the mo).

bonerm

WindSock wrote: »

That pesky clown. Colrophobia is no laughing matter.

Well it sure would be a shame to let fancy designs on the vagysil packaging go to waste.

They're the centre-piece of my collection. I'm currently setting aside a box per month that will eventually go to make up a giant collage titled "The Seven Year Itch".

JONJO THE MISER

Play poker until the early hours of the morning, get up for dinner, down to the bookies, pints with a few of the lads and rinse and repeat a few times a week and save up for the monthly session that lasts a week.

WindSock

bonerm wrote: »

They're the centre-piece of my collection. I'm currently setting aside a box per month that will eventually go to make up a giant collage titled "The Seven Year Itch".

It'd be a vag of honour to have an art installation named after my ailments.

Yeah, being on the scratcher. There's nothing like it.