i asked a girl out and she just kept quiet...

baspower

i asked a girl in my class out and she just kept quiet...was it that she didn't hear it...or did she not want to say no at my face?

..sigh...

Saruman

Did you ask her?

cullen5998

baspower wrote: »

i asked a girl in my class out and she just kept quiet...was it that she didn't hear it...or did she not want to say no at my face?

..sigh...

Haha sorry but thats funny:D Unlucky

baspower

she was sitting between me and another friend and i sorta casually said we should go out some time....and there was no response at all...but the other friend was blabbering away so there might be a chance she didn't really hear me asking...

pwd

It means she didn't want to answer.
Take it as "not yes"

baspower

yeah...i guesses so as well....didn't want to push it and be a jerk....just hoping 'not yes' will over time, change to 'yes'....

Thomas_S_Hunterson

baspower wrote:

yeah...i guesses so as well....didn't want to push it and be a jerk....just hoping 'not yes' will over time, change to 'yes'....

http://xkcd.com/513/

xoxyx

Maybe she wasn't sure if she heard you right and she didn't want to jump the gun by accepting just in case you hadn't actually asked her out. Sure no means yes these days anyway!!

Riamfada

Okay well your first problem was that it was probably really loud in the class so here is what you are going to do. Wait for her outside the library late at night (so its quiet and she will be able to hear you), wait until shes somewhere even more quiet like the back car park and then surprise her by jumping out of a bush and going "oh my god a rapist" and then punching the closest randomer to you.

She will be so enamoured with your act of selfless courage that hanky panky will be the order of the evening. If there is no randomer you may just have to improvise.

If anyone else has a better plan, Id love to hear it.

baspower

good one riamfada.....well, it wasnt really loud as not many were in the classroom yet at that time....anyways, i'm taking it quite well...if i get a chance, i'd ask her again. if it's a no, then i'll just move on i guess...i'd rather not end up like that xkcd piece above...that's so pathetic...lol

Riamfada

Listen man, its happened to me more than once. Upwards and onwards.

WeeBushy

Bring in a guitar and spontaneously serenade her in class in front of everyone. Chicks dig that.

On a serious note: chances are she heard and doesn't want to, but if you're not sure, and want to put your mind at rest, try asking her again outside of class.

Possible answers:
"No": well kudos for putting yourself out there and trying, onwards and upwards.
"Yes": sweeeeet, you're in the money

G'luck either way.

Dave!

Depressing story, man

pwd

WeeBushy wrote: »

Bring in a guitar and spontaneously serenade her in class in front of everyone. Chicks dig that.

On a serious note: chances are she heard and doesn't want to, but if you're not sure, and want to put your mind at rest, try asking her again outside of class.

Possible answers:
"No": well kudos for putting yourself out there and trying, onwards and upwards.
"Yes": sweeeeet, you're in the money

G'luck either way.

The problem with that is that she probably did hear, and it would make you seem pushy to ask again right away. The most likely outcome would be "not yes" being replaced with a firm "no". Another possible outcome would be that she tells all her friends stuff that makes you sound stupid.

There's no harm at all in letting a girl know you're interested. It puts you firmly in the correct context, and puts a seed in her mind. If you leave it and dont act awkward or pissed off or anything she'll respect you for it. She might decide she's interested, and it will probably be obvious by her manner if she does. Then you can ask her again.

Zephyr91

Oh that was me. Sorry I didn't answer - I had, er, eaten garlic the night before.

delta_bravo

A little odd to ask someone out while someone was sitting between ye. Perhaps ask the person in the middle did they hear? Next time the two of ye are alone perhaps you should do it, might be a good idea to do it after a lecture rather than before because if she says no that will be a horrific 50 minutes to endure!

Anyway, best of luck. Nothing ventured, nothing earned.

spagboll

that's a ridiculously awkward way to ask a girl out

ask her for a coffee then ask her properly, if she did hear you day one she'll probably dodge the coffee and it won't be too awkward

El Siglo

OP, my advise would be;
Go to coppers on a Thursday night and get yourself a nice Trinners nurse...;)

Davidius

I've never had a girlfriend or spoken to more than 5 women in my lifetime which the internet has taught me makes the best person to dispense advice here. All you have to do is keep asking her out again and again, acting more like a dickhead each time she rejects you. You can alternatively choose to act more and more desperate but that doesn't work for anybody ever.

RandolphEsq

Is there as much sex going on in the library toilets as I think there is?

Riamfada

RandolphEsq wrote: »

Is there as much sex going on in the library toilets as I think there is?

Nope but I hear the library study rooms on a sunday can be fun

Riamfada

baspower wrote: »

i asked a girl in my class out and she just kept quiet...was it that she didn't hear it...or did she not want to say no at my face?

..sigh...

Can I just also ask,have you conversed with the girl before or was this someone you admired from afar? It may have been a better idea to strike up conversation rather than introducing yourself with "do you want to be my girlfriend", or something to that effect.

baspower

Riamfada wrote: »

Can I just also ask,have you conversed with the girl before or was this someone you admired from afar? It may have been a better idea to strike up conversation rather than introducing yourself with "do you want to be my girlfriend", or something to that effect.

thinking back it probably wasnt a great idea to ask her at that moment, especially with that blabbering friend sitting at the other side of her. but it's just that, i get really really nervous when i see her, in fact my heart beat goes up so high i actually had to do some caratid sinus massage(apparently its not really a good idea cause its all dangerous and ****, lol)...

hmm i have talked to her a few times before....and its fair to say i did establish my existence pretty well...but again, the talkings were just a few times, not many.....i have a feeling she didn't really hear me...i'll ask her again sometime after valentine's .....for a coffee, probably outside ucd right? that might be a bit difficult as well as she always seems to be in a hurry right after lectures...lives far or somethin..

Riamfada

baspower wrote: »

thinking back it probably wasnt a great idea to ask her at that moment, especially with that blabbering friend sitting at the other side of her. but it's just that, i get really really nervous when i see her, in fact my heart beat goes up so high i actually had to do some caratid sinus massage(apparently its not really a good idea cause its all dangerous and ****, lol)...

hmm i have talked to her a few times before....and its fair to say i did establish my existence pretty well...but again, the talkings were just a few times, not many.....i have a feeling she didn't really hear me...i'll ask her again sometime after valentine's .....for a coffee, probably outside ucd right? that might be a bit difficult as well as she always seems to be in a hurry right after lectures...lives far or somethin..

Try and join the same club she is into and always beware of teh friend zone! Be sure to consult the graph of action.

RandolphEsq

Riamfada wrote: »

Try and join the same club she is into and always beware of teh friend zone! Be sure to consult the graph of action.

All your years in college and finally you have achieved something

Mardy Bum

baspower wrote: »

thinking back it probably wasnt a great idea to ask her at that moment, especially with that blabbering friend sitting at the other side of her. but it's just that, i get really really nervous when i see her, in fact my heart beat goes up so high i actually had to do some caratid sinus massage(apparently its not really a good idea cause its all dangerous and ****, lol)...

hmm i have talked to her a few times before....and its fair to say i did establish my existence pretty well...but again, the talkings were just a few times, not many.....i have a feeling she didn't really hear me...i'll ask her again sometime after valentine's .....for a coffee, probably outside ucd right? that might be a bit difficult as well as she always seems to be in a hurry right after lectures...lives far or somethin..

This reads like of one of those forever alone picture sequences.

RandolphEsq

Mardy Bum wrote: »

This reads like of one of those forever alone picture sequences.

Dave!

Riamfada

I am truely sorry OP, I can only hope that a mod locks this before people start posting those horrid forever alone pictures.

Profiler

1) Date one of her friends and be the best boyfriend there has ever been, she will see what a great guy you are and realise what an opportunity she missed, yeah! that will teach her, she'll like break up with some guy who treated her like dirt and you'll be the shoulder she cries on and she'll look mournfully at you through tear stained eyes and say "Oh why didn't I say yes to you that time back in UCD in 2011" You 1 Her 0

2) Obsess over her, not in a overt stalker kind of way, but stay friends with her so much so that after she marries, a wedding you get invited to but can't say you can't make because of some really flimsy excuse, but stay good friends with the newly weds so much so that they ask you to become godfather to their 2nd child. At some point in the marriage she'll be upset over something he did (or didn't do) and you'll be the shoulder she cries on and she'll look mournfully at you through tear stained eyes and say "Oh why didn't I say yes to you that time back in UCD in 2011" Her 1 You 1

You win on the away goals rule

Mardy Bum

baspower wrote: »

.i'll ask her again sometime after valentine's .....for a coffee, probably outside ucd right?

I am really sorry. Really.

gypsy_rose

Don't despair OP at least you had the balls to actually ask her out, bet most of the other chicken ****s here wouldn't have the courage to do that. Like other people have said you could try asking her again, I think it would be a good idea to ask for her number then text asking to go out sometime and see how it goes. If it works out, great, if it doesn't, nevermind, she wasn't right for you, at least you tried, just chalk it up to experience

baspower

yea...will do...she did give me her number at the end of that day....wait, wtf???

Saruman

baspower wrote: »

yea...will do...she did give me her number at the end of that day....wait, wtf???

eh

baspower

well she gave me her number only because i said i wanna give her somethin....i didn't think of texting her much over the weekend as i didn't want her to regret giving the number...how'd you know when a girl would be pleased to receive sms from you and when she'd rather not? furthermore, in my case it wasnt like she was waitin to give me her number...

EDIT: i guess the answer to the question i posed above is if i'd never try, i'd never know...

(here's hopin there's not another rock/potato/or whatever that is with the words...she gave her number...i did nothin...lol)

gypsy_rose

would you just ask her OP and put yourself out of your misery!

baspower

yeah yeah ok...the very next chance i get, i'll ask her properly and clearly end it all for once...

dr gonzo

baspower wrote: »

yeah yeah ok...the very next chance i get, i'll ask her properly and clearly end it all for once...

Good luck buddy, its a plaster, better to just rip it off and be done with it for better or worse rather then dwell on what might have been etc.

Good on ya too for taking a chance anyway and on the bright side, if she really was ignoring you because you asked her out that doesnt seem like a person you'd want to go out with anyway.

Keep us in the loop.

baspower

onwards and upwards guys, onwards and upwards

Riamfada

baspower wrote: »

onwards and upwards guys, onwards and upwards

So did she say no?

MacieC

Do you even know this girl personally ? I mean not in a " college buddy " kinda way or " friend of a friend ".


Second, I think she pretended she didn't hear anything so she wouldn't have to hurt your feelings and say " no ". Or maybe she just didn't hear you.

Anyways, in both ways, I think it was an awkward move. There are many ways you can ask a girl out, it just wasn't the right one.

Or you probably freaked her out since she didn't see it coming.
Oh and maybe she was weirded out because you kinda asked her out in front of someone else.

Do you even know if she's seeing someone already ? I'd start with that if I were you.

Oh, I by the way, I wouldn't post such a story on this board, just as a matter of safety and privacy (...) who knows, she might read it or someone you know might do so (i.e : The witness of the scene) That'd be quite embarassing.

Riamfada

MacieC wrote: »

Anyways, in both ways, I think it was an awkward move. There are many ways you can ask a girl out, it just wasn't the right one.

Why cant girls be normal and not go weird when you ask them out? If a random girl or even a classmate asked me out, Id be overjoyed. Unless of course they were pugfugly in which case I would pretend not to hear them

In any case girls get weird when you ask them out,

MacieC

Riamfada wrote: »

Why cant girls be normal and not go weird when you ask them out? If a random girl or even a classmate asked me out, Id be overjoyed. Unless of course they were pugfugly in which case I would pretend not to hear them

In any case girls get weird when you ask them out,

See, girls have a different way of thinking. You guys are too straight forward in your thoughts. You just do or say whatever is on your mind and don't spend hours over-thinking it.
Girls, by definition, are more " internal " in the sense that if you ask one out, she will spend probably 10 hours thinking about it. Why ? I have no idea, it's just a consistant part of a woman's genes (Annoying I know). But usually girls act weird because they think about :
* Where it's gonna lead
* If she likes the person
* What if it's just a waste of time
* What if she likes someone else (in that case just say no)
[Very subjective questionning though]


And so many insignificant questions that guys don't even think about. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but you guys don't think too much. You're like so easy-going like " What's the big deal ? ".

Riamfada

Women are mad.

Riamfada

Ive met a few women in UCD who I liked, then you tell them that you like them and it all goes mental. A quick wear and see how it goes from there, I dont get the big deal.

MacieC

To be honest, this is really not that big of a deal.
It's just that when you ask a girl out, she usually thinks about a long-time perspective whereas a guy doesn't care. Guys are more into the whole " let's see how it goes " things and girls tend to use the " what if what if/when " approach.

The only few time I got asked out, I did actually make a big deal out of it, and at the end of the day, it's not even worth it. That's just useless brain usage.

Riamfada

Yeah but I wouldnt have minded a long term thing! (I appear to be releasing some supressed stuff here, go with it)

baspower

Riamfada wrote: »

Yeah but I wouldnt have minded a long term thing!

exactly...

Riamfada

baspower wrote: »

exactly...

If she has asked the questions rather than assuming the answers in a shower of colder shoulderness then things may have been different.

Forever alone. Not really.

MacieC

I'm just saying this, not all girls take the same approach.

But I believe that girls are less easy going than guys. That's a fact. Why ? There is no real answer to that.

Still, a " date " is always a big deal to a girl, unless she's the kinda girl that would find a new boyfriend every two days. That reminds me of last week, a girl literally spent the 2 hours of the lecture talking about her 1st date with a boy and she kept on analyzing every single word the guy said. Don't even try to understand why. Girls worry way too much.

But yeah, did you finally asked her out or are you still in this limbo ? (author of the thread)

Davidius

The biggest question here is probably "Is it possible to make a practical (deterministic) mathematical model for women's responses to date enquiries?".