Haven't touched a drop in...

hubba

emmabrighton wrote: »

I was the same KaG, except I wouldn't wait for the movie to be over before having a drink... i'd do it before hand... sheesh the amount of movies I saw that I don't remember... what a waste of money

As for no moral fiber... I was always robbing my flatmates booze and topping it up the next day because I couldnt be bothered going to the off-license at 5 to 10 for more booze before it shut...

I think most of us have done things we cringe at now (I certainly have) but you just have to forgive yourself and move on. It serves no purpose to carry the shame around forever. And I think quitting booze demostrates a commitment to a putting an end to this type of behaviour and leading a life of balance and some sort of integrity, being less of a burden on others and more of an asset to the community. That's my lofty aim anyway! :rolleyes:

Amazingfun

hubba wrote: »

I think most of us have done things we cringe at now (I certainly have) but you just have to forgive yourself and move on. It serves no purpose to carry the shame around forever. And I think quitting booze demostrates a commitment to a putting an end to this type of behaviour and leading a life of balance and some sort of integrity, being less of a burden on others and more of an asset to the community. That's my lofty aim anyway! :rolleyes:

It's great if you're able to do it. Forgiving yourself, that is.

AA has an 'amends step', and for me, that was where the 'magic' really began to happen. I didn't want to do it, believe me, but the day came where I saw I had no choice. It really was a bit like " do it or risk drinking again".

Yet, despite myself and all my "me me me me and what about me" thinking....beautiful things came about as a result of cleaning up, or at least being willing to clean up, the messes I had made in the past.
Most beautiful is I haven't drank, or even wanted to, in almost 12 years now.

Like Kag said, this path isn't for everyone, but for those who are finding nothing else is working, I can attest this way certainly does

Ed The Equalizer

quinrea01 wrote: »

Completed 10 completely dry years last November. No going back for me and well done to yourself and all who have succeeded in beating the bottle. By the way, at the risk of pissing off people who seemed to be offended by previous remarks I made some time ago, I will repeat them.....'Stay out of pubs if you are sincere about staying off alcohol...no alco-free beers, orange juices, red lemonade or ANYTHING....The pub atmosphere will drag you back down the slippery slope' Good luck to all and Happy New Year!!

Well I guess I'm going to slip down that slope so... oh dear :rolleyes:

xzanti

Taok wrote: »

Well I guess I'm going to slip down that slope so... oh dear :rolleyes:

The guy is just giving his opinion on the subject.. from his own experience.

No need for the rolleyes we're all here to help each other out.

Ed The Equalizer

xzanti wrote: »

The guy is just giving his opinion on the subject.. from his own experience.

Well it's my opinion that he's preaching.

If it was his experience he would have said "I drank alco-free beers, orange juices, and red lemonades in pubs, and that caused me to start drinking again. Hence I recommend that you don't follow my bad example".

If you're sincere about staying off alcohol, you will quite simply not drink, end of story.

It's actually only if you're not completely sincere, i.e. that you don't trust yourself to have the willpower to not pick up a drink, that you need to follow his advice and stay out of pubs.

Wattle

Taok wrote: »

Well it's my opinion that he's preaching.

If it was his experience he would have said "I drank alco-free beers, orange juices, and red lemonades in pubs, and that caused me to start drinking again. Hence I recommend that you don't follow my bad example".

If you're sincere about staying off alcohol, you will quite simply not drink, end of story.

It's actually only if you're not completely sincere, i.e. that you don't trust yourself to have the willpower to not pick up a drink, that you need to follow his advice and stay out of pubs.

It's really about breaking habits. If it's your habit to go to pubs and drink and it's causing you problems then it's wise to break that habit. I don't go to AA but they will give you that advice and I agree with them on that. The thing is that a lot of people in this forum don't have the willpower to sit in a pub with their mates and not drink especially not in the early stages. If you can manage it yourself then more power to you but for the majority here breaking the pub habit is one of the most crucial things in staying sober.

marienbad

Taok wrote: »

Well it's my opinion that he's preaching.

If it was his experience he would have said "I drank alco-free beers, orange juices, and red lemonades in pubs, and that caused me to start drinking again. Hence I recommend that you don't follow my bad example".

If you're sincere about staying off alcohol, you will quite simply not drink, end of story.

It's actually only if you're not completely sincere, i.e. that you don't trust yourself to have the willpower to not pick up a drink, that you need to follow his advice and stay out of pubs.

You forgot to add ''in your experience''. But to each their own

I was given a piece of advice a long time ago- 'if you keep going into shoe shops you will eventually but something ,even if it is only shoelaces''

Same with pubs ,but as I say to each their own, but I stopped frequenting pubs when I stopped drinking and that was a long time ago now.

stefan idiot jones

I didn't stop going to pubs but didn't frequent them as much as I used to do.

I now only 'use' pubs to have some food and for the atmosphere of a big match. Full time whistle.......gone.

You will know yourself whether you have beaten the booze and ready to enter places or environments like these but until you are 100% why bother putting temptation right under your nose?

And for my ten cents worth, non alcoholic drinks are exactly what you don't need. Stick to cordials and treat yourself to a full fat coke for the sugar rush as Wales steamroll all in front of them.

Sunnyisland

At the begining I stopped going to pubs and all social outings unless it was meal involved, Now I am not to bothered but very seldom stay in them for long,maybe to watch some GAA or soccer etc on tv, then I be gone.

Taok

Taok wrote: »

Well it's my opinion that he's preaching.

If it was his experience he would have said "I drank alco-free beers, orange juices, and red lemonades in pubs, and that caused me to start drinking again. Hence I recommend that you don't follow my bad example".

If you're sincere about staying off alcohol, you will quite simply not drink, end of story.

It's actually only if you're not completely sincere, i.e. that you don't trust yourself to have the willpower to not pick up a drink, that you need to follow his advice and stay out of pubs.

EVERYONE is different though.

I still go to pubs to watch matches, socialize for a few hours or for parties etc. However I don't normally stay long unless I have to. It just isn't my scene anymore. I would have been the one that would be there first and would be leaving last. To me it just feels weird being around my friends when they are completely out of it. It's annoying more then anything.

I see where you are coming from but I respect people that stay out of pubs completely and I can see why they do it. It's not rocket science is it? A majority of people go to the pub to get drunk, if you don't drink it does exclude you in a lot of circumstances and I don't need to explain to someone with a problem with drink how isolation feels.

Dave!

Take it easy please Taok. Let's keep it nice and friendly!

Ed The Equalizer

Dave! wrote: »

Take it easy please Taok. Let's keep it nice and friendly!

Ok, Dave no problem, just let me clarify something.

This post was stickied at the top of this forum:

***No AA or recovery style posting in this forum***http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056109530

Within the last couple of days the sticky has disappeared (possibly after I reported a post that contravened it?)

You also wrote in the charter:

Dave! wrote: »

- No AA or recovery style posting is allowed in this forum

IMPORTANT: We emphasize that this is not a forum where you can discuss alcohol-related problems, addictions or treatments, whether they focus on someone that you know, or yourself. Such posts or threads will be deleted at the discretion of the moderator.

The only posts in this thread that annoy me are those that directly reference AA/recovery stuff, or those that repeat advice that is to be found in AA/recovery program.

Hence the difficulty keeping it nice and friendly

marienbad

Taok wrote: »

Ok, Dave no problem, just let me clarify something.

This post was stickied at the top of this forum:

***No AA or recovery style posting in this forum***http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056109530

Within the last couple of days the sticky has disappeared (possibly after I reported a post that contravened it?)

You also wrote in the charter:



The only posts in this thread that annoy me are those that directly reference AA/recovery stuff, or those that repeat advice that is to be found in AA/recovery program.

Hence the difficulty keeping it nice and friendly

Might I ask ,and meaning no offence,why does such stuff annoy you ?

Ed The Equalizer

marienbad wrote: »

Might I ask ,and meaning no offence,why does such stuff annoy you ?

Yes of course, and no offence taken whatsoever. Likewise I mean no offence with what I write.

I was in AA for a year and a half and while I quite enjoyed it, I couldn't help notice and become very alarmed by the apparently high suicide rate.

It became obvious to me that telling people they are powerless and that only God can help them is a very dangerous idea. If they can't stop drinking they are liable to think that God has abandoned them... and what then?

I researched and discovered www.orange-papers.org, and left AA a few months later, that was more than 3 years ago.

If I had to stop drinking all over again I would love to be able to do so with the help of a thread like this. But due to the repeated mentions of AA I probably would have ended up in meetings.

Hence my agreement with the charter, and conviction that this thread is better without any AA/recovery stuff.

stefan idiot jones

I too have an issue with the AA ideology, but if it works it works.

Myself I am not religious, I do not come from a religious background or family. I have never been christened or force fed any beliefs.

I have posted before that AA worked for my father thirty years ago but when I was going through similar troubles, I honestly don't think thst AA would have been an option for me as I dont think I could have 'bought' into the Higher Power thing.

But I will not criticise it because it has and always will save souls and lives.
I went to a meeting once with a friend who was going through treatment and questioned the councillor about the stigma that you carry around with you for the rest of your days. You are always in recovery.

I personally don't buy it. But then again thanks to the method that thankfully worked for me, I don't and will never have a stigma or be branded an recovering alcoholic.

I just don't drink.

Sorry to go on, but I do take your point on board thst this forum can't discuss recovery but it's hard not to as it's our experience and success that we have to share.

How could I not mention Allen Carrs book or others mention that the Twelve Steps worked for others.
Its a fine line between sharing your experience and steering them through your method.

I'll finish on this, Allen Carrs Easyway To Control Alcohol is a book. It will cost you less than two hours in a pub. It worked fantastically for me and others. If anyone is dubiousror nervous concerning meetings, doctors etc., etc. Just buy the book, read it, it just might save your life.
What has anyone got to lose? If it's not for you then thankfully there are many other avenues available for help, but to just sit there in misery and worry when you can read a book? It's a no brainer.

It is just a book. No stigma, no local meetings where you may bump into faces, no doctors appointments. Order it over the internet if you like, only you needs to know if you are worried of others. Just try it.


Good luck everyone in whichever path you take.

Amazingfun

You know, the last two posters (not Stefan, just a disclaimer ) who've been notably 'annoyed' by AA-members postings, have curiously spent a considerable amount of time in AA themselves. Yet, they claim to have "done it on their own". Right.

Me? I don't care one bit how anyone gets sober, and I've always been careful to point out it's not for everyone.
However: unsubstantiated claims like "the high suicide rate in AA", as well as getting visibly annoyed at those of us who've managed very long term sobriety as a result of membership in it, well, you'll have to expect some pushback.

We're all here because we don't want to drink anymore, and I am not going to tell lies about how that happened for me.

As well as that, I respect the path of those who've found another way that works.

Sunnyisland

Don't know why some people get so upset about others peoples way out of this, it's there choice and if it helps in any way in there struggles what's the harm,everyone to there own it's what ever you feel most comfortable with.


@ Taok every now and again you just pop in here,and it seems just to give out about the AA, We have a nice support group going on here, with people who share the same goals,there is no one way being pushed on anybody here,we are just giving our own opinions on what helped us to help others,that's it.





Ftr I haven't read alan carrs book and I dident use the AA.

xzanti

Don't know about anyone else, but I'd love to see this thread get back on track

Animord

xzanti wrote: »

Don't know about anyone else, but I'd love to see this thread get back on track

I haven't touched a drop in 12 days. I want my weekends back to actually do things rather than sitting round feeling rubbish.

7 days here, this weekend was recharging the batteries, went to the gym this morning, going for a run after work tomorrow. Going into a monday fresh, theres a lot to be said

Sunnyisland

xzanti wrote: »

Don't know about anyone else, but I'd love to see this thread get back on track

Ok I haven't touched a drop in....


Tomorrow the 13th jan I will be five years alcohol free, and I feel great :-)

Animord

It is odd, being the only person who is apparently alive first thing on a Sunday morning. Except people here obviously.

So the house is cleaned to within an inch of its life, the cooking for the week is done. What now?

Sunnyisland

Animord wrote: »

It is odd, being the only person who is apparently alive first thing on a Sunday morning. Except people here obviously.

So the house is cleaned to within an inch of its life, the cooking for the week is done. What now?

What's your plans ? You need to replace your drinking time with some other time, walking,reading,chilling etc etc

Animord

realies wrote: »

What's your plans ? You need to replace your drinking time with some other time, walking,reading,chilling etc etc

Oh, I am fine, thanks for your concern - I have a thousand things to do, but it is such a miserable day that it feels more like a 'sitting by the fire with hot chocolate and a book' day than going out and cleaning up the garden, which is what I had planned.

.

Just to clarify whenever I post about how I handled my own recovery I always say that it worked for me but doesn't work for everyone. I think it is unbelievably self righteous to talk down any method of recovery at all especially in this thread where there are people looking for any bit of hope to staying off the drink. That's the last Ill mention myself on the topic but I just wanted to put that out there

stefan idiot jones

Nine years, One week and Five days.

Off to bed now after a late night at the Gabba watching the cricket with my daughter then a forty mile round trip to pick up the OH from her friends full of wine and sh!t talk. Then in my wisdom watched the game I was at on the tele when we got back.

Dave!

To clarify—people shouldn't be dismissing one recovery method over another, but should be giving their own personal experiences of what has works/worked for them. Apparently there's strong feelings about different methods, so this is the best way to maintain harmony within the forum! If you see otherwise, feel free to report it.

To further clarify—I unstickied the thread about No Recovery Stuff Allowed. For better or worse, this forum has for a long time been a place where people to discuss personal difficulties arising from alcohol use. I told the admins several times that this is the way it has gone, and that if they are not comfortable with the forum serving that purpose then they should close it, because it has never been successful for the purpose it was originally intended for.

No admins have followed up to close the forum. So as long as it's here, I'm not going to stifle discussion of alcoholism, recovery, and the like.

Now please continue!

Sunnyisland

Slainte Dave :-)

Sunnyisland

realies wrote: »

Ok I haven't touched a drop in....


Tomorrow the 13th jan I will be five years alcohol free, and I feel great :-)

I know I posted it yesterday,but today is the five year anniversary of me not taking an alcoholic drink, Not many if any of my friends,relations,family believed me when I said I had enough, and to be fair to them, I wouldent blame them. But I knew, I just knew it, that was it, enough was enough and since then not a drop has passed my mouth, And without being to selfish I can say that it was the best decision of my life. Life at the moment is great.

xzanti

Well done Realies fantastic achievement.. enjoy it