Things that only happen in soap operas

yrwhu8jxtni06a

They go to the pub everyday of the week
Have a fight in full view of everyone
Marriage ends after a month or two.
In the pub,they ask for a "pint".
Turn off tv when someone comes in.
Their loved one might be replaced with a different actor and wont notice the difference.

Quazzie

Babies never grow old.

Kasabian

Welcome to village life

easyeason3

People can die & come back alive a few years later with a perfectly reasonable explanation.

Pherekydes

They sit in the pub waffling to each other about Sharon running off with the milkman despite the fact that a nuke has just been detonated in Central London.

i.e. You never, ever hear about real life stuff in soaps.

Namlub

No-one owns a washing machine

Agricola

People have burning ambitions to work in bars, corner shops.

starviewadams

Majority of the women are hot

Edit:And even the women who aren't supposed to be good looking are strangely attractive!

Helix

Pherekydes wrote: »

i.e. You never, ever hear about real life stuff in soaps.

i think this is down to them being alternate realities tbh

brummytom

People have magic cars that aren't parked anywhere and only appear once in a blue moon

4zn76tysfajdxp

Quazzie wrote: »

Babies never grow old.

Cot death isn't that common in Weatherfield, is it?

yrwhu8jxtni06a

When leaving,you leave in a taxi
Your funeral/wedding/party,people you never seen before stand in the background.
No one gangs up to beat up phil mitchell.

Kasabian

Keith Duffy becomes an actor.

rebel10

After dying, people can appear on the door of a fridge

the purple tin

They never watch the telly.
Babies who grow up to be bad actors or not cute enough are replaced at the drop of a hat.
Everyone has at least one affair per year.

Red Hand

They never set foot outside of their street. Everything happens on the street. Every character will have on average 3.5 affairs, 2 deaths and 4 street based jobs.

cml387

They don't discuss soaps in daily conversation.

"Did you see Eastenders last night Deirdre?"
"No I was watching Mythbusters on Discovery"

yrwhu8jxtni06a

Going on holiday,someone usually turns up.
Immune to the recession.
Have a drink in the pub at lunch time and return sober to do delicate tasks.

Namlub

Everyone returns from holiday with an unrealistic tan, wearing a sombrero and hawaiian shirt

ascanbe

Martha Nutty Penniless wrote: »

They go to the pub everyday of the week
Have a fight in full view of everyone
Marriage ends after a month or two.
In the pub,they ask for a "pint".
Turn off tv when someone comes in.
Their loved one might be replaced with a different actor and wont notice the difference.

This is the one.

cml387

Aeroplanes crash on their village.


Oh,wait.

Trampas

wedding receptions are usually in the local pub.

Colmo52

An actor can change and no one questions the change in the characters appearence!

Monty Burnz

Dispute resolution process finds in favour of poster and against mod...

yrwhu8jxtni06a

Trampas wrote: »

wedding receptions are usually in the local pub.

So are the stags!

Colmo52

Lots of murders happen in one village.

the purple tin

You don't have to ask for a drink in the pub. The barstaff always know what you want as soon as you come in.

Once you move away from the street/square etc. You never return even if a family member or friend is seriously ill or dies at best you might ring them on the phone.

smk89

Pretty much everything they do has sexy results!

yrwhu8jxtni06a

No one suffers cholesterol/heart problems from eating in the local chippy everyday.
Building sites that are never finished.
No one farts in bed.
Police never on time.

Metallergy

soaps are what oul wans enjoy in life, exaggerated theres always some sort of over-eager nattering/flirting/cheating going on like desperate attempts to be involved in a society. the more reserved, quiet ones are always made out to be weirdos, too. why isn't he nattering like a bitch in heat, must be something askew

i know a good few sissynecks settle down to watch soaps on a nightly basis

xoxyx

Nobody ever coughs or sneezes unless they're due to come down with a cold.

Seriously. I sneeze all the time. What crazy immunity does the Corrie gang have??

yrwhu8jxtni06a

Dogs never hump or shíte all over the place.

admiralofthefleet

they go to the pub even though they broadcast the fact that they are on the breadline

tossers in wheelchairs that never shaved once in their life can pull absolute stunners

ollaetta

About two dozen people can live in a small terraced house.
Two people can talk animatedly about a third person who is standing six feet away oblivious to the conversation.
Feuding families always insist on going to the same pub at the same time.
Horrible new families mellow within six months.
You can have a torrid affair with someone from the same few houses and nobody notices.
Previously unheard of family members turn up out of the blue.

Neyite

People with incurable physical disabilities are routinely cured without any medical intervention whatsoever

th3 s1aught3r

Martha Nutty Penniless wrote: »

They go to the pub everyday of the week
Have a fight in full view of everyone
Marriage ends after a month or two.
In the pub,they ask for a "pint".
Turn off tv when someone comes in.
Their loved one might be replaced with a different actor and wont notice the difference.

Soaps are such never-ending drivel. You would want to be mad bored even to watch them

MistyCheese

• You can ask someone "Can I see you in the other room for a moment?" without the most recent person who entered the room ever saying "Is this about me?"
  
  
  
• If you move to another room with someone your conversation will not be overheard, even if there is no door between the rooms and you have only moved six feet from where you originally were.
  
  
  
• Groceries appear as if by magic. Except for biscuits which shall be bought at the local corner shop and paid for with the exact amount only.
  
  
  
• Houses rarely stay vacant for very long, despite said house coming on the market due to murder/multiple murder.
  
  
  
• You can spot an alcoholic a mile off by their refusal to waste valuable glass space with pesky mixers.
  
  
  
• The new guy/gal in town looks strangely like an ex-character from The Bill.
  
  
  
• You can get two drinks and have change from five quid. (This may be English soaps only.)
  
  
  
• Evil identical twins with amnesia. (This may be American soaps only.)

cml387

Empires may fall,terrible wars,terrorist outrages but in the bubble of Soapworld life carries on oblivious.Have you ever seen anyone read a newspaper?

brummytom

cml387 wrote: »

Empires may fall,terrible wars,terrorist outrages but in the bubble of Soapworld life carries on oblivious.Have you ever seen anyone read a newspaper?

Jack Duckworth used to read the paper all the time, didn't he? And Ken Barlow?

Ronin247

They can roide f*ck out of the missus for 10 years and be childless but a 5 minute session of heavy petting with the minger next door and she's up the duff.

Good looking women date poor men.

No matter how ugly/boring the husband he will have 2 affairs per year.

SONIC2008

No two people in a soap have the same first name.

MazG

If you marry your loved one, you're pretty much guaranteed to either be widowed pretty soon, or kick the bucket yourself. The lucky few who escape premature death are rewarded with infidelity.

Father Damo

Despite being located in East London and Manchester nobody cares about football. Or if they do, its a casual "did you see the match last night" quote without naming a team.

The pubs dont have a pool table, and nobody watches football there. I dont get why- Shameless in some ways is almost like a comedy soap and they make regular reference to City, Utd and Liverpool.

Nor do the pubs have live bands or a DJ.

There is no such thing as casual recreational safe drug use. Anyopne who uses coke WILL become an addict. Anyone who drops a pill will either die or end up seriously ill.

Every street has only one resident chronic alcoholic. In reality at least one in four households would have one.

Lockstep

Incredibly ugly men will pull incredibly hot women (Max from Eastenders is quite the ladies man, despite having a face like a smacked arse and a head like a ginger potato)


There's only ever one person with incredibly common names like Joe or Sharon.

You shall not have a merry Christmas. Ever.

You can only work on the show's location. No moving to the city.

You must start each conversation with "Can I have a word?"

Parties are an excuse to throw food and get into fights.

GOing on holiday means a dodgy visit to long lost relatives and/or going to Spain and coming back with a dodgy tan.

Your parents are not your real parents.

Z list actors and 'comedians' are the equivalent of a guest-star.

Noone can ever own a washing machine: you must use the laundrette.

There's no such thing as a succesful marriage.


Misery and sadness can be cured by a cup of tea. Always.

LambsEye

Men like Ian Beale actually seem to attract female humans.

Christmas, New Years, Birthdays, Funerals, Weddings etc are punctuated by absolute tragedy and disaster.

*Home and Away only: Bad things happen in Yabbie Creek.

enfant terrible

cml387 wrote: »

They don't discuss soaps in daily conversation.

"Did you see Eastenders last night Deirdre?"
"No I was watching Mythbusters on Discovery"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaiDjhVyeB0

drBill

Whenever a women has an unwanted pregnancy, morning sickness strikes the very next day after doing the wild thing.

Wurly

No one goes to the jacks.

merlie

There always seems to be a long lost sibling, that has never been heard of before but dramatically turns up on the doorstep or something!

BettePorter

old church going women go into the pubs alone for a sherry daily.

people buy bottles of wine from the pub.

the women who slept with your hubby a few years back will be your best friend and bridesmaid in no time !

mechanics have clean hands and only ever need use of a spanner !

18 ppl can share a three bedroomed house

when selling a business or house, all transactions take only days to go through.

Nothing is rung into tills in shops, rather dropped in the drawer.

a restaurant/ cafe/ bistros kitchen is the size of a broom cupboard and nobody cooks !

Wurly

merlie wrote: »

There always seems to be a long lost sibling, that has never been heard of before but dramatically turns up on the doorstep or something!

Or sometimes, isn't it amazing that someone can look one way one day but then be a completely different person the next? But yet, everyone recognises them, even though they look nothing like what they did the day before.