Really stupid things chefs do!

the beer revolu

Sometimes I think some chefs are just mad.

For example, this morning I ordered porridge in Punch's Hotel, Limerick.
Now, porridge is a pretty personal thing - we all like it differently, some creamier and some thicker - and people put different things on it - butter, cream, sugar, honey, fruit, cinnamon etc. etc.
Personally, I like mine plain made with half milk and half water.
The chef in Punch's, however, decided that I'd like nothing more than powdered chocolate and icing sugar all over the top of my porridge.
WTF WTF WTF!!!!!!

Maybe he's just mad!

Nevyn

I hope you sent it back.

the beer revolu

Thaedydal wrote: »

I hope you sent it back.

I didn't have time:mad:
It was a generous bowl of porrige, though, so I was able to spoon off the offending 'decoration' and still have a decent bowl full.

grandslamsmith

How was the porridge though?

I've worked with chefs who can decorate but that's about all they can do - alarm bells should ring when food looks too dressed or 'oddly' decorative.

Millers Pizza, by the way, on Baggot street present you with a building on their pizza suffice to say they are quiet bad.

Slam

the beer revolu

grandslamsmith wrote: »

How was the porridge though?

Porrige would have been fine if not for the chocolate and sugar - a bit too stodgy for my taste but everyone's different!

scottie pippen

grandslamsmith wrote: »

How was the porridge though?

Millers Pizza, by the way, on Baggot street present you with a building on their pizza suffice to say they are quiet bad.

Slam

did they just pile up what ever they had handy and hope the best?

got a pizza in Franky and Benny's over in the uk, it was chicken a ceaser pizza, the menu listed the toppings, sounded tasty enough - but the menu didn't mention that they would be putting white ceaser salad dressing on it.

It looked like they put half a bottle on it, the pizza was a big slimy mess.

grandslamsmith

My 'Pizza' in Millers had a constructed mound of fried onions peppers and artichoke and as a result (like yours) the pizza itself was a hefty, creaking, oily mess which I sent back and walked out on.

One of the biggest WTF moments in dinning I have ever had. <snip>

Slam

The Hill Billy

Slam - Tone down the lingo please. We could do without such descriptions here.

Thanks,

HB

grandslamsmith

Hill Billy wrote: »

Slam - Tone down the lingo please. We could do without such descriptions here.

Thanks,

HB

You get my point then.

The Hill Billy

My point is that other posters should not have to read descriptions such as the one you posted.

Back on topic.

HB

olaola

I cannot ABIDE crap thrown around the edges of the plate for 'decoration' - like parsely/paprika. ARG.

Eviledna

I don't know if it's a "Heston-fluence" or not, but a couple of times I've been out for dinner and some manner of desert, be it creme brulee or panna cotta has been infiltrated by popping candy. That's right, space dust. I'm all for experimentation, but it just didn't work either time.

Also, will rasperry coulis ever feck off?

neuro-praxis

I like pesto, but not drizzled around my burger, steak or roast chicken. Why chefs are doing this is beyond me. I have taken to saying I am allergic to it.

the beer revolu

Or the one more common in canteen like places:

"I know what would finish that plate off nicely: some green dust that was once parsley!"

On the OP: Email sent to hotel and satisfactorily responded to (I think the chef will get a telling off).

tomcollins97

Why do chefs have to put a 'salad garish' on every dish? Half dead lettuce and grated carrot doesn't go with everything

Acoshla

I ordered roast lamb, mash, veggies, etc in a pub in Galway a while ago, it came out with pesto all around the plate, sliding down into the gravy and veg, I was like wtf? Pesto with roast dinner? I sent it back because it was running down onto the meal and was disgusting, the waiter said the chef used it to garnish EVERY dish, neither of them could understand the concept that it didn't go with the dishes at all.

duploelabs

I'm a chef and have worked in several different styles of restaurants and one thing I cannot abide is where the sauce is smeared so thin on the plate that you cannot get a substantial amount to even taste it

MissFlitworth

+1 for pesto turning up on plates it has no business being on. Same thing with arty dribbles of balsamic vinegar on plates getting all over food it has no business being near. Drop the squirty bottles already!

duploelabs

MissFlitworth wrote: »

+1 for pesto turning up on plates it has no business being on. Same thing with arty dribbles of balsamic vinegar on plates getting all over food it has no business being near. Drop the squirty bottles already!

On that I cant believe chefs are still peddling balsamic reduction, let alone 90% of balsamic vinegar out there is white wine vinegar with caramel colouring despite being labeled Balsamic (next time you're in a shop check the label) and the proper stuff is about €30 minimum for a tiny bottle so if you're to reduce that to the consistency you want, you might as well dust your plates with saffron to really **** with your margins

Miaireland

I can't stand fruit puree all over desserts and some starters.

emeraldstar

neuro-praxis wrote: »

I like pesto, but not drizzled around my burger, steak or roast chicken. Why chefs are doing this is beyond me. I have taken to saying I am allergic to it.

Have to disagree with this one - pesto is really lovely on a burger along with some mozzarella cheese. Yum!


Raspberry coulis is mank though. I always have to scrape it off my dessert

Honey-ec

The flip-side of the "pesto with everything" coin is serving boiled veg as a side with absolutely every main course on a menu. I was once at a wedding where the vegetarian option was spring rolls. "Grand", says I, "I'll have that." Unfortunately, the two spring rolls arrived out on a plate with the same carrots, mash, broccoli and GRAVY as the chicken-or-beef. That chef should seriously have been tied down and burnt in the extremities with his own butane torch.

The Hill Billy

Sorry Honey-ec, but I LOL'ed.

actuallylike

I ordered Mussells in a well to do restaurant a while ago. Was quite surprised when a metal bucket, filled to the top with ice and 4, yes four measly mussels on top. Needless to say I was finished in the time it's taken to read this and yes, I found myself eating the ice

Honey-ec

Hill Billy wrote: »

Sorry Honey-ec, but I LOL'ed.

So did I, before sending it back and asking for a plate of brown bread instead...

nosietoes

I wish the green stuff even was pesto: it is far worse... the dreaded rocket oil made by blitzing up stalks of rocket with oil... and nothing else. It is disgusting, and a horrible kickback to times past. yuech.

Acoshla

Oh yeah and raspberry feckin coulis, with every dessert, things it was never meant to go with, big blobs or lines of the stuff everywhere! When it actually goes with a dessert it's lovely but I don't want raspberry coulis dripping from a Bailey's cheesecake.

the beer revolu

Came across the work of a seriously inept chef in The Rochestown Park Hotel, Cork today.
I ordered a steak sandwich, rare (when I enquired if the burgers were cooked to order, I was told they weren't).
It came well done.
I sent it back and it came out medium.

Either this 'professional' doesn't know what a rare steak is or was unable to cook one, given two goes at it. Unbelievable.

And the oil in which the chips were cooked was past its best!

Total crap

Eviledna

I was in Jalapenos in Quay St Galway on Sunday afternoon. Now I had previously raved about this place but my oh my has it gone downhill.

I was in at about 3pm and ordered their "american breakfast pancakes with fruit".
Envisioned fluffly large buttermilk disks with a sizeable bowl of fruit.

Received three jar-top sized flat burnt salty discs with a tiny serving bowl of tinned fruit salad, which was fizzy. Yes, fizzy. They must have put sherbet or bicarb in the mix to keep it fresh? So less than impressed I asked the waitress for some maple syrup (to try and salvage my lunch).

She replied "The head chef is going to charge you for that, it's extra".

Said ok, rolled eyes at my sis who ordered the same and was similarly dissapointed. Got tiny bowl of maple syrup to share with my sis. Would have sent it back only I knew I'd get sneezers in return. Told them when I was paying that the pancakes were salty, so they benevolently didn't charge me for the syrup.

Won't be returning for salty fizzy burnt pancakes again. Head chef indeed!:rolleyes:

Honey-ec

the beer revolu wrote: »

Either this 'professional' doesn't know what a rare steak is or was unable to cook one, given two goes at it. Unbelievable.

Irish chefs in general are terrible at cooking steak. It's almost inevitably 2-3 stages past what you've asked for. I've bemoaned this here before, and have christened it "Irish rare", which is, in reality, medium.

When I used to eat my steak rare, I ordered it blue in restaurants, and still had to send it back in maybe 8 out of 10 cases. Now that I eat it blue, I just don't order steak in restaurants anymore; it's a complete waste of time.

pickarooney

I think you need to order the steak, then cancel the order the moment the waiter comes back out of the kitchen area, then ask for the cancelled steak.

unkel

Honey-ec wrote: »

Irish chefs in general are terrible at cooking steak. It's almost inevitably 2-3 stages past what you've asked for. I've bemoaned this here before, and have christened it "Irish rare", which is, in reality, medium.

When I used to eat my steak rare, I ordered it blue in restaurants, and still had to send it back in maybe 8 out of 10 cases. Now that I eat it blue, I just don't order steak in restaurants anymore; it's a complete waste of time.

My experience of ordering steak is exactly the same (only in Ireland). I got sick of sending overcooked steaks back in the past.

I like mine properly rare and I always order it blue - making sure to make eye contact with the waiter and stressing it will have to be blue (just about omitting the threat that it will go straight back if it is any more done than that). Nearly always does the trick.

I don't solely blame the chefs though. Most Irish people's perception of how a steak is done seems to be 2 or 3 stages lower than what they are. Show the average person a medium steak and ask what kinda steak it is and most people will say it is rare.

olaola

Eviledna wrote: »

Received three jar-top sized flat burnt salty discs with a tiny serving bowl of tinned fruit salad, which was fizzy. Yes, fizzy. They must have put sherbet or bicarb in the mix to keep it fresh?

It was fizzy as it started to ferment, must have been hanging around a while. Ick!

D1976

unkel wrote: »

My experience of ordering steak is exactly the same (only in Ireland). I got sick of sending overcooked steaks back in the past.

I like mine properly rare and I always order it blue - making sure to make eye contact with the waiter and stressing it will have to be blue (just about omitting the threat that it will go straight back if it is any more done than that). Nearly always does the trick.

I don't solely blame the chefs though. Most Irish people's perception of how a steak is done seems to be 2 or 3 stages lower than what they are. Show the average person a medium steak and ask what kinda steak it is and most people will say it is rare.

Very true but i really get annoyed when you're given the option of how you would like your steak cooked only to have all the steaks cooked the same, what's the f ing point in asking in the first place.

Plus restaurants seriously need to get rid of the giant peppermills, they look absolutely ridiculous.

Malari

D1976 wrote: »

Very true but i really get annoyed when you're given the option of how you would like your steak cooked only to have all the steaks cooked the same, what's the f ing point in asking in the first place.

Plus restaurants seriously need to get rid of the giant peppermills, they look absolutely ridiculous.

This is because they must be handled by trained professionals only, and it's easier for the waiting staff to reach the plates when they have giant peppermills.

Just give me the goddamn pepper mill, I can do it myself!! :mad:

BaZmO*

I would've imagine that the large pepper mill thing was to stop people from stealing them?

Honey-ec

unkel wrote: »

I don't solely blame the chefs though. Most Irish people's perception of how a steak is done seems to be 2 or 3 stages lower than what they are.

I did used to give them the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to this, but it's 2011, not 1998, I don't think this flies anymore. Plus, if they were hedging their bets, you'd think they'd undercook it; at least that way they can put it back on the pan if the customer sends it back...

The day I stopped ordering steak was in the Unicorn. I ordered it blue, from a FRENCH waiter and it came out medium-rare. I sent it back, and did the whole eye-contact "I want it, really, really blue" thing. When the second steak came out, it was still only rare. There was no way I was sending it back again and at that stage, all my dining companions had finished, so I just ate the chips and left it at that.

For what it's worth, my method for cooking at home is:

1) Take an 8oz fillet out of the fridge at least 45 minutes before you want to cook it (Aldi's Irish Angus fillets are excellent, believe it or not).

2) Brush each side of the steak with oil and season with equal parts maldon salt, pepper & garlic granules, pressing down slightly to make the seasoning stick.

4) Warm a plate in a low/medium oven

3) Heat a good, heavy pan over the highest heat you have until the pan is smoking. I can't stress enough how hot this needs to be - you shouldn't be able to hold your palm over the pan for more than about three seconds.

4) Slap the steak onto the pan and seal for 90 seconds. Repeat on the opposite side. You can stand on its side to do the edges, if you want, but I don't bother.

5) Take your warmed plate out of the oven and allow the steak to rest on it for about 10 minutes. I usually use this time to make whatever sauce I'm planning to have with it.

6) Drizzle over the sauce and plate up whatever sides you're having with it. Commence nomming.

Miaireland

Sprinkle Corrinader over things as decoration. I hate the stuff and always avoid anything I would think that it would be in.

Today I ordered chicken liver pate and it was sprinkled all over it. Why?

D1976

Honey-ec wrote: »

I did used to give them the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to this, but it's 2011, not 1998, I don't think this flies anymore. Plus, if they were hedging their bets, you'd think they'd undercook it; at least that way they can put it back on the pan if the customer sends it back...

The day I stopped ordering steak was in the Unicorn. I ordered it blue, from a FRENCH waiter and it came out medium-rare. I sent it back, and did the whole eye-contact "I want it, really, really blue" thing. When the second steak came out, it was still only rare. There was no way I was sending it back again and at that stage, all my dining companions had finished, so I just ate the chips and left it at that.

For what it's worth, my method for cooking at home is:

1) Take an 8oz fillet out of the fridge at least 45 minutes before you want to cook it (Aldi's Irish Angus fillets are excellent, believe it or not).

2) Brush each side of the steak with oil and season with equal parts maldon salt, pepper & garlic granules, pressing down slightly to make the seasoning stick.

4) Warm a plate in a low/medium oven

3) Heat a good, heavy pan over the highest heat you have until the pan is smoking. I can't stress enough how hot this needs to be - you shouldn't be able to hold your palm over the pan for more than about three seconds.

4) Slap the steak onto the pan and seal for 90 seconds. Repeat on the opposite side. You can stand on its side to do the edges, if you want, but I don't bother.

5) Take your warmed plate out of the oven and allow the steak to rest on it for about 10 minutes. I usually use this time to make whatever sauce I'm planning to have with it.

6) Drizzle over the sauce and plate up whatever sides you're having with it. Commence nomming.

Sounds amazing I'd eat one now, the Irish Angus Rib Eye Steaks in Aldi are possibly the nicest steaks I have ever had. Try coating the steak in worcestershire sauce before you fry it next time, it's amazing with steak.

duploelabs

BaZmO* wrote: »

I would've imagine that the large pepper mill thing was to stop people from stealing them?

either that or the manager/interior designer is a bloke and unsure about himself

jassha

olaola wrote: »

It was fizzy as it started to ferment, must have been hanging around a while. Ick!

have seen white lemonade being added to fruit cocktail to fizz it up

Seaneh

Unless you go to a very good restaurant, odds are they won't cook the steak properly.

Every kitchen in Ireland should have an A4 sized poster of this hanging above whatever part of the kitchen they cook they mains at.
Captions edited to Irish terms, obviously.




I have paid through the nose for **** steak in this country, and sending it back very rarely makes a blind bit of difference.


Other things that annoy me, POINTLESS GARNISH.

It should not be on the damned plate if it isn't meant to be eaten or does not go with the meal.

Seaneh

jassha wrote: »

have seen white lemonade being added to fruit cocktail to fizz it up

I'd imagine that's what it was.

If it was fermenting, you'd have known, it would have stank and tasted foul.

Lornen

Mint used a garnish on every flavour of ice cream served and nearly every dessert for that matter..

If it's not there to be eaten or if does absolutely nothing to compliment the dish it's on and it's only job is to make it look "more appealing" don't put it on my plate!

Eviledna

jassha wrote: »

have seen white lemonade being added to fruit cocktail to fizz it up

God I hope you are right...but I think the dose I had afterwards would denote fermentation :mad::(

Little Alex

For me it has to be imagining that everyone thinks that Thai sweet chilli sauce is really great.

About a year ago I got "spicy chicken wings" which turned out to be anaemic-looking wings drenched in Thai sweet chilli. Having had a year to recover I can say that was the most dreadful thing I have ever had served to me while out.

No more Thai sweet chilli please! I am hoping that in years to come it will be regarded as the Blue Nun of this decade. Thai food has many, many delicious flavours to offer and sweet chilli ain't close to being the best of them.

That porridge sounds awful, beer revolu.

Lornen

Little Alex wrote: »

For me it has to be imagining that everyone thinks that Thai sweet chilli sauce is really great.

About a year ago I got "spicy chicken wings" which turned out to be anaemic-looking wings drenched in Thai sweet chilli. Having had a year to recover I can say that was the most dreadful thing I have ever had served to me while out.

No more Thai sweet chilli please! I am hoping that in years to come it will be regarded as the Blue Nun of this decade. Thai food has many, many delicious flavours to offer and sweet chilli ain't close to being the best of them.

That porridge sounds awful, beer revolu.

Oh my GOD. Another normal human! I absolutely hate when people mistake sweet chilli sauce for actual HOT chilli sauce.. I think the worst one I ever got was "Spicy tomato chutney" coming out as sweet chilli sauce.. How is that even POSSIBLE?!

Most chinese restuarants do this, where they say "shredded chilli chicken" and you expect heat, but instead you get a sick stomach and a cavity!

Minder

Little Alex wrote: »

For me it has to be imagining that everyone thinks that Thai sweet chilli sauce is really great.

+1

I was served a frankfurter in Cafe Rouge in Richmond on Thames - the dish described Toulouse Sausages. The French waiter fronted me over it asking me if I had Toulouse Sausages before. WTF? He got to me so much I asked him he would like to discuss it outside. He back down suddenly and asked me if I would accept a complimentary drink. I accepted and followed him to the bar where I spotted the XO brandy. He looked a little less smug as he poured me a large one of those.

Does anyone ever send wine back? Not because it's corked, but because it's vinegar? I've asked waiters to take wine back and bring me the wine list again because the wine served bears no resemblance to the description on the wine menu. Started doing that in Tesco too. I bought an expensive Barolo recently. Label describes warm, smoky and rich, with earthy damson and cherry notes and a savoury edge and loads of chocolate. Intense and rounded with a lovely juicy palate that holds blackberry and violet notes. What I get is Sarsons malt vinegar. I leave it to breathe. Still Sarsons. I decant it. Sarsons. I give up and open something else. I rebottle it the next day take it back, but not before tasting it again. Yep - Sarsons. Tesco took it back after I pushed a little...

Lornen

Minder wrote: »

+1

I was served a frankfurter in Cafe Rouge in Richmond on Thames - the dish described Toulouse Sausages. The French waiter fronted me over it asking me if I had Toulouse Sausages before. WTF? He got to me so much I asked him he would like to discuss it outside. He back down suddenly and asked me if I would accept a complimentary drink. I accepted and followed him to the bar where I spotted the XO brandy. He looked a little less smug as he poured me a large one of those.

Does anyone ever send wine back? Not because it's corked, but because it's vinegar? I've asked waiters to take wine back and bring me the wine list again because the wine served bears no resemblance to the description on the wine menu. Started doing that in Tesco too. I bought an expensive Barolo recently. Label describes warm, smoky and rich, with earthy damson and cherry notes and a savoury edge and loads of chocolate. Intense and rounded with a lovely juicy palate that holds blackberry and violet notes. What I get is Sarsons malt vinegar. I leave it to breathe. Still Sarsons. I decant it. Sarsons. I give up and open something else. I rebottle it the next day take it back, but not before tasting it again. Yep - Sarsons. Tesco took it back after I pushed a little...

I could imagine it to be rather difficult to send back wine or bring one back to the shop unless you have a vast knowledge of wines and all that.
Atleast you know what's what and you can stand up for yourself! I can just see you ranting at a greasey teenager about blackberry and violet notes. :pac:

Minder

Lornen wrote: »

I could imagine it to be rather difficult to send back wine or bring one back to the shop unless you have a vast knowledge of wines and all that.

Its much simpler than that. A label has a description - all poetic language and evocative notions enticing me to try the wine. Sometimes the wine just doesn't live up to the billing. If it isn't remotely palatable, if its sour, then I think the supermarket should be told. It takes just a bit of front. I took the Barolo back. The duty manager (who was by no means a greasy teenager) asked me was it corked. I said no, but it doesn't taste good - it isn't as described on the label. (Unless she is a wine expert, she has no more knowledge of a good Barolo than I have). So she is at a disadvantage - front me and say I know SWF about wine or refund me the price. Busy shop, will I kick off, who buys an expensive wine and returns it? So I get a refund. Thing is, if enough people return the mislabelled Sarsons, maybe the likes of Tesco will start selling Barolo that tastes of Barolo.

the beer revolu

the beer revolu wrote: »

Came across the work of a seriously inept chef in The Rochestown Park Hotel, Cork today.
I ordered a steak sandwich, rare (when I enquired if the burgers were cooked to order, I was told they weren't).
It came well done.
I sent it back and it came out medium.

Either this 'professional' doesn't know what a rare steak is or was unable to cook one, given two goes at it. Unbelievable.

And the oil in which the chips were cooked was past its best!

Total crap

I sent an email to the hotel.
12 day's later, still no reply:(
I've resent.