Fat friends?

WaltKowalski

Further to "Lets talk about weight in partners" thread - let's talk about weight in friends.

I'm overweight and I don't like it and am working on not being so.
I'm also the only fatty among my group of friends.

I came to a realisation today. They don't take photos of me with them!
All the usual facebook craic of nights out over xmas, weddings, hens - all the usual social stuff. Photos showing groups of people that don't include me!

Not only am I not attractive to the opposite sex - it would seem that I'm not attractive to my friends!

MagicMarker

Do you normally suffer from paranoia?

WaltKowalski

It's not paranoia if everyone's after you!

Genuinely, I'm very rarely asked to be in a photo. And any photo I'm in is not posted on fb.

Sibylla

WaltKowalski wrote: »

It's not paranoia if everyone's after you!

Genuinely, I'm very rarely asked to be in a photo. And any photo I'm in is not posted on fb.

That's funny actually, I've noticed the opposite effect among friends, They rarely want to be photographed with the most attractive girl in the group.

Goldenegg

WaltKowalski wrote: »

It's not paranoia if everyone's after you!

Genuinely, I'm very rarely asked to be in a photo. And any photo I'm in is not posted on fb.

Well then they don't sound like your friends! Genuine friends wouldn't do that!

obliviousgrudge

WaltKowalski wrote: »

Further to "Lets talk about weight in partners" thread - let's talk about weight in friends.

I'm overweight and I don't like it and am working on not being so.
I'm also the only fatty among my group of friends.

I came to a realisation today. They don't take photos of me with them!
All the usual facebook craic of nights out over xmas, weddings, hens - all the usual social stuff. Photos showing groups of people that don't include me!

Not only am I not attractive to the opposite sex - it would seem that I'm not attractive to my friends!

Have you asked every male on the planet?
Obviously you're going to be attractive to some people.
Lots of guys like BBWs

Devia

It might be you being paranoid then again it might not. It wouldn't surprise me that a girls would be so shallow as I've seen similar behavior towards others in the past.

jubella

Could it also be that you avoid photos because you don't think you look as well as them? I have a friend that does that, and she complains that there are no nice pictures of her, but there are almost no pictures of her in the first place.

WaltKowalski

jubella wrote: »

Could it also be that you avoid photos because you don't think you look as well as them? I have a friend that does that, and she complains that there are no nice pictures of her, but there are almost no pictures of her in the first place.

I don't like photos but I do stand in for them. I do look like an ogre compared to my mates. I'm not mad with them or upset with them about it. I just noticed today that it's the way it is!

WaltKowalski

emmetmcl wrote: »

Have you asked every male on the planet?
Obviously you're going to be attractive to some people.
Lots of guys like BBWs

I'm a darwinian - survival of the fittest. And I'm not fit!

Rockery Woman

Why not ask a close friend why pictures featuring you aren't being posted?

If you have a few pictures of yourself with your friends why not up-load them onto facebook and tag yourself? That should give them the hint!

WaltKowalski

I don't have a problem with them not being posted - i prefer that they're not.
I was just making an observation!

projectgtr

WaltKowalski wrote: »

I don't like photos but I do stand in for them. I do look like an ogre compared to my mates. I'm not mad with them or upset with them about it. I just noticed today that it's the way it is!

Could be a subconscious thing, i doubt if they are your real friends that this is happening. Also you need to be a little less harsh on your self, as a guy attitude has alot to do with how sexy/attractive a girl is.

If you feel your over weight and want to do something about it thats fine, but you need to stop beating yourself up, i know its a major cliche but you need to love yourself..............you know the rest. Cheer up have fun, lose your weight(properly) and get back out there. Enjoy life


Ooooooops didnt realise i was in the ladies section, just clicked on new posts, eemmmmmm ****** runs for the door ****

WaltKowalski

projectgtr wrote: »

Could be a subconscious thing, i doubt if they are your real friends that this is happening. Also you need to be a little less harsh on your self, as a guy attitude has alot to do with how sexy/attractive a girl is.

If you feel your over weight and want to do something about it thats fine, but you need to stop beating yourself up, i know its a major cliche but you need to love yourself..............you know the rest. Cheer up have fun, lose your weight(properly) and get back out there. Enjoy life


Ooooooops didnt realise i was in the ladies section, just clicked on new posts, eemmmmmm ****** runs for the door ****

Wow - deep! I'm not beating myself up about anything - I'm just realistic.

projectgtr

WaltKowalski wrote: »

Wow - deep! I'm not beating myself up about anything - I'm just realistic.

Im sorry to say it but using words like this sounds like your beating yourself up to me.

"I'm overweight" "I'm also the only fatty among my group of friends."
"Not only am I not attractive to the opposite sex......"

Look i honestly doubt if they are your friends they would be consciously doing this, would you consider them good friends??

Lia_lia

This makes no sense. Why would people not pose for a photo with someone because they are overweight What difference does make to being in seen in a photo with someone?

I, personally, am I complete bitch when it comes to weight. More of a health thing really. I could never let myself get overweight/go out with someone that is overweight/understand how people let themselves get overweight. But I don't judge people as a person...or err not take a photo of someone because they are overweight! Do I sound like I'm contradicting myself? Whatever.

Anyway point being..that is ridiculous and you are probably being paranoid because I don't think anybody, especially a friend, is really like that.

Devia

Lia_lia wrote: »

This makes no sense. Why would people not pose for a photo with someone because they are overweight What difference does make to being in seen in a photo with someone?

Is it so hard to believe that this superficial facebook generation might actually care about their image more than one of their peers?

Dr_Phil

WaltKowalski wrote: »

I came to a realisation today. They don't take photos of me with them!

Have you considered that if they take a photo of you there simply may be no space left for anyone else to fit into the frame?

Chucky the tree

Would being photographed next to a fat girl not look be more appealing so they look even better?

Lia_lia

Devia wrote: »

Is it so hard to believe that this superficial facebook generation might actually care about their image more than one of their peers?

Well, yeah.

Larianne

WaltKowalski wrote: »

I don't like photos but I do stand in for them. I do look like an ogre compared to my mates. I'm not mad with them or upset with them about it. I just noticed today that it's the way it is!

Maybe you don't take very nice pictures and thus your friends don't stick them up. Nothing to do with your weight but that it might not be a good photo of you and as friends, they don't want to put up an unflattering photo of you?

Keep going with the weight loss though. I used to be over weight myself. Your confidence will grow ten times over when you lose weight and can buy nice clothes for yourself. Don't give up!

projectgtr

Dr_Phil wrote: »

Have you considered that if they take a photo of you there simply may be no space left for anyone else to fit into the frame?

not funny bro :rolleyes:

Devia wrote: »

Is it so hard to believe that this superficial facebook generation might actually care about their image more than one of their peers?

i really doubt it, id say it mostly in the OP`s head if im going to be totally honest

WaltKowalski

Larianne wrote: »

Maybe you don't take very nice pictures and thus your friends don't stick them up. Nothing to do with your weight but that it might not be a good photo of you and as friends, they don't want to put up an unflattering photo of you?

That could be it - makes sense.

projectgtr wrote: »

not funny bro :rolleyes:
i really doubt it, id say it mostly in the OP`s head if im going to be totally honest

I thought that was funny!
And it's def not in my head! Looked through hundreds of photos today and I'm not in any of them!

Im sorry to say it but using words like this sounds like your beating yourself up to me.

"I'm overweight" "I'm also the only fatty among my group of friends."

But I am fat - and all my friends aren't...

Devia

projectgtr wrote: »

i really doubt it, id say it mostly in the OP`s head if im going to be totally honest

Could well be but I wouldn't be surprised if she was right either. People are like that.

Ickle Magoo

Dr_Phil wrote: »

Have you considered that if they take a photo of you there simply may be no space left for anyone else to fit into the frame?

Despite the OP appreciating your humour in this particular instance - this isn't the appropriate place or forum for those kind of quips.

Many thanks.

projectgtr

look i dont know what to say tbh , what do you want to achieve by this thread?? do you want people just to agree with you? do you want people say, right they arent your friends??

obliviousgrudge

Dr_Phil wrote: »

Have you considered that if they take a photo of you there simply may be no space left for anyone else to fit into the frame?

Not funny.

pow wow

WaltKowalski wrote: »

I'm overweight and I don't like it and am working on not being so.
I'm also the only fatty among my group of friends.

I came to a realisation today. They don't take photos of me with them!
All the usual facebook craic of nights out over xmas, weddings, hens - all the usual social stuff. Photos showing groups of people that don't include me!

Not only am I not attractive to the opposite sex - it would seem that I'm not attractive to my friends!

Do your friends know you "don't like it"? If so that might be the reason they don't seem to include you in photos...? You could try asking them?

I was very overweight until a few years ago and I am glad facebook wasn't around then - though there are few if any photos of me around from that time in my life! People, both guys and girls, can be very cruel!

kiwi123

Maybe I am unrealistic,but I do not think most people wouldnt get in a photo with you becasue of your weight.
I like to think the previous poster is right and it could be because they know you don't like photos.

I know that when we're on nights out, if somebody takes out a camera, there will literally be photos taken beside even the dogs on the street with a smile and a thumbs up not to mention the amount of photos takenwith randomers!

Perhaps op you are reading into too much

Stheno

jubella wrote: »

Could it also be that you avoid photos because you don't think you look as well as them? I have a friend that does that, and she complains that there are no nice pictures of her, but there are almost no pictures of her in the first place.

Larianne wrote: »

Maybe you don't take very nice pictures and thus your friends don't stick them up. Nothing to do with your weight but that it might not be a good photo of you and as friends, they don't want to put up an unflattering photo of you?

I'd ignore the issue and ask yourself either of the above questions, I am not photogenic and hate seeing myself in photos, in one instance I slid under a table in a restaurant completely sober with 12 odd friends there to avoid my photo being taken.

I think in the past ten years there are maybe four pictures of me about, they are on facebook but not tagged, I simply hate photos of me and how I look.

Now I'm a size 10-12 so it's nought to do with weight, even as a child I was hideous in photos, my parents got my confirmation photos free as they turned out so bad

I can laugh about it now years later but it's not very nice.

I do have one or two nice photos from over the years that I do cherish, but I've a real phobia about photos.

Good luck

Emme

Dr_Phil wrote: »

Have you considered that if they take a photo of you there simply may be no space left for anyone else to fit into the frame?

:rolleyes: that's hysterically funny....NOT!!!

OP, don't mind silly comments like that one. Weight shouldn't have anything to do with it. Do they include you in everything else? Maybe you look uncomfortable in photos if you're self-conscious about your weight. If they don't include you in other things you should look for other friends.

Chuchoter

I'd say whats much more likely is you make it clear you don't like how you look so people don't want to force you into pictures. I've one friend who is obviously really, really self conscious about how she looks and like if she wants to get in the picture she can but I'm not going to put her on the spot. I have another friend who does go on at her to get in the photo and it just comes off as patronizing and annoying.

poppyvalley

Dr_Phil wrote: »

Have you considered that if they take a photo of you there simply may be no space left for anyone else to fit into the frame?

this indicates a bad photographer

christina_x

Dr_Phil wrote: »

Have you considered that if they take a photo of you there simply may be no space left for anyone else to fit into the frame?

Wow, harsh. It's not AH...:o

mariebeth

Hey OP, is there any chance that in the past you've maybe given off the vibe that you don't like or want to be in pictures because you just don't like having your picture taken? Your friends might just feel that you don't want to get your picture taken, so they're not going to embarrass you by dragging you into pictures.

If that's not the case, why don't you just take your own camera out the next night and make a point of getting people into pictures with you?

projectgtr

mariebeth wrote: »

Hey OP, is there any chance that in the past you've maybe given off the vibe that you don't like or want to be in pictures because you just don't like having your picture taken? Your friends might just feel that you don't want to get your picture taken, so they're not going to embarrass you by dragging you into pictures.

the words nail and head come to mind, id bet 100% thats what it is. Jesus id hate to be a girl, you women and your vibes, if it were men we would just talk about it, and by talk about i mean have pints

off.the.walls

Personally i like a girl with some cushion for a bitta pushing. I was going out with a health freak once and cuddling up and all felt like i was cuddling up to a bag of bones it was disgusting!!

LegacyUser

WaltKowalski wrote: »

Genuinely, I'm very rarely asked to be in a photo. And any photo I'm in is not posted on fb.

One of my friends is fairly big, maybe a size twenty ... an absolutely gorgeous girl, by the way. But she's very self-conscious about her looks, and particularly about her weight. Anytime we try to get her into a photo, she begs us not to and does her best to hide behind people ... so now, I wouldn't really ask her to get in one, as I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

And if I take a photo of her or indeed of any of my friends, where they look fat, or have their eyes closed and mouth open, or have a double chin, or are just looking like crap, or whatever, I don't put it up on Facebook because I'm just not mean like that! And because I'd hate it if someone did that to me (and it's happened plenty of times.)

And yes, if you are fat, it's more likely that you'll look fat in pictures and therefore it's more likely that your friends, out of niceness, will choose not to put a photo that they know you'll hate up on Facebook. I'm not trying to be harsh or nasty or anything! Some people are just more photogenic than others, and no one wants horrible photos of themselves posted up and tagged on Facebook. If your friends choose not to put up photos of you, chances are it's out of sympathy and niceness - no weird ulterior motives.

WaltKowalski

projectgtr wrote: »

look i dont know what to say tbh , what do you want to achieve by this thread?? do you want people just to agree with you? do you want people say, right they arent your friends??

I didn't want to achieve anything - I was just making an observation!

Hey OP, is there any chance that in the past you've maybe given off the vibe that you don't like or want to be in pictures because you just don't like having your picture taken? Your friends might just feel that you don't want to get your picture taken, so they're not going to embarrass you by dragging you into pictures.

That's probably it alright.

Thanks for all the replies.