Change your ways

telboy

As a devoted Catholic all my life, I feel it is my duty to convert you non-believers before you burn in Hell for all eternity. I beg of you to abandon your devilish ways and achieve inner peace through the wonder of God.

In this New Year, let it be a new beginning for your souls. Allow the almighty Father to protect you from any danger and cleanse your soul through Confession. Athiests are just afraid to make themselves vulnerable. I ask of you to let go of that fear and obey the ever loving God.

Say a prayer for a loved one for this coming yesr. Recite the rosary each evening. Pray for forgiveness for disobeying God. Please change your ways.

God be with you.

liah

Is this a trolling thread?

AnonymousPrime

good luck with that

Max Power1

piss off and go bother some kids. You lot seem good at that.

Im off to worship the all powerful teapot that i "believe" is located on the rings of saturn.

telboy

Please don't mock this thread. Allow God's love to enter your souls. Do not be afraid.

MagicMarker

Comer1

Aah Telboy, that post is just pathetic!:(

Wedgie

Okay, I'm converted.

Now what do I do?

Zon

Poor effort. Register a new account and try again in a few weeks time, your post is too intelligent.

Max Power1

telboy wrote: »

Please don't mock this thread. Allow God's love to enter your souls. Do not be afraid.

Is that what you say to all the little boys?

liamw

Poor trolling attempt

Pushtrak

Internet. Serious business.

strobe

telboy wrote: »

As a devoted Catholic all my life, I feel it is my duty to convert you non-believers before you burn in Hell for all eternity. I beg of you to abandon your devilish ways and achieve inner peace through the wonder of God.

In this New Year, let it be a new beginning for your souls. Allow the almighty Father to protect you from any danger and cleanse your soul through Confession. Athiests are just afraid to make themselves vulnerable. I ask of you to let go of that fear and obey the ever loving God.

Say a prayer for a loved one for this coming yesr. Recite the rosary each evening. Pray for forgiveness for disobeying God. Please change your ways.

God be with you.

You know, nobody has ever really put it like that to me before. My....my heart.......it's, it's growing. Ohh joy, joy and salutations. Telboy, you have shown me the way. Hallelujah brother, hallelujah. I am reborn today. Onward Christian soldiers, onward with God. Praise His name, praise Him I say......


























Wait.....wait......No. My mistake. It was just indigestion. Well, that's babies for ye, delicious but you sure pay for it the next day.

OpenYourEyes

Ok, since you asked so nicely and all!

smcgiff

AnonymousPrime wrote: »

good luck with that

To be fair at least they were polite. Few hundred years ago he'd be putting a roasting hot poker up your bum.

Sea Sharp

My anus is the centre of the universe and should be worshipped or you'll burn in hell.

Allow the almighty Anus to protect you from any danger and cleanse your soul through Confession. Athiests are just afraid to make themselves vulnerable. I ask of you to let go of that fear and obey the ever loving Anus.

krudler

Ah this is poor trolling, you should at least try convince us you're a catholic who doesnt believe in catholic teachings, or know a guy who can talk to angels, you know the good crazy stuff.

mmm, delicious babies.

telboy

I have done all I can. If this thread made even one person change their view then it has been a successs.
On another point, does it make you feel more intelligent not to believe in God, because Stephen Hawking is a believer.
Also, do you believe in Jesus? It is a FACT that he existed. So if the Son of God existed, surely God did too.

smcgiff

telboy wrote: »

On another point, does it make you feel more intelligent not to believe in God, because Stephen Hawking does.

In one post the OP restores my faith and jumps straight into the trolling premiership

Zon

Taltos

smcgiff wrote: »

To be fair at least they were polite. Few hundred years ago he'd be putting a roasting hot poker up your bum.

And 20 yrs ago they used something a bit more close to home...
Praise the little children...

strobe

telboy wrote: »

On another point, does it make you feel more intelligent not to believe in God, because Stephen Hawking is a believer.

Well there you have it people. Believing in god causes neuro-muscular dystrophy. We really dodged a bullet there.

Dave!

telboy wrote: »

Please don't mock this thread. Allow God's love to enter your souls. Do not be afraid.

Didn't the church get in trouble for that fairly recently?

Oh you said souls...

bnt

telboy wrote: »

I have done all I can. If this thread made even one person change their view then it has been a successs.
On another point, does it make you feel more intelligent not to believe in God, because Stephen Hawking is a believer.
Also, do you believe in Jesus? It is a FACT that he existed. So if the Son of God existed, surely God did too.

Pics or GTFO.

...


Hang on ... what forum is this? Thought I'd strayed in to After Hours again ... :cool:

And no, Hawking is not a believer, that was just a nod to Albert Einstein - who also referred to "God" to make an academic point without being a believer himself.

housetypeb

telboy wrote: »

As a devoted Catholic all my life, I feel it is my duty to convert you non-believers before you burn in Hell for all eternity.

Go ahead, convert us .
We'll try not to laugh too much at you -but remember your duty and ignore the laughter if you love god as much as you claim.
Now, how do you know god exists?

(Boys-we got us a live one!!!!! lets enjoy him.)

Galvasean

telboy wrote: »

I have done all I can.

Really? Wow. That's pretty pathetic.

GLaDOS

threeleggedhors

telboy wrote: »

I have done all I can. If this thread made even one person change their view then it has been a successs.
On another point, does it make you feel more intelligent not to believe in God, because Stephen Hawking is a believer.
Also, do you believe in Jesus? It is a FACT that he existed. So if the Son of God existed, surely God did too.

Yes i feel like a God because I don't believe in one...:D

Our man in Havana

telboy wrote: »

I have done all I can. If this thread made even one person change their view then it has been a successs.
On another point, does it make you feel more intelligent not to believe in God, because Stephen Hawking is a believer.
Also, do you believe in Jesus? It is a FACT that he existed. So if the Son of God existed, surely God did too.

Can you show me a birth cert for this jesus character?

fatmammycat

You've done all you can?

Phew, for a moment there I was worried that I might have been wrong all these years. I can relax now and go turn that baby on the spit before it gets over done.

Marcus.Aurelius

To quote Hitchens, aren't you part of that church with the motto "No child's behind left"?

Pass.

5uspect

Dear Mods,
Can we keep this one?
We promise to feed it regularly this time, not like last time. They're just so yummy.
Sincerely,
Kevin

Wedgie

Is he gone already?

He didn't tell me who to give all of my money to. He didn't even ask for the deeds to my house.

I'm disappointed, very disappointed.

MrPudding

telboy wrote: »

God be with you.

I have to say, fcuk your stupid god and the child rape facilitating cnut of a pope you rode in on.

MrP

Galvasean

MrPudding wrote: »

I have to say, fcuk your stupid god and the child rape facilitating cnut of a pope you rode in on.
MrP

In Vatican State Pope rides you!!!! :pac:

GLaDOS

Haddockman wrote: »

Can you show me a birth cert for this jesus character?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Navas

Comer1

telboy wrote: »

I have done all I can. If this thread made even one person change their view then it has been a successs.
On another point, does it make you feel more intelligent not to believe in God, because Stephen Hawking is a believer.
Also, do you believe in Jesus? It is a FACT that he existed. So if the Son of God existed, surely God did too.

You've done all you can?!! You've done absolutely nothing, apart from telling us we should convert. You present no argument, apart from "you'd better convert or else..." If you believe that this pathetic effort will make even one person change, you give us very little credit here. It takes years of brainwashing/indoctrination from a very early age to successfully convince some one of the ludicrous beliefs that you want to convert us to in one post!

Stephen Hawing is not a believer, just another typical example of the kinds of "facts" believers bandy about.

It is not a fact that Jesus existed. There is absolutely no proof that a man called Jesus existed. Maybe there was a Jesus, maybe Jesus is a mixture of a number of men from that time. But even if he did exist, how can you expect any one to be convinced that he was the son of God, based on forty years of Chinese whispers.

Read the Gospels from Mark to John (through Matthew and Luke). Notice how he's very much a man in Mark, proclaiming that the end of the world will occur in this lifetime. By the time we get to John, all he talks about is how bloody divine he is...(what a bore he must have been.) If his story was this distorted in the years when it was written down, we can only guess just how much it must have been distorted in the 30-40 years before any of it was written down at all. Put into the mix, the countess rewrites in the hundreds of years before we get to our earliest written account of the Gospels, and you must concede that there is surely very little accuracy in you Gospel "proof."

smcgiff

Guys, he's a troll. Chances are he actually agrees with what you've posted, but he gets his kicks by getting people to take him seriously. Don't waste your breath.

Take it for what it is - an opportunity to have a bit of a laugh until the thread gets locked.

housetypeb

But we love trolls here-this is not the christian thread where trolls are feared.
Troll on-we need the laughs as he tries to convince us of the invisible man in the sky.

smcgiff

housetypeb wrote: »

But we love trolls here-this is not the christian thread where trolls are feared.
Troll on-we need the laughs as he tries to convince us of the invisible man in the sky.

Chances are he's gone off slagging gays and art students

robindch

Wedgie wrote: »

Okay, I'm converted. Now what do I do?

Not sure, but I think feeling persecuted might help.

robindch

Dave! wrote: »

telboy wrote: »

Allow God's love to enter your souls.

Didn't the church get in trouble for that fairly recently? Oh you said souls...

That's "Souls" with a silent "R"?

Galvasean

robindch wrote: »

Not sure, but I think feeling persecuted might help.

Lay off the P word or he'll be all over this thread like a hot snot!

Wedgie

robindch wrote: »

Not sure, but I think feeling persecuted might help.

That's it?

That's all there is to it?

Damn, conversion sucks. I'm going to get another beer.

5uspect

smcgiff wrote: »

Chances are he's gone off slagging gays and art students

You leave the gays alone.

brainyneuron

smcgiff wrote: »

Chances are he's gone off slagging gays and art students

Yup he visited the LGBT forum and started a thread called 'Are gays born or made' :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: Was locked fairly swiftly

TheGodBen

telboy wrote: »

As a devoted Catholic all my life, I feel it is my duty to convert you non-believers before you burn in Hell for all eternity. I beg of you to abandon your devilish ways and achieve inner peace through the wonder of God.

In this New Year, let it be a new beginning for your souls. Allow the almighty Father to protect you from any danger and cleanse your soul through Confession. Athiests are just afraid to make themselves vulnerable. I ask of you to let go of that fear and obey the ever loving God.

Say a prayer for a loved one for this coming yesr. Recite the rosary each evening. Pray for forgiveness for disobeying God. Please change your ways.

God be with you.

As an open-minded rationalist for many years, I feel no duty nor desire to convert you to my philosophy, but since you tried it on us I thought I'd give it a go. I would strongly recommend that you abandon your silly ways and achieve peace through the wonders of reality.

In this new year, let it be a new beginning for your mind. Allow rationality to protect you from closed-minded bigots and cleanse yourself through good deeds. Theists are just afraid of accepting their mortality. I ask you to let go of that fear and liberate yourself from theistic oppression.

Do something nice for a loved one for this coming year. Do something practical and beneficial each evening. Seek the forgiveness of those you have wronged. Please change your ways.

Truth be with you.

strobe

smcgiff wrote: »

Guys, he's a troll. Chances are he actually agrees with what you've posted, but he gets his kicks by getting people to take him seriously. Don't waste your breath.

Take it for what it is - an opportunity to have a bit of a laugh until the thread gets locked.

Nah, will never happen. They don't lock threads round here. "Being the only spirituality forum that doesn't have to crush dissenting views since 2002" that's the official motto.

Turtwig

telboy wrote: »

As a devoted Catholic all my life, I feel it is my duty to convert you non-believers before you burn in Hell for all eternity. I beg of you to abandon your devilish ways and achieve inner peace through the wonder of God.

In this New Year, let it be a new beginning for your souls. Allow the almighty Father to protect you from any danger and cleanse your soul through Confession. Athiests are just afraid to make themselves vulnerable. I ask of you to let go of that fear and obey the ever loving God.

Say a prayer for a loved one for this coming yesr. Recite the rosary each evening. Pray for forgiveness for disobeying God. Please change your ways.

God be with you.

Hey,

While I understand your intentions are meant to be good. (Or else trollish, but I'm giving the benefit of the doubt here.) As a devout Catholic you should be well aware that Pope John Paul II described Hell as the absence of God. So, no burning for you or I my friend. Just the absence of His wisdom, love and glory when we die. I would also like to point out that converting us shouldn't be considered your primary duty. Perhaps it isn't, perhaps you already realised that loving your family,friends and enemies as Jesus did is what your primary duty is? If not, it's never too late.

I was a devout Catholic like you once, I'm not any more and I hope that someday you won't be either.

Scepticism and morality be with you.
Malt

lynski

Just the pre-bedtime laugh I needed. Got to love those crazy christians and their converting zeal. ;-)

BTW, never tire of saying this, your god, your hell, you go burn in it ;-)
Have a happy, rational, human, new year.

TrollHammaren

Fook heaven - at least if I go to hell my friends will be there.

"They see me trollin' - they hatin'"