Wedding guest dilemma

fifomania

Hi, couldn't see a post similar to this in the Wedding forum so thought I'd post here and see what other women thought.
I've been single for a year and a half and haven't anyone really significant in my life.
One of my oldest friends is getting married soon and I really don't have anyone I can ask to come with me to it. I was casually seeing a fella before christmas but it really isn't a thing where I could ask him to go to a wedding with me! Is it common to go alone to weddings? I know everyone that will be there and believe it or not they all have partners/husbands/wives.
I really really don't want to go alone but it's either this or not go at all. It fills me with dread! What does anyone think?

sarahlulu

Why not bring one of your girl friends?

coffee_cake

Yeah, bring a friend

baby and crumble

if you know everyone there, why not just head off by yourself? That way you don't have to be constantly introducing people, plus if you're friends with people already there it's not like you'll be sitting alone in a corner sobbing... or will it? :eek:

Plenty of my friends have gone to weddings alone, mainly because it's all of their friends that are going to be there.

Are any of the bridesmaids really good friends of yours? if so you could go along with their partner? a friend of mine did this at the last wedding I was at and it worked out perfectly. If you do go down the bringing a friend route, just make sure it's not a friend that wasn't invited if you know what I mean

Dudess

This convention I've never understood - people go without a partner to any other type of social event and it's no big deal... so why a different story for weddings?

Go by yourself if you know plenty of people there, bring a friend if you only know the bride/barely know anyone else. Not having a go at you for feeling uncomfortable about going alone, but would you judge someone who hasn't brought anyone? You probably wouldn't even notice. The couple getting married will be the main focus. And those who DO pass such judgements are certainly not worth paying heed to - especially when they're stupid enough to deem it acceptable for a person to bring someone who's a total stranger to the marrying couple, but not acceptable for a person to be at the wedding without a +1.

Up-n-atom!

I went to a good friend's wedding alone over the summer, it wasn't a big deal. My close friends that did go all have boyfriends, but there were a few other girls in our group there that also went alone. Seating arrangements are important, I'd say, and it isn't necessarily something that you can influence - thankfully, one of my close friends helped the bride place us all and so all our friends were all at the same table, so there was no awkwardness with people we half-knew or someone put at a random table because of odd-numbers. If you're afraid this might happen I'd bring a friend. Tbh though, you'll more than likely have a great time, no need to stress over going alone.

Phoenix Park

Dunno how people can make a big deal out of this, going alone is absolutely fine!.

Lynnsie

I was at a wedding a couple of days ago and there were loads of people there on their own. You could bring a female friend but then you could end up spending the night having to look after someone who doesn't know anyone there rather than just doing your own thing and enjoying the night!

romeosensini

Go alone especially if you know alot of guests. If you know alot of the guests, ask around of you know if the "singles" intend goin alone, you may find a good few other going alone!

nonsmoker

For my friends wedding last year I was single and felt the same as you OP, I was going to make up an excuse and not go.

But it was a wedding I had to go to and I knew most of the people that were going so I arranged to be collected at my house by another friend and her boyfriend so that we could travel to the chapel together and I didnt have to turn up 'alone'.

I understand what you are saying OP. I dont mind being single or going to functions but its different with weddings cause its almost always all couples, all lovely dovey, romantic and you almost feel like you are upsetting the whole table plan as theres an uneven number or something :(

Fittle

OP, as you know most people going to the wedding, is there a chance there might be someone else going alone, and you could ask the bride to seat the two of you together??
I've gone to two weddings alone - had a ball at both of them and was delighted I didn't ask another friend to tag along, just for the sake of it.

At both weddings, due to the seating arrangements, there were 3 couples and me and one other person (alone) at our table. Perhaps this will be the set-up for this wedding?

Loopie

Just to echo what other posters have said here...get yourself dolled up, head high and go it alone. Been in your position before and admittedly was rubbbing a hole in my hand with nerves, simply about being there alone. Was thinking, stupidly, that I'd be noticed as the odd one...newsflash - people won't be looking, even less caring whether you've a plus one! So, if you aren't feeling confident about it, just pretend, for the one day that you don't give a flying f**k, look the best you can, and enjoy it!

vicecreamsundae

i've been to a wedding alone and it was fun because i had friends there.

at the same time, the OP has made it pretty clear she doesnt want to go alone, and that's fine too.

why don't you mention it to the guy you're casually seeing? even jokingly suggest that if you're still dating when the wedding comes around that he go with you. tell him you're inviting him to a wedding but not to worry, you won't show up in a white dress
apart from that, you could ask your friends if they have friends they could set you up with...it's just one date, what's to lose?

there's definitely nothing wrong with going alone, or bringing a girlfriend. but at the same time, why not keep your eyes out for a date, if that's what you'd rather?
good luck!

Agent Smith

i'm a man, but i would always go stag to a wedding. not to pick up women or anything, but i'd imagine most couples would have enough trouble paying for a wedding, let alone paying for my "date" for the day


If i was in a relationship, well, thats a different cattle of fish

Arkslippy

If you are going alone, you should see of you can be seated at a table with other singles ect, that's the best table to be at as weddings do bring a bit of "the four weddings and a funeral" feeling out in people and you won't be tied to someone else or a couple for the night.

Also if you can afford it, stay in the hotel and treat yourself to a lie in and big brekkie plus treat the following day.

convert

I know how daunting it can be to go to a wedding on your own, OP.

My OH and I were invited to a friend's wedding during the summer, but because it was midweek he wasn't able to get time off work, so, despite my many doubts and misgivings, I decided to go on my own. I didn't know many people there, and those I did were more acquaintences rather than friends, but I actually had a great time there and was really glad I went on my own, rather than bringing someone along for the sake of it (and believe me, I had considered it!). I could do my own thing, and didn't have to 'look after' anyone, or put up with their moods, etc.

While it definitely can be quite daunting to go to a wedding on your own, I can, as somebody who is quite shy and absolutely dreaded going to the wedding on my own, definitely say that you would end up regretting not going to celebrate your friend's special day. Go and enjoy yourself, and it will be you a chance to meet and chat to some new people. And who knows, you might even meet some cute guys, too!

You could, of course, ask a family member or some close friends to go, either. There's nothing unusual about that. I brought my brother with me to another friend's wedding (where I knew absolutely nobody), and it went fine!

panda100

I think it really does depend on who else is going to the wedding. If you have friends you know that will be there and can hang out with them, then I would definitely just go by myself.
If it's a wedding where you won't know anyone then I would bring a friend or family member along for company.

carolinespring

When I was singel and not dating anyone I used to take a girlfriend and always had a great day, lots of girly gossiping and drinks. Worked out well.

solerina

I have been to a rediculous amount of weddings and have never brought anyone with me (i happened to be single each time)....u will always meet someone to chat to, the couple who invited you will realise u are coming alone and will put u at a good table....thats what has always happened to me anyway.....I usually feel a bit intimidated going but will go alone anyway rather then bring someone and then have to mind them.....if you know a lot of people going it wont be an issue anyway once you arrive at the church you will be fine...

LegacyUser

Go on your own - it'll be much less stressful than brining someone you don't really know. If you bring this person, you'll spend the whole day concerned about them, and feel olbliged to be with them most of the day. While alone you can move from table to table chatting, and meeting different people, - you can even go home a little early if you find the day too tiring, But I think this would be unlikely - you;ll probably have a great time.

Maple

If you know people at the wedding and are comfortable to hang out with them, then go by yourself.

If you don't know anybody apart from the wedding couple, then bring a girlfriend with you, someone who is comfortable in a social scene.

Either way I wouldn't invite some guy just for the sake of bringing a man to a wedding, your head would be meidered trying to "mind" him and make sure he's having a good time.

I've done both, gone alone and brought a brilliant girlfriend, and I had the best craic ever each time. Moreso than when I went to a wedding with my boyfriend.

enda1

If it was my wedding and you were my guest, I'd be a bit pissed off if you just brought some friend who was not your partner.

I don't really get why you can't just go on your own?

enda1

enda1 wrote: »

If it was my wedding and you were my guest, I'd be a bit pissed off if you just brought some friend who was not your partner.

But then you wouldn't have invited her + guest

Kelda09

enda1 wrote: »

If it was my wedding and you were my guest, I'd be a bit pissed off if you just brought some friend who was not your partner.

I don't really get why you can't just go on your own?

Hi, First I'm a bit curious as to why you said that Enda1, Why would you be pissed off if someone brought a friend who is not a partner? Surely you'd barely even see this person anyway for it to affect you. At any wedding Ive been to (and there have been enough of them) the poor bride and groom have been so busy with photo's and then everyone wanting to chat to them and congratulate them that in fairness they don't seem to notice who you bring.

In answer to the OP's post, I say bring a friend that you can have a laugh with, preferably one who knows some of your friends that have also been invited. If a friend your thinking of asking does not know others that will be there perhaps invite her/him along the next night ye're going out so they can get to meet the other's before the wedding. Alternatively, as has been suggested already, go alone, esp if you know that your friends are going to be there. A friends wedding is not a day that you want to spend babysitting someone you barely know.

Most importantly though, enjoy the day, dance your shoes off and have fun with your friends who ever you decide to bring, if anyone

Kelda09

Ooops, meant to say in previous post. If you are anxious about what others might think or say about you being at a wedding on your own, don't be!! My brother got married a few months ago, and like you, at the time I was single. I went on my own as I felt I didn't want to be babysitting someone who wouldnt really know anyone there. I was slightly apprehensive about doing so, but, I am so glad I did I got to dance the night away, chat to everyone and anyone at the wedding and did not feel guilty for going off and chatting to people I knew at other tables while my 'date' was at my table trying to make small talk with other's there. Life's too short to worry about what anyone else might think, but to be honest, I dont think anyone even cared, thankfully the days of "having" to bring a +1 seem to be gone

Pythia

My friend invited me and my boyfriend to her wedding, same with another girl and her boyfriend. The bride had never met our boyfs and the boyfs didn't know anyone at the wedding so my friend and I went as each other's dates. Had a great time as we didn't have to sit with our partners all night, making sure they were ok and could just enjoy ourselves. Also took two people off the bride's invite list so she could cut costs a little.

Just go without a date. Presumably you know other people at the wedding so just gravitate towards them. You'll have a much better time, trust me!