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The Jizzler's Friendly Local Bar! Purchase Locally And Keep Money in C&H!

  • 29-12-2010 8:00pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭


    Sup Ladies and Gentlemen. :)SIZE="1"]I mean since when do girls come into bars?[/SIZE

    As you can probably tell by now, Dear Deise has once again foiled me into a job which I'm going to suck at.

    So yes, as of now at 8:00, The "Cocktails And Heineken" bar is now open.
    ID shall be required for any alcoholic or peanut containing drink.

    Just for tonight, buy 2 shots of Tequila for JUST €2.*


    So yes, indeed, I hope that you all I** have a good night.

    Drink responsibly, and don't drink and post, please and thank you.

    *T&Cs may apply. €2 price is only applicable from 8:01-8:02. This does not affect your statutory rights.

    **My bar's in desperate need of a good night, I can barely afford the rent.

    So, Just to bring a night to the start, here's a special guest to open the bar.



«13

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,164 ✭✭✭Konata


    GIMME TROPICANA NAO!

    :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    Considering you didn't specify which flavour Konata, Here you go! :)
    tropicana_1.jpg


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,590 ✭✭✭Pigwidgeon


    You better have bacon fries. If not, I won't be happy.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,059 ✭✭✭Screaminmidget


    Tequila my good man!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,164 ✭✭✭Konata


    Well Noel, while I appreciate the effort, I ate paying for all those :P

    I wants Tropicana Orange Juice PLEASE and if it has bits in it I will actually stab you my fine man :D


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,248 ✭✭✭Slow Show


    Seeing as I'm on a diet, I'll just have a sprinkle of dust, thank you very much. :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,384 ✭✭✭Duffy the Vampire Slayer


    orgasm-682_729284a.jpg?w=450&h=316

    I'll have what shes having.
    Yes I made this joke last time :P


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    A stein of Erdinger my way, my good man!


  • Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 7,849 Mod ✭✭✭✭suitcasepink


    slow show wrote: »
    Seeing as I'm on a diet, I'll just have a sprinkle of dust, thank you very much. :)

    Anything more and you wouldnt fit into that tight dress :P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,779 ✭✭✭A Neurotic


    Usual please.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    kateos2 wrote: »
    You better have bacon fries. If not, I won't be happy.

    Only the finest bacon fries!

    W00015.jpg
    Tequila my good man!!

    YOU'RE UNDER 18! OUT MIDGET, OUT!!
    Konata wrote: »
    Well Noel, while I appreciate the effort, I ate paying for all those :P

    I wants Tropicana Orange Juice PLEASE and if it has bits in it I will actually stab you my fine man :D

    I am very sorry, Dear Konata. Accept my apologies. Here, just for you.

    54080011_L.jpg?identifier=adea092c5f44d3f2cc5c7f60364dec24
    slow show wrote: »
    Seeing as I'm on a diet, I'll just have a sprinkle of dust, thank you very much. :)

    Here's a couple of 'em for you! :)

    glitterdust_500x600.jpg
    I'll have what shes having.
    Yes I made this joke last time :P

    I'm afraid that's illegal. :(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,109 ✭✭✭QueenOfLeon


    Gimme the strongest you have. I'll need drunken help for my *gracious-loser-but-secretly-wanting-to-stab-the-winner* Joey-esque face ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    A stein of Erdinger my way, my good man!

    Here you go! I couldn't find any stein, so a big glass will have to do..

    erdinger-weissbierfl-gl-300b.jpg
    A Neurotic wrote: »
    Usual please.

    As requested!

    cappuccino1.jpg


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,059 ✭✭✭Screaminmidget


    Noel2k9 wrote: »
    YOU'RE UNDER 18! OUT MIDGET, OUT!!
    I has I.D.!!!!!!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    Gimme the strongest you have. I'll need drunken help for my *gracious-loser-but-secretly-wanting-to-stab-the-winner* Joey-esque face ;)

    muscle_man.jpg

    Strongest man I could find around these areas. If you'd like a drink feel free to call back! :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,164 ✭✭✭Konata


    You rock Noel. AN ENTIRE FRICKIN' CARTON OF TROPICANA!

    HELLS YEA!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    I has I.D.!!!!!!!

    I do not take Fake ID's. NOW OUT. OUT. OUT.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 780 ✭✭✭cheesefiend




  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    Konata wrote: »
    You rock Noel. AN ENTIRE FRICKIN' CARTON OF TROPICANA!

    HELLS YEA!

    You still haven't paid me?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,768 ✭✭✭almostnever


    COKE.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,148 ✭✭✭✭KnifeWRENCH


    Greetings, barkeep. I shall have a glass of your finest beverage mixed with your second finest.

    Oh and a side order of hoi sin crispy owl plz.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    One of these please.

    appletini1.jpg

    The finest Appletini I could find for you cheesefiend! It even comes with added apple slice made of sugar! Omnom!


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Motoring & Transport Moderators Posts: 7,396 Mod ✭✭✭✭**Timbuk2**


    COKE.

    A good choice :P

    Noel, can I have a Captain Morgan and Orange please. If I win nothing, make it a double :P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,248 ✭✭✭Slow Show


    Wow, that's an awful lot of dust.

    *eats dust*

    *button pops*

    Dammit anyway. :(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,109 ✭✭✭QueenOfLeon


    *puke*

    That man probably can't even stand up. No good! ALCOHOL NAO :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,059 ✭✭✭Screaminmidget


    alright, ill have a rockshandy please


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 780 ✭✭✭cheesefiend


    Noel2k9 wrote: »

    The finest Appletini I could find for you cheesefiend! It even comes with added apple slice made of sugar! Omnom!

    Added splice? You've outdone yourself my friend, keep the change ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,384 ✭✭✭Duffy the Vampire Slayer


    Jameson on the rocks please.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    COKE.

    An endless supply of Coke for you dear almostnever!
    coca-cola-cans.jpg

    Greetings, barkeep. I shall have a glass of your finest beverage mixed with your second finest.

    Oh and a side order of hoi sin crispy owl plz.

    Here you go, good sir. I decided to leave them unmixed so as to let you choose your own quantities. One is a strange brown drink that I'll call whiskey.. and the other is a strange coloured drink that I'll call a cocktail!

    As for your owl.. Here's an owl burger with hoi sin sauce! :) :pac:

    2212754283_14501bb79a.jpg?v=0


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    A good choice :P

    Noel, can I have a Captain Morgan and Orange please. If I win nothing, make it a double :P

    Here you go Timmy! I couldn't find the time to mix them so I shall give you bottles of both!

    captain-morgan.jpg
    orange-soda-300w.jpg
    *puke*

    That man probably can't even stand up. No good! ALCOHOL NAO :D

    Some green coloured Absinthe for you so!

    buy-absinthe.jpg
    alright, ill have a rockshandy please

    Club-Rock-Shandy-200.jpg

    TAKE THAT NAGGIN' OUT OF YOUR POCKET! NOW!
    Added splice? You've outdone yourself my friend, keep the change ;)

    Why thank you! Helping me strive through this recession!
    Jameson on the rocks please.

    Some posh Jameson here for you. Over 40 years old lawd!

    smith-peter-howard-glass-of-whiskey-with-ice-cubes.jpg


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,183 ✭✭✭storm2811


    Gimme the strongest you have. I'll need drunken help for my *gracious-loser-but-secretly-wanting-to-stab-the-winner* Joey-esque face ;)

    Oh man I was gonna use that face.:pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,059 ✭✭✭Screaminmidget


    ill have what the man on the floor is having also


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,109 ✭✭✭QueenOfLeon


    Noel2k9 wrote: »
    Some green coloured Absinthe for you so!

    buy-absinthe.jpg

    *drops money on floor*

    *falls over trying to pick it up*

    Godammit Noel! Its too early for that!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    ill have what the man on the floor is having also
    *drops money on floor*

    *falls over trying to pick it up*

    Godammit Noel! Its too early for that!

    QOL's already on the floor!

    Attention, attention!
    Duffy to the floor, some drunken lady has collapsed! Staff call, Duffy to the floor immediately.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,248 ✭✭✭Slow Show


    Screw this diet...6 chicken burgers, 11 chicken wings, extra extra extra large fries and a...uh...diet coke. :cool:


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,768 ✭✭✭almostnever


    I finished all the coke and now I need MOAR

    *one woman band*


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,553 ✭✭✭soccymonster


    Water.. lots of it.

    wooo.. tough crowd tonight.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,164 ✭✭✭Konata


    Some meth there please.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,532 ✭✭✭Ginja Ninja


    stock-photo-security-guard-in-front-of-crowd-63861274.jpg
    Right lads,take it easy.The night's early yet


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    slow show wrote: »
    Screw this diet...6 chicken burgers, 11 chicken wings, extra extra extra large fries and a...uh...diet coke. :cool:

    Here's 6 mini chicken burgers. ;)

    Chicken-Burgers.jpg?1217945159

    11 of my finest chicken wings. Although they're not mine, cos I'm not a chicken clearly!

    chicken_wings_or_why_people_kn_p1.jpg

    Large Fries and Diet Coke!
    fries.jpg

    diet+coke.jpg
    I finished all the coke and now I need MOAR

    *one woman band*

    YESS! ANOTHER CUSTOMER! Keep the money C&Hish! :P

    Here's a gold plated Coca Cola for being a loyal customer!

    coke.jpg


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,248 ✭✭✭Slow Show


    Noel2k9 wrote: »
    Here's 6 mini chicken burgers. ;)

    Mini....MINI? DID I SAY MINI?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    Water.. lots of it.

    wooo.. tough crowd tonight.

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRuJmozLnF3A2zhC1m7khTT1P31HPBXPpx0-PgOIVJdO_8uULyY

    Even a fancy glass for you Soccy! ;)
    Konata wrote: »
    Some meth there please.

    I DO NOT CONDONE THIS BEHAVIOR! OUTOUTOUT
    Right lads,take it easy.The night's early yet

    Good work. Keep it up!


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Motoring & Transport Moderators Posts: 7,396 Mod ✭✭✭✭**Timbuk2**


    Gold plated Coca Cola!? :O ME WANTS :D

    /Bargains with almostnever


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    slow show wrote: »
    Mini....MINI? DID I SAY MINI?

    They're only mini to a giant, normal to a human like you! Gosh. Tiring night.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,059 ✭✭✭Screaminmidget


    Noel2k9 wrote: »
    They're only mini to a giant, normal to a human like you! Gosh. Tiring night.
    there freaking huge to me .........


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    Gold plated Coca Cola!? :O ME WANTS :D

    /Bargains with almostnever

    Only one ever created!

    I'm afraid you guys will have to work this out between yourselves! :P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,361 ✭✭✭bythewoods


    I would like a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man's hat.
    Please.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,109 ✭✭✭QueenOfLeon


    I might have to take a powernap in the storeroom before we kick off. Anyone care to lift me off the floor?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    there freaking huge to me .........

    I know right! Could feed Africa for a week..
    bythewoods wrote: »
    I would like a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man's hat.
    Please.

    Here you go! I even left some used peanuts on the counter just incase you get peckish! They're disease free. ;)

    tumblr_ldmwb2Jr2N1qdoghio1_500.png


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,808 ✭✭✭ohthebaby


    I'd like a lovely glass of West Coast Cooler to start the night off with please, my good man. The pink one of course.

    This will be the only drink I'll have here tonight. Gotta go out now. :(


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