What is a resonable amount of pocket money

pauljw11

Looking for some guidance here.

We have a 19 year old daughter at university. She is living at home. We are trying to decide how much pocket money to give her. What she will not have to pay for out of this money is books for college, fees for college, meals at home, "basic clothes", a coat for the winter, sensible shoes etc.

What she will have to pay for is meals at college, "party clothes", nights out, tickets for concerts and that type of thing.

How much per week would you suggest?

January

I've moved this post to a thread of it's own.

Chuchoter

My parents put like 180 into my account every 6 months or so and then I babysit for the rest.

Maybe €20 a week?

hshortt

That sounds very fair, and also fair play to you for doing something to help yourself. It's good to see.

bulmersgal

sure lunch can cost €5/6 so that by 5 days. I think €30 would be fairer

January

bulmersgal wrote: »

sure lunch can cost €5/6 so that by 5 days. I think €30 would be fairer

There's no reason lunch should cost 5/6€ a day if it's home made and brought to college. Especially if there are warming facilities at the college you could bring things like pastas, left over dinners, pizza etc.

If you're paying for transport to and from college seperately I think €25 a week would be fine.

bulmersgal

i went to dit and there was no warming facilities. You can bring in stuff but everybody else goes out, most places its nearly €5 for a sandwhich and a tea. Also you have to consider she'll have to buy mid morning snacks out of money too.

Even with €30 she wouldn't have much money for ""party clothes", nights out, tickets for concerts and that type of thing. "

Imbatman

adrieanne__x wrote: »

There's no reason lunch should cost 5/6€ a day if it's home made and brought to college. Especially if there are warming facilities at the college you could bring things like pastas, left over dinners, pizza etc.

If you're paying for transport to and from college seperately I think €25 a week would be fine.

exactly..in moylish l.i.t its four euros for a sandwich and 2.50 for a single slice of pizza,myself and the other mature students get a laugh out of how much the younger lads waste on lunches 5 days a week,we averaged it out to between 1800 and 2100 a year,no wonder they are always broke.i make mine at home and hate even giving them the scandalous 1.40 they charge for tea.Give your daughter 25 euro a week and tell her its up to her to make it last.

Wolfe Tone

I get 25-30 quid a week, with that I get the bus to Dublin on a monday, buy food and cook it(I stay in my grandads during the week) and go out twice a week, although I dont get taxis, and drink little, and get the bus home on a friday/saturday. I just about get by.

My parents pay for books and other 1 off things, I raid my savings for the rest. I pay 9.99 a month for mobile broadband out of my pocket too. Tell her to feck off with her party clothes, I am sure she has plenty. You are paying enough already.


EDIT: The parents give me the money for generally keeping an eye on my 90yo grandfather and to give him some general help around the house, although he can do most things himself, basically consists of changing light-bulbs, bleeding radiators, nipping to the shop for him

axer

pauljw11 wrote: »

How much per week would you suggest?

I can't see how she could not earn 100 euro herself working in a supermarket or the likes. After that then a hundred or two every few months (maybe 6 months) as a top up to be used for bigger items - clothes etc.

we'llallhavetea_old

well, whatever you can afford really. it'd be great if she could get a part time job but realistically this may not be possible.

Nevyn

Pocket money for a 19 year old in college?
Tbh I am staggered by the idea, tell her to get a part time job.

Das Kitty

Thaedydal wrote: »

Pocket money for a 19 year old in college?
Tbh I am staggered by the idea, tell her to get a part time job.

I was thinking the same. I worked my way through college living away from home. I would hope to help my son with tuition etc when it comes to it but there's no way I'll be giving him drinking and shopping money.

Moonbeam

I would have said they can get a job but at the moment even part time jobs are not as plentiful as they once were so is not always possible.
I think 100 euro lodged to their account every month is plenty.

How Strange

I'd say €25-30 a week is loads. Buying your lunch everyday in a canteen is ridiculous. My younger brother is in 2nd year and being subsidised by my parents and even he has realised that he needs to bring a packed lunch to keep spending to a minimum. Hell, I work in an office and earn a decent wage and bring my lunch in 4 days out of 5.

Set the weekly allowance and let your daughter budget and manage it. Ideally she should get a part time job but there's not so many of them anymore.

Kunle

€70 per week

Wolfe Tone

Kunle wrote: »

€70 per week

You would be the daughter yeah?

Twee.

If she could get a part time job it'd be great. I had one for two years but had to quit as stress and tiredness was affecting my studies. Wasn't worth it, so make sure she has enough time to have a job!
Now I'm getting about €30 to €40 a week from my parents. Goes mostly on the weekend and canteen food (longs days in college, no heating methods on campus, can't cope with just a sambo!). They pay for my monthly bus tickets, books, necessary clothing (coats, shoes etc for the weather).

pauljw11

Original poster back again--To cut a long story short she built up some debts before she went to college that she is paying back from what she is earning from a part time job--this is a long story and is something that happened that should not have but it can't be undone. We don't want her to do too much part time work and not have any time energy left for her studies.

stovelid

Worked Saturday and Sunday and the odd week day all through college. If part-time work affects your studies, you can work weekends.

No harm imo to top up what your kids earn themselves if you can afford it though.

Joey the lips

I remember my mother commenting on this. Reasonable is as much as you have to give... Sounds stupid but it was true, Up until i was 18 i survived on 1.80 per week. Then i went to collage brought me own lunch and needed 30 pound per week. That was 20 years ago.

My mother also commented how girls needed more money than boys because the are more fashion aware. I think the real truth is my mother was afraid my sister would be caught without contraception or time of month stuff...

January

pauljw11 wrote: »

Original poster back again--To cut a long story short she built up some debts before she went to college that she is paying back from what she is earning from a part time job--this is a long story and is something that happened that should not have but it can't be undone. We don't want her to do too much part time work and not have any time energy left for her studies.

To be honest this is why I would give her less money than usual, €30 a week should do it, your daughter needs to learn to budget and she won't do that if you're handing her money hand over fist.

Kalimah

Holy God lads. I'm giving my 21 year old 300 a month and I've heard of parents giving kids 500 a month. He pays for all transport,food in college, books etc. Transport to and from college is 20 euro a week before you do anything else. I'll have another in college next year so I'll have to rethink that figure. I'd tell him to get a part time job but his course hours are more or less 9 to 6 five days a week and there are assignments on top of that.

LegacyUser

What does she do around the house to EARN pocket money? If it is for frivolous items it should be earned

ATMW

Kalimah wrote: »

Holy God lads. I'm giving my 21 year old 300 a month and I've heard of parents giving kids 500 a month. He pays for all transport,food in college, books etc. Transport to and from college is 20 euro a week before you do anything else. I'll have another in college next year so I'll have to rethink that figure. I'd tell him to get a part time job but his course hours are more or less 9 to 6 five days a week and there are assignments on top of that.

I have just finished doing a degree as a mature student--you are talking about a minimum of 300 euro a month if you are realistic about it. As Kalimah says if you have to pay for transport this will probably clock up 20 euro a week unless you are lucky to live very close to the college, one cup of coffee a day would hardly be extravagant, but this will clock up 10-15 euro. It is also unrealistic to expect 19 year olds to live like nuns, they need the odd night out. I know several people who have kids in college and they say "I give them 30 euro a week" but they often bung them another 20 euro when they are going out, frequently lend them their car, buy their clothes for them etc. A lot depends on how much in the way of clothes, shoes, transport etc. you expect the student to pay for.

Ideally this can be wholly or partly earned by part time jobs, but there are very few part-time jobs about these days compared to a few years back, and employers are not near as willing to offer flexible hours to tie in with college commitments as they were a few years back.

lonestargirl

I agree with other posters that it is not up to you to fund her clothes, concerts or nights out. That's what part-time jobs are for. 3rd level students get 3 months off for the summer so even if she doesn't have time for a job during term-time she should be saving every summer for the year ahead.

I was very lucky that my parents were able to support me financially through college. I lived away from home and got €70 a week, so that was for bills, food, transport, books etc. I started working at 16 and always earned the money for clothes, holidays etc myself.

eastbono

I had 2 daughters in college at the same time...one was living at home and the other with her gran. Daughter at home did get a part-time job but had to give it up because of her college course pocket money €100 per week... this paid for everything bus ticket clothes, books etc. Daughter living with gran had a part-time job and gave her nothing for the first year and then I had a funny moment cos she had worked her way through secondary school as well and felt she should also get €100 per week. Anyway to make a long story short daughter who lived with gran got work with civil service every summer and had to do a year abroad as part of her degree and that was funded by us as was part of her pgce year in Uk (she did get a grant from uk government). Daughter at home is still at home and is doing a Ph.d and is now in a position to pay for her keep €50 per week so at the end of the day its all about what you can afford. We were lucky that we could afford to keep our daughters while in college. They have been warned that a good nursing home costs a lot... but equally they have also promised to assist us if we need to got abroad to terminate our lives if we feel our quality of life is terrible.

The Cool

I'm living at college away from home and on grants so I'm not exactly in the same boat, but i think 20-30 a week is unrealistic. It depends really, but if you give her that, she is going to have to come back to you for leisure money. I have friends who live on that kind of money, and I am forever giving them a euro or two here and there telling them to get a bag of crisps or something! I am by no means one of the extravagant ones - on the other side of the scale I have friends who eat big dinners in college and by in expensive clothes shops and still have money to go out at least once a week, which is all well and good if you can afford it I suppose. As somebody said, she's going to spend about 20 quid or so on travel alone. To be honest, I wouldn't push her into a part time job - it can be hard. I work Sundays and while I am driven to get out of bed on a Sunday because of the money, I do find it hard going - I don't have any me time, because I spend Monday to Friday in college and then Saturday is taken up with assignments and then trying to get in a few hours with the boyfriend. I really miss having a bit of time for myself, for my sanity!
I take care of my own finances now, but in first year I gave my grant money to my parents and they gave me weekly allowance of 70€ and out of that I fed myself for the week - breakfast, lunch and dinner - as well as having money for (cheap) nights out and buying the clothes I needed. Since she's living at home, I'd say give her 50 - that way she'll learn to budget without having to watch every cent, and she should still be able to save a bit, so further down the line she'll have money to cover herself for whatever without going back to you for more.
It's worth noting that her expenditure will go up and down - she might spend more on going out around Rag week etc, which I suppose you should tell her to save her pocket money for, but then closer to exams she'll need more as she'll be putting in longer days on campus studying and may need to buy two meals and/or snacks in college.
And of course there are some things you should encourage her to do to save money on the simple things - like taking a bottle of water or ribena and some fruit and snacks or whatever from home, as that itself saves quite a bit in the long run.

Zillah

Thaedydal wrote: »

Pocket money for a 19 year old in college?
Tbh I am staggered by the idea, tell her to get a part time job.

It depends entirely on what course she's doing, what the work load is like, how much time she has free and how responsible she is.

If she's likely to be working hard in college and not have much time off I'd be inclined to give her as much as I could reasonably afford. On the other hand, the fact that "party clothes" are something she seems to be expecting her parents to pay for perhaps she's not quite there yet. I had a decent part time job during college but my course was not hugely time intensive.

Gaspode

I think 20-30 a week is more than fair - it's just 'pocket money' after all. I think you're already playing your part by giving her a home, meals, paying for books etc as you said.
Let her learn to budget out the money she gets from the job so that she can afford to go out now and then.
Between study and the job she wont have a whole lot of free partying time anyway.

In my experience a lot of teenagers expect, and often get, way too much from their parents. They need to learn how to handle & juggle money by themselves and not depend on their folks to do it for them.

Nevyn

Zillah wrote: »

It depends entirely on what course she's doing, what the work load is like, how much time she has free and how responsible she is.

I did electronic engineering in college away from home, between lectures, tutorials and lab work I was doing 30 + hours a week and I worked at the weekends doing two 12 hour shifts, that paid for my weekly expenses, rent, food, 'pocket money' I did get a grant and that when it was paid out covered books and clothes. I worked every holiday break and over the summer and even took year out to work and then save so that when I went back for the final semester I didn't work at all but just studied.

There are jobs out there, just a lot of students won't lower themselves to do those types of jobs.

Fighting Irish

Thaedydal wrote: »

Pocket money for a 19 year old in college?
Tbh I am staggered by the idea, tell her to get a part time job.

Really it depends on how well off the parents are. I'd prefer give my children money through college rather than let part time jobs get in the way of college.

Zillah

Thaedydal wrote: »

I did electronic engineering in college away from home, between lectures, tutorials and lab work I was doing 30 + hours a week and I worked at the weekends doing two 12 hour shifts, that paid for my weekly expenses, rent, food, 'pocket money' I did get a grant and that when it was paid out covered books and clothes. I worked every holiday break and over the summer and even took year out to work and then save so that when I went back for the final semester I didn't work at all but just studied.

And I'm sure that was very difficult and stressful, and you probably would have done even better in college if you had all that time for studying instead. Why put someone through all of that if it is not necessary? I don't mean to start a fight, but it seems a bit like you might have a chip on your shoulder. It was hard for you so why should anyone else get off easy? You worked really hard and good job for pushing through it, but there's no point inflicting that on someone for no reason.

amen

I did electronic engineering in college away from home, between lectures, tutorials and lab work I was doing 30 + hours a week and I worked at the weekends doing two 12 hour shifts, that paid for my weekly expenses, rent, food

This is more like. I did something similar (same course hours and work pattern) with no grant. If I wanted money I worked for it.

This was 20 yers ago when it was hard to get a part time job but there are always part time jobs. If she is doing Arts then she prob only has a small number of contact hours a week and if she managed her time she would be able to work and get college work completed.

dlofnep

I worked all through college right up til the end of 4th year. I wish I had pocket money

Nevyn

If she is living in the family home and doesn't have the over heads of rent/bills/food then having a part time job can easily pay for walking around money or day to day expenses of college which is what this is about and not a child's pocket money.

Zillah

Thaedydal wrote: »

If she is living in the family home and doesn't have the over heads of rent/bills/food then having a part time job can easily pay for walking around money or day to day expenses of college which is what this is about and not a child's pocket money.

Why have a student waste time and energy if their parents can afford to support them?

Nevyn

Why have a child clean thier room if thier parent can do it for them?

Zillah

Because cleaning a room takes five minutes and has no chance of impacting their college work. Can you answer my question?

lonestargirl

Zillah wrote: »

Why have a student waste time and energy if their parents can afford to support them?

Because part of parenting is teaching our children life skills, financial planning and budgeting is one of these. We are talking here about pocket money, not money for essentials. I'm well past college age and I still only allow myself one treat coffee/hot chocolate a week in work, otherwise I could blow $20 a week without even thinking.

Zillah

Well like I said in my very first post, it depends on how responsible she is. If she's a bit spoiled a part time job could do her the world of good. But if she has a good head on her shoulders and respect for money then making her do a job while studying is just a little petty.

Moonbeam

from reading back she already has a part time job but got herself in to debt and is using the income from the job to pay it off.
I worked all the way through school and college and think that there is a right balance it isn't right to have a young student stressed about money for essentials but it is not right to have to support them when they are adults,they need to learn the value of money.
I think the perfect situation is working and parents throwing in a few extra euro or maybe rent money if they can afford it.
As this girl has managed to get herself in to debt somehow even before getting to college i would give her the bare minimum for college.

Dr Bolouswki

Realistically you just got to look at average costs of things, and then decide how much of that you want to fund. I would say a bare minimum to cover lunches/tea/coffee and travel would be €50 a week. If they get packed lunches you could probably get by on €30. If they have no travel then sure €10 a week gets them a coffee a day!

If you are throwing odd nights out into the equation along with the above, the €300 a month sounds reasonable. I never got pocket money myself - had to either earn it or get treated to the odd night out. But that's what I'd want myself these days to not feel like a transient.

How Strange

I've just read back through the posts too and the op's daughter is 19 and has managed to run up debts. That would indicate that she's not responsible with money. In that situation I think giving her too much money may not bebwise. She needs to learn the value of money.

Yes it's sh1t when you're that age and don't have loads of money for socialising, clothes etc but is it really a parents role to fund a young adults lifestyle? I'd say no it isn't.

I still say €30 per week but look at how much travel will cost her and perhaps add that to it. Compromise on both sides is important but again if she says 'everyone eats in the canteen and drinks 5 coffees at €10 a day' then that's unrealistic. most working people prob don't even do that.

Nights out, clothes etc should be regarded as extras which she would have to work to earn money for even ifbtyat means she works in the family home by doing cooking and cleaning.

C.D.

Having only left college in the last few years, my budget was as follows:

Bus ticket (about 4-6 weeks of transport depending if I was going to the library on weekends): €85

1 hot meal a day (I was in from 9/10 in the morning to 8/9 in the evening in the library. I would take 1 packed meal, but when it is cold, wet and dark, having a hot meal at least once a day works wonders for your motivation): €5 a day, ~€100 a month.

Phone credit: €20 a month

Cinema/going out/socialising/ misc: €20 a week, €100 a month

~€305 a month

That, to my mind, is a comfortable balance of spending well without being lavish. €20 a week for going out is manageable- two drinks and a nitelink. I worked during my first two years of college, but gave it up in the last two years- it made an incredible difference to my grades. €30 a week would cover little more than transport costs for a lot of people.

When all is said and done, I was lucky in that my parents could afford the above, which could very well not be the case for everybody.

dan_d

My 19 yr old sister is in first year in college and working Saturday mornings. 50-60eur a week is what she earns.My parents subsidise her travel occasionally - she has hefty enough train ticket costs etc - and have bought her decent clothes (shoes,coats) aswell.All else she buys herself, though fairly rarely. She has a fairly hectic social life, which she pays for herself.

candy19

I have been out working since I was 14 years old, do you not think its time she got a job??

I'm in college 5 days a week for the past 3 years or more and I currently have two part-time jobs! I wouldn't ask my family to support me once I have started college, had to completely fend for myself and its the best thing I ever done!

angeldelight

I got 50 euro a week when I was in college. I had quite a busy timetable, would be in 8.30 or 9 til 5 some days and an hour and a half commute each way. This coupled with a course which was quite academically challenging meant that my parents preferred me to spend spare time studying so they chose to give me money. From that I bought food in college, bus tickets, stuff for college excluding books, most of my clothes, nights out, presents at christmas etc.

I don't really think you can say that your child will never learn to budget etc -I think that's something that comes to most people naturally with time anyway. If you can afford it why pile the pressure on them at a time that is already challenging. I now work full-time, pay rent & bills and save a huge chunk of my salary each month. I always appreciated the money my parents gave me and I think that is the most important point, not how much they gave me

BossArky

Interesting thread & something which strikes a chord with me. I had to earn every penny which went towards my education.

It started when I was 14 at the end of secondary school 3rd year and finished up when I got my independence with a Masters at age 22. Looking back it sounds horrific and I kinda wonder what my parents were thinking. We weren't exactly broke, nor where we very well off.

I don't want any child of mine to have to go through what I did. Lots of pressure to work and study at the same time. However, it made me respect money and learn to stand on my own two feet at an early age.

My working history:

1996: Age 14 - the summer between 3rd and 5th year in secondary school, plus the first few months of 5th year as the school was being renovated: Worked selling tea-cosies and cheap kitchenware out of the back of some dodgy dudes hi-ace van as we toured around Ireland. Earned roughly 30 punts per day. The first 80 punts I had to put towards the carpet my parents were planning to put in my bedroom!! Lol - not what a 14 year old was thinking of using the money for.

1996 - 1997: Age 15 & 16 - worked at SuperQuinn for most of 5th year and a bit of 6th year secondary school earning 1.98 punts per hour.

1998: Age 16/17 - finished leaving cert and worked at a local factory for a month, then another local place saving money for University.

1999: Age 17/18 - Summer break between Uni 1st and 2nd years - worked at a local place earning around 2.50 per hour. Worked at Uni cleaning campus houses afterwards.

2000: Age 18/19 - Uni placement in Germany for saving cash to put me through 3rd year.

2000/2001: Age 19/20 - Uni bar job 2 nights a week, Hotel washing dishes 2 nights a week, working in pizzeria 2 nights a week.

2001: Age 20 - Summer J1 job between Uni 3rd and 4th years in New York earning money for 4th year.

2001/2002: Age 21 - struggled to get by my savings and get my degree by surviving 4th year

2002: Age 21 - got a "proper" job after Uni but decided it wasn't for me so decided to go back to Uni. Parents wouldn't fund me so again I had to work for every pen of the costs. Summer work paid for the costs of the Masters and accomodation

2002/2003: Age 21/22 - worked in a chipper 6 nights a week for the 1st half of my Masters, then spent the summer of writing my thesis working in Homebase 2 evenings and 1 full day per week selling garden furniture whilst trying to complete the most important part of my education. Did some weekend gigs with a band too which was the most profitable venture.

2003 onwards - successful career travelling the world. However, it was tough getting to that stage when working as a teenager/early twenties student :mad:

So, OP - if I was you I would ask your daughter to get a job. You could supplement her with 20 to 30 euro per week. This money you supplement here with will avoid situations where she has to go knocking on her friends doors for slices of bread and a lump of cheese when hungry. Been there, done that, got the XS tshirt from extra skinnyness.

There is a happy medium somewhere. One of my friends would get 200 euros per week(!) from his parents. Others would have grants. I had none of these and had to slave away in sh!tty jobs.

/draws breath
/ends rant

Best of luck with the decision.

pauljw11

candy19 wrote: »

I have been out working since I was 14 years old, do you not think its time she got a job??

I'm in college 5 days a week for the past 3 years or more and I currently have two part-time jobs! I wouldn't ask my family to support me once I have started college, had to completely fend for myself and its the best thing I ever done!

I think I need to re-iterate that she has a part-time job, at which she works 20-40 hours per week depending upon what is available. As I mentioned "unfortunate" things happened last year that meant she knocked up some debts, she does seem to have learned her lesson and got her act together this year, and especially in the present economic climate we feel it better that she continues in college . We have agreed that every cent she earns goes to pay off the debts, and in the meantime we will give her a "reasonable" sum of money. We don't think it is right to pay for frivilous things, but we don't expect her to go round in rags eating brown rice either!! The question is what is a reasonable amount.

Nevyn

I think a reasonable amount means to cover her expenses so get her to cost them for you.