Mustard - The Uncomfortable Truth

DrArroway

Dear Mustardphiles,

I come here for a singular purpose. For years I have been silent on this matter. For years I closed my eyes and ignored the assertions of my peers. The universality of their claims seemed to be a matter of absolute fact, indisputable. The mere idea of dissent was pure lunacy or, worse still, heresy! The voice of reason was silenced, the children indoctrinated from birth to believe something that their senses utterly refute! But so pervasive is this notion that mustard actually tastes good that even the senses themselves are overruled! I cannot in good conscience continue to tolerate this denial of rational and culinary truth!

Mustard tastes horrible!

I urge you to open your eyes and your taste buds! Finally say how you truly feel! Admit to yourself that you've been living a lie! Together we can make a tastier world for all.

The truth will set you free.

Yours most sincerely,

Dr. Arroway
Leader of the Movement for Culinary Truth

Tallon

Mustard is the cum of the gods.

How do you eat a hotdog? It's not possible!

DrArroway

It's that sort of assertion that I'm talking about. I have eaten many hot dogs so clearly it is possible. And semen would not be my first choice of condiment... but thank you for illustrating my point :cool:

Tallon

I find it near impossible to believe that you were able to consume a whole hotdog without the smothering of Colemans Mustard all across it's bappy goodnes.

Please provide pictorial evidence of such claims

Sarky

Please do not. I have no wish to see a naked hotdog. The very thought of a mustardless hotdog, it's... It's worse than child porn, worse than Josef Stalin, Benito Mussolini and Sarah Jessica Parker combined.

You, DrArroway, are a sick individual. I urge you, seek help. If not for your sake, then for the sake of all those hotdogs you violated. Please, don't let this rot spread!

DrArroway

Then you who is closed minded avert your eyes!



I myself would not eat such a hot dog. Ketchup would be a must for me! But perhaps this will open your minds to the freedom of choice afforded to you once you realise the truth about mustard.

Johro

DrArroway wrote: »

Then you who is closed minded avert your eyes!



I myself would not eat such a hot dog. Ketchup would be a must for me! But perhaps this will open your minds to the freedom of choice afforded to you once you realise the truth about mustard.

Oh holy sh!te it's hideous...

Tallon

*Reported for posting such filth

Dravokivich

DrArroway wrote: »

Dr. Arroway
HERETIC

Fixed yer sign!

who the fug

Good, that means there be more mustard for the rest of us

Johro

I don't know... Coming in here with three posts to your name and spouting filth like that to upset us peaceful, mustard loving folks...
It's an affront. It's shameful. Probably criminal.

Scarydoll

Mustard is freaking awesome.

t0mm13b

I LOVE mustard......


put loads on ham and eat it.... sure it'll make me eyes water... but by golly.... it's worth it... - ever try eating a raw red chille pepper....

clears the chesty mucus feeling......

Jumpy

Wasabe.

Johro

Jumpy wrote: »

Wasabe.

No need for name calling here.

RichieC

Ham cheese mustard toasties... I mean seriously.. get a grip OP.

jefreywithonef

It's no mayonnaise.

uch

Durty fecker posting naked pictures on a family forum, BAN HIM I SAY

DrArroway wrote: »

Then you who is closed minded avert your eyes!



I myself would not eat such a hot dog. Ketchup would be a must for me! But perhaps this will open your minds to the freedom of choice afforded to you once you realise the truth about mustard.

Sarky

Jesus people, stop quoting him, you're only reposting that disgraceful picture!

FTGFOP

Lapin

FTGFOP wrote: »

More




MORE

FTGFOP

Chi-town, I miss thee.

Tallon

FTGFOP wrote: »

Fap

Johro

jefreywithonef wrote: »

It's no mayonnaise.

Jefreywithonef.... Mayonaisewithonem.

jones 19

I'll find you Arroway.

Johro

Johro wrote: »

Jefreywithonef.... Mayonaisewithonem.

'n'. I mean 'n'. :cool:

jefreywithonef

It's amayonnaizing.

Beruthiel

I'm watching you lot.
And judging.
Just so you know.....

uch

Beruthiel wrote: »

I'm watching you lot.
And judging.
Just so you know.....

iLikeWaffles

DrArroway wrote: »

Dear Mustardphiles,

I come here for a singular purpose. For years I have been silent on this matter. For years I closed my eyes and ignored the assertions of my peers. The universality of their claims seemed to be a matter of absolute fact, indisputable. The mere idea of dissent was pure lunacy or, worse still, heresy! The voice of reason was silenced, the children indoctrinated from birth to believe something that their senses utterly refute! But so pervasive is this notion that mustard actually tastes good that even the senses themselves are overruled! I cannot in good conscience continue to tolerate this denial of rational and culinary truth!

Mustard tastes horrible!

I urge you to open your eyes and your taste buds! Finally say how you truly feel! Admit to yourself that you've been living a lie! Together we can make a tastier world for all.

The truth will set you free.

Yours most sincerely,

Dr. Arroway
Leader of the Movement for Culinary Truth

Seen this forum and thought I'll just have to post saying how bad mustard taste's mustard is muck but thankfully a new thread wasn't needed. Mustard is terrible...

FTGFOP

Take leave of this place, iLikeWaffles. The Acolytes of Mustard will not tolerate any more of these blasphemies!

krd

iLikeWaffles wrote: »

Seen this forum and thought I'll just have to post saying how bad mustard taste's mustard is muck but thankfully a new thread wasn't needed. Mustard is terrible...

We will find out where you live......we will hunt you down, and kill you...We will take your wife and children...and we will raise them as our own. They will have mustard on their cornflakes, they will mix mustard in their tea. They will have mustard flavoured ice cream.

And you will be nothing. Not even a bad memory.

iLikeWaffles

krd wrote: »

We will find out where you live......we will hunt you down, and kill you...We will take your wife and children...and we will raise them as our own. They will have mustard on their cornflakes, they will mix mustard in their tea. They will have mustard flavoured ice cream.

And you will be nothing. Not even a bad memory.

I'll be waiting, waiting with my crew...

Beruthiel

iLikeWaffles wrote: »

Seen this forum and thought I'll just have to post saying how bad mustard taste's mustard is muck but thankfully a new thread wasn't needed. Mustard is terrible...

This is a mustard appreciation forum.
Please be advised that I will have no option but to ban your sorry ass if you disrespect mustard again.


Oh, and krd, threats of violence, even in defence of our mustardly goodness, is never the best option available to us connoisseurs.

Matt Le Tissue

Having only recently discovered the joy that is MUSTARD, I can only look back on all the wasted years of my life, all the naked hot dogs, all the mustardless sandwiches, all the various and glorious foods that I let pass me by, all because of my stupidity.
But no more, you have before you a convert, a zealous convert indeed!


Make Mustard Mandatory!

Balmed Out

You could like waffles so much more if you just added mustard....

iLikeWaffles

Balmed Out wrote: »

You could like waffles so much more if you just added mustard....

Its the speaking kind of waffles I like!

Theshooter2012

You must be trying mustard with a shovel to much mustard on one thing is not nice but on a rasher sandwich with real butter on one slice and a few dabs of mustard on the other with just freshly cooked rashers is just undiscribibly lovely. :D:D:D

Beruthiel

Welcome to the Mustard Forum Theshooter2012, you will go far here with that attitude.

Johro

Damn you and your mustard hating ways.

Robert333111

Doesn't it depend on which mustard though? The "American" style one is, quite frankly, not hot!
However, the (dare I mention it here) "English" style mustard is both hot and tasty - though not to be consumed in large amounts on its own unless one seeks oral repercussions! And those French mustards - so "wet and wild"!