Ardscoil Rís

RonMexico

Looks like we have a lot of former Ard Scoil inmates posting here so why not have a thread about the place. Some of the stories and characters out of Ard Scoil are legendary.

There is a Facebook Group with some unbelievable stories - my favourite has to be the one about Punky going on holidays to Costa Del Sol - there is a photo to prove it.

Amazotheamazing

Best school in Ireland!

kilburn

The best i remember is when we were at hurling, rugby and soccer matches and we were losing the chant would start...
We won blackboard jungle.......

DarkJager

Punky going to Boston, buying loads of jeans and then finding out they didn't fit him.

Bogman, telling us how German lost a vote to become official language of the US by 1 vote. The little tear that trickled out of his eye was priceless.

Bogman (again) having to save Punky by picking him up in his car after the 6th years chased him across the bridge into town.

Br Benny asking people for a crisp from their packets of taytos and then eating the whole bag to himself.

Clifford nearly crying his eyes out after someone hid his books in the bin. Also happened another day after discovering his car was covered in bird ****.

L.T.P.

One Mr. T.Smalle breaking a t-square off a students head in the corridor, his morbid fear of the Russians, and rumours of a stuffed cat he called "Tiger" on his mantlepiece at home.:D

CiaranMT

Gonna hijack this thread and see who here went to Munchins? :P

EDIT: You Árd Scoilians seems to have had nutjobs for teachers!

highlydebased

Like I said in the other thread some of my fondest memories are of Sugrue. He calmed down alot in my later years there.

Wasting entire classes with Rita Hayes talking about everything and anything. ("Miss, did you watch the late late?")

Queuing up outside Duck Martin's office for a late slip, saying "the bus broke down", haha. He was a legend. "I'll bury you, thank you!"

Kennnedy saying "Sorry, excuse me please" when he bumps into a bin.

Insect Overlord

Leaving Cert English, Doc showing us "My Left Foot" on DVD for the comparative texts study.

Up comes the scene with Christy and family in the restaurant. Christy gets himself a triple whiskey and starts drinking it through a straw, until Doc suddenly pauses the DVD. He walks up to the top of the class, slowly, eyes on the screen the whole time. He stands under the TV, raises one hand.

"You see that there? He's drinking whiskey through a straw. Great way to get drunk fast, that."

Un-pauses the DVD, sits back down and puts his feet up on the desk in front of him.

Spudmonkey

kilburn wrote: »

The best i remember is when we were at hurling, rugby and soccer matches and we were losing the chant would start...
We won blackboard jungle.......

We had colour TVs was another one. Remember this being shouted when we were playing some crowd from Tipp.

Or how about Looby looking for Danny Glover and Mel Gibson over the intercom.

RonMexico

So many stories about Punky Madden

One day he asked one of the lads for a loan of a compass. Then he spent the whole class cleaning his nails with it, having first spent a good ten minutes picking his nose.

I must have wrote out the business studies book about 6 times between 1st and 3rd year.

Clifford - Never forget the day one of the lads, Fitzy, got caught imitating him. He was singing YMCA in Cliffords voice for the class during lunch break. Clifford caught him rotten and proceeded to call him a sneak for a good ten minutes while the whole class fell around the place laughing.

Seamo telling us all about drugs instead of teaching us Irish.

Brother Benny sitting on a lump of chewing gum and then rubbing his ass against the wall in an effort to get the gum off his pants.

Spending all of religion class throwing pieces of tinfoil at Benny. The aim was to get it into his jacket pocket without him noticing. He never noticed ha.

Looking up the dictionary to find really difficult obscure words so we could ask Benny what they meant. He always knew too!

highlydebased

Insect Overlord wrote: »

Leaving Cert English, Doc

"You dont do this shít, I cant teach you this shít, ya dig?"

Dicey for JC English

"Take out the dics lads" (dictionaries, I hope)

banie01

Bobby Byrnes!!! Lunatic of a man pulled me once for talking in class when I genuinely hadn't opened my mouth!
I tried to explain that he was mistaken....He went off on one saying''Are you calling me a liar!!!!'
I said 'No Sir, but you are guilty of a terminological inexactitude' He called me a cheeky little **** and told me not to attempt to bandy words with him before throwing me at the wall!!!

Looby!!!! Another lunatic! Was in late one morning and he caught me! Bollocked me for being late and having long hair....Told me make sure it was cut next time he saw me!
About a week later I was walking past him with it tied up in a high ponytail with an undercut(Short back and sides) and the sniper lamped it and cut it off!!!

Marie....We were doing human reproduction and Marie goes'During every ejaculation upto 200 million sperm are released....Now boys, why do you think this is?'
Putting up my hand and saying'Cos you might be firing a few blanks amongst the herd' was well worth the trip down to see Mickey .

Christ the memories! Fantastic School with great craic and some fantastic characters! Even down to pricks like a certain bullying prick of an English/History teacher who smacking in the chops made my J.C year bearable

cackhanded

banie01 wrote: »

Bobby Byrnes!!! Lunatic of a man pulled me once for talking in class when I genuinely hadn't opened my mouth!
I tried to explain that he was mistaken....He went off on one saying''Are you calling me a liar!!!!'
I said 'No Sir, but you are guilty of a terminological inexactitude' He called me a cheeky little **** and told me not to attempt to bandy words with him before throwing me at the wall!!!

Looby!!!! Another lunatic! Was in late one morning and he caught me! Bollocked me for being late and having long hair....Told me make sure it was cut next time he saw me!
About a week later I was walking past him with it tied up in a high ponytail with an undercut(Short back and sides) and the sniper lamped it and cut it off!!!

Marie....We were doing human reproduction and Marie goes'During every ejaculation upto 200 million sperm are released....Now boys, why do you think this is?'
Putting up my hand and saying'Cos you might be firing a few blanks amongst the herd' was well worth the trip down to see Mickey .

Christ the memories! Fantastic School with great craic and some fantastic characters! Even down to pricks like a certain bullying prick of an English/History teacher who smacking in the chops made my J.C year bearable

Did I hear that prick died or is that just wishful thinking on my part? And if he did, was it as slow, horrible and painful as he deserved?

kilburn

that person in question is alive and well as far as i know keep my opinions to myself though:mad:

RonMexico

This thread needs more Timmy and Punky stories.

padma

kilburn wrote: »

that person in question is alive and well as far as i know keep my opinions to myself though:mad:

That person in question got a 3000 euro fine each to the two women he raped in galway. Got 5 years off the road because he used his car in the vicious attack, he was driving around in a brand new car less than a year later.

Remember Timmy's bottle of medicine. I need to take my medicine, I need to take my medicine, run to the corner of the class opens a little medicine bottle with whiskey in it and starts flying around the class in his cum soaked pants. Why did they inflict that man on a bunch of kids is beyond me.

banie01

padma wrote: »

That person in question got a 3000 euro fine each to the two women he raped in galway. Got 5 years off the road because he used his car in the vicious attack, he was driving around in a brand new car less than a year later.

An absolute joke! I was in Galway at the time he attacked those ladies playing in a tournament he was reffing.
I was aware of the arrest and when news broke he decided it was me who let the cat out of the bag!
He proceeded to attack me in the middle of class so I decked him!
Went straight down to Mickey who in fairness given the possible outcomes for myself of expulsion handled it very well!
Never mind what would have happened the teacher!
Although saying that I did change schools for L.C

padma

banie01 wrote: »

An absolute joke! I was in Galway at the time he attacked those ladies playing in a tournament he was reffing.
I was aware of the arrest and when news broke he decided it was me who let the cat out of the bag!
He proceeded to attack me in the middle of class so I decked him!
Went straight down to Mickey who in fairness given the possible outcomes for myself of expulsion handled it very well!
Never mind what would have happened the teacher!
Although saying that I did change schools for L.C

The morning it was on the front page of the star and the sun posted on the notice board brought a lot of whispers around that school. He was a sadist, had it out for me the first day in his class. Says to me are you such and such's brother, I am. Crucified me daily, slandering, getting me to touch my toes while he skimmed my arse with his steel ruler. An absolute pleb if ever one walked.

banie01

padma wrote: »

The morning it was on the front page of the star and the sun posted on the notice board brought a lot of whispers around that school. He was a sadist, had it out for me the first day in his class. Says to me are you such and such's brother, I am. Crucified me daily, slandering, getting me to touch my toes while he skimmed my arse with his steel ruler. An absolute pleb if ever one walked.

Thats an absolute fact! A bully of the highest order!
That said when I stood over him telling him bite my tit after I clattered him he stayed down whimpering
Should have been jailed for what he did to some pupils never mind those poor girls!

padma

banie01 wrote: »

Thats an absolute fact! A bully of the highest order!
That said when I stood over him telling him bite my tit after I clattered him he stayed down whimpering
Should have been jailed for what he did to some pupils never mind those poor girls!

You weren't Mickey's daughter by any chance?

If only I had of had the balls to have done that at te time I would have. However after telling the ould man about him. The father advised the only way to beat him was to get 100% in all his assesments. Fortunately for me History was my subject. I shut up said nothing in his class, never raised my hand, pretended to his amusement I was dumb. When the tests came around 100%. A big f u to him and his snide remarks.

kilburn

saw him hang a lad out the window when we were in second year on the top floor by the art room, evil bastard

padma

kilburn wrote: »

saw him hang a lad out the window when we were in second year on the top floor by the art room, evil bastard

By the legs I bet!!

banie01

padma wrote: »

You weren't Mickey's daughter by any chance?

If only I had of had the balls to have done that at te time I would have. However after telling the ould man about him. The father advised the only way to beat him was to get 100% in all his assesments. Fortunately for me History was my subject. I shut up said nothing in his class, never raised my hand, pretended to his amusement I was dumb. When the tests came around 100%. A big f u to him and his snide remarks.

Nope! I wasn't (At least I hope not....Mickey did like me Ma :P)That was a reference to one of the injuries he inflicted in Galway...
And in fairness what I did to him was self defense! He pulled me out of my desk and tried to stand on me like!
And well done on sticking it to him academically!
Suprised he didn't try to mark you down!

padma

banie01 wrote: »

Nope! I wasn't (At least I hope not....Mickey did like me Ma :P)That was a reference to one of the injuries he inflicted in Galway...
And in fairness what I did to him was self defense! He pulled me out of my desk and tried to stand on me like!
And well done on sticking it to him academically!
Suprised he didn't try to mark you down!

Straight dates and names answers, no way of marking them down. He apparently very viciously bit their Tits and one of them was so traumatised she fled to England.

kilburn

do ye remember the song?
In galways fair city.........

cackhanded

kilburn wrote: »

saw him hang a lad out the window when we were in second year on the top floor by the art room, evil bastard

One of a number of traumas he inflicted on me in my time there.

On a lighter note, used to love the punishments handed out by Br. Casey. Whenever we were caught smoking behing the bike sheds at break he'd suspend us for the rest of the day! Cheers for all those half days Br.:)

Tefral

I remember we cut out a page three and glued it to the teachers desk when we had Maaaaarrrryy. She came in and left crying here eyes out.

Ducks came up then. I cant remember what happened after that.

Bobby Burns used to hate me, we had him as our year head in first year.

I remember myself and the lads spent three days out of class picking up rubbish with the little picker yokes. We'd go around with a bag and pretend to pick it up. It took them three days to cop on to the fact we werent in class ha ha.

Punky would walk into the class and lean forward and say to me go out there and pick up that money someone dropped. Id go outside and there would be a 1p coin and he'd tell me not to spend it all on one shop.

Another day he had us for civics, we were doing a thing on drugs. My mams friend was a nurse so i got one of those midwestern health board cards on all the different types of drugs and what they do. We had an essay to do on drugs so i chopped the cards up into the different drug types and stuck them into my copy book. He loved it. He used to teach the class then from my copy book. To this day the memory of Punky saying "disco buscuits" cracks me up.

The only teacher i had time for over there was Mr. Gilfoyle & DOC (he wasnt the same after his Daughter died), the rest were a pack of wasters.

I do remember thinking Gail O'Carrolls ass was savage though, I do remember by the time I had left it had gotten an awful lot bigger

padma

kilburn wrote: »

do ye remember the song?
In galways fair city.........

Left not soon after he got charged, plus on a side note, I was banned from all school outside activities. No rugby matches, hurling or anything. Cant exactly remember why it was so long ago..

Had a thing for Ms, Rita Hayes, oh them flashes of inner thigh she used to give the class gave me lots of fun times when a kid!!!

vkid

Anyone remember Marie.hogan..she got.an awful doing , blew a hole.in the cieling if the chemistry lab if I remember right,
Remember that teacher involved in the always thing alright. Proper prick, hated him

sioda

Amazed no one has mentioned a certain science and applied maths teacher that used to spend alot of time itching her boobs with a pen.

Bobby Byrnes legend of a man shown by how many people both who liked and disliked him who turned up to his funeral.

Timmy god where to start the ad in the local shop offering his two gold fish samson and delilah to a good home coz one of the lads
who used visit his place moved his stuffed cat tigger closer to the fish bowl every week.

As for bullying raping gimp could be posting for a week bout him

Shout for Spike he was good craic

Gayle and elaine bless em they made the stay there easier

RonMexico

Anyone remember Butterfield and McMahon (Siobhain?). About the only two decent teachers I had there.

Then there was Elaine Kelly. Didn't have her as a teacher in Ard Scoil but I had her for two years in another place for Geography. Sound and a little ride too:D

Remember all the lads dropping their pens on the floor whenever she arrived in wearing a mini:D

The_Dave

RonMexico wrote: »

Anyone remember Butterfield and McMahon (Siobhain?). About the only two decent teachers I had there.

Then there was Elaine Kelly. Didn't have her as a teacher in Ard Scoil but I had her for two years in another place for Geography. Sound and a little ride too:D

Remember all the lads dropping their pens on the floor whenever she arrived in wearing a mini:D

Ran into McMahon in Teds a year after I left the school, God she'd have got it:D, didn't Butterfield marry Larkin (I actually think well of Derek, I found him to be a good teacher, and he had no tolerance for the lazy feckers)

RonMexico

I think so yeah! Ted's eh? Must drop by soon hehehe (its closed though isn't it?) Ah well.

The_Dave

RonMexico wrote: »

I think so yeah! Ted's eh? Must drop by soon hehehe (its closed though isn't it?) Ah well.

This is well over 10 years ago dude:o, coincidentally I stumbled into Dympna Tobin's retirement party recently

RonMexico

Did you try it on with her too

The_Dave

RonMexico wrote: »

Did you try it on with her too

I'm not Shane Costelloe , There was a bit of talent at it, didn't recognise Elaine Kelly 'til she was pointed out to me

Spudmonkey

RonMexico wrote: »

Anyone remember Butterfield and McMahon (Siobhain?).

Remember Sheena (?), always had a soft spot for her. Hadn't the same fascination with McMahon though.

Saw Dessie there a couple of weeks back, remember getting him started talking about rugby and he'd keep it up for the full class. Had no attention span that man.

Mc Love

Ard scoil...pah - Clements FTW

seatrump

OK someone pm me the teacher with the rape thing. I must have known him. Was there from 84-89. Left Ireland in 95.

Timmy - ha ha.... Even at 13 I wondered how the hell he got a job. He was funny for T.D. but we had him for civics as well. We used to try to get him to lose his temper and hit people with T-Squares....

What was the math's teacher who thought honors maths? Was it Doney something? Got thrown out of his class for not knowing what Pi was..... Demoted to Clifford's....

Br Benny for Pass Irish. Had a love hate with Bobby Byrne. Got hammered by him one time but the guy loved his English literature. Could never hear a word he said except when he was shouting....

Spudmonkey

Mc Love wrote: »

Ard scoil...pah - Clements FTW

Get your own thread.

kilburn

Best school in Ireland !

The_Dave

seatrump wrote: »

What was the math's teacher who thought honors maths? Was it Doney something? Got thrown out of his class for not knowing what Pi was..... Demoted to Clifford's....

Houlihan.

Dessie's favourite word; Quagmire:D

ninty9er

Insect Overlord wrote: »

"You see that there? He's drinking whiskey through a straw. Great way to get drunk fast, that."

He never had much tolerance of me, seemed to stem from the fact he didn't have a tolerance for my dad when he went there, but a great teacher all the same.

Dicey's LC English double class after lunch on a Friday. It consisted of reading and dissecting Kevin Myers Irishmans Diary from the Times and an early finish to make sure he didn't get stuck in the Friday afternoon traffic.

Donie Houlihan. Excellent mathematician, crap at teaching maths. There was a guy in our class who always got the blame for making any sort of noise because Donie thought he knew his name. Got it wrong every time.

Dessie Harty thinking he could speak French because he had a vague idea of what "faux pas" means.

The stories could go on and on.

Myself and the other Ardscoil lads never met anyone in college who enjoyed their school experience as much as we did.

And the pedant in me is coming out...can someone change the thread title to Ardscoil Rís.

Insect Overlord

ninty9er wrote: »

And the pedant in me is coming out...can someone change the thread title to Ardscoil Rís.

Done.

RonMexico

ninty9er wrote: »

And the pedant in me is coming out...can someone change the thread title to Ardscoil Rís.

You can thank three years of Seamo teaching us about drugs instead of Irish for that mistake. :D:D:D

sioda

Met Paul Caff a few years ago in Galway sound bloke bought myself and the lad with me a pint.

RonMexico

I remember his brother telling me that I would never ever be able to do higher level Irish for the Junior Cert. I insisted on doing it to spite him and got a C. Then I took it for the Leaving Cert and also got a C.

To be honest though I hadn't a word of Irish - I just learnt it all off by heart to annoy Caff and prove him wrong.:D

sleepyman

Had Seamus Caf in first year Irish.Used to just come in and say he was too knackered from doing his play(the players or something)Claimed we would only speak Irish in the class (it's fair to say we did more english than Irish!!) or he'd say what he had in ruby tuesdays chipper (used to be up there in Caherdavin).God he was useless- I pity anyone who had him for Junior or Leaving Cert.



Catherine Casey and the number of days she'd miss(particularly after Clare's All Ireland wins in '95 & '97)-good teacher though.
People asking John Loobey where Jabudi was in business studies.

My Mum going into the parent teacher meetings asking where Mr Bogman was (I never called him by his real name when I was talking about him-Mum just assumed that was his name!!).I think it ws Rita Hayes who told her that was just a nickname for him!!

Bobby waxing lyrical about his hate of first years.He almost took a sadistic pleasure in it.Great teacher but a lad in my class (it was 2nd year 1994-95) was thrown out of the class because Bobby thought he was laughing at him or something.Had to bring in flowers and a card and everything.I think Ducks got involved aswell.All a bit strange really.

kilburn

another classic bogman line was "bring in your father and i will make your mother a widow"

L.T.P.

Get your bags and your baggage and get out

Debit the receiver and credit the giver

Theres a right way, a wrong way, and my way

Complements of Joe "Punky" Madden..

Don't forget about his "Official carrier bagger"

The_Dave

L.T.P. wrote: »

Get your bags and your baggage and get out

Debit the receiver and credit the giver

Theres a right way, a wrong way, and my way

Complements of Joe "Punky" Madden..

Don't forget about his "Official carrier bagger"

Shniggering