Straight guys going to a gay club/bar

pablomakaveli

Whats everyones opinion on this?

I ask because a friend in work who is gay was celebrating his birthday last week but was having it in a gay club. Most of the girls i work with often go to a gay club with him but me and another lad i work with never go out with them if they are going there.

I'm not homophobic but for some reason i just would'nt feel comfortable going in there. For one i would'nt feel like i should be there and secondly i feel uncomortable watching two men kissing or being affectionate. My friend said he does'nt mind though and does'nt seem to be offended by us not wanting to go there.

So what are other people's opinions?

Wolfe Tone

I would be in the same boat as yourself, dunno if it is the right word, but I would be to intimidated to go there.

RedXIV

I've been to one and have to say I enjoyed it. Kinda felt like I was a woman in a straight bar, with guys being flirty. Thought it was funny as hell and very light hearted. Was told alot of inappropriate things but apart from that the patrons were very welcoming.

Wouldn't go every night but If I had a mate that wanted me to go for his birthday or similar it wouldn't bother me

Penn

I almost ended up in The George for my 21st. Ironically, it was so my friend and I could ge with two girls. We were suggesting places to go but they said they were going to go home. Then my friend jokingly suggested the George and they said yeah, they always fancied seeing what it was like. So we walked up to it, and thankfully they didn't let us in cos it was regulars only that night or something. I didn't really mind going in, that wouldn't have bothered me. It was just the fact that it was my 21st birthday and I didn't want to spend it there.

Girls went home and I ended up in Coppers and got my 21 kisses (about 40 actually, we lost count so just kept going). Good times.

What were we talking about?

Antomus Prime

We went into one for a laugh in waterford when we were on a staggs last year and it was great fun. Like RedXIV said it felt like being a woman in a straight bar lol.

Now I wouldn't go just any nite, as above it would have to be for some occasion, but they dont make me uncomfortable.

Otis Driftwood

Ive been to the George or the Front Lounge a couple of times with one of my flatmates and have had great fun every night.Ive found the atmosphere to be much more relaxed than most bars Ive ever been in.Aside from seeing the occasional couple of guys or girls kissing eachother you wouldnt really know.One thing on the above comments,a couple have said that they felt like a woman in a regular bar,would ye mind elaborating on that as its something Im not quite understanding.

Antomus Prime

nedtheshed wrote: »

One thing on the above comments,a couple have said that they felt like a woman in a regular bar,would ye mind elaborating on that as its something Im not quite understanding.

As in getting chatted up by guys. It wasn't an issue though, a simple "Sorry mate but I'm straight" is all I had to say and they politley left me alone.

Knasher

I wouldn't go just for a laugh, it would have to be if one of my gay friends invited me, but after that it wouldn't really bother me all that much.

Of course to be honest it probably wouldn't really affect my chances one way or another.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Bizarrely I've been to the George 3 times for birthdays and been with a girl every time. And YES THEY WERE GIRLS!

As REDIV said it is like being a girl in a straight bar. Guys make eye contact but nothing aggressive.

I think the real reason straight guys avoid them is they don't want people to think they are gay - and for a time that was my reasoning.

Will

Went to the george years back for a mates of a mates birthday party. Didn't bother me much to be honest, even when I got my arse pinched. It is a gay bar so most/all people in there are assumed to be gay. The lads and women kissing didn't bother me either. Suppose I'm fairly laid back and not much freaks me out. However in saying that was a bit weirded out heading to the toilet. All the lads at the urinals were just blatantly peering over checking each other's manhood out.

krudler

Have been to a few with a friend whos gay, I usually wind up being his straight wingman lol. Most gay guys know if you're not gay anyway so its not like they'll be pouncing on you at every oppurtunity, gay people arent crazy deviants (well some of the ones i know are :pac: ) If you do get hit on just say you're straight, end of. You will see guys kissing and whatnot, same as straight people do in any nightclub, so if thats something you'd rather not see then you'd probably be better to not go

Giselle

pablomakaveli wrote: »

i feel uncomortable watching two men kissing or being affectionate.

You don't actually have to watch.:)

Galvasean

I probably spend more time in Panti Bar than any other bar in Dublin. Been to the George and Dragon a couple of times too. Don't see what the problem is. They're no worse than your average late Dublin bar/club.
I think a lot of guys are put off going because they think, for some reason, that they will get molested left right and centre by gay guys. Probabaly because that's how they go about coming onto women they like.

Actually, on one epic night I ended up in the George wearing a toga. Went with a friend (who is gay) and a friend of his (also gay). I managed to score (a girl!) that night, while neither of them could score. They got some slaggings over that let me tell you! :pac:

krudler

Actually on a side note about the being hit on thing, I was in San Franscisco for Halloween and we went to the Castro (gay district) for it, it was a great laugh but there were some pretty agressive guys coming onto some of the lads on the tour, one of the guys we were with was a personal trainer so he was well put together, needless to say he got groped a few times, laughed it off the first couple but then some guy try to grab his crotch and he shoved him away, was a bit of a scuffle as well. granted thats a severe example but any other time I've gone out to a gay bar or anywhere where theres a few gay guys they've always been civil, funny as hell to hang around with as well.

OldGoat

Gay clubs are like any other club, some are great, some are aweful yet even the awful ones are friendly, tolerent, relaxed. Getting hit on, rare as it occurs is an ego boost and disproving the myth of 'Gaydar' always amuses me.
Think of the oppertunity as a (self) confidence building exercise. Perhaps you are anxious because you are inexperienced in the situation so why not get that experience.
Broaden your horizens, your views, your tolerences. You'll meet people you like (platonically. )

BigDuffman

I worked in a few gay clubs during the college years (As a bouncer..in before comedians suggest go go dancer or backDoorman). I'm 100% straight and I can safely say it was the best craic I've ever had in working clubs. There's very little of the bullsh!t you have to put up with in straight clubs, like loutish / agro behaviour.

Lads wearing the face off each other is a system shock at first. But the shock and awe quickly wears off! One mistake a lot of straight guys make going in first time around is making the silly assumption that all gay men will fancy you and be all over you. This is not true (unless your incredibly handsome..like myself :P). Same way you walk into coppers and dont drool over every rotter in the place.

Someone might try it on, which is fair enough. Its a gay club...but most of them should be able to tell just by the awkward way in which your hugging the wall! Others will get great kicks out of winding up the awkward straight guy! Laugh it all off and have a giggle with it.

The shows are hilarious and make a great change for a night out. The best point about gay clubs, strangely, is the abundance of HOT women. There are loads of unattended straight wimminz. Bear in mind that a lot of gay lads can be found in the following professions...Hairdressing, Air hostesses, dancing, make up artists, modeling. (not suggesting that this is the norm)

All of the above professions tend to have a high percentage tastey ladies! They can all end up in a gay club on a staff night out etc. BOOM! Immediately you've got something in common due to the unique environment.

Chips Lovell

Is it any more weird than a gay guy going to Coppers?

Bobby42

I was at a gay nightclub a few weeks ago with a few friends. I wasn't sure what to expect but it turned out to be a great night. there were men kissing each other but it didn't bother me at all. I thought it would be awkward if a guy started to chat me up but no one went anywhere near me!:o

pablomakaveli

pablomakaveli wrote: »

I'm not homophobic but for some reason i just would'nt feel comfortable going in there. For one i would'nt feel like i should be there and secondly i feel uncomortable watching two men kissing or being affectionate. My friend said he does'nt mind though and does'nt seem to be offended by us not wanting to go there.

I am not sure refraining from going somewhere because you might see something you do not want to see is that good a reason in my opinion. For example I really do not like seeing people incorrectly spell words like would’nt and could’nt like here… but it does not keep me off the forum. :P

Seriously though, joking aside, I am in bars like that all the time. A slightly unusual home situation in my own relationship has inevitably led me to meeting and befriending many people in the gay community and so I have many friends I end up going there with.

As it happens I very much enjoy going there. The atmosphere is more my style. It is not only gay people nor is it only men. The great thing is that when you talk to a girl there she assumes you might be gay and so does not jump to the assumption that you are talking to her for the reason most guys talk to girls in bars. I therefore find conversation much more relaxed and enjoyable. Often in a “normal” bar when I turn and talk to a girl I can almost see a wall of suspicion going up instantly.

Further because most guys are not there trying to pull women going on the dance floor is a much more pleasant experience. The comical strutting and posturing many guys engage in to attract a mate is nearly absent and I find myself able to dance on a dance floor without guys around me acting with a maturity that leaves one ashamed to be a member of the male gender. Ok a bit tongue in cheek, but there is some truth in it.

I do not find myself being hit on either. The majority of the men there can spot the straight punters instantly. Let’s face it, the average gay on the town dresses better, preens his feathers better and… frustratingly… dances a lot better than the average straight guy. They can spot us a mile away.

The problem is that if you did start avoiding places because there are things there that might put you off if you saw them would, if followed to it’s conclusion, probably lead you to never going anywhere. I for example have no interest in seeing grossly over weight people kissing, just like the OP does not like to see men kissing. The possibility of seeing that in “normal” bars is always there, but it does not stop me going to them and alas it is a sight I see frequently while there.

The trick is (and it is a simple one) if someone is doing something you do not like to see in a bar…. do not look. Simples!

Handsome Bob

Will wrote: »

] However in saying that was a bit weirded out heading to the toilet. All the lads at the urinals were just blatantly peering over checking each other's manhood out.

Ya I heard about that, needless to say I'd be using the cubicles. :pac::pac::pac:

Never been to one, wouldn't have a problem going to one.

Will

I was disgusted at my other male friends who attended the birthday party to be honest. They made a joke of having their arses to the wall, which is possibly funny first time round but then it got old. I got very aggravated at them and told them if they didn't wanna be here to fook off and stop moaning and try enjoy the night.

Yeah it was sort of funny in the toilets, if i was gay i'd do the same tbh, can't blame em

Galvasean

I suppose if it was women whipping out their goodies it'd be hard not to look.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Galvasean wrote: »

I suppose if it was women whipping out their goodies it'd be hard not to look.

Lying on the ground in a cubicle will probably get you a stilletto to the face mate:D

Rubik.

Inadvertently ended up in a gay club/bar while on a bit of a pub crawl in Camden Town a few years back. Nobody took a blind bit of notice of me, felt vaguely insulted.

CdeC

hey Lads,
just get my two cents in. I'm a gay lad and when I first went out to a gay bar and see two lads groping eachother was weird. Not sure why but probably only because I had never seen it really. You get used to it very quickly and eventually you barely notice it. I think straight lads do find the novelty of being lusted after in a club fun and most times I've been out and met straight lads or have had friends out they've had a great time and most people are 100% respectful but again like anywhere you get the odd as*hole who will try to take things too far.
Also Straight guys have an extra unattainable factor for gay lads which is a huge turn on for some.
Gay lads and straight lads act very similarily on a night out to be honest. Drinking too much/trying to score/ some banter with the lads/ a drunken messy dance/ Sloppy burger ....home.

tbh

mate of mine in work used to organise a club night - powderbubble at the pod, used to go - fantastic nights, no hassles, no aggression, generally scored (with girls), just a really happy, buzzy night. Never got groped or chatted up (maybe that's just me ) never saw anything out of the ordinary really.

the lads that cause all the hassle in regular clubs - the lads that are insecure about themselves, drink to deal with it and then get all agressive etc - would never dream of going to a gay night. result!

seamus

Went to the George once with a couple of boardsies. A feckin lifetime ago at this stage. It's just a pub at the end of the day, it's not like gay men are a different species. Gay men have no more interest in chatting up straight men than straight men have chatting up lesbians.

I was a bit nervous when I went in (don't know why), but an extremely camp guy who was with us told me not to worry, I "oozed" straightness. Just relaxed and enjoyed it like any other pub then tbh.

Think of it like any other club - you wouldn't stare at a guy and a girl wearing the face off eachother (and it's usually confined to the corners), so you won't see much of it in a gay bar either.

Wolfe Tone

Seems to be mostly positive experiences, next time I get invited I will have to go. Surprised at how many guys say they got with women at them.

seamus

Indeed, I have to add that I've been to normal pubs several hundred times at this stage. I've been to gay bar once, and it's the only time I've seen a random woman's naked boobs wandering around the pub.

Knasher

seamus wrote: »

it's the only time I've seen a random woman's naked boobs wandering around the pub.

Which sounds awesome until you realize that the rest of her is still at the bar.

tbh

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

Seems to be mostly positive experiences, next time I get invited I will have to go. Surprised at how many guys say they got with women at them.

I hope this doesn't offend anyone but I have a theory on this. I'm married now, so obviously blah blah blah, but when I was single, I'd say I got with a randomer for a one-night stand maybe five times in my entire life, and three of those times was at a gay night. I genuinely think that the palpable reduction in aggression - I mean that as a physical sensation by the way, it's incredible - makes women feel more relaxed and more open to approaches, or making approaches. That, and you'd have to assume that women who go to gay bars are more open minded than other women, means dear diary: JACKPOT!

I don't mean that in a derogatory way AT ALL by the way, I'm not in anyway saying that a woman who doesn't want to be with me is all uptight and snobby - I just think there's something about the environment that just makes everyone happier.

LegacyUser

I don't really understand why someone would feel uncomfortable watching two guys kissing. Yeah, it's a bit "different" the first time you see it, but it's really no different to a guy and a girl kissing.

Gay bars IME are the same as any other bar, except that if you're good looking, barmen will actively serve you first, rather than the girl with her tits hanging out

Galvasean

I rarely get come onto in gay bars. It must be obvious to the gay men that I am straight.

Yes..

That's it...


>_>

Handsome Bob

Galvasean wrote: »

I rarely get come onto in gay bars. It must be obvious to the gay men that I am straight.

Yes..

That's it...


>_>

I have the same problem in straight bars.

:pac:

pablomakaveli

After reading about other posters experiences i'd actually be more open to going into a gay bar now. It actually sounds better in some ways to any other pub. No aggro from drunken langers and better chance off scoring with the women. Win-win.:D

BopNiblets

Sticky note with "Not gay" on your forehead, badabing.

Just make sure it doesn't fall in the jacks!

Fad

I'd be more comfortable going to a gay bar/club and seeing guys scoring than I would be walking into coppers and seeing people in GAA jerseys riding >_>

Dord

No problem going to gay bars. Been to a few in Dublin and one abroad. They're just bars though. I've had trouble in a regular bar with a guy trying to chat me up (and not taking no for an answer) but no trouble in a gay bar.

Panthro

About 8 years ago, a few mates got an acoustic gig in a pub in Galway. So we all headed up to support, as you do. Bucks up from the country all land into a gay bay.
Wasn't so bad after a pint, but then we begun to wonder what the socially accepted rules of the toilet were! Did men have to go to the jacks together, should we go it alone was we would normally, would we get chatted up while having a slash, all sorts of funny situations for the bucks from the sticks to deal with.
We got to see two girls shifting:eek:, sure we had no choice but to stay sitting after that!:pac:

Glenster

An evening in the Dragon is the only respite I get from the legions of women plagueing me. It's hell.

Bottle_of_Smoke

tbh wrote: »

I hope this doesn't offend anyone but I have a theory on this. I'm married now, so obviously blah blah blah, but when I was single, I'd say I got with a randomer for a one-night stand maybe five times in my entire life, and three of those times was at a gay night. I genuinely think that the palpable reduction in aggression - I mean that as a physical sensation by the way, it's incredible - makes women feel more relaxed and more open to approaches, or making approaches. That, and you'd have to assume that women who go to gay bars are more open minded than other women, means dear diary: JACKPOT!

I don't mean that in a derogatory way AT ALL by the way, I'm not in anyway saying that a woman who doesn't want to be with me is all uptight and snobby - I just think there's something about the environment that just makes everyone happier.

That's a good point I hadn't thought of it. Maybe another element is that a straight guy might feel relaxed in a less macho man environment. Many straight guys are interested in things which may be considered unmanly or worthy of a slagging. Cooking or fashion for example - they may feel more comfortable discussing these topics in a gay bar type environment and therefore find it easier to simply be themselves. Which is one of the top things women find attractive.

Also a good looking straight girl would get considerably less male attention in a gay bar than a straight bar. Therefore will be more receptive to conversation or flirting. They'll also observe you being checked out or approached by others which may make you appear more attractive.

Reward

Ive used to go to gay clubs and bars quite a bit, back in the day, good times.

Lamb_of_God

I've started going to a certain gay bar in dublin(I'm male btw), I had the usual hang up. But surprisingly I had alot of fun, It's alot less intimidating than i thaught it would be, in fact it's the opposite. People are alot more friendly and no one has all this "I'm a man, i'm drunk so i'm gonna go start on some one for no other reason than im drunk" attitude. And the drag queens are well entertaining.

All in all i recommend the George. It's great craic...unless u don't like getting hit on by the same sex.:D:cool:

itsallaboutheL

I had a gay housemate a few years ago, used to head out with him and his friends every so often.

Without a doubt some of the funniest nights i've ever had, great craic altogether.

Also, girls are way more approachable, you get the oppertunity to actually talk to them alot more, i don't think i've ever gone to a gay club where i didn't have a great night and end up with a girl.

Highly recommend it.

woolymammoth

without having read much of the thread, i think you'd have to be awful insecure to feel uncomfortable in a gay bar.

I've a few gay friends, and i've been out to the George and the Panty bar and had great craic. I even pulled a chick in the George (yes, it was a real gurl!) It would be a very rare occassion, they're not my kind of place, bit flamboyant and all that. But for friends, you occasionally go where they want to go. Doesn't matter where that is to be honest (unless it just sh*t!)

The Snipe

I personally find that in the 'Gay Bars' you get the best craic of any clubs/pubs I'd go to.

killerking

I go to straight bars and straight clubs because there are more likely to be straight women looking for straight men there.

pwd

I'm straight. I've been to the george. It was fun. I had a girl with me. No guys tried to have sex with me.

killerking

pwd wrote: »

I'm straight. I've been to the george. It was fun. I had a girl with me. No guys tried to have sex with me.

If a guy isn't gay and doesn't have a girl with him, going to a gay bar is pretty pointless.

Galvasean

killerking wrote: »

If a guy isn't gay and doesn't have a girl with him, going to a gay bar is pretty pointless.

Quite a few posters in this thread disagree with you. Heck, I'm one of them. I pulled a girl in the George (yesyesyes... it was a 'proper' girl).
Have a good read of teh full thread for similar stories.

Otis Driftwood

killerking wrote: »

If a guy isn't gay and doesn't have a girl with him, going to a gay bar is pretty pointless.

Why praytell?

Are you saying that me,or anyone else for that matter,shouldnt go to gay bars or clubs with their gay friends?

Last time I went to the George it was with 3 gay guys and a gay girl,Im currently single so didnt have a girl with me,why was that pointless?

Cos I wanted to hang out with my friend and have a laugh?



Should gay people not go to straight bars unless they have another gay person with them?