what would you do?

LegacyUser

Fiance recently broke off our short-lived engagement. Suggestions as what's best to do with the ring?

Silverfish

Give it back.

skooterblue

Silverfish wrote: »

Give it back.

I am in favour of handing back based on Karma. however as he rejected you, you are entitled to keep it. There is absolutely no chance of reconciliation? In the given situation return it and cease contact.

TheresaT

Sorry to hear about your engagment . I'd agree that giving back the ring is probably the best thing to do.

http://www.modern-manners-and-etiquette.com/broken-engagement-etiquette.html

LegacyUser

Ordinarily I'd agree, but....on a purely financial level, I've spent the cost of the engagement ring and more, on him over the last 2years. So we'd be about even if I kept/sold it, others have advised. But....I'm still wavering& think maybe it's a bad idea?

calibelle

What do you want to do? Are you ready/do you want to give it back? Has he asked for it? It's completely your decision, some women choose to give it back and others dont.

LegacyUser

Not really. I'm tired of always being the "bigger person" & "doing the right thing", when all the other person has given me is hassle& abuse in return. It's gotten me nowhere thusfar with him except being treated like a fool. Plus, I'm the one who's had to face everyone& return gifts. And he hasn't asked for it back, he hasn't contacted me at all.

28064212

wheretogofromhere wrote: »

Ordinarily I'd agree, but....on a purely financial level, I've spent the cost of the engagement ring and more, on him over the last 2years. So we'd be about even if I kept/sold it, others have advised. But....I'm still wavering& think maybe it's a bad idea?

Without him spending anything on you?

amiable

I think its a really bad idea for couples to be counting how much they've spent in the relationship but i suppose thats not what you asked.
I'd just give it back to be honest. Clean break and move on but you need to decide yourself cos you know the whole story better than anyone else. Best of luck

Redpunto

DId he pay for it in full? If he broke it off, you keep it and do with it what you want. If it was a mutual break-up, sell it and give him half.

LeahK

In my opinion you should hand it back..an engagement ring is like a deposit or contract that you will one day get married... I dont think its really yours until you tie the knot.

For your own sanity I would get rid of it too, it will always be a reminder of him and this bad time for you. Forget about it, Forget about him, hand the ring back and try your best to move on..

Sorry to hear about your breakup OP

thefeatheredcat

sorry to hear that it's worked out that way

Give it back simple as, let him decide to do with it. You've returned gifts etc, which is very decent for you to have done and faced people humbly by yourself. Continue being the bigger person, i think somehow it will serve your conscience well given that he hasn't contacted you at all, yet it would be a finality of it all in giving it back.

In any case, it is not compensation for the misfortune that has happened and neither is the money that can be generated from its sale. Nor is it compensation for time, effort, energy, emotion and money put into the relationship and should not be considered as such, for those kind of things you give, but give freely, without expectation of return on investment or want imo.

It would however be a reminder to you if you keep it, which is what the money would be of what has failed and been lost. Let him keep that reminder and do whatever he likes with it. At least you can walk away free from anyone thinking badly of you or judging you harshly in keeping it/selling it.

Blatter

Hold on to it for another couple of months and see if he asks for it back...How long have you been apart?

If he comes looking for it, have a discussion about it and decide between the two of you. If he dosen't come looking for it by then, it's yours to do what you want IMHO.