Are women turned on visually?

Wompa1

Hi Guys,

I'm not a woman so sorry for intruding on your space but this is one I wanted to direct at women only. I was wondering are women visually turned on at all?

I guess that would mean, ya know if ya see a good looking guy working with his shirt off are you turned on? If you watch porn does it turn you on? If your other half is naked does it turn you on etc.?

Just curious. Thanks.

P.S I am not doing a study or anything like that. This is plain old curiosity.

bronte

Yes, very much so. The written word does a heck of a lot for me too, but visuals are also good.

Wompa1

Sorry realised you're meant to usually give your own input but I'd rather womens opinions so I won't vote.

I think that women are turned on visually. Not sure why it's so popularized the notion that they don't. Is it an excuse or something?

Wompa1

bronte wrote: »

Yes, very much so. The written word does a heck of a lot for me too, but visuals are also good.

Thanks for giving me some insight.

It's popular belief that women NEED foreplay. Is your visual stimulation not enough?

Really I'm asking because a girl I was with said she needs more than just foreplay. She'd like candles and other environmental stuff.

I was a little offended because I thought although nice to have it shouldn't be necessary but what do I know

LegacyUser

Not sure why it's so popularized the notion that they don't. Is it an excuse or something?

I think its just a case of women being less obvious when checking out a guy, we're more subtle.
Also I think men are more turned on by the obvious, like the old cliches of "great boobs" or "flat stomach" or "great bum/legs", with women i think (well for me personally at least) i find less obvious things a turn on, like the hint of a guys nice arms/shoulders under a tshirt sleeve, or a little bit of chest hair showing under a guys tshirt...suspense is a turn on

bronte

Wompa1 wrote: »

Thanks for giving me some insight.

It's popular belief that women NEED foreplay. Is your visual stimulation not enough?

Really I'm asking because a girl I was with said she needs more than just foreplay. She'd like candles and other environmental stuff.

I was a little offended because I thought although nice to have it shouldn't be necessary but what do I know

I think every woman is different.
There are no set rules.
This girl is telling you she needs the mood to be set long before anything happens. She enjoys the build up.
Foreplay is something that can start waaaaaaaaaay before you get near the bedroom. I think you have to get really comfortable with it.
I get the feeling you are viewing it as a "task" and that's not a good way to view it.

As for the notion that women aren't visual creatures...really not sure where that comes from.
Maybe once upon a time they weren't but a lot of them sure as hell are now!

Wompa1

bronte wrote: »

I think every woman is different.
There are no set rules.
This girl is telling you she needs the mood to be set long before anything happens. She enjoys the build up.
Foreplay is something that can start waaaaaaaaaay before you get near the bedroom. I think you have to get really comfortable with it.
I get the feeling you are viewing it as a "task" and that's not a good way to view it.

As for the notion that women aren't visual creatures...really not sure where that comes from.
Maybe once upon a time they weren't but a lot of them sure as hell are now!

I'm not really viewing it as a task. We haven't had much sex and I reckon it could be because the attraction isn't there any more for her. I know she has had one night stands with randomers before so I can't see what else it could be that could be causing the problems.

panda100

Hell Yeah!
One episode of True Blood, which has a lot of male nudity, and Im all hot and bothered!
Porn doesn't do much for me because Its predominately aimed towards men, and being straight I just don't get turned on by women.

bronte

Wompa1 wrote: »

I'm not really viewing it as a task. We haven't had much sex and I reckon it could be because the attraction isn't there any more for her. I know she has had one night stands with randomers before so I can't see what else it could be that could be causing the problems.

Not so sure.
If the attraction isn't there for her anymore it's hugely unlikely she'll be mentioning things like candles etc.
Glad to see you aren't viewing it as a task. Nothing is more of a turn off.
Like I said every woman is different...some don't require candles and the like...others do. Don't be offended!
You should weigh up in your head whether you like this girl enough to make the extra effort or not.

Ectoplasm

For me the answer is yes and no. I appreciate mens body's in an aesthetic way but the mere sight of a nice face/body is unlikely to get me 'in the mood'. If I am already somewhat turned on, it will definitely add to it, but it's rarely enough to spark the flame so to speak. From discussing this with partners and friends, I think it's different from the way that men are turned on visually.

To be honest, my brain needs to be engaged which is why erotic fiction is more of a stimulant for me than straightforward porn. With the former, my brain gets to engage, with the latter I find that most of it is a bit too blatant and mechanical. It's not that I don't enjoy it at all, it's that other things are more effective. So overall I'd say yes, women are turned on visually but from what I understand, not to the extent that men are.

Chuchoter

I'm a very visual person in general, I think almost entirely in pictures about everything :P I don't particularly like porn because its just so fake and annoying and I feel sorry for all the girls in it so it doesn't do much for me now most of the time.

iguana

panda100 wrote: »

One episode of True Blood, which has a lot of male nudity, and Im all hot and bothered!

Hey wait a minute! Weren't we promised a Bill and Eric 'encounter' this year.:mad:

Though I guess the Eric/Talbot scene was titillating in it's own way.

liah

I find it hard to get physically turned on from sight-- like another poster said, if I'm already turned in, it accelerates it, but it would be very difficult to get me going on simple visuals. There'd need to be some other kind of stimulation.

Porn does little for me, I can't take it seriously at all. I just end up giggling. :pac:

Wompa1

This actually spurned me to text her about it, which is something I don't like doing. Texting about something like this is crappy but there ya go, Gotta use what I can. A few months ago I used the word frigid....she says she's still upset over it. I honestly didn't mean it as an insult, I thought that was a term used for a woman that doesn't desire or enjoy sex...it hurt her anyway and she says it's put her off sex more.

Now I only said it a couple of months ago and we've barely had sex in the 20 months we've been together..so I think although maybe she was offended that this is just an excuse.

She has refused to talk to a counseller about it. I don't know what else we can do.

bronte

liah wrote: »

I find it hard to get physically turned on from sight-- like another poster said, if I'm already turned in, it accelerates it, but it would be very difficult to get me going on simple visuals. There'd need to be some other kind of stimulation.

Porn does little for me, I can't take it seriously at all. I just end up giggling. :pac:

I find the plots a bit crap! :pac:

Maple

Wompa1 wrote: »

This actually spurned me to text her about it, which is something I don't like doing. Texting about something like this is crappy but there ya go, Gotta use what I can. A few months ago I used the word frigid....she says she's still upset over it. I honestly didn't mean it as an insult, I thought that was a term used for a woman that doesn't desire or enjoy sex...it hurt her anyway and she says it's put her off sex more.

Now I only said it a couple of months ago and we've barely had sex in the 20 months we've been together..so I think although maybe she was offended that this is just an excuse.

She has refused to talk to a counseller about it. I don't know what else we can do.

OP, i'm starting to think this thread might be better suited to Relationship Issues based on the above post.

If you're asking a generic question, we can let it stay here in TLL but my spidey senses are tingling in relation to this one.

Maple.

Faith

One word: Yes.

Wompa1 wrote: »

Thanks for giving me some insight.

It's popular belief that women NEED foreplay. Is your visual stimulation not enough?

Really I'm asking because a girl I was with said she needs more than just foreplay. She'd like candles and other environmental stuff.

I was a little offended because I thought although nice to have it shouldn't be necessary but what do I know

Visuals and thoughts are more than enough for me. I'm not interested in foreplay, generally. I'm all about the actual intercourse, and the thought of that being about to happen is enough. Foreplay for me is just wasting time when we could be getting down to the good stuff. And as for candles and things? Who's thinking of that when you're having sex?! Once or twice I've had candles and romantic music, and the only time I noticed was during the afterglow.

Asphyxia

liah wrote: »

I find it hard to get physically turned on from sight-- like another poster said, if I'm already turned in, it accelerates it, but it would be very difficult to get me going on simple visuals. There'd need to be some other kind of stimulation.

Porn does little for me, I can't take it seriously at all. I just end up giggling. :pac:

Yes I agree if I'm already turned on then porn can drive it up but when I'm not porn doesn't do much. I find my boyfriend can turn me on easily from the ways he looks like in the morning or after he gets back from work.

Every women is different though just like some men will be.

Wompa1

That's ok. Thanks for all the replies ladies.

It can be closed if you'd like. All I wanted out of this was an answer to the can women be turned on visually. Faiths answer is interesting as I was lead to believe there had to be more for women otherwise sex would be too painful.

Faith

Wompa1 wrote: »

That's ok. Thanks for all the replies ladies.

It can be closed if you'd like. All I wanted out of this was an answer to the can women be turned on visually. Faiths answer is interesting as I was lead to believe there had to be more for women otherwise sex would be too painful.

Many women need a bit more, sure. Just because I'm ready to go at any given moment in time doesn't mean every woman is!

SugarHigh

No they pay €1200 for a dress because the fabric is durable not because it looks nice.

Wompa1

Faith wrote: »

Many women need a bit more, sure. Just because I'm ready to go at any given moment in time doesn't mean every woman is!

I know, I get it. I actually enjoy foreplay myself. I just struggle when it comes to the likes of needing candles lit or something like that. I get how it's nice to have but I don't think it a necessity ya know?

Wompa1

SugarHigh wrote: »

No they pay €1200 for a dress because the fabric is durable not because it looks nice.

Women get aroused by what they wear? And men are meant to be dirty randy old gits!?

Maple

SugarHigh wrote: »

No they pay €1200 for a dress because the fabric is durable not because it looks nice.

Despite your multiple warnings, i'm just not sure you understand TLL.

Enough is enough.

Banned.

Maple.

Dudess

SugarHigh wrote: »

No they pay €1200 for a dress because the fabric is durable not because it looks nice.

Women have sex with dresses now? How intriguing...

Maple

Dudess wrote: »

Women have sex with dresses now? How intriguing...

Only if there are no sequins tho. Worse than sand for getting into crevices, itchy little blighters.

Konata

As most others have said - every woman is different. Personally, I do get turned on by visual things but I don't think I could get going by that alone. There has to be some sort of physical foreplay too.

Candles etc. are really romantic but there not something I *need* for sex. I'm lucky though cause I can get going fairly easily but many women aren't like that. Some DO need those candles, the lingerie, appreciative comments and gestures, extra kissing and longer foreplay. The important thing is to be relaxed. If a woman is just not in the mood, or feeling tense and nervous, it's not going to be enjoyable for her.

I think it's about learning - both for women themselves, and their partners. Women need to know what turns them on and that only comes through experience and trying new things! If you don't like porn, why not try erotic fiction? If you find yourself a bit dry, why not try various types of lube? Maybe you need a certain environment and atmosphere? Once women figure out things they enjoy, they can pass this knowledge on to their partner. It's also important to experiment and not get disheartened if something doesn't work out - relationships are all about learning

Lia_lia

Yes.

Yeah, I definately get turned on by visual stimuli. The guy I'm seeing ATM has a way of moving that never fails to remind me why I'm attracted to him. (It's kinda like a swagger, but a little more graceful. It's not even that he's being cocky - it's just the way he moves naturally)

Dudess

This really does depend on the individual. In my case, hmmm... I'm not really sure. Like, that Spartacus porno... I mean, mainstream television show is full of buff, semi-naked men and that alone really does nada for me. However, the scenes when one of them gets time alone with his lover and they're so in love etc - that depicts him as her alpha-male protector yadda yadda and that would be more my kinda thing turn-on wise. But again, it's not really how he looks, it's how he's engaging with the woman (not sex alone, mere interaction).

As for porn, I only like the softcore stuff which straddles (sorry) the line between love-making and ****ing. And like EMF2010, I LOVE erotic literature. I love the tender stuff but I also love the stuff that's kinda "nasty" (if not too much). I've always, since a very young age, had HOT fantasies and dreams, so I suppose it's the non visual I'm more geared towards, yet any aesthetic pleasantness is a nice bonus.
That's not to say I'd NEVER pay attention to looks - of course I would - but usually it's more what I personally find hot-looking, rather than the Cosmo cliché. Very occasionally, the obvious image of a buff, naked guy will make me go "Phwoar!" but it's rare. I think the guy that caused me the most unwholesome thoughts ever was that guy who swam across the Atlantic to say sorry to his pal with a pint of Guinness. Pretty hot, but not in a Beckham way. Most of the time it is personality, charisma that hooks me in.

Foreplay? Depends on the woman definitely - some of us who don't require a huge amount to get turned on still think it's the absolute biz!

As for the notion of men being more wired to focus on the visual, I don't know. Maybe it's more that, as someone else said, the female form has more obvious aesthetic aspects to appreciate, whereas with a guy, it's whether he has a fit torso (which you can't really see anyway unless his top's off) and sometime his arse, but that's about it. When there's breasts, waist, hips, arse, legs... not comparing like with like.

Candles and music etc - bit cheesy in my opinion. I love the idea of it just being about two people who are so into each other physically and emotionally (or just physically) that they don't require aides. But that's just my take on it.

Ickle Magoo

Turned on visually, yes - but turned on more when there is sound/smell/touch/taste involved too.

I like erotic literature, I like amateur porn, I have a good & horny imagination (I sometimes orgasm as a result of hawt dreams with no manual stimulation at all) and one of the things I love to do is exchange stories of our darkest, deepest fantasies with my partner. Foreplay, meh, depends on my mood...sometimes it acts as a great edger, other times it's an unnecessary aperitif to the good stuff. Candles and music does zip for me; it feels contrived, over-planned and a bit too mills and boons to make me feel sexy. I like impulsive sex best.

In answer to your question I think it depends on the woman, how she's feeling at that time and what the visual stimulus on offer is.