uninvited thoughts

LegacyUser

Long story short,had a bad break up 15 years ago,girlfriend left for someone else because I wouldnt marry.


all healed and moved on,married with 2 great sons.2years ago ex turned up in my local chatting to my friends etc.I wasnt there.My local is hundreds of miles out of her way.

I keep running it through my mind,why what did she want etc.It is the first thing I think of most days and I cannot get her out of my mind.I am over the relationship,truth be told I wasnt in love with her but why cant I stop these thoughts.I wonder is it guilt because my life turned out ok and hers isnt great from what she told someone.

Suppose the question is how do I get her out of my mind

Colonel_McCoy

Hello

there is no future in the past. There is no point worrying about her, you have a family to look after and she left you.

Zen65

Mid control wrote: »

I keep running it through my mind,why what did she want etc.It is the first thing I think of most days and I cannot get her out of my mind.

Perhaps she wanted to mess with your mind; and she has now, maybe?

Fight back, start your days thinking of the loves you have, not the ships that crossed your way all those years ago. It's easy to get something out of your mind if you fill the available space with something else, something worthwhile.


Be at peace,


Z

28064212

Just to recap: 15 years ago, you and this girl called it a day. 13 years later (13!), she visited your town. She didn't talk to you. Is there anything to suggest that she was looking for you? Did she ask after you? Did she try in any way to get in contact with you? Do you have any idea why she was there?

You say it's hundreds of miles out of her way. How do you know? Have you been in regular contact with her? Do you know where she lives, what she's works at, who her friends are, where she was travelling from and to on that day? Any of those factors, and dozens more besides, could be why she was there, nothing to do with you.

I could understand if she had turned up 2 days ago, and you were wondering if she was looking for you. Thinking about this for 2 years is fairly bizarre behaviour OP

LegacyUser

OP here

Zen thank you,that is the object of my post,there is nothing for me in the past and I know that,most of the problem lies in the fact that I now work as a delivery driver and spend lots of time alone in the lorry with my own thoughts. I suppose I am looking for ways to regulate what my mind focuses on.

28064212. I live in a tiny village on the West coast.Nobody accidently wanders in here.I realize its bizarre behaviour thats why I am asking for advice :-)

Chicago Chick

Colonel_McCoy wrote: »

there is no future in the past. There is no point worrying about her, you have a family to look after and she left you.

Couldn't agree more with this post. I think you are best to leave this in the past, as you said yourself you are married with 2 great boys. I reckon even though you said you didn't love her it may be a little case of "what if ?" with you, as in if she had not left how would things be different now. I know all our minds can wonder like this at times but I really would try not to dwell on it if possible.

28064212

Mind Control wrote: »

OP here

Zen thank you,that is the object of my post,there is nothing for me in the past and I know that,most of the problem lies in the fact that I now work as a delivery driver and spend lots of time alone in the lorry with my own thoughts. I suppose I am looking for ways to regulate what my mind focuses on.

28064212. I live in a tiny village on the West coast.Nobody accidently wanders in here.I realize its bizarre behaviour thats why I am asking for advice :-)

Do you have an answer for any of the other questions I asked? Is there anything to suggest her visit had anything to do with you?

alo1587

By any chance do you suffer from OCD? It could be the obsessions part of the disorder taking over your thinking of her?

lau1247

could it be that she was just visiting the places she had been in the past.. i.e. she had good memories there..

Doesn't sound like she have any motive