Need advice on a sensitive issue....

nickersop

:(I have been going out with a new boyfriend for a few months and It was a big deal for me because Im one of those people after the first great love brike my heart I hated men for a few years!!Anyway I found a guy who I fell completely head over heels with and all barriers came down and I feel great....that was until I noticed something unusual downstairs growing put it down to waxing, ingrown hair etc but it spread and I diagnosed myself with the help of the internet as genital warts....ugh!I kept telling myself that I was wrong until I went to the doctors who confirmed it..I know there is alot worse to catch and I do realise I am being a tad over dramatic but I am really angry and hurt and I dont know why, he obviously didn't know he had it, he shows no symptoms but I automatically blame him and its coming between us, I constantly think about how many sexual partners he must have had and that how careful I was and it didn't matter in the end because now I have this for life and it's really affected me. He is not the greatest talker in the world but I have sat down with him and spoken to him, he's so apologetic and I trust that he got this before we met, so why do I keep fighting with him??:(

Any advice?

Scarinae

Just because he had genital warts it doesn't mean that he has had millions of sexual partners, even if you've only slept with one person you could be unlucky and catch it from them. He didn't know that he had it and he's probably mortified. I don't know what advice to give you though, since I haven't any experience of this - was the doctor supportive?

nickersop

It was kind of matter of fact with the doctor, I didn't go into..''how i was feeling and stuff'' I always think doctors don't have time for stuff like that it was examine yeah thats what it is here's a cream blah blah. Im usually quite laid back about most things and things rarely affect me but I have to say this has thrown me and deep down I know blaming him isn't exactly the way to deal with it, but its my insecurities creeping in. He has been away with lads a good few times a year in Thailand before and after he met me and I keep thinking about it terrible I know!

a new story

nasty! if hes a bit of a scruff get rid of em.scope out his bedroom see how he lives mite give ya a clue what hes like i dunno, or he could be just an unlucky chap like yourself gettin it of sum1 else that he was with.how does it start?

rainbow kirby

Moved from tLL to RI.

Scarinae

Maybe try the personal issues forum, the people there are so helpful and might have better suggestions for you... I'm sorry that I can't help more. I know it would be easy to tell you not to blame your boyfriend, but it's easier said than done if you think he gave it to you.

He should probably get checked out though even if he has no visible symptoms - there must be a test, since it is caused by the HPV virus?

Scarinae

a new story wrote: »

nasty! if hes a bit of a scruff get rid of em.scope out his bedroom see how he lives mite give ya a clue what hes like i dunno, or he could be just an unlucky chap like yourself gettin it of sum1 else that he was with.how does it start?

It's transmitted by a virus called HPV; just like regular warts, it has nothing to do with personal hygiene.

LegacyUser

Hi, Im sorry to hear what has happened to you. Its an awful time you are going through, I know as I helped a friend who went through similar.
From what we discovered you will always carry it and the warts can come out in times of stress etc. So you freaking out might make them come out.
I hope you went to the clinic and got a full test? People dont realise that you can get warts even when using a condom.
It is done now, and as you say he could have had this from before he met you. You will never know otherwise unless he admits to doing things after you met.
I know its hard not to blame him, but if you feel different towards him it may not be worth the effort. And I personally would not be happy with him going to thailand wth the lads!
Hope things work out for you.

Axe Rake

nickersop wrote: »

He has been away with lads a good few times a year in Thailand before and after he met me and I keep thinking about it terrible I know!

What happens in Thailand doesn't always exactly stay there.

I don't mean to be cruel by saying that however a lot of lads go to Thailand for the " ou'l craic " if you know what i mean.

Could be possible he picked it up over there without noticing. I am just guessing at this point but it could be what happened. Also some people can harbor warts(HPV) for years without any symptoms.

Hope you get on well and i'm sorry to hear what happened.

Emme

OP, get good medical advice for this.

I knew a guy who got HPV from the first girl he slept with.

28064212

OP, you say you automatically blame him and you think about how many sexual partners he's had because he has genital warts? You realise you're now in the exact same boat? Would you feel ok about all your possible future partners judged you the way you're judging him now?

No-one here can tell you whether he's trust-worthy or not, that's a decision for you to make. But him having warts doesn't make him any more or less trustworthy

a new story

burn down the village!!!

Nevyn

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