How could I have been so stupid?

LegacyUser

I had sex with a strange guy who also had sex with one of one of my flatmates and now I feel really used and really stupid. My friend knows about it because I spoke to her about this ‘amazing’ guy I met and we were both horrified to discover we slept with the same guy. I have lost faith in men as a species. Are all guys like this?
I'm 18 and I started college back in September.
I got friendly with a bunch of guys and girls on the first day and for the first few weeks we were going to parties, to the pub and clubs as a group and getting on really well.
I was very quiet a few months back when I was still in secondary school so this is the first time I really made friends in my entire life. I love my course and I have joined lots of societies and clubs and my social life has never been better.
Last week I was using my laptop on my own when a good looking guy in his mid-twenties (I actually saw him talking to my friend the week before when I was passing the same seating area and thought nothing of it) sat across from me reading a newspaper. He started a conversation with me by pointing at my grandmother's ring that I wear on my index finger and he was able to tell me all about my personality based on what finger I wore my ring - he was able tell me all about how coming to college had changed my life and he was able to tell stuff about myself I haven’t told anybody. He told me he was studying a PhD in English and we got talking about Jane Austen.
My granny has been dead for the past ten years but he was able to tell me so much about her - her name was Kathleen, she wore a brooch, she was very religious and sang in the church choir. The hairs stood up on the back of neck!
It was really weird at first but he seemed really nice. He ended up sitting next to me and started saying he knew about hypnosis, palm-reading and that he was a psychic. It seemed really interesting so I let him do a reading for me. He had his hand on my knee at the same time.
He was able to tell me loads of stuff about myself. I never really believed in this stuff before but he seemed very convincing.
He was holding my hand and looking into my eyes and my heart was starting to beat faster because of what he was saying to me. It was only after a while I found out his name - his name is Marco and from Poland - because he never introduced himself properly and he kissed me on both cheeks. Then he put his hands in my hair and kissed me on the mouth and we kissed for ages.

Anyway I gave him my number and he asked me out to the cinema last Wednesday night. I was going to the student protest in the city centre with my friends so I arranged to meet him later. I didn't tell my friends anything about it because it felt really exciting and because he was so mysterious I didn't want them to tell me not to meet him. He said I shouldn't let myself be persuaded not too - I know it sounds silly now! I feel sick thinking about it but I have to go on.
I met him at the cinema and we had a coffee while we waited for the movie to start - he claimed he got time wrong and we had half an hour to spare (I think that was his plan all along). He did more of the psychic tricks and he was able to interpret one of my dreams - I have had a dream since I was little in which I was falling and he told me it was because I was scared of being alone and losing control.
We ended up kissing a lot until the movie started.
I have only been intimate with two guys before but when the movie came on we were cuddling and things started to get sexual. After the film we went for a drink in a quiet corner of a pub and we were all over each other. I thought he was so nice and really sexy – he has amazing arms and chest and is really strong - and I was getting really turned on by the way he was touching me.
Eventually it was time to go home so he hailed a cab.
Just as I was about to tell the taxi driver to take me back to my student accomodation, Marco suddenly sat into the backseat and told him to take me to his address on the northside and before I could object we were heading off.
I felt a little trapped but he was soon kissing me and before I knew where I was we were at his place. He took me inside and up to his room because he said his pal who works nights in a supermarket was still sleeping.
My skin crawls when I think about it now!
I was a bit tipsy after the pub and he gave me a glass of wine from a bottle he had in his fridge and put on some romantic classical style music. We ended up kissing on the bed and he started to take my clothes off. I thought he was really nice but I told him to stop a few times but then he would start again after a while and go further than the last time. I'm not sure if I should have let him but before I could say no we were having sex. It felt really good and it was the best sex I ever had but I feel very guilty about it now.I getting butterflies thinking about it although I also feel like getting sick at the same time.
When I got back I was walking on air all the next day in college and later that evening I told my roommate about what happened. Since we started college it feels like we are sisters and we tell each other everything.
Her mouth fell open and she started crying. I asked her what was wrong and she showed me Marco's number on her phone. The penny dropped.
She says when she meet him last week he used almost the same tricks on her as he did on me. She also went to the cinema with him, they went to an Italian restaurant and then went to his place using the same taxi trick.
I feel really stupid!
We were walking to a lecture yesterday and we saw Marco talking to another girl like he hadn’t a care in the world. We were with our other friends so it would have been to embarrasing to confront him and have our friends find out. The guys will think we are total sluts who have sex with anybody. We both fancy one of the guys who plays rugby.
This slimy creep tricked us both so he could have sex and he probably had sex with the other girl we saw him talking too. Who knows how many women he has fooled. We are pretty sure he doesn’t know we are roommates or are on the same course because we compared notes about what we told him.
It's really creepy that this guy is going around fooling girls and having sex using deceit. I have lost faith in men.
My friend and I feel really used and I have cried myself to sleep ever since.
How could I have been so stupid? I don't know if I can ever trust a man again.

Cheap Thrills!

Did you use a condom OP ?

LegacyUser

It's really creepy that this guy is going around fooling girls and having sex using deceit. I have lost faith in men.
My friend and I feel really used and I have cried myself to sleep ever since.
How could I have been so stupid? I don't know if I can ever trust a man again

ehh what? fooling girls into having sex?
Come on now!
You willingly had sex with the guy!
He didn't deceive you!

He did more of the psychic tricks

So you bought into all that psychic bull....ehh thats down to your own naivety!

using the same taxi trick.

Ah here "trick" is a bit of a stretch! .... All you had to say was no, i want to go home take me to *insert location*!!

It felt really good and it was the best sex I ever had but I feel very guilty about it now

Look, it sounds like you had a great time with a guy who's very sexually experienced! Good for you, enjoy the memory!

So it was a one night stand, i don't really see the problem, why are you equating one night stand with "creepy guy who fools girls into having sex using deceit" ???!! Its madness..

I know you're only 18 OP but its not a crime to want to have sex with someone you find attractive, it doesn't have to lead to a relationship! sometimes sex is just sex! You don't have to feel guilty for having sex with a hot man!

Who knows how many women he has fooled

lol You can't fool someone into having sex with you!!

How could I have been so stupid? I don't know if I can ever trust a man again.

OP if one night stands aren't your thing well then maybe take the time to get to know the next guy before you sleep with him, but don't try and blame this man for your own guilt/naivety

JonathanAnon

I'm not really sure why you are blaming this guy for everything.. You had choices at all stages, and you choose to go along with what Marco was initiating.. .. He's certainly a "player", but you had choices at every stage and allowed yourself to be persuaded by a guy who is a complete stranger..

He started a conversation with me by pointing at my grandmother's ring that I wear on my index finger and he was able to tell me all about my personality based on what finger I wore my ring - he was able tell me all about how coming to college had changed my life

Sound like he read a book on cold reading ... college has changed your life??? College changes EVERYBODY's life.... He just took a look at you, worked you out from the way you look, dress and act... and then chose a suitable line.. did he say "you are hard working" or "you can be the life and soul of the party, but some times you like being on your own"... it's a ruse... but I guess you've worked that out now...

I think you should stop blaming him, but you should also stop beating yourself up about it.. If you've got out of this without being pregnant or contracting an STI (which you have hopefully), then I would just write it down to a lesson learned... I'm sure it's a little bit embarrassing, but hold your head up high.. You made a mistake, that's all... You will have forgotten about it by this time next year.. Good luck

trebor28

you say you didnt want to tell your friends cause they would only talk you out of it?

talk you out of what sleeping with the guy??

you were an innocent naive little girl who bought all his stories, you fell for it hook line and sinker!

having a dream about falling???
everyone has had one of those.

did he tell you he had a scar on your knee??
everybodys grandmother dies at some point.

he was only a creep after you had found out he had done the same to your roommate, what if you handt found that out??
would he still be a creep?

have you tried contacting him? is he avoiding all contact with you?

i would say he got all your info off your friend or your roommate, so nothing mysterious about him.

Cheap Thrills!

Yep OP the others above said it all. What actually happened was nothing much you slept with someone and enjoyed it. There's no need to be crying yourself to sleep about that.

Your only worry is did you use a condom? If so happy days, you're fine.

If not, then you need an STI screen and a pregnancy test.

What the guy did was plain old player stuff. It's a bit embarassing but you live and learn.

As for trusting 'men as a species' -they're just people all different. Your best bet is to let people earn trust over time rather than give it to them straight away by default. I would also say until you get more experienced and worldly wise you are better sticking to people your own age.

Good luck and get your STI/pregnancy tests done asap.

LegacyUser

Look, OP, you're in college now....the chances are no ones going to judge you since everyone else is doing it too.
He didn't know that the other girl is your roommate so it's not as if he was playing the two of ye off against one another. Chances are you weren't going to hear from him again anyway.
Don't take things so serious. You had sex with him, you liked it....no point in regretting it because you can't change it!

IrishEyes19

Op, I think the reason you're so upset is because the guy acted so "romantic" shall I say with how mysterious he seemed and the way he talked and obviously you were attracted to him. I think also its probably because leaving out the whole having sex and so on....the way you felt with him is how you'd like a relationship with someone to be like. so I think that bubble was burst when you discovered you werent the first and also that your friend had the same experience, it is a soul crusher I guess if you would have liked to see him again.

However, the fact is he is a player of some sort and on no means do you contact him again unless you want a repeat of this. I think you got away lucky really on the hope that he used protection. it could have been worse.

LegacyUser

I found one of the replies here a wee bit harsh [reality check1234], because you said "you can't fool somebody into having sex with you", and "don't try and blame this man for your own naivety"-well she quite obviously was fooled into sleeping with him, because it seems the only reason she ended up sleeping with him is because of all the shiite stories he spun her.

Yes she was naive, but ffs she's only 18 and to be fair it wasn't a regular run of the mill chat up line/flirting she fell for.
This guy is far from without blame, he made up elaborate tricks including talking to her about her dead grandmother ffs!

The op mentioned she was very quiet, and this is the first time she has ever made any friends. I think he sounds like the type of prick who just seeks out vulnerabilities in people, and this includes young girls who are just first years and possibly away from home for the first time.
I mean what is a phd student in his mid 20's doing, spinning lies to 18 yr old first years to get them into bed?
I don't care about the age, it's only the lies he's telling the girls, and the fact that they are new there that makes them abit vulnerable and him a creep to be honest.

Some people seem to be saying to just be happy she enjoyed the sex and to move on.
Yes she enjoyed the sex when she believed he was a genuine guy, but now her "stomach turns", and she "feels sick" and most likely used whenever she thinks of it.

So op don't beat yourself up over it. You have nothing to be ashamed about, because you didn't actually do anything wrong-well I don't see being naive as doing anything wrong anyways.
There are people older than you who have and will fall for far less elaborate chat ups than that creep's.

If it is still really upsetting you maybe have a quick chat with your college councellor. I think they are free in every college. Also get yourself checked out for sti's and pregnancy. These things should also be free and confidential at your college.

To answer your question:
NO-not all guys are like that. He sounds like one of the worst type of "players" a person could meet, but the majority of fellas will not be like him.
If you are looking for a boyfriend OR if you feel used after a one night stand, then just be a bit more cautious but please don't think that ALL fellas are like him.

You and your friend should warn your other friends about what he is like. You don't have to mention that either of you slept with him, just mention what his "psychic" chat up technique is, and then he will look like an idiot if he tries it on them.

So chin up girl, and don't let this ruin your college experience as everything else seems to be going good for you.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the advice.
My friend and I are going to get checked for STI's like ye said we should.
I couldn't sleep last night because I can't stop thinking about wonderful he was even though I know it was all fake.
Even though at the time, he swept me off my feet now I feel like I was raped. I completely fell for his tricks but I just couldn't help myself. It was like as if I lost control of my own body.
I feel really scared that he knows so much about me, that he knows what course I'm doing and I'm really scared that he is on campus and he is talking to other girls too.
It's like as if he some kind of hunter or something.
I feel really angry at him but at the same time if I confronted him I don't know if I wouldn't want him to kiss me and do the things he did to me before.
It's like he has magic powers or something.
If my mother ever found out I would never be able to look her in the eye again.
She is really religious and she would disown me if she found out I am such a slut.
I'm really really confused. I really fell for him but I hated him at the same.
I feel ashamed but if I met him again I would want to have sex with him again.
He's really scary but really exciting too.
It's driving me mad.
What should I do?

dolphin city

you are growing up - put it down to experience - its a big world out there and you are only beginning to know what real life is all about - you will definitely learn a lesson from it - move on from it - lots of people have stories like this - lots of people go through things like this - but thats life - and you learn from it - and soon you will be able to see one of these guys coming from a mile away - and you will call it experience.

You are not stupid.

There is a reason this guy is "hitting" on the new people in college - its because he knows well he can get away with it - and that ye will be naive. He wouldn't dare try it on someone that has not just left home and entered a new environment because they would tell him where to go.

just feel sorry for the guy - if thats what he has to do to get female company aren't you better off knowing now. Just pity him and don't blame yourself.

LegacyUser

found one of the replies here a wee bit harsh [reality check1234], because you said "you can't fool somebody into having sex with you", and "don't try and blame this man for your own naivety"-well she quite obviously was fooled into sleeping with him, because it seems the only reason she ended up sleeping with him is because of all the shiite stories he spun her.

No you see personally i don't think the OP was "fooled", Yes this guy seems like a bit of a pick up artist, but the fact that it worked is down to the OP being so gullible, as has been said most people have a grandparent who has died and most people have a dream about falling, and even a quick dream analysis google search tells me that these dreams mean "You are feeling overwhelmed and out of control in some situation in your waking life." He wasn't playing Jedi mind tricks with the girl!

She may try and make her self feel better by reasoning with herself that he "tricked her" and "spun her stories" but at the end of the day she slept with him because

he was so nice and really sexy – he has amazing arms and chest and is really strong - and I was getting really turned on by the way he was touching me.

I understand shes only 18, I'm honestly not trying to be harsh but sugar coating things doesn't help, but there's no crime in sleeping with a guy you find sexually attractive!

So op don't beat yourself up over it. You have nothing to be ashamed about, because you didn't actually do anything wrong-well I don't see being naive as doing anything wrong anyways.

I agree with you, but equally its not fair to say this "guy is a creep, who's fooling women into bed"
If the OP had never found out he'd slept with her friend, she's be none the wiser and would still think this guy was a hot sexy strong man.

My point is the OP can either learn from this and ask herself why is she so gullible that she fell for such an obvious player, or she can just blame him for "tricking her" and learn nothing from the experience.

As long as he didn't "trick" her into not using a condom well then happy days live and learn.

LegacyUser

Even though at the time, he swept me off my feet now I feel like I was raped

OP DO NOT even compare your experience to rape. Its so derogatory.

You willingly slept with the guy and admit that you would again, thats as far from rape as you can possibly get.
One false rape accusation and this guys life is destroyed.

I completely fell for his tricks but I just couldn't help myself. It was like as if I lost control of my own body. I feel really angry at him but at the same time if I confronted him I don't know if I wouldn't want him to kiss me and do the things he did to me before.
It's like he has magic powers or something.

Seriously OP if you can't even understand that its your own gullibility that has put you in this situation and are comparing it to rape then you have some serious issues with regards sex. Stop playing the poor victim and take some responsibility for your own stupidity.

Go see the college councellor and deal with these sex issues before you go near any man again.

What should I do?

Take responsibility for your own actions and get some professional help.

Walls

Yes, he is a creep and his problem with intimacy is that he can't get enough of it. But it really is down to experience. He fed you line after line, tried one gesture after another until you were physically comfortable with him, gave you every impression (bar actually saying it) that he was interested in you as a person, and then when he got what he wanted moved on to the next person.

Just to say, this doesn't make you a slut, it makes him a jerk. You fell for someone, thought he fell for you and spent the night together. Where in that were you sexually loose?

And Dolphin City is right, the guy is a bit pathetic. Feel free to dislike him, but don't give him too much thought, it would be like worrying about Mr Bean. What would be the point?

28064212

Brokenhearted789 wrote: »

Even though at the time, he swept me off my feet now I feel like I was raped.

That kind of exaggeration does you no favours and is horribly disrespectful to people who have gone through the trauma of an actual rape

Brokenhearted789 wrote: »

I completely fell for his tricks but I just couldn't help myself. It was like as if I lost control of my own body.

He doesn't have magic powers. He might be smooth, but you made all the decisions regarding your actions. Blaming it on someone else is pure escapism

Brokenhearted789 wrote: »

I feel really angry at him but at the same time if I confronted him I don't know if I wouldn't want him to kiss me and do the things he did to me before.

That's your issue, not something he needs to consider.

Brokenhearted789 wrote: »

It's like he has magic powers or something.

He doesn't

Brokenhearted789 wrote: »

I'm really really confused. I really fell for him but I hated him at the same.
I feel ashamed but if I met him again I would want to have sex with him again.
He's really scary but really exciting too.
It's driving me mad.
What should I do?

You have some serious thinking to do. You have your own issues with sex. Referring to yourself as a slut and 'ashamed'

What has 'Marco' done wrong in this situation exactly? Did he tell you he wanted a relationship? Did he commit to you before you slept with each other? Did he make promises that he subsequently broke? Did he lie and tell you he hadn't slept with your roommate? Did he infact do even the slightest thing that could be construed as morally wrong?

You made a decision to sleep with him. Yes, he had a routine that I'm sure he's used before, and will use again. So what? You and he mutually agreed to sleep together. If you don't want to sleep with someone until you know them, then don't. But don't start blaming someone else when you feel like you make a mistake.

Degringola

This guy is a sexual predator, no more, no less, preying on young naive girls. You can't expect an 18 year old to be wise to the way of predators, particularly as these things are never warned against in our PC world.

A nice little letter to the college authorities or his supervisor about his preying on young students might cause him to think twice. Having said that, he would probably just change his hunting ground.

28064212

Degringola wrote: »

This guy is a sexual predator, no more, no less, preying on young naive girls. You can't expect an 18 year old to be wise to the way of predators, particularly as these things are never warned against in our PC world.

A nice little letter to the college authorities or his supervisor about his preying on young students might cause him to think twice. Having said that, he would probably just change his hunting ground.

She is an adult. She might be naive, she might be inexperienced, but she is an adult. She is responsible for her own actions. If he had forced himself on her, or even if he had lied about his intentions, then she would have a case. He did not (based on the OP's retelling). He did nothing wrong.

He was out looking for sex. He found someone who was willing to go back to his for sex. There is no legal or moral grey areas here. The OP has her own issues to work on, but they're nothing to do with him

Degringola

28, we'll have to agree to disagree. She's 18 years old. How much life experience do any of us have at that age. Lamb to the slaughter.

Big Bag of Chips

You fell for a line OP.

You won't be so quick to make the same mistake in future. College is completely different to secondary school. In college you have to figure out lot of things for yourself...

Don't be too upset about it. You will meet so many different personalities during your time in college.. you'll soon be able to sort the genuine guys from the sleazes.

This fella was a sleaze.. you fell for it.

You should probably be slightly embarrassed by it, but you certainly shouldn't be crying yourself to sleep over him!

amdublin

I agree.

Do his actions make him not a nice man: yes
Do they make him a sexual predator/rapist: no

Should the OP be a little less naive: yes
Should the OP punish herself too much over this: no. Not a nice thing to have happened. Learn a lesson from it (sometimes people are not what they seem and have ulterior motives, in this case, sex) and move on from this.

Best of luck OP.

amdublin

Degringola wrote: »

28, we'll have to agree to disagree. She's 18 years old. How much life experience do any of us have at that age. Lamb to the slaughter.

Life's like that and I guess she has some more life experience now.

Walls

While she may not like his actions, and consider him beneath her, the very fact that she fears she still might sleep with him indicates that she likes him despite herself. I would argue it is a case of someone rather inexperience in private/sexual affairs being unprepared.

trebor28

op you are not a slut.

have you slept with every guy in your class?? no

are sleeping with a new guy every night? no

learn your harsh lesson and move on.


ps.
i would check out this guys legality in the college, are you sure he isnt just some guy floating around looking for naive girls?
i would doubt he was a phd student.

LegacyUser

Whilst I think it might be possible that a very very tiny amount of people in the world may have some sort of unusual ability, there are a hell of a lot of fraudsters out there too claiming to be psychic.
These types of people are normally condemned by the majority of people, for preying on the fragile emotions of people who have lost a relative or someone close, just to get their money, and these people are usually called charlatans and thought very lowly of.

Imo, this man is also a charlatan by claiming to have so much psychic knowledge about her and her dead relative, but instead of using this deception for money, he is using it to obtain sex from gullible young ones who don't have the maturity to see that they are being played.

It's very easy to say that maybe they 'should have known better', well some people are very street wise at 18, but there are also 18 year olds who are very innocent and have no previous experience of dealing with such people, or who have never heard much about these types of scams, so how exactly would they know any better?

Unfortunately these young girls have learnt the hard way that people like him exist.
They should remember what they have learned, but should not feel like they are stupid people, or "sluts" or ashamed over what happened.

I disagree that this man has done nothing morally wrong. I think that he is the only person who has done something wrong here.
He was looking for sex-nothing wrong there.
The girls slept with him-nothing wrong there.
He claimed to have knowledge about the young woman's dead relative in order to gain her interest and affection- there is something very wrong with that imo.

Whatever about feeding someone lines about how pretty they are, or pretending to have an exciting job or something ridiculous,-
when it gets to the stage where "chatting up" involves getting into the head of an impressionable young one, by talking about what would seem like deep stuff to them, including having some devine knowledge of their personality and knowledge of their deceased loved one's...
that imo is crossing a line.

OP I would advise against getting into contact with him again, for the simple fact that you are so upset right now, so imagine how hurt you would be when he does it again.

I will agree that you need to learn from this experience, and accept that yes you were played and remember it for again, but don't think that this makes you a stupid terrible person. You made a mistake, every single person in the world makes mistakes and learn from them.

You come across as very conflicted in your thoughts at the minute, because you feel guilty for enjoying the sex with someone who turned out to be not a very nice guy.

Nice people sometimes end up sleeping with people who turn out to be assholes or worse.
Try to separate the two. The sex was good- he as person turned out to be not so good.
That doesn't make the sex ye shared "dirty" or "wrong" on your behalf, and it certainly doesn't make you a 'slut'.

If you were a bit more mature I would probably say, "ah sure just see him again if you want and just enjoy the sex for what it is" as long as you didn't think there was anything more to it, then that would be ok.
However you seem very hurt and confused at the minute, so that is why I would advise staying away from him.

00112984

Degringola wrote: »

A nice little letter to the college authorities or his supervisor about his preying on young students might cause him to think twice.

Why should his college life be put at jeopardy because outside of lectures he enjoys casual sex? It's not a crime. The awful lines he used should be a crime but hey ho.

OP, while I'm sorry that you're upset I have no sympathy for you in this situation. You're an adult and had consensual sex with another adult. You both have sex for very different reasons but there's no law against that.

I'm a bit older than you and take it from me, there are so many men like "Marco" (a tenner says it's not his real name) out there. You just have to learn how to see past the lines and laugh them off. I've seen these men in operation; they literally buzz from one women to the next peddling the same lines until they get a bite. Trust me, in another year you'll be able to spot the Marcos in this world at 50 feet and will have mastered the sneer it takes to shoot them down.

There's nothing wrong with casual sex between two adults but it sounds very much to me like you're looking for a relationship. If that's the case, you're best off taking things slowly. The first few months of college are hectic and so many things are changing that you're probably a little off kilter. Give things a chance to slow down and then, if you meet someone, take that slowly too. I think you're having difficulty separating sex from love and, until you figure that out, you're probably best off avoiding hopping straight into bed with anyone else.

At the end of the day, I think you're upset because you convinced yourself that there was hope of a relationship and maybe you're upset at taking a dip in moral standards. Maybe a bit of you is cross for allowing yourself enjoy casual sex?

Bottom line is that Marco's a chancer. They're everywhere. You got burned but take it as a lesson. Chin up and move on and for god sake get yourself checked at an STI clinic and start carrying condoms around with you.

Whatever about crying yourself to sleep because you feel used, imagine how you'd feel if you were pregnant or had picked up something from a one night stand. Protect yourself physically and then work on sorting yourself out emotionally.

Zen65

Brokenhearted789 wrote: »

...Are all guys like this?
...How could I have been so stupid?

First of all, no, men are not all like this. Most men would regard Marco as a male slut, and not remotely representative of the male species.

As for "being so stupid", well I think you're being a little harsh on yourself. You can only learn this sort of lesson from experience. A smart person learns from the experience of others and avoids falling for the trick themselves. Maybe nobody ever told you there were men people like this and you have had to learn about it from your own experience. You can move on now, wiser for the event, and be sure to avoid this sort of thing in the future. Be sure to get that STI test, and perhaps a pregnancy test too?

I feel ashamed but if I met him again I would want to have sex with him again.
He's really scary but really exciting too.

Whatever you do, don't be tempted to confront him until you know for sure you won't simply fall for him again.

You need to get out and live a little, experience real, decent relationships, to know what these are like. There's plenty of decent people out there.

Understand that all he did was apply "cold reading" techniques to make it seem like he could read your mind. He didn't, and in fact he does not care about your mind; he was looking for a gullible person and there you were. Don't be that gullible again!


Be at peace,

Z

Degringola

Degringola wrote: »

28, we'll have to agree to disagree. She's 18 years old. How much life experience do any of us have at that age. Lamb to the slaughter.

I don't buy it. It's not as if OP was a naive virgin with no experience with men (as I was when I was in first year!). She described the sex as 'the best she'd ever had'. So sorry but the naive little innocent girl thing isn't washing with me.

I have a real problem with OP using words like 'tricked' and comparing this to rape. Sure, the guy was smooth and sure, it was all part of his routine. But there are plenty of guys like that out there. Most girls just avoid them, either through common sense or learning through experience. Yes, he's quite a creep and a player. That isn't illegal. I find it hard to believe that an 18 year old in the year 2010 has never been warned by her mother or other relative/friend/teacher that some men will go to great lengths to get their leg over. At the end of the day, what has he done wrong? Used some cheesy lines? Purposely got her a bit drunk? Same thing many guys do, this one was just exceptionally good at it. The friend thing is irrelevant, he may not even have known they were friends, and if he did, so what? Yes, it makes him a bit of a pr*ck, but college is full of people who have slept with groups of friends.

The only part I do agree with is that he may not be who he says he is. Marco isn't even a Polish name.