Porn addiction

LegacyUser

Hi, I think I am addicted to porn. I am a single 25yr old guy. The thing is I look at porn for roughly 3 hrs a day, thats if I have the time, if not it would be for an hour or so. The most disturbing thing is that I am viewing things that would have turned my stomach a while ago i.e. shemales. I am defo not gay and I feel quite disgusted with myself for viewing this stuff but I cant stop. Any tips/opinions on how to stop? Thanks.

28064212

There's nothing wrong with watching porn, even fetish porn (shemale porn would be a common enough one btw). Watching porn for an hour is no worse than playing single-player video-games for an hour, or watching tv on your own for an hour. I know I'd rather watch some porn than some mind-numbing sh*te like the X-Factor. Where porn is an issue is when it's having a negative effect on the rest of your life. 3 hours a day is a lot of your time to be spending on it, that you could be using for other things. If it's causing you to have unrealistic expectations of sex, or you can only get sexually excited by porn, then you're going to have problems in any relationship.

Try replacing the porn with something else. Take up a hobby, like learning the guitar or juggling. Or go to the gym or for a run, if you're physically exhausted you're less likely to want to masturbate. Cut the porn back to once a day for 30 minutes, then once every two days

Penn

So long as the porn you're looking at isn't illegal, there's no problem with what you're looking at. I'd imagine that looking at so much porn, you're bound to want to watch different things rather than just normal straight porn all the time.

However, as the previous poster said, 3 hours is a long time, and could be better spent. If you're happy spending that long looking at porn, then it's fine. But I'd say cutting down will help you maybe learn a new skill, or get fit by exercising, and will also make porn less of a hobby and more of a treat

Like the others are saying, the issue is not that you are looking at it but the length of time you are devoting to it. There is nothing wrong with being a consumer of it, but like anything you have to control the usage.

You say in your OP that you only look at it for 3 hours if you have time. This is a good sign, because there are addictions that people indulge in whether they have time or not. This means your addiction is not so bad right now.

The question is why DO you have 3 hours to waste on porn? That is the crux of your issue here. If you are sitting around doing nothing then you will not be able to quit. You will try to stop looking at it… you will find yourself sitting there with nothing to do… and you will relapse pretty quickly.

Instead, forget about trying to “cure” the addiction. Keep looking at porn whenever you have nothing better to do. In the meanwhile however address the fact that you DO have nothing better to do. Find out why, find out what you could be doing instead, and get to it.

Involve yourself in more things around you, especially out of the house and away from computers connected to the internet, and the Porn problem will quickly sort itself out without you doing anything about it.

LegacyUser

i thought i was addicted to porn once too i was about 17-18 at the time, i did everything i did to stop

looked at every website
set up heaps of filters
started threads like this one
tried every method i could but nothing really worked

eventually it just hit me that i didnt care about porn anymore, because everybody looks it. so i didnt try to stop it just sort of wore off

now im 20 and i still look at porn very often but it dosnt effect me, i was only making myself depressed for no reason

i think keep looking at porn, but just try cut it down so it dosnt effect other areas of your life. 3 hours might be a bit too much. theres nothing wrong with it other than your own opinion of it

cafecolour

Are you turned on by what you are watching, or not as much? If it's the later, you might have just something of an obsessive 'collecting' instinct that is targeted towards porn. Try replacing it with a different obsessive - ie reading bs on wikipedia, collecting music, posting on boards.ie See if that mitigates it.

If you are turned on by most of the stuff you are watching, well, just try and knock one out at the beginning of watching, instead of dragging it out and looking at more and more. Once you orgasm, your interest in watching more porn will decrease dramatically.

LegacyUser

the feelings of digust you should try and cut out imo. You might be adicted to that instead porn. Watch some porn that makes you feel good about yourself.

Not good to be digusted by your own actions

tenchi-fan

I read Louis Theroux's book. He was speaking to porn studios who told him the internet has just made porn become more extreme. I think you've been so desensitised to porn you need to watch shemales to get the same buzz.

I'm not sure why you associate shemales with gay men - I think straight men are more interested in shemales and crossdressing in general! Just try not to make the jump from fantasy to reality.

I think you should get a new hobby. Maybe cancel your internet subscription for a while. Oh and boards.ie is my addiction.

Black Swan

Most lads I know look at porn, so I consider it normal for them. But for 3 hours? You need to get out more and be with someone real.

BobsYerAuntie

I'd suggest you go for some "help". Help in the sense, go talk to someone about it, someone that you dont know that can be objective for you. See below as to why, but let me say firstly, Porn is a normal thing, of course most guys looks at it and everyone has their preferences, shemales or otherwise...... so I'd not be worried for that per se.

But, the amount of time you are spending looking at it is the "unhealthy" part in my view and is NOT equivalent to watching television for an hour as someone else suggested.

Having a reliance on porn like this WILL lead to issues with your intimacy/love life should you go down the road of marriage for example or long term relationships. It DOES prevent a certain intimacy with your partner, and when things go bad for you in this case, you'll always turn back to porn as a way out from the intimacy problems you are facing. (I know from experience, because I studied this in college in psychology and when working in couples counselling)

I have dealt with many cases on this in my studies and it is a classic these days with porn being so freely available on the web.

Some other food for thought.

Do you watch the porn and forget about it, or do you download and save it on your computer for example or keep a catalog of it? If so, why? Would you ever get around to watching it all again? I'd call that addiction as opposed to just fulfilling a need at any given moment.

Another question is do you get urges to watch it when you are feeling tired or feeling that you cannot cope with the task at hand? Work, Relationship? Friendship or whatever?

Porn addicts get the addiction mostly from low self esteem. This is why I'd say go and talk to someone about it. I only suggest this for one reason. The very reason you started this thread is because you know in your mind that you see something bad in it or that you feel something odd within yourself. It only gets worse because if you do suffer from low self esteem, and turn to porn as a solution, it will only make it worse, because you are then feeling guilty for watching it and questioning yourself... not a nice circle of feelings to deal with...

the best of luck, one thing to always remember, you are not doing anything bad, too much of one thing can be a hindrance to us, so it's always best to limit ourselves and not over do it...

LegacyUser

Have a read of Saturday's Irish Times.

There's an article "Porn was my husband's mistress".

It's very informative and there are numbers and groups mentioned on it to call.

For those who say that it is normal etc may never have been in a position where becomes consuming.

At work today I watched a few downloads.... why? because I literally felt that I couldn't stop myself. I could have been discovered, fired, etc but that's not what was going through my head at the time.

It is normal for most people. When someone comes on here saying that they have a problem with it, then they need to get help.

It would be like saying "you're an alcoholic - just limit yourself to 4 pints and you'll be grand" .

The MRCS (marriage relations and counselling service) in Dublin on Fitzwilliam sq are a good place to start.

Also, I find it's when I'm bored or under stress that I go to it. I joined a gym. Hoping that will keep me busy and exhausted.

BEst of luck

28064212

The OP hasn't reached that point yet (or at least, based on his post, he hasn't). Yes, if he tries to stop or slow down and can't, then he has a problem and needs professional advice. There is a middle ground between the "correct" amount and "addicted". If someone is addicted, then they need counselling. However, if they just use too much then it's entirely possible to scale back and enjoy a healthy amount. To use the alcohol analogy, there are many, many people who drink or have drunk 'too much', but aren't alcoholics