Me Dumped!!?? Me!??

Grobbelaar

Hi,

I was dumped yesterday morning, I know, Im as shocked as you! I thought I was untouchable,no way could I be removed from a relationship but Im afraid it's true.It's like as if Robert DeNiro went for a role in a local play here and did'nt get the part. On the positive side of things I just turned on sky news and it seem's my newly acquired relationship status has not been aired as of yet,which is a relief..I guess.

I wish I was dumped for something like sleeping with Alicia Keys which was secretly taped and leaked across the world wide web but Im afraid the real reasons are boring...too boring to post here.I reacted to being dumped like any other person would..I stole her good umbrella. Im looking at it as I type. I feel like I should do something to it but I did interrogate it and it seems it had nothing to do with the actual break up.

I have a plan to get over my ex who will now and forever more be known as Gonzilla the Great. It's a plan so perfect that I kinda want to keep to myself but I wont...My plan is... to learn how to dance. Stay with me here. It's almost been a full day since Gonzilla decided to call a halt to our two year relationship so I feel it's time to stop feeling sorry for myself and get back in the game.

Now I must point out It's been aaaaaages since I've gone out to a club but I really want to at least try and I dont want to be one of those guys that stands in the corner and looks on, I want to take part. I would love to learn a tiny tiny bit of dance just to give me that bit of confidence to go for it. Now since I shared my master plan, does anyone here know of any good "how to dance" online video's? At the very least it would be a distraction and possibly keep Gonzilla out of my mind.

Thanks!

Kiera

You'll defo pull a chick if you dance like any of these:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rm26sAOTqU8

senordingdong

A/S/L?

Grobbelaar

Kiera : By time I have those moves down I'll be married with 11 children :eek: Thanks though Im loving their pants!

Senor : Bit soon to be chancing me..Im still vulnerable Im 27, male *checks* yup certainly male and live down south.

Oblomov

ROFL it's better with the sound off

R0ot

Just go the way of buffalo bill, you'll be pulling chicks in (-to the back of your van) in no time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ToNZHG5KHw

:pac:

OutlawPete

/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLreTpnUWX8

Kiera

Grobbelaar wrote: »

Kiera : By time I have those moves down I'll be married with 11 children :eek: Thanks though Im loving their pants!

Senor : Bit soon to be chancing me..Im still vulnerable Im 27, male *checks* yup certainly male and live down south.

27? Waaaay too old for me

On a serious note: head to a boards beers.

Grobbelaar

R0ot : :pac: :pac: Few more dumpings in me yet before I get to that stage!

foxinsox

We are in a recession.

Women have to make cut-backs too.

Trade-ins are also an option to cut down on costs.



Best of luck with the dancing plan!

Grobbelaar

OutlawPete wrote: »

/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLreTpnUWX8

Too soon Outlaw Pete too soon! :pac::pac:

*listens to celine dion - all by myself and eats chocolate cake*

old_aussie

Grobbelaar wrote: »

Hi,

I was dumped yesterday morning!

I thought I was untouchable.

I was dumped, the real reasons are boring...too boring to post here.

My plan is... to learn how to dance.

Now I must point out It's been aaaaaages since I've gone out to a club

Thanks!

Sounds like you are a boring person who never took your girl out to dances at the local clubs.

I can see why she moved on.

WIZE

So why did she dump you ?

Grobbelaar

old_aussie wrote: »

Sounds like you are a boring person who never took your girl out to dances at the local clubs.

I can see why she moved on.

I know im old before my time! Im trying to do a reverse Benjamin Button on it!

Grobbelaar

WIZE wrote: »

So why did she dump you ?

I was too amazing and she could'nt deal with it or most likely I've never really gone out to clubs/pubs before I met her and continued on the same anti social path...I would'nt mind but I make my money through performing.

maxwell smart

Grobbelaar wrote: »

..I would'nt mind but I make my money through performing.

Are you a professional clown? Were you always asking her to squeeze your horn?

wyndham

Everything you need is here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg

senordingdong

Grobbelaar wrote: »

Senor : Bit soon to be chancing me..Im still vulnerable Im 27, male *checks* yup certainly male and live down south.

Pics or GTFO.

Kiera

Grobbelaar wrote: »

I was too amazing and she could'nt deal with it or most likely I've never really gone out to clubs/pubs before I met her and continued on the same anti social path...I would'nt mind but I make my money through performing.

Oooooh are you one of those guys who makes their willy turn into a butterfly/hamburger/mobilehome?

bnt

Why the rush to find another girlfriend? You have plenty of time to calm down and figure out what you want. Rushing in to relationships, just to avoid being alone, is a recipe for disaster IMHO.

Jumpy

Kiera wrote: »

Oooooh are you one of those guys who makes their willy turn into a butterfly/hamburger/mobilehome?

Wristwatch.

Kiera

Jumpy wrote: »

Wristwatch.

If he has tiny wrists like mine then i'm sooooo not impressed!

fakearms123

I'm glad to hear you have a good sense of humour about the whole thing but from reading the thread it becomes a bit obvious why she broke up with you, even though you have opted from telling us the reason. You don't take things seriously or you probably make a joke of everything and she got sick of it. Your now asking to learn how to dance which would suggest that you never danced with your girlfriend in a club or probably even slow danced with her at a wedding. She might have been bored with you, tired of routine, sitting in front of the tv every evening watching comedies. Your sense of humour she once found witty and clever has now become boring and irritating. You have become predictable and she resented you for it, there was no spontaneity in your relationship so she jumped ship. Sorry if this is tough to hear but it just might be true.

listermint

fakearms123 wrote: »

I'm glad to hear you have a good sense of humour about the whole thing but from reading the thread it becomes a bit obvious why she broke up with you, even though you have opted from telling us the reason. You don't take things seriously or you probably make a joke of everything and she got sick of it. Your now asking to learn how to dance which would suggest that you never danced with your girlfriend in a club or probably even slow danced with her at a wedding. She might have been bored with you, tired of routine, sitting in front of the tv every evening watching comedies. Your sense of humour she once found witty and clever has now become boring and irritating. You have become predictable and she resented you for it, there was no spontaneity in your relationship so she jumped ship. Sorry if this is tough to hear but it just might be true.

Ouch! !

chiefbrody1974

fakearms123 wrote: »

I'm glad to hear you have a good sense of humour about the whole thing but from reading the thread it becomes a bit obvious why she broke up with you, even though you have opted from telling us the reason. You don't take things seriously or you probably make a joke of everything and she got sick of it. Your now asking to learn how to dance which would suggest that you never danced with your girlfriend in a club or probably even slow danced with her at a wedding. She might have been bored with you, tired of routine, sitting in front of the tv every evening watching comedies. Your sense of humour she once found witty and clever has now become boring and irritating. You have become predictable and she resented you for it, there was no spontaneity in your relationship so she jumped ship. Sorry if this is tough to hear but it just might be true.

You’re sooo ambitious, aren’t you…? You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. Awell-scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste… Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you –That accent
you’re trying so desperately to shed – pure Dundrum D4 yes??. What was your father, dear? Was he a financial analyst? Did he stink of Anglo Irish…? And oh, how quickly the boys found you! All those tedious, sticky fumblings, in the back seats of cars, while you could only dream of getting out. Getting anywhere – yes? Getting all the way – to the
C…I…E.

get over yourself, the relationship may have just run its course fakearms123!!!

ibarelycare

fakearms123 wrote: »

I'm glad to hear you have a good sense of humour about the whole thing but from reading the thread it becomes a bit obvious why she broke up with you, even though you have opted from telling us the reason. You don't take things seriously or you probably make a joke of everything and she got sick of it. Your now asking to learn how to dance which would suggest that you never danced with your girlfriend in a club or probably even slow danced with her at a wedding. She might have been bored with you, tired of routine, sitting in front of the tv every evening watching comedies. Your sense of humour she once found witty and clever has now become boring and irritating. You have become predictable and she resented you for it, there was no spontaneity in your relationship so she jumped ship. Sorry if this is tough to hear but it just might be true.

:eek:

chiefbrody1974 wrote: »

You’re sooo ambitious, aren’t you…? You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. Awell-scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste… Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you –That accent
you’re trying so desperately to shed – pure Dundrum D4 yes??. What was your father, dear? Was he a financial analyst? Did he stink of Anglo Irish…? And oh, how quickly the boys found you! All those tedious, sticky fumblings, in the back seats of cars, while you could only dream of getting out. Getting anywhere – yes? Getting all the way – to the
C…I…E.

get over yourself, the relationship may have just run its course fakearms123!!!

fakearms123

chiefbrody1974 wrote: »

You’re sooo ambitious, aren’t you…? You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. Awell-scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste… Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you –That accent
you’re trying so desperately to shed – pure Dundrum D4 yes??. What was your father, dear? Was he a financial analyst? Did he stink of Anglo Irish…? And oh, how quickly the boys found you! All those tedious, sticky fumblings, in the back seats of cars, while you could only dream of getting out. Getting anywhere – yes? Getting all the way – to the
C…I…E.

get over yourself, the relationship may have just run its course fakearms123!!!

Haha I like the Lambs quote, I'm just giving my opinion, it might be a harsh opinion but the OP didn't come onto AH thinking that everyone was going to say "Don't worry bro, you deserve better than that hussie!", he's 27, he's old enough to handle it. You could be right, the relationship may have just run its course, I made a guess, I could be wrong.

zeusnero

fakearms123 wrote: »

I'm glad to hear you have a good sense of humour about the whole thing but from reading the thread it becomes a bit obvious why she broke up with you, even though you have opted from telling us the reason. You don't take things seriously or you probably make a joke of everything and she got sick of it. Your now asking to learn how to dance which would suggest that you never danced with your girlfriend in a club or probably even slow danced with her at a wedding. She might have been bored with you, tired of routine, sitting in front of the tv every evening watching comedies. Your sense of humour she once found witty and clever has now become boring and irritating. You have become predictable and she resented you for it, there was no spontaneity in your relationship so she jumped ship. Sorry if this is tough to hear but it just might be true.

yikes - that's pretty profound for AH.

(Note to self for future reference - fakearms123 may or may not have super human psychoanalyic powers. Will need OP to verify / deny)

SugarHigh

Grobbelaar wrote: »

I know im old before my time! Im trying to do a reverse Benjamin Button on it!

You realise a reverse Benjamin button would be just living life normally?

Giblet

Stick your penis in a new girl, that's what every MAN should do. Accept no substitutes. Also, your ex might get jealous and stick a finger in your hole while you're boning some other hottie.
Bonus dude.

Happy porking, I know you will take this advice (especially the bum part)

_DMac_

Giblet wrote: »

Stick your penis in a new girl, that's what every MAN should do. Accept no substitutes. Also, your ex might get jealous and stick a finger in your hole while you're boning some other hottie.
Bonus dude.

Happy porking, I know you will take this advice (especially the bum part)

Ha ha pure win!!!

Give it time lad. It's the great healer...

we'llallhavetea_old

jesus, fakearms, so bitchy!

i'll ride ye op.

fakearms123

zeusnero wrote: »

yikes - that's pretty profound for AH.

(Note to self for future reference - fakearms123 may or may not have super human psychoanalyic powers. Will need OP to verify / deny)

No super human powers here unfortunately, just a 4 and a half year relationship and many many mistakes and f*ck ups on my part during that time. If I could describe it using an example:

On day one I am a noob chef under the supervision of Gordon Ramsay, Gordon Ramsay being a metaphor for my girlfriend (obviously a lot better looking), I only know how to use the microwave but I have told Gordan that I can cook a 5 star three course meal for his restaurant. Customers take their seats and I begin to cook, I prepare toast for a starter, pot noodle for a main course and pop corn for desert. Customers are unhappy, Gordan gives me a bollocking! I learn from my mistakes and I get better, fast forward 4 and half years later and now I am a Michelin three star chef cooking up Ravioli of lobster, langoustine and salmon poached in a light bisque, with a tomato chutney and the customers are loving it.

NothingMan

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

i'll ride ye op.

I'm recently single too....

we'llallhavetea_old

NothingMan wrote: »

I'm recently single too....

you can finger the op's bum

Earthhorse

Grobbelaar wrote: »

Hi

Hi.

Now I must point out It's been aaaaaages since I've gone out to a club but I really want to at least try and I dont want to be one of those guys that stands in the corner and looks on, I want to take part.

You've come to the right place.

SV

fakearms123 wrote: »

I'm glad to hear you have a good sense of humour about the whole thing but from reading the thread it becomes a bit obvious why she broke up with you, even though you have opted from telling us the reason. You don't take things seriously or you probably make a joke of everything and she got sick of it. Your now asking to learn how to dance which would suggest that you never danced with your girlfriend in a club or probably even slow danced with her at a wedding. She might have been bored with you, tired of routine, sitting in front of the tv every evening watching comedies. Your sense of humour she once found witty and clever has now become boring and irritating. You have become predictable and she resented you for it, there was no spontaneity in your relationship so she jumped ship. Sorry if this is tough to hear but it just might be true.

fúcksake....

WIZE

fakearms123 wrote: »

No super human powers here unfortunately, just a 4 and a half year relationship and many many mistakes and f*ck ups on my part during that time. If I could describe it using an example:

On day one I am a noob chef under the supervision of Gordon Ramsay, Gordon Ramsay being a metaphor for my girlfriend (obviously a lot better looking), I only know how to use the microwave but I have told Gordan that I can cook a 5 star three course meal for his restaurant. Customers take their seats and I begin to cook, I prepare toast for a starter, pot noodle for a main course and pop corn for desert. Customers are unhappy, Gordan gives me a bollocking! I learn from my mistakes and I get better, fast forward 4 and half years later and now I am a Michelin three star chef cooking up Ravioli of lobster, langoustine and salmon poached in a light bisque, with a tomato chutney and the customers are loving it.

Your still shoite if you cant prepare dessert

Thats the best part

The Icing on the cake you may say

kfallon

I 'dumped' about ten minutes ago, was like a malteser dispensing machine, that's the weekends festivities heading up the Liffey

Giblet

Also, if you find any relationship going stale, a big dump on the other's chest is a real game changer I find!

Austerity

Grobbelaar wrote: »

I was too amazing and she could'nt deal with it or most likely I've never really gone out to clubs/pubs before I met her and continued on the same anti social path...I would'nt mind but I make my money through performing.

Asia is the solution.

Latchy

Grobbelaar wrote: »

Too soon Outlaw Pete too soon! :pac::pac:

*listens to celine dion - all by myself and eats chocolate cake*

I prefer the original version by Eirc Carmen .Like you can really feel his pain man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bf9txfsMhU0

* weeps buckets while eating chocolate cake with OP *

fonecrusher1

fakearms123 wrote: »

I'm glad to hear you have a good sense of humour about the whole thing but from reading the thread it becomes a bit obvious why she broke up with you, even though you have opted from telling us the reason. You don't take things seriously or you probably make a joke of everything and she got sick of it. Your now asking to learn how to dance which would suggest that you never danced with your girlfriend in a club or probably even slow danced with her at a wedding. She might have been bored with you, tired of routine, sitting in front of the tv every evening watching comedies. Your sense of humour she once found witty and clever has now become boring and irritating. You have become predictable and she resented you for it, there was no spontaneity in your relationship so she jumped ship. Sorry if this is tough to hear but it just might be true.

One persons idea of contributing to a healthy partnership may be someone elses idea of being a frightened subservient lapdog. You don't know this guy & you don't know the reasons behind him breaking up with his girlfriend.

Its funny, he's the one that broke up yet you actually sound more bitter than him??!!!:pac:

squeakyduck

Get insanely drunk and pelvic thrust in the face of every girl you see! Some girl will find it attractive!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUk0xOkAqlA

Grobbelaar

fakearms123 wrote: »

I'm glad to hear you have a good sense of humour about the whole thing but from reading the thread it becomes a bit obvious why she broke up with you, even though you have opted from telling us the reason. You don't take things seriously or you probably make a joke of everything and she got sick of it. Your now asking to learn how to dance which would suggest that you never danced with your girlfriend in a club or probably even slow danced with her at a wedding. She might have been bored with you, tired of routine, sitting in front of the tv every evening watching comedies. Your sense of humour she once found witty and clever has now become boring and irritating. You have become predictable and she resented you for it, there was no spontaneity in your relationship so she jumped ship. Sorry if this is tough to hear but it just might be true.

Fakearms you know me better than I know myself Ah no you could be right with a few things to be fair. I guess it's just a matter of learning and moving on. I could of done better but to be fair I did alot of nice things, I would'nt at all consider myself boring but then again I would say that :pac:

epgc3fyqirnbsx

You broke my heart
'Cause I couldn't dance
You didn't even want me around
And now I'm back, to let you know
I can really shake 'em down

Do you love (I can really move)
Do you love (I'm in the groove)
Ah do you love (do you love me)
Now that I can dance (dance)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x43vK0k6A2I

Poor Uncle Tom

Jumpy wrote: »

Wristwatch.

Yeah, he's looking for someone to put a face and hands on it for him.....:p

Grobbelaar

SugarHigh wrote: »

You realise a reverse Benjamin button would be just living life normally?

Thats exactly what I was going for

Thanks for the posts people, made me laugh in a good way! I rather chat about it here an avoid the the usual well meaning words of wisdom such as the wonderful. "Plenty more fish in the sea" jazz.

I must confess though I want to learn how to dance not to score another girl but to win over my ex. I know how sad!!

You know I once ran miles into a "haunted forest" in the middle of the night to look for her dog and I hate the dark.

Kiera

Grobbelaar wrote: »

Thats exactly what I was going for

Thanks for the posts people, made me laugh in a good way! I rather chat about it here an avoid the the usual well meaning words of wisdom such as the wonderful. "Plenty more fish in the sea" jazz.

I must confess though I want to learn how to dance not to score another girl but to win over my ex. I know how sad!!

You know I once ran miles into a "haunted forest" in the middle of the night to look for her dog and I hate the dark.

Why do you wanna win her back?

Use my rule and never go back to an ex!

kfallon

Kiera wrote: »

Use my rule and never go back to an ex!

My ex's made that rule after they finished with me....couple of them even turned 'lezzie'

Poor Uncle Tom

Grobbelaar wrote: »

"haunted forest"

WTF!

Is that a euphemism?