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Are you a worrier?
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10-10-2010 9:07pm#1
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I'm an awful worrier. I'd say I spend about 25% of my time just worrying. I'll worry about everything, from as little as "X didn't thank my post. Why? Is s/he angry with me? Did I do something?" to "Aggghhhh what am I doing with my life?!". I worry about being burgled every night I'm home alone. I worry about friends and family having accidents, getting sick, etc. I worry constantly about not being good enough. It's such a drain on my energy, but I can't help it. I very much got it from my mum, she's as bad as me. I wish I knew how to stop worrying, but I don't. I suppose at least it means I'm always prepared for the worst case scenario
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I used to be, but after a bout of depression I started trying to worry less.
I figure there's no point in worrying about things I can't control and what I can do something about I do. It's very freeing. Obviously I still worry sometimes but I can reign it in pretty quickly.
How do you stop it though? Like this week I'm starting some volunteer work. Part of what they want me to do is waaaayyyy beyond anything I've ever done before. I literally spent an entire day last week just worrying about, thinking I'll never be able to do it, I'll mess it up, they'll get angry, etc. I actually considered calling the whole thing off for a minute or two! I could not stop the thoughts, or do anything about them. It was only after I spoke to the person I'll be working with and explained my concerns that I relaxed
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How do you stop it though? Like this week I'm starting some volunteer work. Part of what they want me to do is waaaayyyy beyond anything I've ever done before. I literally spent an entire day last week just worrying about, thinking I'll never be able to do it, I'll mess it up, they'll get angry, etc. I actually considered calling the whole thing off for a minute or two! I could not stop the thoughts, or do anything about them. It was only after I spoke to the person I'll be working with and explained my concerns that I relaxed.
That's what I do. I think myself out of being able to do things. I know where it comes from but it's so difficult to change it.
Since starting college last year, I've actually become less afraid of the unknown. I still get stressed about stuff, but it's less a case of not doing things because I'm afraid and more that I'm afraid but I'll do it anyway. And for the most part it's nowhere near as bad as I'd imagined.0 -
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Faith wrote:How do you stop it though? Like this week I'm starting some volunteer work. Part of what they want me to do is waaaayyyy beyond anything I've ever done before. I literally spent an entire day last week just worrying about, thinking I'll never be able to do it, I'll mess it up, they'll get angry, etc. I actually considered calling the whole thing off for a minute or two! I could not stop the thoughts, or do anything about them. It was only after I spoke to the person I'll be working with and explained my concerns that I relaxed.
What you did is how you stop them, you talked to the person. What I would have done would have been to talk to them straight away if I could. It's a rotten feeling it taints everything else in your life when you're feeling that way.
I'm back to work in 3 weeks and I'll most likely be in a new department with a new boss. Old me would be really worried about getting the ****ty end of the stick, currently I'm just thinking if it does happen I'll worry about it then.0 -
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Awh Faith, why would you let something that small worry you? Theres more to life than boards hon. We all stick around for a reason though, I do because I like using the site. Everyone has a different take on things, and the different personalities and perspectives, and I love a genuinely funny posterI'm an awful worrier. I'd say I spend about 25% of my time just worrying. I'll worry about everything, from as little as "X didn't thank my post. Why? Is s/he angry with me? Did I do something?"
I'd love to get rid of the thanks system tbh, but I do find it very useful when I agree with a post. Sometimes people put so much effort into their posts, and especially in PI. They don't have to do that, but they do.
But don't let such a small thing bother you. I like your posts, you make a lot of sense, and you do put effort into your posts
Thats an understandable concern, with the way things have gone in the country, this has risen. But all you can do is make sure you've locked up, always keep your phone to hand, and find some distractions to keep your mind off it.to "Aggghhhh what am I doing with my life?!". I worry about being burgled every night I'm home alone.
Same tbh =/I worry about friends and family having accidents, getting sick, etc.I worry constantly about not being good enough. It's such a drain on my energy, but I can't help it. I very much got it from my mum, she's as bad as me. I wish I knew how to stop worrying, but I don't. I suppose at least it means I'm always prepared for the worst case scenario.
Theres no harm in being prepared Faith. I think a lil counselling could be a real benefit to you. You might have gotten it from your mum, but a good cousellor could change your perspective on things. Theres absolutely nothing wrong with popping by and having a chat about life in general with a counseller, I see one myself and its a real relief walking out every single time
Theres such a cliche about going to a counseller in Ireland still, its such a shame. Americans drop it into conversation like they're talking about going to the dentist or a doctors appointment. I really hope you don't mind me saying, but I think most of us could do with having a chat with a counsellor every ones in a while, and I really think that maybe this could help you a lil 0 -
Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,121 Mod ✭✭✭✭
Join Date:Posts: 59050
I worry about the little things, the stupid things. Big stuff? Barely registers by comparison. A trait that has confused mates in the past. About 3 years ago a routine medical test came back with a potential "oh you're soooo gonna need a pine box in months" result(turned out it was a mistake. I hope :eek::D). I was meh. I mean WTF can you do? My mates were all naturally concerned for me. More for my mental state I suspect, as the previous week I had gotten up to high dough over something majorly trivial that most wouldnt register.
Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.
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Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,121 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Join Date:Posts: 59050
Yea but guess what? In a few weeks, while you worry, you'll do absolutely fine if not great in your volunteer position. I'll put down 50 quid now that you will. And I'm a cheapskate who works the odds, so basically Faith you owe me 50 quid.How do you stop it though? Like this week I'm starting some volunteer work. Part of what they want me to do is waaaayyyy beyond anything I've ever done before. I literally spent an entire day last week just worrying about, thinking I'll never be able to do it, I'll mess it up, they'll get angry, etc. I actually considered calling the whole thing off for a minute or two! I could not stop the thoughts, or do anything about them. It was only after I spoke to the person I'll be working with and explained my concerns that I relaxed.
:) Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.
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Oops, didn't mean to turn this into a PI thread for myself!Awh Faith, why would you let something that small worry you? Theres more to life than boards hon. We all stick around for a reason though, I do because I like using the site. Everyone has a different take on things, and the different personalities and perspectives, and I love a genuinely funny poster I'd love to get rid of the thanks system tbh, but I do find it very useful when I agree with a post. Sometimes people put so much effort into their posts, and especially in PI. They don't have to do that, but they do.
But don't let such a small thing bother you. I like your posts, you make a lot of sense, and you do put effort into your posts
Thanks, that's really sweet. It's an irrational worry though, with no basis in reality. It only happens every now and then, usually if I've been interacting with a person a lot either on boards or in RL.Theres no harm in being prepared Faith. I think a lil counselling could be a real benefit to you. You might have gotten it from your mum, but a good cousellor could change your perspective on things. Theres absolutely nothing wrong with popping by and having a chat about life in general with a counseller, I see one myself and its a real relief walking out every single time
Theres such a cliche about going to a counseller in Ireland still, its such a shame. Americans drop it into conversation like they're talking about going to the dentist or a doctors appointment. I really hope you don't mind me saying, but I think most of us could do with having a chat with a counsellor every ones in a while, and I really think that maybe this could help you a lil
I'm actually supposed to start getting counseling purely as part of my training to be a psychologist (can't be transferring your own issues onto a client!) but when I looked into it, it was crazy expensive. Still though, I'd agree with you that it would be a good idea, even as a general exercise. Everyone could do with some counseling, I think!Yea but guess what? In a few weeks, while you worry, you'll do absolutely fine if not great in your volunteer position. I'll put down 50 quid now that you will. And I'm a cheapskate who works the odds, so basically Faith you owe me 50 quid.:)
But... what... how the hell? Damn you Wibbs! :pac:
I'd actually agree with you in a way about the big things, as long as they have to do with me. I've a very strong family history of breast cancer, and when my mum got it, I just accepted I'd be next in line. I've the Breast Cancer Awareness symbol tattoo'd on my shoulder and all. People get quite freaked out when they hear me being so matter of fact about it! The way I see it is, if I get it, it won't be for another 30 years or so, and by then cancer will probably be no different to the flu or something.0 -
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I know what you mean. That Wibbs bastard never thanks my posts anymore >_>Thanks, that's really sweet. It's an irrational worry though, with no basis in reality. It only happens every now and then, usually if I've been interacting with a person a lot either on boards or in RL.
Serious note: I've online friends here, and those I've met in RL. It really doesn't mean anything to me if they thank me or not. Think about it, if you're friends with anyone on boards in either sense - if you keep thanking each others posts, it looks a bit cliquey and up each others arses. Theres a few people on boards, that share a lot of the same opinions as me, and I'll only ever see them thank me when I've really put some effort into a post and they agree with me. I've received a few PM's as a result, because something I might have said either helped and maybe even changed their perspective on something. If I don't get thanked for something, I expect because its my own personal opinion on something, and it mightn't be shared. But thats okay too, its what sets us apart from everyone else, yano
I know you said its just one of those irrational things, but really its just as simple as the above Faith
Have a chat with your GP Faith, let him / her know that money is tight and if they could recommend someone. I let things get on top of me a bit in the past, and I'm sorry that I did. People take their minds and mental health for granted. But its every bit as important as your teeth, and general health.I'm actually supposed to start getting counseling purely as part of my training to be a psychologist (can't be transferring your own issues onto a client!) but when I looked into it, it was crazy expensive. Still though, I'd agree with you that it would be a good idea, even as a general exercise.
I didn't know you were studying psychology, I did a short course in it too, and its very interesting. I've no doubt you'll do well in it. You could easily pull a positive from your own situation here, you've an insight into worrying / irrational worrying, there are a lot of people who worry excessively and your experience could be benefical here.Everyone could do with some counseling, I think!
Agree completely, I come out feeling so relieved, thinking a lot clearer, and my brain unscrambled :pac: 0 -
Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,121 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Join Date:Posts: 59050
Cool by me. I'm up 50 quid already. :pac:Oops, didn't mean to turn this into a PI thread for myself!
I'd have a touch of that with people I know. People I dont know or dont like, no matter what they say or do, it really doesnt affect me at all. Unless its someone being unfair for the sake of it and it affects me or others. Then I get pissed off thoughIt's an irrational worry though, with no basis in reality. It only happens every now and then, usually if I've been interacting with a person a lot either on boards or in RL.
I reckon it's a good bet if you want to be a psychologist alright. For most people, not suffering a mental illness or emotional insult that affects their lives? I dunno. I have issues with the whole therapy thing TBH. Not a popular opinion these days I'd say, but there you go. Well the "oh you must have issues, therefore go for therapy" vibe. That said I have more faith in that avenue than I would for the drug therapy aimed at people needlessly medicalised, even though they've very mild issues. I mean more in the US say, where they'll put kids on SSRI's and the like way way more than here. Hell they'll even juice up dogs and cats. :eek: Get back to me in 20 years and then tell me it was a good idea for those cases.
I'm actually supposed to start getting counseling purely as part of my training to be a psychologist (can't be transferring your own issues onto a client!) but when I looked into it, it was crazy expensive. Still though, I'd agree with you that it would be a good idea, even as a general exercise. Everyone could do with some counseling, I think!
That's pretty cool TBH.I've the Breast Cancer Awareness symbol tattoo'd on my shoulder and all.
That seems to be the way its going alright. The leaps and bounds the men and women in white coats have made even in the last ten years are pretty amazing. I reckon it will be a chronic disease you live with, but dont die from.People get quite freaked out when they hear me being so matter of fact about it! The way I see it is, if I get it, it won't be for another 30 years or so, and by then cancer will probably be no different to the flu or something.Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.
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Definitly, check the username :cool:
Worry over things I can control and even more time over things I cannot control.
I cannot go asleep with checking the doors locked, immersion off , oven off and end up doing several laps of the flat to check everything.
Or maybe be walking to the shops, wondering did I remember my wallet in my bag and would stop to check.....3 or 4 times to check. Walk 100 metres, stop and check, maybe then walk 200 metres and I'm checking again!
Or be walking to work, convince myself I never locked the front door so have to go back home to check, and I had checked multiple times already.
Do I have correct change for the bus, I could count my change several times waiting for the bus.
And worry over things that I cannot control. That person was whispering when I passed by, or that person ignored me when I said hello, on no......I must be a horrible person and they hate me
I think I better stroll over to PI forum 0 -
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up for anything wrote: »With most things though I can let go. It's only the children I sweat over and then mostly concerning their interactions with other people (friends principally).
Me too.
We're all very close, probably unnaturally close, as a result of my folks splitting and I assumed a maternal role. I was so intent on protecting them from everything and everyone that had the potential to hurt them, I drove myself batty. I was always on the phone to them, or driving them somewhere or doling out money and any doubts I had that niggled I shut up by telling myself that they were my siblings and that's what you do for family.
But they need to live and to be able to fend for themselves, it's ok to be supportive but not run yourself into the ground in the process!
I just tell myself to worry/stress about the things I can change and let go of the things that I can't. It works, kinda! 0 -
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