Facebook Revenge

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

I know this is going to sound very catty and b*tchy but I just recently broke up
with my boyfriend of 8 years when i found out he was cheating on me.

When I confronted him about the cheating he slapped me across the face. He admitted
he was cheating but was angry that I'd found out and he lashed out at me.

I am completely heart broken but also extremely angry.

I know his facebook password and am sooooooooooooooooo tempted to go into his
account and change his status to something like - I'm a lying cheating sack of sh*t.

He doesn't know that i know his password but I do.

Is this a terrible idea?

He's a complete w*nker and I think he deserves it.

I actually don't think I can stop myself from doing this...

humanji

It'll only make you look bad and won't make you feel any better. The best way of getting back at him is by cutting him out of your life completely.

Penn

He's obviously going to know it was you. And this is a guy who slapped you because you found out he was cheating on you. Your best course of action is to just try and cut him out of your life completely. Just completely ignore anything he says or does. Anything you do like messing with his facebook profile or anything similar will just mean he's in your life for longer. Don't give him the satisfaction, because he obviously isn't worth it.

I'm very sorry for what has happened to you, but revenge just leads to more revenge, and you'll never be rid of hin

LegacyUser

Go to the gardaí and report him for assault. If he does the same to his next girlfriend, and she reports him, he'll get a visit from them. It's a long shot, but at least you'll be doing something concrete.
Grieve for the relationship you thought you had, grieve for what happened. Talk to friends about it. Eight years is a long time so surely they'll lend an ear, or a shoulder to cry on.
Then put it all behind you and start living your life again.
Good luck

fungun

wont achieve anything except for you to vent (and besides, you could just post it to his wall anyway)

Id find another way to vent.....

thefeatheredcat

OP that's awful what happened to you, I'm sorry to hear that

It's petty and yes, he's going to know it was you that did it and then it'll go further with other things - are you going to stop at FB? I would advise strongly against it. You'll come out looking the worse and end up looking like a psycho (at least, that's what he'll tell his friends).

Instead, channel your anger in more positive, constructive ways and moving on with your life. He doesn't deserve one more second of your attention or emotion after cheating and slapping you, he's just not worth it.

Work on getting your anger out of you by working out or going to the bottle bank, I find they help. Then comfort yourself and heal. Don't give him any more thought, emotion or energy. Cut him out of your life. You'll get more satisfaction and reward that way.

Major Lovechild

He deserves it. And it will give you some badly need satisfaction.

LegacyUser

paddyirishman85 wrote: »

He's obviously going to know it was you. And this is a guy who slapped you because you found out he was cheating on you. Your best course of action is to just try and cut him out of your life completely. Just completely ignore anything he says or does. Anything you do like messing with his facebook profile or anything similar will just mean he's in your life for longer. Don't give him the satisfaction, because he obviously isn't worth it.

I'm very sorry for what has happened to you, but revenge just leads to more revenge, and you'll never be rid of hin

yeah...I know you're right. It's just so hard to let go when someone has wronged you so badly. He was cheating with a girl at work who he sits beside. Unreal. Then he had the nerve to slap me and tell me he did it cause he hates me. 8 years gone and I guess I never really knew him.

I just want people to know what a scumbag he is:(

Des Carter

Hey Op I would tend to agree with everyone else and cut him out of your life

However

If you feel you have to get revenge (which you are entitled to) I would do it right I mean if you write what you said above he will no its you straight away and delete it. Im not on facebook but what else could you do if you have a password - could you have a private chat with someone prertending to be him and start saying stuff that would turn others against him for example telling someone that someone else is a b!tch and then he will get the name of talking behind peoples backs. Is his boss or workmates on facebook - anyway to get him in trouble/fired? Alternatively do you have any embarrasing photos/videos you could upload - Im sure if you google it you will get more ideas but again only do it if cutting him out is not an option and keep us posted;)

Taltos

franticantics wrote: »

yeah...I know you're right. It's just so hard to let go when someone has wronged you so badly. He was cheating with a girl at work who he sits beside. Unreal. Then he had the nerve to slap me and tell me he did it cause he hates me. 8 years gone and I guess I never really knew him.

I just want people to know what a scumbag he is:(

As an above poster recommended - report him to the Gardai - this was an assault. It might not be a black eye - but this guy struck you on the face...
Clearly he has no respect nor control.

Neyite

so you have his password eh?:D

the best revenge is your own happiness. when you are dealing with a toddler tantrum, you dont get mad, or frustrated because its a form of attention, yeah? your response is a form of attention for him, he gets a reaction from you, and he is not worth you losing the higher ground here.

here's whats gonna happen if you change his status: 30 seconds after, he will get a text from a mate and log on and change it, and change his password. yeah, while he will go nuts, he now has the proof to his mates that you are the loony in the relationship, not him. its a bad idea

better to do nothing. you can amuse yourself knowing how freaked out he would be if he did know you have access. remember this is a guy that walloped you when he cheated. what would he do to you when you are in fact in the wrong?

i know its raw at the moment, and you are hurting, but it does get better, and you have walked away with your dignity. dont hand it back to the wánker on a plate.

LegacyUser

Des Carter wrote: »

Hey Op I would tend to agree with everyone else and cut him out of your life

However

If you feel you have to get revenge (which you are entitled to) I would do it right I mean if you write what you said above he will no its you straight away and delete it. Im not on facebook but what else could you do if you have a password - could you have a private chat with someone prertending to be him and start saying stuff that would turn others against him for example telling someone that someone else is a b!tch and then he will get the name of talking behind peoples backs. Is his boss or workmates on facebook - anyway to get him in trouble/fired? Alternatively do you have any embarrasing photos/videos you could upload - Im sure if you google it you will get more ideas but again only do it if cutting him out is not an option and keep us posted;)

Ha ha...I like your way of thinking!

I was thinking of something along those lines. I also have his gmail password (it's the same)
so I was thinking of maybe sending an email prertending to be him. I just want to do something. He is a scumbag and he has rocked my world. He is violent and a cheat and he'd never have admitted to cheating if I didn't confront him. He clearly felt no guilt either and I'm sure is still with her. Unreal. He deserves revenge taken on him but I want it to be good!!!

dudara

Seriously woman - have some dignity. Doing something like this is going to result in even more of a mess and just acts to make you look mental.

Chin up, head up and walk away.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, Jeeze what a w@nker! I cant believe he slapped you! it sounds like you have seen the real side of him and as painful as it is it is better to know now than later when you had kids or anything, you deserve wayyy better than that, know after 8 years this all must seem so crazy the change and the reality of him, but you have to stay strong get your family and girlfriends to rally around you tell them you were slapped and cheated on you need big hugs and support right now, dont let him drag you down into his mess, he did not have the decency to come clean and end the relationship when he should instead he waited till he could push you away abusively, dont let hik drag you down to his crappy level maintain your dignity, get rid of him from your life in every way you can and be seen to move on ASAP dont hang around for anything from this guy you really dont need to see anymore that he is a Loser and aggressive git, a strong confident woman would hold her head up high respect herself, walk away and cut him from her life and allow the next stud to appear, i bet it is just gut wrenching right now but please try and put yourself first!

Could you even go a step further and delete him from your facebook, do you want to see him and what he is doing? I would block him for good!

Dig deep OP, be totally selfish and do the utmost best for you, you deserve it!

Neyite

trust me, if you do this, you will come off as unhinged and playing right into his hands.

if you really want revenge, isnt long term snooping in his facebook and gmail a far better option than posting lies or interfering with his corrospondence?

kjl

If I was you I would lock him out of his account.

Big Bag of Chips

kjl wrote: »

If I was you I would lock him out of his account.

or delete his fb and gmail accounts...

But leave it a while, revenge is a dish best served cold, as they say.

Do nothing until the new year, and then just go in and delete!

LighterGuy

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

or delete his fb and gmail accounts...

But leave it a while, revenge is a dish best served cold, as they say.

Do nothing until the new year, and then just go in and delete!

I like where big_bag_of_chips is going... but if she waited she would then appear to be "not over it" in a few months. Which is the last thing you want to do with an ex after time has passed (to let them know it still bothers you)


So... if she is going to do this. best to do it sooner than later.

LighterGuy

Op,
here is the thing in life. Some people will say "take the high road" while others will say "he deserves it" ....

in this world tho, it seems to be an eye for an eye.
Cheating is and will always be one of the worst things a partner can do (the other one is to hit a partner, which he has done too)

So if you want to lock him out and all his accounts. Why not. I dont think anyone would call you petty. I sure wouldnt.


But just realise that this wont get any closure. It wont take away the feelings of being hurt. But within saying that you have the opportunity to get a lil' payback. Why not take it.

neveah

Other posters are right, hang onto your dignity, you will be glad you did! Last thing you want is to come across as the psycho ex-girlfriend. Unfortunately when you go through a break up, especially a bad one, every emotion is powerful and strong and takes you over. You do and say things you normally wouldn't do in a million years! It's only as you work through the process that you calm down and you can begin to see clearly. Acting on emotions is not always a good thing, you may regret it if the revenge doesn't work out the way that you would have liked, it may not give you the satisfaction you need.

I know you're angry and you want to get revenge but really he'll just delete any status updates so that they will disappear.

Tell people what an ass he is, people will probably figure that out anyway for themselves if he's a cheater and violent, in fact they probably already know that he's not really a great person. Best of luck to that girl at work that he's with now, wait until he does the dirt on her.....

The best revenge you can give him is to completely and utterly ignore him.

MissHoneyBun

Have never understood this revenge concept. Sure, what he did was appalling. But there are appalling people in life, doesn't mean we go around lowering ourselves to plot revenge on them all. Grow up and have some respect for yourself even if he doesn't.

LegacyUser

Grow up and have some respect for yourself even if he doesn't.

very well said. completely agree.

tinkerbell

If you go out looking for revenge, you will come off as looking worse than he is. Better off to cut him out of your life and just move on. Obviously now you are annoyed, but this is the only way to go. If you stoop to his level and do mean things, then you both look bad. Right now, he is the bad one.

astra2000

op this guy slapped you across the face when you confronted him on cheating on you, What do you think he may be capable of doing if you shame him in public? Go to the cops I think the shame in been questioned on hitting a woman may be enough of revenge. Best of luck op you are much better off with out a cheating coward.

Big Bag of Chips

I'd still delete his accounts though!

Or just delete a few friends and email addresses or something.. subtle stuff that he may or may not recognise, or may think it's just "hiccoughs"!

Serious question too, but will the guards take notice, without any evidence?

Novella

That's an absolutely terrible idea. It screams childishness. Seriously. He hurt you. The best thing to do now is just move on, from it and from him completely.

TitoPuente

Have to agree with the majority here. Whatever about coming across as vengeful, people will also wonder "Hmmm... wonder what she was doing with his password in the first place?"

LegacyUser

I know his facebook password and am sooooooooooooooooo tempted to go into his
account and change his status to something like - I'm a lying cheating sack of sh*t.

He doesn't know that i know his password but I do.

Is this a terrible idea?

He's a complete w*nker and I think he deserves it.

I actually don't think I can stop myself from doing this...

yeah this is great revenge...if you're 16 for gods sake!

Ooooohhh messing you his facebook account, like O.M.G...could you be anymore childish!
its facebook, even if you did it, i doubt he'd give a s**t to be honest, again hes not 16, why would he even care. If you do it, it'll just make you look pathetic. If you're going to get revenge, you might as well come up with something that might actually annoy him.

But i don't recommend it, it the guy hits you when you confront him, you're just bringing trouble on yourself by pi**ing him off even more. Report him for assault and move on with your life. Have some grace and dignity.

The fact that you're sitting there plotting revenge shows that he still has a hold over you.

dellas1979

Dont do it OP!

The fury you must be feeling Id say is unreal (and rightly so) but dont do it - walk away.

Short term solution to something that you will regret in the long term.

Get a punch bag and put his head on it.

LegacyUser

Why are people not more upset that he walloped her????

Dont bother with the small fry re email. The cheating is small fry compared to the fack that he cause you physical harm. Rpeort him to the guards and make sure they contact him. What a thug... You have had a lucky escape. Just count your blessings, warn the guards in case he does it again and move on...

I firmly believe you NEVER truly know someone so dont beat yourself up about that. We only ever see what people want us to see....

Moomoo1

OP

do it

EDIT: and yes, lock him out

Kimono-Girl

neveah wrote: »

Other posters are right, hang onto your dignity, you will be glad you did! Last thing you want is to come across as the psycho ex-girlfriend. Unfortunately when you go through a break up, especially a bad one, every emotion is powerful and strong and takes you over. You do and say things you normally wouldn't do in a million years! It's only as you work through the process that you calm down and you can begin to see clearly.

+1 This.

neveah wrote: »

Acting on emotions is not always a good thing, you may regret it if the revenge doesn't work out the way that you would have liked, it may not give you the satisfaction you need.

++1 Especially This!

neveah wrote: »

The best revenge you can give him is to completely and utterly ignore him.

It really is the only way forward in this! i really feel for you but in your own best interests, delete him, forget him (and his passwords), and believe me you will be a much better and happier person when you do!

Kingpin187

dont do the Facebook thing, he will just think its pathetic and probably get off on it

re: hitting you, wtf.. Ive never understood how someone could possibly hit a partner. You are better off, hes somebody elses problem now

also I believe in karma so he'll get his in the end.

Wompa1

I say do it and change the password so he can't get on anymore. Post a lot of garbage on his page. He'll probably think your being petty but at least you'll get the last laugh..just my opinion.

enda1

unregistered wrote: »

Go to the gardaí and report him for assault. If he does the same to his next girlfriend, and she reports him, he'll get a visit from them. It's a long shot, but at least you'll be doing something concrete.
Grieve for the relationship you thought you had, grieve for what happened. Talk to friends about it. Eight years is a long time so surely they'll lend an ear, or a shoulder to cry on.
Then put it all behind you and start living your life again.
Good luck

This + get an STI check just to be sure.

Wagon

Never mind the facebook thing (although do it if it makes you feel a little better), but definately report the cúnt to the guards! Cheated on you and then smacked you one cos you found out? ****in prick, it doesn't go much lower than that.

jimmycrackcorm

franticantics wrote: »

When I confronted him about the cheating he slapped me across the face. He admitted
he was cheating but was angry that I'd found out and he lashed out at me.

Is there a bit you are not telling us? You must have done a little more than tell him you found out he was cheating, in order to provoke such a strong reaction.

LegacyUser

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

Is there a bit you are not telling us? You must have done a little more than tell him you found out he was cheating, in order to provoke such a strong reaction.

Not necessarily. My ex shoved me out of our bed and pushed me across the room with force once for no other reason than he was feeling out of sorts and I was making chit chat. People can turn suddenly vicious in a way you've never seen before, it's quite scary when it happens.

Motley Crue

humanji wrote: »

It'll only make you look bad and won't make you feel any better. The best way of getting back at him is by cutting him out of your life completely.

I agree. And a guy who slaps you in the face is not worth knowing in the slightest. Simply block him and move on, nothing more to be said.

Fox McCloud

The facebook revenge would be good if he moved out and took your favourite DVDs or something.. This is considerably more serious than that.

I think you should definately report the asault to the guards. I know you might be reluctant to do this for many reasons but it is the action that will make you come out of this feeling powerful and dignified.

Cheating is bad. Hitting a person is really really bad. But hitting someone because they caught you doing something that hurts them is just so beyond screwed up. I know its a cliche but you can be happy in the knowledge that you wont be spending any more of your life with a guy who would do such a horrible thing.

LegacyUser

I agree with everyone else here. Also because logging onto ppls facebook now and putting up dirty or weird messages is so common, ppl will probably think its a joke or something. But when they do realise its you, you'll only come across as mental, which he will say you are......even though you're not in the wrong since he really abused your trust. Also If he's violent, Id do something about that. He sounds like a bully.

Bottle_of_Smoke

jellytots13 wrote: »

I agree with everyone else here. Also because logging onto ppls facebook now and putting up dirty or weird messages is so common, ppl will probably think its a joke or something. But when they do realise its you, you'll only come across as mental, which he will say you are......even though you're not in the wrong since he really abused your trust. Also If he's violent, Id do something about that. He sounds like a bully.

Was gonna post pretty much the same as this. It is pointless to do as he'll just delete the comment and change his password.

I don't know if it will hit you. Its possible the anger is delaying it but maybe it will put off the upset. I think you're mostly gonna just be annoyed at time you spent with him.

Best to just move on. The past doesn't exist anymore. You can't turn back the clock so you should just make your future the best it can be.

luciusesox

I strongly suggest you report him to the Gardai as others have on this thread.

As for FB, it is a difficult not to act when you have the power (and just cause) to act. Had you considered accessing the account and posting an update stating that you are now longer with him due to the affair and also due to his physical response (for which you have reported him to the Gardai). You can say that you are posting this as a warning to any others who may be involved with him and suspending his account.

Then change his password and his password recovery options/email.

metrovelvet

why not more upset wrote: »

Why are people not more upset that he walloped her????

Dont bother with the small fry re email. The cheating is small fry compared to the fack that he cause you physical harm. Rpeort him to the guards and make sure they contact him. What a thug... You have had a lucky escape. Just count your blessings, warn the guards in case he does it again and move on...

I firmly believe you NEVER truly know someone so dont beat yourself up about that. We only ever see what people want us to see....

The guards arent going to do anything about a slap in the face. No medical evidence and no witnesses.

Best revenge is to get your happiness back.

Your facebook idea is stupid. He'll just laugh and call you a liar and make you out to be hysterical and then his friends will think you deserved a slap in the face and no wonder he cheated. Wrong, but that's how these things happen.

Lorrs33

The best revenge is to report him to the Gardai. Even find some way of making sure that his employer is aware of the incident, seeing as they have to be informed of criminal history. Then all his workmates will find out, including the one he cheated on you with.

BobbyOLeary

Lorrs33 wrote: »

The best revenge is to report him to the Gardai. Even find some way of making sure that his employer is aware of the incident, seeing as they have to be informed of criminal history. Then all his workmates will find out, including the one he cheated on you with.

Even though she has no proof of this except her word? You only get a criminal history following a conviction, not someone going to the police. If that was the case anyone could ruin your life by simply strolling to the local station and making something up.

Frankly if she reports it he'll deny it and it'll go nowhere. OP just leave it. The revenge idea is childish, as much as it may appeal to you now you'll regret it. Rise above it and leave him alone. Forever.

Lorrs33

BobbyOLeary wrote: »

Even though she has no proof of this except her word? You only get a criminal history following a conviction, not someone going to the police. If that was the case anyone could ruin your life by simply strolling to the local station and making something up.

Frankly if she reports it he'll deny it and it'll go nowhere. OP just leave it. The revenge idea is childish, as much as it may appeal to you now you'll regret it. Rise above it and leave him alone. Forever.

So you're saying that every woman is helpless and has to have a bruise before claims of abuse can be taken seriously?

LegacyUser

OP,

Don't do the FB thing - you will just end up being branded a psycho and somehow blamed for everything.

Just tell everyone what happened very matter of factly not being catty and bitchy about but say to as many of your friends/his friends (unless they are all losers too) "I am so devasted found out x was cheating on me and he then slapped me when I confronted him"
leave it at that don't start taking about revenge plots or calling him an asshole (which he clearly is) allow other people to do that for you when they hear.

Imagine the word will spread and being known as a cheater and gf beater is not great for your social standing.

Box clever here.

Also, I would report this to the guards 100%. It is never ok to hit anyone and while I am sure nothing will happen to him a visit from the guards might scare him a little.

goose2005

Taltos wrote: »

As an above poster recommended - report him to the Gardai - this was an assault. It might not be a black eye - but this guy struck you on the face...
Clearly he has no respect nor control.

And if a woman slaps a man it's *cue laugh track* :rolleyes:

Lorrs33 wrote: »

So you're saying that every woman is helpless and has to have a bruise before claims of abuse can be taken seriously?

If it's only her word, then it's not enough for a conviction. If he hasn't been convicted, then telling his employer about it is basically slander.

IrishEyes19

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I'd still delete his accounts though!

Or just delete a few friends and email addresses or something.. subtle stuff that he may or may not recognise, or may think it's just "hiccoughs"!

Serious question too, but will the guards take notice, without any evidence?

Thats horrendous, for all you know he needs those email addresses that she could delete if someone was away for the year and only corresponding by email or if they were ill and waiting on emails from various sources. I know what he did was horrible and unforgiveable, but that action is just drastic and could have a ripple effect too.

Take the higher ground, OP, and walk away. Never contacting him again is the best revenge, that will cut at him in the long run, when you move on without a backward glance.

LegacyUser

goose2005 wrote: »

And if a woman slaps a man it's *cue laugh track* :rolleyes:

Have you actually been hit by a woman, you reported it to the gardaí and they laughed in your face? Because unless you have, your opinion is based on nothing but your skewed view of the world.