Toilets.

TimeToShine

Can some seasoned veteran please tell me which are the best toilets in UCD to take a glorious dump in? I've only used the ones in Science and Daedalus and they seem pretty shít to me. Thanks.

PS- Best toilets in Dublin = Brown Thomas, followed shortly by Clerys. best **** of your life right there.

Conor108

I love your threads:D

TimeToShine

Now that the formalities are out of the way, onto the real issue.
Toilets, which are the best?

Killer Pigeon

Beside the computers in the foyer of the Ag building (I don't know if there are really toilets there but it certainly smells like shit).

tommy21

Perhaps a nappy might suit you? All the privacy and comfort you could want, without leaving your seat.

errlloyd

Generally speaking the higher you go, the better they get...

parker kent

O'Reilly Hall has pretty good toilets. You feel like a champ taking a dump in there. Plus there are some in the Tierney Building that are pretty sweet, but not sure you mere students can use them or not

It can be one of the biggest challenges in UCD to find a toilet that doesn't look like somebody has taken a dump on it from 10 feet or had people stuff 10 rolls of tissue down. People putting gum in them and blocking it up doesn't help either!

TimeToShine

errlloyd wrote: »

Generally speaking the higher you go, the better they get...

Please elaborate.

FlutterinBantam

Look horse, if you have a loose round in the chamber and the the auld jocks are getting the 'witches kiss' head for the squash courts down at the sports centre.

Nice and warm, good room, and plenty of background noise to mask the low rumble of a sour peppery run of ripe midden exiting the sphincter and thwacking solidly off the back of the pan..

One can unload there in full confidence, put the full squeeze on, and blow out loose meaty chunks with the expectation that there will be no 'tut tutting' from the vestibule of the toilet.

The Flutt blew out a meaty load with accompanying 'noises off' in the Grange Golf Club recently and heard a 'tut tutting' from the body of the hall as it were.

So there you go buddy, build up a head of steam after the curry takeaway and and the stodgy chips and don't be afraid to build up the full compressor strength and hose out a nice loose peppery lad in there.

Extra marks if you cloud the seat in a thin skein of watery mist.

Have one for me;)

TimeToShine

Uh where's the O'Reilly hall? name rings a bell but can't remember where :pac:

YouthNovel

Health Science building... pretty healthy dump possible in there.

RandomName2

TimeToShine wrote: »

Can some seasoned veteran please tell me which are the best toilets in UCD to take a glorious dump in? I've only used the ones in Science and Daedalus and they seem pretty shít to me. Thanks.

PS- Best toilets in Dublin = Brown Thomas, followed shortly by Clerys. best **** of your life right there.

How do I know this stuff?

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055810447
:pac:

tommy21

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Look horse, if you have a loose round in the chamber and the the auld jocks are getting the 'witches kiss' head for the squash courts down at the sports centre.

Nice and warm, good room, and plenty of background noise to mask the low rumble of a sour peppery run of ripe midden exiting the sphincter and thwacking solidly off the back of the pan..

One can unload there in full confidence, put the full squeeze on, and blow out loose meaty chunks with the expectation that there will be no 'tut tutting' from the vestibule of the toilet.

The Flutt blew out a meaty load with accompanying 'noises off' in the Grange Golf Club recently and heard a 'tut tutting' from the body of the hall as it were.

So there you go buddy, build up a head of steam after the curry takeaway and and the stodgy chips and don't be afraid to build up the full compressor strength and hose out a nice loose peppery lad in there.

Extra marks if you cloud the seat in a thin skein of watery mist.

Have one for me;)

Pure poetry.

helimachoptor

as a comp sci head i really liked the ones in arts i think around the H lecture hall

RandomName2

TimeToShine wrote: »

Uh where's the O'Reilly hall? name rings a bell but can't remember where :pac:

*Cough* the first thing you went to in UCD?

TimeToShine

RandomName2 wrote: »

*Cough* the first thing you went to in UCD?

The Presidents welcome thing?

Chet T16

TimeToShine wrote: »

Uh where's the O'Reilly hall? name rings a bell but can't remember where :pac:

No baby changing facilities in o' reilly hall, as a result my daughter done a poo on the reception desk while I was changing her nappy. So I'm going with that as a good place for a crap.

TimeToShine

YouthNovel wrote: »

Health Science building... pretty healthy dump possible in there.

10/10 for the pun

Einstein?

I wonder how much you shine when you're taking a glorious dump!

bnt

The refurbished bogs on the 1st floor of Physics are pretty decent. These modern materials are pretty easy to clean.

errlloyd

TimeToShine wrote: »

Please elaborate.

Basically people go for a dump on their way somewhere. People walking from Belgrove to the SU centre, might dump in the arts bathrooms near the copier. You want the ones no one goes to.

The ones at the very top of the arts block, well they're in the middle of no persons journey. They're the perfect dumping ground.

Ruski

Physics building seems to have a nice jacks. It's a small area, perfect for a spot of meditation.

RandolphEsq

Arts; floor 2 BC block, floor 4 BC block, floor 3 AD block, floor 5 AD block.

fullstop

Conway, there's never anybody in there.

FlutterinBantam

fullstop wrote: »

Conway, there's never anybody in there.

Not so my friend, bad advice there.

Whilst doing some research in the Conway Institute I felt a strong 'pull' in the nipsy area.

Having consumed a roasting hot curry the prev. I knew the round could be unstable and immediately headed for the bogs for a nice comfortable dump.

Shortly after 0930 I entered the stall area and noticed one of them occupied.

Suddenly, like a sack of stones being dumped in a pond, accompanied by a vicious queefer of a fart,the gimp in the stall unloaded the full magazine followed by the copious afters and a dark cloying fetid stink descended on the facility like a focking thick mist.

Despite my urgency I immediately departed but never attempted a dump in the Conway ever since.

Traumatic:eek:

Chet T16

Second (or is it first) floor gents in the science hub has got to be the worst toilet ever.

rainbow kirby

Ladies on the top floor of the Computer Science building. Rarely ever used. :pac:

Ruski

Chet T16 wrote: »

Second (or is it first) floor gents in the science hub has got to be the worst toilet ever.

Such an exhilarating feeling to be in those toilets. Reminds me of the anal suppository scene in Trainspotting.

TimeToShine

After a tedious day of college today, I felt it was time for one of the aforementioned shíts.

After a 15 minute debate with myself, and after letting off a watery fart, I decided to go with the O'Reilly Hall. I was not disappointed.

I was greeted by the pleasant smell of Roses, and lo and behold there was a vase of roses in the corner. At each sink there was a tub of Palmolive Milk and Honey, my favourite kind , each sitting oh so royally on a stand of pure aluminium.

Then I entered the haven known as the Toilet itself. Spotless, 2 rolls of tissue AND a coat hanger so one can take off his/her trousers and spread the legs for maximum shítting comfort. The lack of top class graffiti from our intellectual and educated fellow students was missed and I admit quite disappointing, but the scenery was quite relaxing and the shít came out quite pleasantly.

Upon finishing, I used a lot of toilet roll to clean up after me, and WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT it went down in ONE FLUSH. Truly miraculous stuff.

Now onto the rating system:

Smell : 9/10

Scenery: 6/10

Solitude:10/10

Facilities: 10/10

Size: 7/10


I will keep you all updated as I venture forth through UCD, mercilessly subjecting each and every toilet to the most rigorous of tests, in order to find out who truly deserves to swallow up my, nay OUR shít every day.

unknown13

TimeToShine wrote: »

After a tedious day of college today, I felt it was time for one of the aforementioned shíts.

After a 15 minute debate with myself, and after letting off a watery fart, I decided to go with the O'Reilly Hall. I was not disappointed.

I was greeted by the pleasant smell of Roses, and lo and behold there was a vase of roses in the corner. At each sink there was a tub of Palmolive Milk and Honey, my favourite kind , each sitting oh so royally on a stand of pure aluminium.

Then I entered the haven known as the Toilet itself. Spotless, 2 rolls of tissue AND a coat hanger so one can take off his/her trousers and spread the legs for maximum shítting comfort. The lack of top class graffiti from our intellectual and educated fellow students was missed and I admit quite disappointing, but the scenery was quite relaxing and the shít came out quite pleasantly.

Upon finishing, I used a lot of toilet roll to clean up after me, and WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT it went down in ONE FLUSH. Truly miraculous stuff.

Now onto the rating system:

Smell : 9/10

Scenery: 6/10

Solitude:10/10

Facilities: 10/10

Size: 7/10


I will keep you all updated as I venture forth through UCD, mercilessly subjecting each and every toilet to the most rigorous of tests, in order to find out who truly deserves to swallow up my, nay OUR shít every day.

No need to be going really indepth with the reviews because if you need to go bad you will go regards how filthy they are. I said previously the men's in the Science hub are a stinking shíthole and tiny. The ones by the Dramasoc theatre in the Newman are the best because they are brand new and immaculate. The ones opposite Theatre L are also good aswell.

Ruski

TimeToShine, you deserve a section in the Observer, submitting reviews of on-campus toilets.

unknown13

Ruski wrote: »

TimeToShine, you deserve a section in the Observer, submitting reviews of on-campus toilets.

TimeToShine deserves a section for Ranting. Week 1: "The Gamesoc is gay". Week 2: "Toiltets". Week 3: TBD

dynamot

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Look horse, if you have a loose round in the chamber and the the auld jocks are getting the 'witches kiss' head for the squash courts down at the sports centre.

Nice and warm, good room, and plenty of background noise to mask the low rumble of a sour peppery run of ripe midden exiting the sphincter and thwacking solidly off the back of the pan..

One can unload there in full confidence, put the full squeeze on, and blow out loose meaty chunks with the expectation that there will be no 'tut tutting' from the vestibule of the toilet.

The Flutt blew out a meaty load with accompanying 'noises off' in the Grange Golf Club recently and heard a 'tut tutting' from the body of the hall as it were.

So there you go buddy, build up a head of steam after the curry takeaway and and the stodgy chips and don't be afraid to build up the full compressor strength and hose out a nice loose peppery lad in there.

Extra marks if you cloud the seat in a thin skein of watery mist.

Have one for me;)

thats disgustingly descriptive

**Timbuk2**

TTS, you're actually hilarious - I sort of wish you were in the same course as me (you came close ).

Keep the reviews up - they make me laugh.

Plus I didn't know students could use the bathrooms in O'Reilly Hall?

parker kent

**Timbuk2** wrote: »

Plus I didn't know students could use the bathrooms in O'Reilly Hall?

Well you can if O'Reilly Hall is open and you are in there (like at a graduation or one of the bigger Lawsoc or L&H events). Otherwise, and this pun is entirely intended, tough shít

TimeToShine

They're doing some kind of construction or something so the doors are open, so basically our shítting pleasure depends on whether or not the builders do their jobs... so a definite no for a while anyway

FlutterinBantam

TimeToShine wrote: »

After a tedious day of college today, I felt it was time for one of the aforementioned shíts.

After a 15 minute debate with myself, and after letting off a watery fart, I decided to go with the O'Reilly Hall. I was not disappointed.

I was greeted by the pleasant smell of Roses, and lo and behold there was a vase of roses in the corner. At each sink there was a tub of Palmolive Milk and Honey, my favourite kind , each sitting oh so royally on a stand of pure aluminium.

Then I entered the haven known as the Toilet itself. Spotless, 2 rolls of tissue AND a coat hanger so one can take off his/her trousers and spread the legs for maximum shítting comfort. The lack of top class graffiti from our intellectual and educated fellow students was missed and I admit quite disappointing, but the scenery was quite relaxing and the shít came out quite pleasantly.

Upon finishing, I used a lot of toilet roll to clean up after me, and WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT it went down in ONE FLUSH. Truly miraculous stuff.

Now onto the rating system:

Smell : 9/10

Scenery: 6/10

Solitude:10/10

Facilities: 10/10

Size: 7/10


I will keep you all updated as I venture forth through UCD, mercilessly subjecting each and every toilet to the most rigorous of tests, in order to find out who truly deserves to swallow up my, nay OUR shít every day.

Excellent use of your time, truly worthwhile.

Could I respectfully suggest that as the Autumn season sinks into Winter and the trees divest themselves of their verdant foliage, you rate the shitters for heat as well.

One cannot have a comfortable evacuation in a cold shitter
as the freckle will not expand to release the ripe burnished 'King Edward'.

Just a suggestion mind, hope you don't take umbrage.

parker kent

TimeToShine wrote: »

They're doing some kind of construction or something so the doors are open, so basically our shítting pleasure depends on whether or not the builders do their jobs... so a definite no for a while anyway

You really should thank me for letting you know about the toileting delights of O'Reilly Hall.

unknown13

This is the solution to your problem.

Ruski

Sure, standing it's grand but what if you have to squat? Should we get one of them public jacks which are made out of glass, but you can't see inside? Cos those are badass.

HavingCrack

Don't go near the Newstead toilets....awful place altogether. The basement toilets in the Sports Centre are fairly dingy as well.

The basement toilets in the Library building beside the SU shop were quite nice last time I was 'doing my business'.

antomorro-sei

This thread is excellent. Bravo, lads.

laserlad2010

might I recommend something that may shock other users... try the disabled toilets in the Health Science building, top or 2nd floor, very seldom used and quite private. Kept well clean too. You can even make use of the aids to sit yourself down, and, if you're feeling particularly lazy, you can ring the alarm bell to get someone from the reception come and help you out...

FlutterinBantam

Very well observed.

Nothing like a strong set of bars to brace oneself when trying to back out an enormous crusty log.

Takes the strain from the lower back and sphincter and give excellent control when the the log is 'crowning'.

Good man ,keep up the good work.

FlutterinBantam

Crimped off a glistening 'King Edward' into #3 stall O'Reilly shitters today.

Looked almost regal and Titanic like as she slipped into the 'S'.

Awesome!

**Timbuk2**

/Adds to list of toilets that I won't be going into

WeeBushy

TTS, I humbly suggest you try out the jacks up stairs in the ag building. They are surprisingly clean considering the clientele, and quiet as well. I think your cheeks would quite enjoy it.

Don't use the ones downstairs though, just a word of warning.

Gi joe!

Ruski wrote: »

Such an exhilarating feeling to be in those toilets. Reminds me of the anal suppository scene in Trainspotting.

x2

There's just something about the confinement and overall atmosphere of those toilets that makes me feel more alive than anywhere else.

My first day of college I entered those jacks a boy, but left a man.........

Chet T16

Gi joe! wrote: »

x2
My first day of college I entered those jacks a boy, but left a man.........

And i'll never forget you x

Mardy Bum

50 posts and counting about toilets? Has this got a wee bit embarrassing yet?

FlutterinBantam

:rolleyes:

Not in the slightest, horse.