At what point in a new relationship does a girl go halfsies on nights out?

LegacyUser

I kind of have a silly problem here but I would appreciate anyones advice on this. I am currently dating my gf for the past few months now and everything is going great. We are at the getting to know each other stage and... well tbh it has been the longest relationship I have been in so maybe that is why I am so clueless when it comes to broaching this problem.

Basically the problem is that I pay for everything when we go out or are together. For the first few weeks I did this willingly because I asked her out and it has always been my belief that when a guy asks a girl out then he pays... fast forward a few months and it is still the same.... Now I am in a good job and so is she (she used to be a nurse but now she works in creche) and it is not like I am in debt because of this but I don't know how to approach the subject with her and I thought she would eventually cop on to it as the relationship became more steady etc..... Now I guess this final hit home though when we were on a night out with friends of hers from her college days (and without getting into the specifics as she insisted I meet her friends), I paid for her night out basically and a friend of hers at one point.... it is not like she is broke either because she has planned a trip abroad with her friends in a few weeks so I know she is saving her money for that so it may be a factor.

Now I know people will say grow a pair, just say it to her and thats fine, I get that but how do I tactfully bring this to her attention.... I really like this girl but I don't want to come across as a scrooge but I don't want this to because the usual state of affairs wither... Tbh I don't mind picking up the bill the most of the time but it would be nice if she did too every now and again.

Any advice would be appreciated so thanks in advance

Miss Fluff

Does she never offer to pay? :eek: Surely out of basic manners she'd return the favour and treat you sometimes too??

If you don't want to have a big "talk" about it, basically drop it casually in conversation that you've a few big bills coming up over the next while so does she mind from now on that you go Dutch on nights out. Keep it simple and to the point. If she is reasonable and decent of course she won't mind.

metrovelvet

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Does she never offer to pay? :eek: Surely out of basic manners she'd return the favour and treat you sometimes too??

If you don't want to have a big "talk" about it, basically drop it casually in conversation that you've a few big bills coming up over the next while so does she mind from now on that you go Dutch on nights out. Keep it simple and to the point. If she is reasonable and decent of course she won't mind.

That smacks of bull****.

OP just tell her.

dory

I'm shocked.
Definitely say something, or even just, 'Who's getting the next round' while on a night out. As for at what point should this happen. Date No.2 I'd say.

RacoonQueen

I pretty much would have been going halfsies all the time with my ex. He buy movie tickets I'd buy treats, he'd buy drink I'd pay in to the comedy etc... don't think either of us ever treated the other to a night out actually.

tinkerbell

Wow, that's shocking. However, there are some girls who will try to milk it for as long as they possibly can, and unfortunately she seems like one of them.

Jees OP, I don't know what to advise here on how to bring this up. I do know that me and my boyfriend take it turns in paying when we go out. I think it is shocking that some girls just expect the man for pay for everything, that is so selfish and greedy.

Miss Fluff

metrovelvet wrote: »

That smacks of bull****.

OP just tell her.

I agree this smacks of bullsh1t, but from her perspective he has been more than happy to pay her way thusfar (and her friends :eek:) so she will wonder why the sudden shift of the goal-posts. Coming up with an excuse like bills is a handy get-out-of-jail card excuse for him to not have to pay her way anymore as he now has a non-negotiable excuse rather than him simply saying he's getting p1ssed off with her sponging.

magneticimpulse

ive never heard of a girl so selfish in my life ever!!! In this day and age in ireland, id never meet a guy who would expect to pay all the time. Of course guys offer...but no one actually expects the guy to pay...you just accept the nice gesture and say no.


Ive never gone a date with a guy and let him spend money on me ever ever ever. If a guy buys me a drink...im up there getting the next round. Dinner is split half way. If he gets the cinema tickets, i get the eddie rockets meal and so on.

Seriously about 96% of women would never act this way and yes you do need to cop on. Where have you been hiding that you have been paying for everything? She is completely walking all over you. If she doesnt cop on and start paying her way...id tell her to get a taxi home and never call her again!!

Ickle Magoo

By all means try to drop it into the general conversation but I'd have to ask why anyone would actually want to date someone who saw them as an ATM?

LighterGuy

Hmmmm,
Im my experience, and experience watching friends bad relationships....

Its hightens the factor of being used if a girl doesnt want to pay for things.
I've been in relationships where I was just the "for now boyfriend" (aka, better than nothing") - as I have seen friends in the same position. They all had one common coincidence that we (the guy) paid for everything.

Its too much of a coincidence.
Im not saying that maybe you are being used op. But I am saying when a girl clearly doesnt want to pay for things it is a big sign to being used.

magneticimpulse

LighterGuy wrote: »

Hmmmm,
Im my experience, and experience watching friends bad relationships....

Its hightens the factor of being used if a girl doesnt want to pay for things.
I've been in relationships where I was just the "for now boyfriend" (aka, better than nothing") - as I have seen friends in the same position. They all had one common coincidence that we (the guy) paid for everything.

Its too much of a coincidence.
Im not saying that maybe you are being used op. But I am saying when a girl clearly doesnt want to pay for things it is a big sign to being used.

He's being used 100%. No girl in her right mind would pass more then 1 date without at least offering to pay. If not insisting on going half way.

LighterGuy

Then I guess my original instinct is right.

Op, you are getting used.
And this is coming from a person who learned the hard way.

2 girls come to mind with my experience. In both I paid for everything. Thought they really cared for me. They even said. It didnt stop both eventually cheating on me.

One thing I will add is that I have even dated girls who had no money! on the social welfare. You know what? they wouldnt let me pay for everything.
So it just goes to show you. Even if a girl has no money and you pay for everything. You're still being used. It doesnt matter if she is working or not. Once you pay for everything. You're being used big time.

I would walk op. Dont make the same mistakes I did. Learn from mine.

beks101

OK I know the default response around here can often be 'break up with him/her', but in your case I think it's justified.

Your girlfriend is not only accepting, but in a way, insisting, on you paying for everything, and this is indicative of a major character flaw. It's not one that's so easy to work through either. It shows that she's selfish, self involved, self righteous and possibly a bit stingy.

Why should your relationship have to rack you up such expense, while it doesn't cost her a penny? Can you honestly say you can 100% enjoy your relationship, while she leeches off you with absolutely no regard for the financial drain it's causing you? Does she think you're her sugar daddy or some poor fool who effectively has to pay for her company and affection? This just shows a complete lack of respect for you on her part.

And just so it's clear, you should know that this is NOT normal behaviour - most girls would be mortified to have the guy foot the bill over and over again - even if it's a first date most girls I know would at the very least, offer to pay or go halfsies.

LegacyUser

beks101 wrote: »

OK I know the default response around here can often be 'break up with him/her', but in your case I think it's justified.

Your girlfriend is not only accepting, but in a way, insisting, on you paying for everything, and this is indicative of a major character flaw. It's not one that's so easy to work through either. It shows that she's selfish, self involved, self righteous and possibly a bit stingy.

Why should your relationship have to rack you up such expense, while it doesn't cost her a penny? Can you honestly say you can 100% enjoy your relationship, while she leeches off you with absolutely no regard for the financial drain it's causing you? Does she think you're her sugar daddy or some poor fool who effectively has to pay for her company and affection? This just shows a complete lack of respect for you on her part.

And just so it's clear, you should know that this is NOT normal behaviour - most girls would be mortified to have the guy foot the bill over and over again - even if it's a first date most girls I know would at the very least, offer to pay or go halfsies.

Dreading the idea that she might be using me but I do feel happy in the relationship except for this one thing. I will try dropping it into conversation on a night out and I guess I will only know what I can do after that.....

dudara

I agree with a lot of the posters here. Now, I wouldn't go off looking for every bill to be split 50% down the middle. That would get super-tedious very fast. What I would look for is every second (or there abouts) bill to be taken care of.

I buy one meal, he buys the next. Or he buys the drink one night, I pay for dinner etc. As long as the split is overall approx 50%, then it's fine.

It was one thing for a man to pay for all items when women didn't work outside the home. It's a completely different story now.

Lady von Purple

OP, I think dropping it into conversation on a night out- or raising the issue of having bills to pay as earlier suggested- would be the best place to start. I personally wouldn't expect a guy to pay for me either, my boyfriend and I almost always go halves. However, you did assume that the guy pays for the girl... Isn't it possible that she has the same assumptions? I'm just saying, don't be too quick to assume you're being used UNTIL you speak to her and see how she reacts. A flaw like this is definitely not worth ending an otherwise happy relationship (unless of course she starts stamping her feet at the mention of putting her hand in her pocket.) Best of luck!

La frog fairy

agree agree agree...unless she was born yesterday she is openly taking advantage of your generosity.

Sorry but paying for her friends drinks as well is ridiculous, I know you like her a lot but grow a pair (excuse my language;)) and have a nice little chat with her and ask if she can participate next time.

You can mention bills etc as suggested although I would be worry she thinks its temporary and will wait that "your bills issues" get better to go back to not paying.

Honesty is the best policy, if you cant be honest about something like this what future does your relationship has.

ams

I'm very surprised that she would be comfortable letting you pay for all those nights out. Fair enough for the first date maybe - the only time I would let my bf pay for dinner is on my birthday and then Id insist on paying for the wine.

If she has a decent job and can afford her nights out she should be paying 50/50 - it looks like she doesn't have a lot of respect for you or else thinks you are Mr Moneybags.

Chicago Chick

My opinion would be the same as most of the other posters on here, she is taking advantage of your generousity. Most women would never dream of doing this and it needs to be stopped. It is not up to you to pay for your girlfriend every time you are out and as for adding her friend to the list, that is beyond unacceptable. You need to say it to her and find out where you stand.

Distorted

Does sound like a golddigger. So unless you are some kind of oligarch and happy with this and she is a supermodel/actress/all round beauty, it might be best to heed the warning signs and find someone more genuine.

My cousin married someone like this and is now facing paying out a massive divorce settlement. There was always some reason why she couldn't pay her share which then quickly escalated to why she had to give up work, get her name on the title deeds of the house she wasn't contributing to, get pregnant, etc.. Wasn't even a looker.

Glowing

Easy solution - next time she asks you for a night out, refuse and say you don't have the money this month because of x bill or whatever ... if she is decent she will offer to go halves or pay for both of you ...

Seraphina

I have seen this problem come up so many times, and all I ever think is

"If I was dating a guy I liked and respected, I would never let him do that"

It's basic manners to chip in, buy yourself drinks etc at the very least, if not buy dinner for him once or twice. The fact that she expected you to pay for her and her college friends smacks of being used tbh. This is not the middle ages, you do not have to 'woo' her and throw your money around to gain her favour, either she likes you for you, or she doesn't.

Darlughda

Even on a 1st date with a professional who earned well in excess of €100k and me on social welfare, did I expect nothing other than go halves on the coffees we had.

Ok, in fairness, I did think it was just a little mean of him not to pay.

Nonetheless, I always pay my own way, regardless of my meagre status. I personally would not allow a fella pay for me, unless I could reciprocate the next ticket.

magneticimpulse

yep im unemployed and would still pay for things. I think coffees is ok to let go...but id get the next beer or whatever. Even now on nights out with friends, id still get a round of drinks. Theres no excuse.

The only times i accept free stuff, is if a guy i dont know asks me what im drinking in a nightclub or if someone offers me a glass of wine in a nightclub. (of course only if it came straight from the barman and i knew it was fine to drink)

However if out on a date, id always go half way.

I understand you like her, but you seriously should drop a major hint your not happy with it. If she gets offensive, dump her...no girl is good looking or smart enough for you to deserved to be treated like crap.

Ive always been like this...but once I went on a date with a girl and it turned me off ever wanting to date women...she was like ...get me a drink...i was like? ok...but thankfully she did get the next drink. On way home she left me short for the taxi. I seriously thought...jeez if this is how girls treat blokes id hate to be a man.

nuttytart

I go halfs with my OH on everything have always done so. I love and respect him.

But I have ( a long time ago ) been in a relationship where I expected no demanded the guy pay, sure I was worth it! I even made him pay for friends drinks. I was young selfish and I didn't give a crap about the guy. I pushed him to see how much I could get from him not caring if he got hurt or pissed off and broke up with me coz I had no feelings for him, it was a horrible thing to do and I am now ashamed of it but I know for certain it's not as rare as some think.

The main indicator that this is what is actually happening as apposed to her being oblivious to what she's doing is how you feel OP. Do you feel some how that she might be out of your league? That your lucky to be with her?

Coz if you do she knows this and uses it to her advantage. If not than I am completely off the mark and I apologise.

Beruthiel

Mr-ATM wrote: »

I really like this girl but I don't want to come across as a scrooge but I don't want this to because the usual state of affairs wither... Tbh I don't mind picking up the bill the most of the time but it would be nice if she did too every now and again.

She should have been sharing the costs of a night out with you from day one.
No self respecting woman, in this day and age, would allow a man to pay for everything anymore. Those days are well and truly over.

If she's got two arms and legs and can work, where does she get off thinking that it's up to you to pay for everything?
Only prostitutes get paid up front.

Stu

OP, if you really want to find out if your girlfriend is using you, try this .......

The next time you go out, order a meal and drinks and then half way through the meal tell your girllfriend that you've lost your Bank Card as you definately had it on the way and could she pay for the night out and you'll get her back the next time yous go out.

Her reaction will tell you everything you need to know. Very simple but very effective.

Boskowski

I know about all this chivalry stuff (I wouldn't be immune to it myself) and how you don't feel comfortable raising this openly (I really feel where you coming from with that) but I think you will have to do just that.

Don't do any of this suggestive disguised stuff. I know it well tell you something, but the way I look at it is the following:

You're dating. Which is effectively looking for a partner and to find the right partner is basically a process of elimination. This is going to be an issue with a potential partner but equally so is the ability to speak openly about a potential conflict issue and how both 'parties' handle themselves over such a subject. At this stage you guys shouldn't have such a situation but the fact it came to it is mostly her fault (not entirely mind you). If she is going to eliminate herself over one or the other you might as well get it out of the way rather sooner than later.

To be frank the fact she is happy to let it come this far without even raising so much as an eyebrow would make me as wary as it makes you.

Elbi

I thinks its nice that a guy pay on the first date or two. Im not into the whole 50/50 thing but if a guy paid on the first date or two, lets say dinner one night and cinema the next then I would most definitely ask him to dinner and pay and another time id invite him over for maybe wine and a take away and pay,

as i said I hate the whole splitting bills down the middle but I defintiely think there should be give an take as it is unfair you have to pay the whole time.

if myself and my boyfriend go for dinner he will pay once and Il pay next time.

I dont know how you will bring up the subject - maybe say you would love to do such a thing or go such a place but are broke and see does she offer to take you

Wonkagirl

I'm surprised that girls like this still exist in 2010!

here's how i see it.

YES, i expect the guy to pay for the first dinner date. For definite. I would be turned off if it was any different. Maybe the 2nd dinner too., but by god i'd be buying a lot of the post dinner booze... after that, she should definitely be offering! Most of my relationships it's 60:40 me:him paying. Normally not split down the middle, I'd just pick up a meal / cinema ticket here and there. At the very least she should be getting every second round after you shout her dinner!

sounds like she's on a meal ticket:mad:

LighterGuy

Wonkagirl said it best.

Your average girl expects a guy to pay for the first date. Maybe the second. But by the third she contributes.

As a guy. I have no issue with paying for the first 2 dates. ...but!.... if a girl just expects the guy to pay all the time she is only using him. She isnt into him alot. Thats a fact. Even girls who genuinely dont have alot of money will tell the guy to not spend much.

I dont know if other users would agree with me:

But i've been in two relationships in my life where both girls expected me to pay for everything. Both ended bad. I later learned they werent that into me. So i think its an immediate deal breaker if a girl doesnt put her hands in her pocket. Its a subliminal thing a person should pick up upon that they are not really that into you.

LegacyUser

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all your posts. I decided to broach the subject with my OH in an honest and straight forward manner. I won't get into the specifics of it but it basically went like this. She wanted to met up for a meal. I mentioned that cash was tight for me right now (this is kind of true as my car is done up) and we would have to go halfsies until I get it sorted... at the end of the conversation she backed out of meeting up at all.... I decided to (as best and tactfully as possible) tell her how I felt (this was later on that evening) and I got a response of "is that what you think of me?"...... to which of course I avidly said no, not at all...... she hung up then!


have not heard from her since.... so not sure what this means

dudara

I think answers any questions you may have about the relationship.

Oh, and hanging up on someone is incredibly rude and disrespectful.

Ickle Magoo

So because you wouldn't be stumping up 100% of the cost of the evening, she backed out and then got huffy at the idea she might be giving the impression she's rather financially motivated? I think you're well out of it OP.

LegacyUser

Oh my god, what an ungrateful drama queen, you're well rid, what kind of woman expects a man to pay for everything?! first date ok, second date maybe, but after that its just taking the p**s, To be honest if i let a man i was seeing pay for everything when we went out, i'd feel like a cheap prostitute!

lol at her hanging up, she sounds very mature, gold digging princess, what a catch!

have not heard from her since.... so not sure what this means

oh come on op have a bit of self respect here, do not have anything else to do with this woman!!! You're essentially "paying" for the pleasure of her company!! shes no better than an escort tbh! Delete her number move on, and count your blessings!

seenitall

OP, for your own good you should forget about this user ASAP.

Turning the situation around on you so that you have to "avidly" reassure her of anything is a typical passive-aggressive tactic of a user. Unfortunately I have lived it too. Guilt-tripping you and making you feel bad for calling out HER nastiness.

This girl is very, very bad news.

You should be having this face instead of this one right now. You are SO well rid.

Susie_Q

OP, sounds like she started sulking the minute she thought she might have to dip into her wallet. Honestly, is this the type of woman you want to share you life with? You'll be very broke, very quickly if so!

My OH and I split things evenly though not to the extent of getting out the calculator. If I'm having a flush week I'll spend more on the shopping or drinks etc, and vice versa. I asked my OH to split the cost of my contraceptive pill and he said yes immediately; it wasn't even a question.

I think you need to consider what your future would be like if you were to continue dating this woman. Are you willing to be broke just to keep her happy?

Wonkagirl

LighterGuy wrote: »

As a guy. I have no issue with paying for the first 2 dates. ...but!.... if a girl just expects the guy to pay all the time she is only using him. She isnt into him alot. Thats a fact. Even girls who genuinely dont have alot of money will tell the guy to not spend much.

I dont know if other users would agree with me:

Yeah i would tend to agree with that. If i like the guy, i'll be really insisting on a) paying for the 3rd meal we have together and b) getting every 2nd round from the very start.

Wonkagirl

Mr.ATM wrote: »

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all your posts. I decided to broach the subject with my OH in an honest and straight forward manner. I won't get into the specifics of it but it basically went like this. She wanted to met up for a meal. I mentioned that cash was tight for me right now (this is kind of true as my car is done up) and we would have to go halfsies until I get it sorted... at the end of the conversation she backed out of meeting up at all.... I decided to (as best and tactfully as possible) tell her how I felt (this was later on that evening) and I got a response of "is that what you think of me?"...... to which of course I avidly said no, not at all...... she hung up then!


have not heard from her since.... so not sure what this means

oh,sweet,jesus!

Well rid i say.

2 words ATM- 'LUCKY' and 'ESCAPE'.

Christ above, what an absolute treasure hunting shameless bitch! She gives us nice girls a bad name!!

Beruthiel

Mr.ATM wrote: »

so not sure what this means

It means that now her free ride is over, you probably won't be hearing from her again.
You're well rid.

astra2000

Mr.ATM wrote: »

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all your posts. I decided to broach the subject with my OH in an honest and straight forward manner. I won't get into the specifics of it but it basically went like this. She wanted to met up for a meal. I mentioned that cash was tight for me right now (this is kind of true as my car is done up) and we would have to go halfsies until I get it sorted... at the end of the conversation she backed out of meeting up at all.... I decided to (as best and tactfully as possible) tell her how I felt (this was later on that evening) and I got a response of "is that what you think of me?"...... to which of course I avidly said no, not at all...... she hung up then!


have not heard from her since.... so not sure what this means

Good for you for telling her straight out. Do not let her manipulate you with the "is that what you think of me?" nonsense.Pleas do not contact her if you do you will be sending out the signal that you are willing to accept her taking advantage of you. You made it sound like she was the one who suggested going for a meal, if that is the case she is to put it mildly, some piece of work. She suggests a night out fully presuming you will once again pay. I think you may be better off calling it a day.

Esoteric_

OP, you were right to broach the subject with her. On my first date with my current boyfriend, he tried to pay for everything and I wouldn't let him. I would go to the bar when he was in the bathroom just so I could buy him a drink so I wouldn't feel cheap LOL. Second date, same thing. I don't mind if a guy pays for the first or second dates, but I'd honestly feel like a bit of a prostitute if he paid for more than those.

You had a lucky escape IMO.

pwd

You might have tried the more tactful way suggested in the first reply. Presumably if you paid her way for several months, then you did actually quite like her.

She was taking advantage yes. She might not have been using you though. It is possible that she would have responded by wanting to pay for everything herself for a bit, if you told her you had no money (without saying you'd have to go halves).

The way you did it makes no sense really. If you are going to call someone a leech and golddigger, you should just call them a leech and a golddigger. You communicated that's exactly what you thought, and then *you wanted to still go out anyway*. Just made yourself look like a total spa to her.

Seriously, if you had flat-out insulted her and told her to get stuffed, she'd have more respect for you, and you'd have a better chance of sorting stuff out.

Wonkagirl

Sorry PWD, completely disagree.

I think he handled it in the best possible manner. Her reaction, to me, just proves that she's a golddigging leech. If her intentions were honourable, she would have said ''Oh dont worry, I'll get this one'' F*ck me, it's the LEAST the golddigging bitch coudl do, she's been scabbing off him for months!

Dont follow your line of thinking at ALL.. if i was the girl in question (not a chance of that, i have some shame:)), i woudl prefer to hear it his way rather than your way.. there is NO coming back from ''hey golddigging leech, cant take you out tonite!''- that's just rude.

ATM, you handled it perfectly IMO, and you are WELL RID! Better to have found out NOW rather than when she's running to the hills in 10 yrs time with half of everything you own in the divorce settlement:D

pwd

Wonkagirl wrote: »

Sorry PWD, completely disagree.

I think he handled it in the best possible manner. Her reaction, to me, just proves that she's a golddigging leech. If her intentions were honourable, she would have said ''Oh dont worry, I'll get this one'' F*ck me, it's the LEAST the golddigging bitch coudl do, she's been scabbing off him for months!

Dont follow your line of thinking at ALL.. if i was the girl in question (not a chance of that, i have some shame:)), i woudl prefer to hear it his way rather than your way.. there is NO coming back from ''hey golddigging leech, cant take you out tonite!''- that's just rude.

ATM, you handled it perfectly IMO, and you are WELL RID! Better to have found out NOW rather than when she's running to the hills in 10 yrs time with half of everything you own in the divorce settlement:D

I was suggesting he followed the tactful approach in the first reply, which was to just say he had no money to go out, without suggesting that the girl paid half. If she was worth talking to, she would then have offered to pay herself.

My point regarding calling her a leech, was that by talking to her the way he did, he was very clearly communicating that this is what he thought in any case. He also was indicating that he still wanted to go out with her, dispite seeing her like that, which, at best makes him seem a bit out of touch with reality and desperate.

If he was going to be that offensive, he should have at least been direct about it. Saying what he said make him seem both desperate and arrogant, as well as highly rude. She is not to know he is just listening to some very bad advice from random people on a messageboad.

Wonkagirl

yes i hear you PWD, i would have also left out the suggestion about paying half, that's the only thing i would have done differently.. however, i still think this girl is an absolute leech and he's well rid.

If she had any shame whatsover, it wouldnt have gotten to this stage in the FIRST place. That's the point. No guy should ever have to be in this situation. We're talking months without her putting her hand in her pocket? I'm still aghast to be honest. It's completely unacceptable in this day and age. He has basically been supplementing her upcoming trip away with her pals, it's shocking carry on really.

LegacyUser

I was suggesting he followed the tactful approach in the first reply, which was to just say he had no money to go out, without suggesting that the girl paid half. If she was worth talking to, she would then have offered to pay herself.

Don't agree with this at all, he was more than tactful, she suggested going out, he said sure but money tight at the moment do you mind if we go halves? this is perfectly reasonable no self respecting woman would find this offensive. If he hadn't suggesting paying half, it would've sounded worse like he expected her to pay for the whole thing, he was being more than generous.

then she suddenly decides she doen't want to go out at all, if she really gave a crap about him she still would've went for a meal.The money disappears and so does she, no surprise there then

Wonkagirl

disagree wrote: »

The money disappears and so does she, no surprise there then

CORRECT! Girls like this give the rest of us a bad name.

As I said ATM, just as well you found out now, rather than when the solicitors came in to divide up your assets.

pwd

disagree wrote: »

Don't agree with this at all, he was more than tactful, she suggested going out, he said sure but money tight at the moment do you mind if we go halves? this is perfectly reasonable no self respecting woman would find this offensive. If he hadn't suggesting paying half, it would've sounded worse like he expected her to pay for the whole thing, he was being more than generous.

then she suddenly decides she doen't want to go out at all, if she really gave a crap about him she still would've went for a meal.The money disappears and so does she, no surprise there then

By asking if she would go halves, suggests that she wouldn't otherwise - that she has to be asked just to pay her share. That's why it's offensive.

It would have been better, not worse, if he'd asked her to pay for the whole thing. That shouldn't have caused offence, because there's no implication of stinginess.

Elbi

pwd wrote: »

By asking if she would go halves, suggests that she wouldn't otherwise - that she has to be asked just to pay her share. That's why it's offensive.

It would have been better, not worse, if he'd asked her to pay for the whole thing. That shouldn't have caused offence, because there's no implication of stinginess.

Well any decent person would offer to pay for the whole thing, He has been taking her out all along and paying for both of them so its only fair.
When she suggested going for a meal and he said he was broke she should have said "dont worry about it I'l get this one" she didnt mention that so he had to say something.

Wonkagirl

PWD, do you not think he's better off without her though, fundamentally? i mean the girl has been living off him for months now? come on, what a treasure hunting leech!