"I know I would..."

After reading a few funny ones, I wonder what other phrases people use to say "I'd give her/him one"

"I'd give her a shot at the title"

"I'd give her the good news"

"She would get to see the hammer of passion"

Any more? And not just ones about women..

Peyton Manning

"I'd thank her post, and quote it again in the morning"

Doc

I would willingly engage in sexual intercourse with that lady.

[-0-]

Oh she'd get it.

Izzy711

I'm more direct I guess. I don't like trying to guess what people are trying to say.

I would just say, "I'd fuuck him." or "He's doable."

When I am going out with my gfs and they ask me if their outfit looks nice I tell them, "If I was a guy, I'd do you."

AskMyChocolate

"Can I get that for ye?" Usually relating to heavy bags. Jesus I'm old.

*starts motor and closes garage doors*

amacachi

Looks like I'm going to have to floss later.

Izzy711

amacachi wrote: »

Looks like I'm going to have to floss later.

Hahahah! I literally spit out my tea! That is awesome!

scientific1982

Id give her a poke if the telly was broke.

I wouldnt throw her out of bed for eating crisps.

I would insert my penis into her vaginal cavity.

Shanotheslayer

I'd lob it into her.

Ramza

The first man to pull me out would be crowned King of England

Quite long and not as straightforward

You call your c*ck Excalebur?

The Orb

I would gaschmoigedy her gaflavity with my googus...and not be sorry

mahamageehad

I'd tear into him like a dog with rabies

RMD

You could put a piece of coal up her hole and get a diamond in 2 weeks it's that tight.

ButtersSuki

I've never asked him is this a literal expression.......one a "friend" of mine saves for describing only the hottest of the hot:

"I'd eat her sh*te"

Morlar

I'd fcuk her in half.

CiaranMT

I'd wreck her.

I'd destroy her.

I'd ruin her.

Etc. Charming, non?

Pretty_Pistol

I'd tackle him.

I'd jump his bone.

I'd let him bury his bone in me.

I'd ride him like Black Beauty.

All the ladylike ones...

R0ot

"Would you throw a batch into her?" :pac:

Jonty

Reserved only for the finest of fillies:

I'd use her sh1te for toothpaste and gargle with her pish!!

Btwndeyes

My friend turned around the other day and says "Shes definately got a vagina."

She'd get a belt of it..

Tallon

"YEAH I WOULD"

Out the car window, of course

Joey the lips

I am not too exciting i am usually just direct but i heard a couple of what i thought were funny ones...


"Have you got 30 seconds....."a fellas reference to a quick shag with the other half

"I bet tyson would not last 3 rounds with her"

AskMyChocolate

I'd have to apologise to her twice and hope she didn't tell her mother.

Izzy711

Joey the lips wrote: »

I am not too exciting i am usually just direct but i heard a couple of what i thought were funny ones...


"Have you got 30 seconds....."a fellas reference to a quick shag with the other half

"I bet tyson would not last 3 rounds with her"[/QUOTE]

That's because she would probably bite something other than his ear!

big_show

I'd ride her 'til the baby pushed me out..

neil_hosey

"Id go at her like a bull at a gate.."


"best 10 seconds of her life.."

blackbird98

a friend's quotes....not mine!!!

I'd stick a snot in her
I'd leave a load in her as big as a cowsh*te
I'd have to wa*k twice first, to make sure i didn't cum too soon


very crude, but he can be funny

kfallon

I'd ate chips out of her knickers

Trekker09

"Do you like sex on the 1st date"

"No"

"Well just lie down while I do"

mr kr0nik

I'd suck the farts out of her arse

Thank you.

Brussels Sprout

Overheard an older gentleman say:

I'd crawl through a mile of broken glass just to throw stones at her sh*t.

orourkeda

I'd piledrive her arse into to the bed.

I'd spurt onto her breats and rub the juice in with my bare arsecheeks.

NothingMan

Out of 2, I'd give her one.

Honestly guys, I was going for more "i'd put sauce on her veg" than "Oy'd royde hur".

Still funny though

"i'd give her a broken pelvis.

With my pelvis."

Mint Sauce

'i'd tap that'

Sykk

I'd tear her a new arsehole

Gallant_JJ

I'd give her the butt of a dunt

pablomakaveli

I'd batter her burger.

I'd stuff her turkey.

I'd put my sausauge in her bun.

Deus Ex Machina

If I never heard another one of these again I would be quite content.

Mint Sauce

yeah i would

Zebra3

"I'd like to put my tool in her box"

orourkeda

I'd pull the fanny out of her.

bazmaiden

Would smash with the fury of Zeus

kryogen

I cant wait to see your fanny

Im gonna smash the granny out of you

Id eat through a mile of her **** to get a lick of her ring

Would you like some 100% red hot irish beef inside you?

Got any irish in you? no? do you want some?

Ill ruin you like a japaneese banquet

flyton5

- I wouldn't ride her if she had pedals.


- I wouldn't get up on her to get over a wall.

orourkeda

i'd thrust my penis and stones into her vagina at maximum speed

stovelid

The worst I've heard:

I''d give her a stocking of porridge

I'd suck her shite white.

Dudess

It's overused now but the first time I read "I'd leave her face looking like a painter's radio" I nearly ruptured my stomach laughing. :pac: