Why do a lot of men expect women to run away them?

RainbowRose81

I have noticed that many (not all) Irish men or just men in general expect women to make the first move. Its very sad the way how things seem to be going. Why are they not man enought to make the first move and go after the woman. Why do they expect women to go after them? Well im abit traditional im not a new age, bra burning feminist although i want equal rights for women in every sector of society but I am a woman and I like to be a woman and be elegant.

I just don't understand why is it when some men that sees women they likes they don't have it in them to chat the women up, that is poor. There must be many missed oppertunies because of this.

Another thing is I was member of a few of these online dating sites a few years ago I got talking to some Irish men but the ones that were very nice and i liked stopped contacting me when I told them about myself; that im a mature student, im 28! single, no kids, living away from my hometown Maybe its because they only want women that is wealthly or doing the life thing. Maybe he thought im unconventional being a mature student but i was only 28!!! not 45 even thought it might of made him feel insecure. What was that all about. It seemed like much of the men want very sucessful women, that have made it in life or are making it.

Another thing have really noticed and is that there is very very few men if any under 40 years that do have the same respect and decency they have for their own sister and mother as they do for women in general. Well much of the older generation has respect for women. I find alot of men here these days are feminised and not in a good way; thinking and worrying about nonsense like what people think of them and their hair and clothes. Its the negative traits like jalousy, envy and some of them have this attitude that is clannish, pretenious and indifferent.

Why do much of them expect women to do all the work, they don't even meet them half way. It seems like thay are just want wonderwoman oh they probably wouldnt want wonderwomen because she was very feminine and elegant even when she jumped and flew I think alot of men just want a big tough nut like those boucers in clubs; a man in the body of a woman who will do everything. Alot of the men here are very different from my own father's generation.

Well thats how I see it and that the way how it is for me in relation to some men. Does else think this or norice it? especially if your a woman I would appreicate if you would share your thoughts, feelings and opinions if you notice this.

I would like to hear good replies not hatefulness.

Pepe LeFrits

You should team up with the Dating Coach thread crowd!

Feeona

Be careful OP, you're not in Kansas anymore!

magma69

<snip>

Irishchick

I think alot of men just dont have the confidence to make the first move. They're probably afraid to get turned down in front of friends.

Mr_Roger_Bongos

Your title makes my head hurt.

Minstrel27

What exactly is wrong with the woman making the first move? Who cares which gender makes the move? Stupid society.

KungPao

RainbowRose81 wrote: »

I have noticed that many (not all) Irish men or just men in general expect women to make the first move. Its very sad the way how things seem to be going. Why are they not man enought to make the first move and go after the woman. Why do they expect women to go after them? Well im abit traditional im not a new age, bra burning feminist although i want equal rights for women in every sector of society but I am a woman and I like to be a woman and be elegant.

I just don't understand why is it when some men that sees women they likes they don't have it in them to chat the women up, that is poor. There must be many missed oppertunies because of this.

Another thing is I was member of a few of these online dating sites a few years ago I got talking to some Irish men but the ones that were very nice and i liked stopped contacting me when I told them about myself; that im a mature student, im 28! single, no kids, living away from my hometown Maybe its because they only want women that is wealthly or doing the life thing. Maybe he thought im unconventional being a mature student but i was only 28!!! not 45 even thought it might of made him feel insecure. What was that all about. It seemed like much of the men want very sucessful women, that have made it in life or are making it.

Another thing have really noticed and is that there is very very few men if any under 40 years that do have the same respect and decency they have for their own sister and mother as they do for women in general. Well much of the older generation has respect for women. I find alot of men here these days are feminised and not in a good way; thinking and worrying about nonsense like what people think of them and their hair and clothes. Its the negative traits like jalousy, envy and some of them have this attitude that is clannish, pretenious and indifferent.

Why do much of them expect women to do all the work, they don't even meet them half way. It seems like thay are just want wonderwoman oh they probably wouldnt want wonderwomen because she was very feminine and elegant even when she jumped and flew I think alot of men just want a big tough nut like those boucers in clubs; a man in the body of a woman who will do everything. Alot of the men here are very different from my own father's generation.

Well thats how I see it and that the way how it is for me in relation to some men. Does else think this or norice it? especially if your a woman I would appreicate if you would share your thoughts, feelings and opinions if you notice this.

I would like to hear good replies not hatefulness.

Say that to a certain L. Murphy...

Deus Ex Machina

I keep giving up reading your post, even when I skip a few paragraphs and try to start again I give up within eight or nine words.

Dravokivich

RainbowRose81 wrote: »

Why are they not man enought to make the first move and go after the woman.

Because that my friend is known as rape.

bonerm

RainbowRose81 wrote: »

I have noticed that many (not all) Irish men or just men in general expect women to make the first move. Its very sad the way how things seem to be going. Why are they not man enought to make the first move and go after the woman. Why do they expect women to go after them? Well im abit traditional im not a new age, bra burning feminist although i want equal rights for women in every sector of society but I am a woman and I like to be a woman and be elegant.

I just don't understand why is it when some men that sees women they likes they don't have it in them to chat the women up, that is poor. There must be many missed oppertunies because of this.

Another thing is I was member of a few of these online dating sites a few years ago I got talking to some Irish men but the ones that were very nice and i liked stopped contacting me when I told them about myself; that im a mature student, im 28! single, no kids, living away from my hometown Maybe its because they only want women that is wealthly or doing the life thing. Maybe he thought im unconventional being a mature student but i was only 28!!! not 45 even thought it might of made him feel insecure. What was that all about. It seemed like much of the men want very sucessful women, that have made it in life or are making it.

Another thing have really noticed and is that there is very very few men if any under 40 years that do have the same respect and decency they have for their own sister and mother as they do for women in general. Well much of the older generation has respect for women. I find alot of men here these days are feminised and not in a good way; thinking and worrying about nonsense like what people think of them and their hair and clothes. Its the negative traits like jalousy, envy and some of them have this attitude that is clannish, pretenious and indifferent.

Why do much of them expect women to do all the work, they don't even meet them half way. It seems like thay are just want wonderwoman oh they probably wouldnt want wonderwomen because she was very feminine and elegant even when she jumped and flew I think alot of men just want a big tough nut like those boucers in clubs; a man in the body of a woman who will do everything. Alot of the men here are very different from my own father's generation.

Well thats how I see it and that the way how it is for me in relation to some men. Does else think this or norice it? especially if your a woman I would appreicate if you would share your thoughts, feelings and opinions if you notice this.

I would like to hear good replies not hatefulness.

In the opinion of this amateur psychologist you are in love with your father and have unresolved eating issues. Because of the general vibe of desperation you give off in your writing on a scale of 'hot or not' I would rate you 'not' and that may be the cause of many of your attitudes above.

FYI if Irish men sat around waiting for women to do all the work the population of this country would be about 3 lost fishermen + 2million sheep. If Irish men are backwards about coming forwards then Irish women are probably doubly so. I think you're taking your own personal experiences and projecting it onto the entire country.

topper75

RainbowRose81 wrote: »

I find alot of men here these days are feminised and not in a good way; thinking and worrying about nonsense like what people think of them and their hair and clothes.

Are you up in that feckin' Dublin place?

Kasabian

Is it run away with them or from them ?

As it's the title of the thread I need to know whether to bother reading the long OP.

RockinRolla

There are some great down to Earth women out there but the majority I have met on a night out are downright b!tches. They are constantly on the look-out for an opportunity to put others down to inflate their own ego's. Most of the women on a night out that I have come into contact with have took hours to prepare to go out with the sole intention of doing nothing but having one drink and cock-teasing all night.

I think women in general have got this holier than thou, self-righteous attitude because men throughout history have always jumped at them and now they know their power. That's why most men now couldn't give a damn and let the woman make the first move.

You've ruined it for yourselves!
For shame and may God have mercy on your souls.

Sanjuro

RainbowRose81 wrote: »

Why do much of them expect women to do all the work, they don't even meet them half way. It seems like thay are just want wonderwoman oh they probably wouldnt want wonderwomen because she was very feminine and elegant even when she jumped and flew I think alot of men just want a big tough nut like those boucers in clubs; a man in the body of a woman who will do everything. Alot of the men here are very different from my own father's generation.

Only if she ties me up with her golden lariat. Kinky.

scientific1982

A lot of women dont realise how daunting it can be to go up to a group of girls and start chatting them up. You're putting your ego on the line every time.

FreudianSlippers

because they don't know that "alot" is actually spelled "a lot"

i find plying them with drinks and then speaking ....very ....slowly....and ....in words ....of ...no ...more ...than ...four...syllables helps enormously plus saying oy potato head you have pulled whilst simultaneously announcing you yourself are drunk.:D

Shryke

Girls can be fairly nasty or rude on a night out. Just straight out ignore a guy or things like that. It's down to pressure from friends and that kind of thing really. People aren't as comfortable as they appear. It's much easier to get on and have a chat with a smaller group but in a large group or on their own women are difficult to approach. Alcohol might loosen people up but it also makes them act like dickheads. I'm not just talking about women now.

King Felix

And another thing about women...since, in general, they get to chose who they mate and reproduce with, the whole course of human evolution is determined by their sexual decisions.

So any deficencies in the behaviour of men can be placed squarely at the feet of women. Don't be blaming us.

WindSock

King Felix wrote: »

And another thing about women...since, in general, they get to chose who they mate and reproduce with,

Only too recently though.

RockinRolla

I don't know what it is with me...perhaps it's a personal thing but I'll be honest here, I'm 24 and I find foreign women so much easier to approach. They have such a welcoming attitude and even if you're only there for a chat, they'll entertain you in conversation even if neither of you are attracted to each other.

On the other hand, Irish girls are direct and quick to shoot you down straight away if they're not interested sexually. Perhaps that's why Irish men are leaning more towards foreign women these days. Irish women just think every man is there for one reason, so much so that if you are genuinely inquiring about a lighter for your cigarette, you may get this certain look....come on girls, relax yourselves...we're not interested.

fonecrusher1

RainbowRose81 wrote: »

I have noticed that many (not all) Irish men or just men in general expect women to make the first move. Its very sad the way how things seem to be going. Why are they not man enought to make the first move and go after the woman.

First off, you seem a bit too eager. Maybe thats why your not having success finding a partner?

Secondly its a 50/50 thing these days. You want a man to approach you in a bar? make a bit off effort, give some sort of signal/ gesture to show your interested & let us do the rest.;)

Thirdly & most importantly. Are you good looking?:)

Adam

for me it helps when the women in question can speak english, but call me picky...

bonerm

Shryke wrote: »

Girls can be fairly nasty or rude on a night out. Just straight out ignore a guy or things like that. It's down to pressure from friends and that kind of thing really. People aren't as comfortable as they appear. It's much easier to get on and have a chat with a smaller group but in a large group or on their own women are difficult to approach. Alcohol might loosen people up but it also makes them act like dickheads. I'm not just talking about women now.

Oh man, I just can't figure women out. Sometimes they're just too smart. Sometimes they're flat-out stupid. Other times they're just ... evil.

King Felix

WindSock wrote: »

Only too recently though.

You mean my statement might be lacking in scientific accuracy??

Deus Ex Machina

In many instances this is the same situation as the stupid old man who controls the gate into a car park. His life is utterly devoid of power and any sense of control, so when he is given this slight sense of power it drives him mad, and he feels the need to assert himself, aware that as soon as this situation passes he will be back to his powerless, pitiable existence.

A girl, social mores being what they are, sees that it is the man's job to make the first move, thus offering her a glipse at power. It is an alien feeling, and she enjoys it, as most who experience power do. Mix into this cocktail a splash of friends, whom she wishes to impress. If you get with an individual, you are defining, in some respect your place in the pecking order of the sexual world, so you are better to leave it undefined, and keep your reputation among your friends.

pickarooney

Kasabian wrote: »

Is it run away with them or from them ?

As it's the title of the thread I need to know whether to bother reading the long OP.

I think the OP has a problem with a lack of prepositions from interested men.

foxyboxer

Because the fear of rejection is always prevalent.
I think women fail to realise the devastating impact it can have.

Men require a sufficient level of interest in order to make any kind of move.

Copper23

No, I wouldn't agree one bit actually...

Great, so "not to generalise" or anything but all men are aweful... right....?

Ok, so you assume all these guys want to chat you up and "they just aren't man enough for you"... maybe a change of attitude right there would make you more approachable.

"Telling them about yourself"... nobody wants a life story... try cracking a joke. Guys are visual, that's not Irish, thats science, stop complaining.

Keep telling yourself a grown man with a job and income is "intimidated" by you as an almighty Mature Student... that'll work.

I think it's an attitude problem. If men are the enemy, you give off that vibe which in itself makes you unapproachable in an attempt to look like a strong woman shows more insecurity than the guys you are complaining about.

I'm sure you'll disagree... I'm an probably just an insecure Irish guy.

thebigbiffo

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Are you good looking?:)

complaining about not getting chatted up - ever.

and i only read the first paragraph but i'm drawing a conclusion

WindSock

King Felix wrote: »

You mean my statement might be lacking in scientific accuracy??

It's is more to do with society than science.

King Felix

WindSock wrote: »

It's not to do with science as much as society.

Since I just invented my post as a semi-troll, you'll have to enlighten me what we're talking about.

thebigbiffo

WindSock wrote: »

It's is more to do with society than science.

biology's a science...:D

Jaxxy

Seriously, with attitudes like this it's no wonder there are so many "Irish women are evil/Irish women are bitches on nights out/Foreign women > Irish women" threads in AH.

Personally I think everyone needs to get over themselves. Just because a man doesn't display an interest in you doesn't mean he's intimidated, it probably means he's just not interested. But if nitpicking his appearance, personal grooming habits or annual income makes you feel better then more power to you.

fonecrusher1

thebigbiffo wrote: »

complaining about not getting chatted up - ever.

and i only read the first paragraph but i'm drawing a conclusion

Yeah me too but it could be the opposite? Maybe shes a stunner?

Sometimes men see a beautiful women & think definitely not single & move on. Or based on her good looks might feel out of her league or something & predict a painful rejection.

RockinRolla

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Seriously, with attitudes like this it's no wonder there are so many "Irish women are evil/Irish women are bitches on nights out/Foreign women > Irish women" threads in AH.

Personally I think everyone needs to get over themselves. Just because a man doesn't display an interest in you doesn't mean he's intimidated, it probably means he's just not interested. But if nitpicking his appearance, personal grooming habits or annual income makes you feel better then more power to you.

Pfft - there's no females on the interwebz. :rolleyes:

WindSock

King Felix wrote: »

Since I just invented my post as a semi-troll, you'll have to enlighten me what we're talking about.

thebigbiffo wrote: »

biology's a science...:D

Boundries created for circumstances which a woman and a man may reproduce are invented by society.

Wompa1

You know what's funny is that theres a thread in personal issues about whethers it easier for women to pick up guys rather than guys pick up women...somebody responded its harder for women because when they suggest things to do the guys lose interest...now theres the flip side. What do women want!?

Ash.J.Williams

RainbowRose81 wrote: »

I have noticed that many (not all) Irish men or just men in general expect women to make the first move. Its very sad the way how things seem to be going. Why are they not man enought to make the first move and go after the woman. Why do they expect women to go after them? Well im abit traditional im not a new age, bra burning feminist although i want equal rights for women in every sector of society but I am a woman and I like to be a woman and be elegant.

I just don't understand why is it when some men that sees women they likes they don't have it in them to chat the women up, that is poor. There must be many missed oppertunies because of this.

Another thing is I was member of a few of these online dating sites a few years ago I got talking to some Irish men but the ones that were very nice and i liked stopped contacting me when I told them about myself; that im a mature student, im 28! single, no kids, living away from my hometown Maybe its because they only want women that is wealthly or doing the life thing. Maybe he thought im unconventional being a mature student but i was only 28!!! not 45 even thought it might of made him feel insecure. What was that all about. It seemed like much of the men want very sucessful women, that have made it in life or are making it.

Another thing have really noticed and is that there is very very few men if any under 40 years that do have the same respect and decency they have for their own sister and mother as they do for women in general. Well much of the older generation has respect for women. I find alot of men here these days are feminised and not in a good way; thinking and worrying about nonsense like what people think of them and their hair and clothes. Its the negative traits like jalousy, envy and some of them have this attitude that is clannish, pretenious and indifferent.

Why do much of them expect women to do all the work, they don't even meet them half way. It seems like thay are just want wonderwoman oh they probably wouldnt want wonderwomen because she was very feminine and elegant even when she jumped and flew I think alot of men just want a big tough nut like those boucers in clubs; a man in the body of a woman who will do everything. Alot of the men here are very different from my own father's generation.

Well thats how I see it and that the way how it is for me in relation to some men. Does else think this or norice it? especially if your a woman I would appreicate if you would share your thoughts, feelings and opinions if you notice this.

I would like to hear good replies not hatefulness.

I've had 3-4 major relationships and (it's funny looking back) ALL of them initially gave me the impression they hated me...i mean they were downright ignorant!! of course it's laughed at after we got together, but it's worth mentioning.....if you like someone be friendly and the bloke should do something then!

Jaxxy

RockinRolla wrote: »

Pfft - there's no females on the interwebz. :rolleyes:

There are, we just hide behind a firewall of barely concealed contempt, judgment and desperation, all aimed toward the common Irish man.

gbee

RainbowRose81 wrote: »

feminist although i want equal rights for women in every sector of society but I am a woman and I like to be a woman and be elegant.

Can't have it both ways, the nice old days are over, [pity I might add but ...] women have equality are to be treated equally by law.

I think a lot of good Irish men today are simply afraid of sexual harassment.

thebigbiffo

WindSock wrote: »

Boundries created for circumstances which a woman and a man may reproduce are invented by society.

but base human attraction is still rampant the last nightclub i was in...

RockinRolla

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

There are, we just hide behind a firewall of barely concealed contempt, judgment and desperation, all aimed toward the common Irish man.

Well, as I've said, I genuinely find foreign girls far easier to approach than Irish girls. Why do you think this is? Is it a personality problem with Irish women? Lots of Irish women are stunners, it's just that they are more hostile to men...so to speak.

thebigbiffo

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Yeah me too but it could be the opposite? Maybe shes a stunner?

Sometimes men see a beautiful women & think definitely not single & move on. Or based on her good looks might feel out of her league or something & predict a painful rejection.

a stunner who NEVER gets chatted up...c'mon. there's always some guy who'll chance his arm - always...no, seriously, always. and this chick does not sound like someone who's men even looking twice at her

Wompa1

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

I've had 3-4 major relationships and (it's funny looking back) ALL of them initially gave me the impression they hated me...i mean they were downright ignorant!! of course it's laughed at after we got together, but it's worth mentioning.....if you like someone be friendly and the bloke should do something then!

Ughhhh why did you get with guys that were completely ignorant to you? Women!! Pfff...

thebigbiffo

RockinRolla wrote: »

Well, as I've said, I genuinely find foreign girls far easier to approach than Irish girls. Why do you think this is? Is it a personality problem with Irish women? Lots of Irish women are stunners, it's just that they are more hostile to men...so to speak.

this is the oft repeated problem with irish women - and yes, i'm just to say it again.

WOMEN OF IRELAND - STOP LOOKING AT EVERY GUY WHO CHATS YOU UP LIKE HE'S JUST TRIED TO S'HIT IN YOUR DINNER

Cullen82

OP,

Most (Yeah most) men do not approach women because of fear/lack of confidence-Is this not understandable? Yeah it's a shame but any honest guy will tell you it's not an easy thing to do.

Online dating you speak of? I liked the idea of it but found it a waste of time personally - All based on looks despite what people state in their "profiles" about looking for personality :rolleyes:

Jaxxy

RockinRolla wrote: »

Well, as I've said, I genuinely find foreign girls far easier to approach than Irish girls. Why do you think this is? Is it a personality problem with Irish women? Lots of Irish women are stunners, it's just that they are more hostile to men...so to speak.

Well first off I'd have to tell you what you're saying here is a generalisation, and that not all Irish women are hostile toward men. It's not a personality problem, it's a problem with how their responses to a come on are received.

When I go out with my friends I do it to have fun. I love a bit of banter and I'll talk to anyone. But there are times when you just don't feel like being chatted up or pursued. Sure, you can be polite and courteous about it but to some men a rejection is a rejection, no matter how it's phrased.

To lads giving out about hostile women I'd say stop running after or approaching the sour-faced wenches surrounded by their cronies who look like they're auditioning for a role in Eastenders and couldn't crack a smile if their lives depended on it, and to the ladies giving out about their scoring success rate (or lack thereof) I'd say stop placing so much importance in being lavished with attention and be more proactive with what you really want.

Pauleta

I cant chat to women without thinking im being sleazy or a creep. Another reason is that ive no job, feck all cash, no car and still live at home at 25, so despite being fairly decent looking, whats the point :pac:

fonecrusher1

thebigbiffo wrote: »

a stunner who NEVER gets chatted up...c'mon. there's always some guy who'll chance his arm - always...no, seriously, always. and this chick does not sound like someone who's men even looking twice at her

Agreed. Such a lack of success suggests this problem.