Is there a difference between the womans idea of "hot" and the mans idea

Sulkinskimpy

Recently myself and my OH would be driving downt he road and my head would turn with what I would consider an attractive girl.

I'm very much attracted to men but can comfortably say I appreciate a good looking woman.

Most of the girls who I must say I envy would be very slim, very slim altogether, maybe a size 6 or 8 and have gorgeous full hair

Now my OH has his head turned quite alot but by completely different type of girls. He thinks women are the ones who pressurise themselves to always look good as they're in competition with each other and not with mens attention as he says the general man prefers the natural unpolished look and the less make up by day the better?

While his opinion sounds more genuine and kinder to the majority of women I'm wondering is he only saying that so I don't feel pressure to "conform to what he likes"

Do ladies feel pressured to keep up a good appearance and a slim figure because they thin it's what men like or is it based on other girls around that they see

CK2010

well from experience guys will always say they prefer the girl next door, no make up, comfort over fashion type of girl and then they end up going off with a skanky hobag wearing little clothes, high heels, bad make up and cheap extensions! yes im a bit bitter but its true.

loads of guys say they prefer no make up etc. but they are always initially drawn to the made up girl. they may want to settle down with a nice natural looking girl but their head will generally turn towards the more made up girls, unless a girl is overly naturally pretty, in which case she doesnt need make up anyway. thats what i have found anyway! i think they appreciate a girl thats naturally pretty and doesnt wear make up and is comfortable in herself but their eye is more drawn to a different type. unless the natural girl is noticeably pretty. im trying tomake my point but cant find the words- basically most girls look better with a bit of make up, and ideally a guy wants a girl whowears no make up but finding a girl that looksbetter without make up is difficult, so those with make up on look better than those without it! :P:pac:

although, that bitterness aside i think guys do prefer curvy 'commercial' type girls, whereas girls would generally be more attracted, for want of a better word, to girls that are more editorial and fashionable, which alot of guys dont really like. i think girls want other girls to want to be like them so they wear the trends or be edgy and fashionable. whereas guys dont generally care about fashion etc. so that wouldnt necessarily draw them in. whereas another woman would look at her and think 'i could never pull that off, i wish i could' and this is why they'd find her attractive. maybe! :pac:

although i generally find alternative weird looking girls attractive, which kind of goes against what i said! my boyfriend thinks i have the weirdest taste in girls!

mood

I think everyone has different taste. Some guys will like a slim girl but others will like a curvier girl. Does it matter anyway???

rainbow kirby

A comparison for the OP:

tGC Easy On The Eye Thread (attractive women as chosen mostly by men)

Who Makes You Drool: Male Form Appreciation Thread (attractive men as chosen mostly by women)

Who Makes You Drool? (both sexes, as chosen by the posters of the LGBT forum)

There is a bit of a difference in the kind of women chosen - I think women do notice things in other women that are different from what men notice. It's really hard to explain though.

Going back to the OP's question though, I think you've forgotten that sometimes women just want to look good because it makes them feel more confident in themselves, not necessisarily because they are trying to impress men or other women in any particular way.

See you can't collectively say that there is one kind of person that men find hot and one kind of person that women find hot. Each and every single person is different and all have their own tastes. Like the saying goes, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"

krudler

Exactly, I honestly dont get the love for Megan Fox, to me she looks really trashy, but I think Katy Perry is drop dead gorgeous and some of my mates just cant see it, are they blind?! :pac:

Links234

krudler wrote: »

Exactly, I honestly dont get the love for Megan Fox, to me she looks really trashy, but I think Katy Perry is drop dead gorgeous and some of my mates just cant see it, are they blind?! :pac:

ugh, I HATE megan fox. I really, really don't see the attraction at all. (and it's not jealously before anyone says it!)

Monkey61

This answer is hard to give without making generalisations but....

The one thing that I have noticed over the years with regards to many men that I know (and I am referring to the more "mainstream" guys I know for want of a better term), is that they don't seem to make an differentiation between women who are really good looking and those who are conforming to an exact image - ie. fake tan, lots of make-up, poker straight hair etc. They actually seem less concerned with what someone's face looks like as long as they tick a number of other boxes. Also, they seem to often go for what I would consider "plain" looking women, as long as the make-up etc is pretty full-on. I am thinking of Katy Perry and Megan Fox in particular with this. Both of them I would consider quite ordinary looking (not at all saying that they are hideous, but I would consider a few girls that I know to be considerably better looking) but each seems to be held up at the moment as some kind of icon of perfection.

I think a lot of men are more likely to subscribe to whatever stereotypical image of "hot woman" exists in society at the time and go along with that. As an aside, I noticed this when I was on holiday in California a few years ago and had girls pointed out to me that would be considered universally "hot",a lot of these girls looked like they had been hit in the face with a shovel, but their bodies, make-up, hair and tans were perfectly done to the same look.

Also, pretty much every time a guy I know has pointed out someone who was "naturally pretty", girl-next-door etc and said he much preferred that look - the girl in question has been very made-up, very dressed up, hair done etc, just in a slightly less "glammed up for an FHM shoot" kind of way!

Interestingly I spent a lovely evening with my best friend going through the "easy on the eye" thread the other night...and we were really surprised by the results (loads of great choices that we totally agreed with)- which again goes to show not only does Boards surprise me sometimes,but also that Boards really isn't that representative of the people we meet on a daily basis!

Wibbs

IMHO I'd reckon there are two broad levels of hotness.

There is situational hotness. The day to day version, which is triggered by the usual suspects like reproductive fitness and triggered by the persons built in template influenced by upbringing and previous experience(and what they can actually hope to attract themselves).

Then there's societal hotness. Those men and women who may have the reproductive fitness thing going on to a high degree, but also match as much as possible the "ideal" for any given society. That ideal can vary over time, so this type of hotness is much more based on fashion than the first kind. There's little enough overlap too. Except in the cases of boy/girl next door types(hence IMHO they're liked more).

So a man may go Phwoooar at publically "Hot babe", but fall madly in love with a woman who is little like the hot babe. As the societal hotness standard gets ever more extreme and airbrushed, the gap between the two grows.

Diffs between the sexes? I dunno. I think women are just as much triggered by the visual as men, but are less obvious about it. If you look at the largely hetro women drool thread, there is a template at work, with few enough outliers, just like the hetro men drool thread. The LGBT drool thread has more of a scope going on which is interesting. The hetro threads in both sexes run more along the societal hotness range than the LGBT thread. EG Beth Ditto is in there and her inclusion on the straight male thread would be very unusual.

I think women's ideal of other women's attractiveness is more complex than men's. While both genders are competitive, women tend to compete more on a social/attractiveness level than men. That competition is more fluid too. Straight men are not as good at spotting other attractive men unless the other man is really obviously good looking. I think because competition in men is less based on that. Which says much about society to boot. A woman's appearance(and age) is much more commented upon, regardless of her other achievements. So they compare themselves more to the "standard" and that stuff runs deep, especially when young.

baby and crumble

I think there is a difference. I notice it being female and attracted to women... I can see when a woman is beautiful, but very often I won't be attracted to them, at all. It drives my (straight male) best friend mad. How can I not fancy Scarlett Johansen? Emm, because she looks like she has NOTHING going on upstairs, and that isn't terribly attractive- especially since apparently she is really smart, but she 'dumbs' herself down (in my eyes, anyway) to play up to the stereotypical blond hot woman that sells movies because men want her and women want to look like her.

In reverse, most of the women I'm attracted to would be a million miles away from the kind of women most men are attracted to...

Men and women are fed at a very young age, images of the people they are meant to be attracted to- tall dark and handsome, anyone? And I do think there is an element of competition at work- us women can so often judge ourselves on our looks, and what other people think of us. men judge themselves on their jobs and their physical prowess, by-and-large.

But girls, most men, (and other ladies, occassionally :cool:) aren't thinking "I bet she has cellulite, eurgh" when you're about to get naked in front of them. They're just thinking "naked- YES!"

candy-gal1

okay, Women celebs I find hot would be - Kate perry.
Dita von teese
taylor momsen
reese witherspoon


women celebs the bf finds hot - hayley williams
taylor momsen




Some differences AND similarities there.

baby and crumble

I don't get the Katy Perry love- nor indeed the Zooey Deschanel love (partly because I've yet to see them in a room together and I'm CONVINCED they are the same person. Seriously)

I also have no idea who taylor momsen is, although i just checked and she's 17 and that makes me feel OLD... :mad:

CK2010

zoegh wrote: »

I don't get the Katy Perry love- nor indeed the Zooey Deschanel love (partly because I've yet to see them in a room together and I'm CONVINCED they are the same person. Seriously)

I also have no idea who taylor momsen is, although i just checked and she's 17 and that makes me feel OLD... :mad:

i think its the wide eyed, fair skin, rosy lips thing! the snow white look! its very classic, that and the fact they're perfect!

rantyface

Almost all the girls the men picked on that thread were pale skinned with big eyes and a lot of them were cute with button noses as opposed to womanly and Angelina Jolie-esque.

Lia_lia

rainbow kirby wrote: »

A comparison for the OP:

tGC Easy On The Eye Thread (attractive women as chosen mostly by men)

Who Makes You Drool: Male Form Appreciation Thread (attractive men as chosen mostly by women)

Who Makes You Drool? (both sexes, as chosen by the posters of the LGBT forum)

There is a bit of a difference in the kind of women chosen - I think women do notice things in other women that are different from what men notice. It's really hard to explain though.

Going back to the OP's question though, I think you've forgotten that sometimes women just want to look good because it makes them feel more confident in themselves, not necessisarily because they are trying to impress men or other women in any particular way.

Don't forget the pwetty girl thread! That would be more my kinda thing.

I don't know really. Most of my friends get jealous of "hot" girls. Girl with big boobs, lots of make-up, generally fake looking. Whereas I'd stop on the street to look at a modelesque (is that even a word?) sorta girl. With weird features. I'm a straight girl, but tend to find girls better looking than fellas for some reason. Always have done!

Catari Jaguar

My taste in girls is the opposite to me and is what I would love to look like...

Petite but curvy, flat stomach, smallish boobs, high cheeks, button nose, full lips, perfect teeth. (Not picky at all!) My boyf always sees my head turn and is like "I KNEW you'd like her!"

I hate Angeline Jolie's face. Megan Fox is trashy. Jessica Alba is boring.

Katy Perry, Sophia Bush, Miley Cyrus, Rachel McAdam, April Bowlby, Kimberly Walsh are my girl crushes. They're all pretty similar looking...

A female friend of mine is the polar opposite - she loves Stephanie Seymour and all these masculine looking women. Heavy eyebrows, deep set eyes, hollow cheeks.

My boyfriend loves little Asian hotties with big boobs. I've never met a man that didn't...

starlit

Yes I do believe the case to be different ideas for both men and women are different.

seenitall

Thinking on it, overall, it would seem that my female-beauty taste is really very conventional. I'm not sure I like that!

My personal icon of beauty is Angelina (I already elaborated on this quite embarrassingly in a thread here recently ). Followed by Halle Berry (does she age at all?), Charlize Theron and CZJ.

Honourable mention (and once upon a time the indisputable perfection): Isabelle Adjani.

Of the younger brigade, only Leighton Meester ("Gossip Girl") and Una Healy (from Saturdays) do anything for me...

Katy Perry? Meh... I do see why she would be considered beautiful, though - she really is a past master at packaging herself. Quite literally!

Logical Fallacy

Sulkinskimpy wrote: »

While his opinion sounds more genuine and kinder to the majority of women I'm wondering is he only saying that so I don't feel pressure to "conform to what he likes"

The chances are good, as the two of you are in a relationship, that you are already what he likes.

The one thing i have experienced from past relationships is that girls can be very slow to believe a compliment, even that most basic complement of someone seeking a relationship with you. Don't get me wrong, they tend to rightly appreciate them and even feel good about them but i am not quite sure they are believing them fully.

Girls, if your man is with you, he finds you sexy, when he tells you that you're beautiful he really means it.

Do men and women have a different idea of beauty? Absolutely, but the simple truth is everyone has a very different idea of beauty.

liah

Hmm.

My taste would probably include women like Natalie Portman, Rachael McAdams, Monica Belluci, Amanda Seyfried, Mandy Moore, Odette Yustman, Emily Browning, Catherine Zeta Jones, Jenny Wade, Mila Kunis.

I tend to go for either feminine-acting or very feminine-looking type girls. But feminine in the sweet/delicate sense, not the catty/bitchy sense. I really don't find people like Angelina Jolie or Megan Fox massively, or rather, noticeably attractive.. Angelina may have big lips but they look awful! They're all cracked and horrible-looking. She does have beautiful bone structure and eyes, but she's also too skinny.. she creeps me out. Megan Fox looks like any average porn star, just with flashier eyes.

I notice men tend to just go for anything that isn't wearing a lot, and they love to claim they love natural girls but nine times out of ten they don't know the difference.

thirtythirty

Sulkinskimpy wrote: »

Now my OH has his head turned quite alot but by completely different type of girls. He thinks women are the ones who pressurise themselves to always look good as they're in competition with each other and not with mens attention as he says the general man prefers the natural unpolished look and the less make up by day the better?

If a girl or women looks good without trying, it means she INCREDIBLE.

Seriously, there was a girl back in college affectionately referred to as "ridiculously hot <her name>" by everyone. And no, everyone is not a generalisation. She wores jeans, a hoody, and her hair was like she'd just got off a beach. And trust me, her build and face would not have her being found in one of those magazines that shows overly medicated girls in shiny dresses clutching some pathetic little bag. Her features were almost unremarkable in some respects.

panda100

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

The one thing i have experienced from past relationships is that girls can be very slow to believe a compliment, even that most basic complement of someone seeking a relationship with you. Don't get me wrong, they tend to rightly appreciate them and even feel good about them but i am not quite sure they are believing them fully.

Most women I know,myself included will question the compliment,If someone said I had nice hair for example, Id be thinking whats wrong with my hair! Its really stupid but I guess when your brought up with the message that you look crap unless you buy x,y znd z, its understandable that women can't really accept they might look good sometimes.

I don't think there's a difference between what men and women find attractive in fellow human beings. It differs from person to person regardless of gender.

Logical Fallacy

panda100 wrote: »

Most women I know,myself included will question the compliment,If someone said I had nice hair for example, Id be thinking whats wrong with my hair! Its really stupid but I guess when your brought up with the message that you look crap unless you buy x,y znd z, its understandable that women can't really accept they might look good sometimes.

Out of interest ( and sorry if I am derailing the thread ) , you seem to be a big believer in the effects of advertising, marketing and the general influence of the media on the female mind ( I completely agree with you and would apply the same to males, in many area's myself included )....does KNOWING that these messages exist and can have a negative effect on you make the effects any easier to overcome?

Catari Jaguar

I really don't understand why you'd think your hair looks crap if someone just said it was nice...

I don't know what the appropriate response to a compliment is.. Is "Oh no, this old thing" or "You look fab too!" or just blush? I usually smile & say thanks, and tell them where I got x outfit/haircut/make up and go off chuffed with myself.

Is agreeing to a compliment wrong?!

Neyite

cherub rock wrote: »

Is agreeing to a compliment wrong?!

nope. not at all, but doing the 'what, this old thing?' is a bad habit. i realised i did it all the time, until i learned to thank people who complimented me.

it was'nt until i accepted compliments that i looked back to realise that i was putting myself down by dismissing a compliment, making myself feel worse. it was almost as if i didnt consider myself worth a compliment, and it was a very negative mindset. now i accept all compliments and it puts me in a good mood for the day.

fruvai

liah wrote: »

My taste would probably include women like Natalie Portman, Rachael McAdams, Monica Belluci, Amanda Seyfried, Mandy Moore, Odette Yustman, Emily Browning, Catherine Zeta Jones, Jenny Wade, Mila Kunis.

You might enjoy Darren Aronofsky's new film so

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jaI1XOB-bs

I know I will

madbev90210

I guess I can appreciate all kinds of beauty because I find myself envying all kinds of girls for eg, Irish girls pale or tanned, curvy or thin ( not stick though) chinese girls with amazingly shiny hair, dark skinned girls with gorgeous figures and big lips, the D4 look, the pale goth look, the hippy look, the skater/casual converse look and I guess this would mean Im either a closet lesbian or I just find any girl with the confidence to do their own thing "hot".
My boyfriend never comments on girls but Im guessing he'd be into the fake boobs, false tan, extensions whereas I find that although these girls can be objectively "hot", it just seems too easy to conform to and reeks of a desire to follow others rather than be themselves (IMO).
So I guess I believe there is a difference, Im looking at the reasons behind the look, men are probably just looking!

panda100

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

Out of interest ( and sorry if I am derailing the thread ) , you seem to be a big believer in the effects of advertising, marketing and the general influence of the media on the female mind ( I completely agree with you and would apply the same to males, in many area's myself included )....does KNOWING that these messages exist and can have a negative effect on you make the effects any easier to overcome?

Yes completely. I worry a lot less now what I look like and what others think of the way i look. I know im never going to look like the people in the magazines and Im okay with that, whether thats a part of growing older or an insight into media pressures I dont know

p.s Dragan....your back,yay!Missed your opinions around here, they were always insightful and interesting

Logical Fallacy

panda100 wrote: »

Yes completely. I worry a lot less now what I look like and what others think of the way i look. I know im never going to look like the people in the magazines and Im okay with that, whether thats a part of growing older or an insight into media pressures I dont know

p.s Dragan....your back,yay!Missed your opinions around here, they were always insightful and interesting

Cheers for the insight.

And thank you, i was off focusing on real world stuff for a while but now find myself with some healthy downtime that i can fill with boards.ie again. The cycle is complete.

parker kent

madbev90210 wrote: »

I guess I can appreciate all kinds of beauty because I find myself envying all kinds of girls for eg, Irish girls pale or tanned, curvy or thin ( not stick though) chinese girls with amazingly shiny hair, dark skinned girls with gorgeous figures and big lips, the D4 look, the pale goth look, the hippy look, the skater/casual converse look and I guess this would mean Im either a closet lesbian or I just find any girl with the confidence to do their own thing "hot".
My boyfriend never comments on girls but Im guessing he'd be into the fake boobs, false tan, extensions whereas I find that although these girls can be objectively "hot", it just seems too easy to conform to and reeks of a desire to follow others rather than be themselves (IMO).
So I guess I believe there is a difference, Im looking at the reasons behind the look, men are probably just looking!

Why would you guess that? Despite what some women think, this is not every man's desire.

Plus Liah said above that men can't tell the difference between natural or not 9 times out of 10, I'd disagree big time with that!