Mother naked with a child.

lil_missy

How old is too old for a child to see their mother naked? For example, taking baths together, changing in front of the child, etc. Saw a discussion on this on a different website, just wanted to see what people think here. Thanks.

Scarinae

My mother has never had any qualms about being naked in front of us. One time I walked into the bathroom and she was standing on a stool naked cleaning the ceiling - apparently she noticed some mildew when she was in the shower, and just had to clean it right then and there (I'd never post this in AH, cos I know I'd get a 'Pics or GTFO)
It annoys the crap out of me - what if I'd brought a friend home unannounced, and they'd walked in on her? She just rolls her eyes and calls me a prude

Anyway, I just realised that didn't really answer your question. In terms of how old is too old for a child to see their mother naked, I think it really depends on the family and their dynamics. I know in my family anyway, my mum doesn't care if we see her naked. It's just skin. If anything, it was the other way around - when I started to get a bit older, hitting puberty etc, I didn't want my mother to see ME naked. I don't think my mum has seen me naked since I was able to shower myself.

[EDIT] The remark about After Hours was just a throwaway comment, I didn't want to derail this thread into off-topicness. Sorry

Ickle Magoo

When they start getting uncomfortable about seeing me or me seeing them, then it's time. I haven't ever bathed with them but getting changed or them sitting watching me shower is fairly common-place at the mo.

rorymcgrory

What is GTFO?

kmart6

rorymcgrory wrote: »

What is GTFO?

Get The F*ck Out....:rolleyes:

Nevyn

When the child chooses not to due feeling embrasses.
While modesty is important, nudity isn't a big issue in our home.
Not that any of us sit around naked but being seen walking form the bed room to the bath room isn't a bit deal.

lil_missy

When I was growing up, my mom was the same. She didn't care to cover up infront of me and my sisters. In front of my brothers, it was different story of course. But as far as I remember, she took baths with my youngest brother until he was about 4.

I have a friend who is a guy, and his mother was a bodybuilder. She walked around the house nude until he was 12 or something until she started covering up. I think that age is a bit too far. I'd say boys might get curious about sexuality at an earlier age than 12.

rorymcgrory

kmart6 wrote: »

Get The F*ck Out....rolleyes

Why would anyone want to see pics of a naked mother and child?

kmart6

rorymcgrory wrote: »

Why would anyone want to see pics of a naked mother and child?

Tell ya what search Google and you might begin to understand it!

Scarinae

rorymcgrory wrote: »

What is GTFO?

It stands for 'Get the f*ck out'. Basically, if some of the posters in AH realise that I am female, or I say something about another female, they respond with 'Pics or GTFO'. It is tiresome to say the least. Anyway, that was just an aside, I don't want to turn this thread into AH-bashing.

Anyway, I think what Ickle Magoo says is probably right. It depends on the family, but I think as children get older they get more aware of things like nudity that wouldn't have bothered them when they were younger. If it makes them uncomfortable, it is time to stop (unless you're my mother of course )

Nevyn

Ok different forums have different standards for discourse and discussion, lets not let this thread become derailed.

Fittle

My little fella is 8 and is only now starting to cover up and wanting to shower himself - I'd still walk from the bedroom to the shower without a towel, but as he wants to start covering himself up, I think I'll be more discreet myself.
Nudity isn't a big issue in our house either. I've never taken a bath with him though...when the child starts to feel uncomfortable, that's when it's time to slowly cover up IMO, without turning it into a big deal.

Gloomtastic!

Yesterday, our four-year old suggested we 'buy Daddy pajamas for his birthday'. A subtle hint if ever I heard one!

metrovelvet

Does it make a difference whether the parent is same or different gender to the child?

lil_missy

metrovelvet wrote: »

Does it make a difference whether the parent is same or different gender to the child?

I think it makes all the difference. Boys shouldn't see their mom naked after a certain age. Girls seeing their mom naked wouldn't be as big of a deal. I didn't care seeing my mom naked when I was growing up. But I wouldn't have been comfortable seeing my dad naked after passing a certain age.

Cat Melodeon

I was brought up in a fairly prudish house. I can't ever remember seeing my mum or dad naked, beyond vague memories of shared baths. I'm much more relaxed about it myself and would hope that my kids will grow up knowing what the opposite sex's bits look like and feeling that the naked body is a natural thing rather than a shameful or purely sexual thing. The Swedes, Germans etc have that attitude and I think it's much healthier. Not that we will all be sitting in our skins round the breakfast table or anything, but there certainly will be no flustered fumbling under towels when getting dressed after a shower etc. I don't know if their dad will feel quite so uninhibited, but as their mum I feel they'll have seen my insides, no harm in them seeing the outside bits too.

LittleBook

Thaedydal wrote: »

modesty is important, nudity isn't a big issue in our home

Perfectly put. It was a fine line trying to teach my daughter about modesty while trying to avoid any implications of shame related to nudity. I think we did well but she's a lot more private now that she's a teenager, which is fine.

ash23

My daughter is nearly 8 and sees me naked regularly. It doesn't bother her but if it did, then I'd be more careful. I wouldn't answer the door naked and I don't strip off as soon as I walk into the house but I would go from bathroom to bedroom naked and I sleep in the nip too so she sees me in that context.

She covers up in front of her dad or her friends but she's comfortable in front of me.
As soon as she isn't I'll wear a robe.

ynul31f47k6b59

My boy is almost 6, and there's never been an issue with nudity in our house - he has often seen myself or his Dad naked in the bathroom. I don't purposely prance round in front of him, but if he happened to catch me in the bathroom, I wouldn't feel as if I'd done something wrong. (His only comment was "where's your willy?")

HOWEVER; I clearly remember being around 13 and seeing my mother naked in the hall one night, and she stopped for a full-blown conversation. That image is burned into my brain, and I definitely don't want to do that to my son. I think it's important not to make an issue out of it, but to just be a little more careful as the child gets older. Aged 5/6 - blah. Aged 13 - NOOOO.

AvaKinder

I'm 24 and my mother still has no qualms about me seeing her naked but I'm not at all the same. She has no problem walking from bedroom to bathroom nude or me going into her room and chatting away while she's in bed/getting dressed. Although she'd never go downstairs without clothes on, or at least a towel/dressing gown. But I'm the fairly opposite, would feel shy even in underwear if she walked into my room.

Jinxi

It is a thin line between showing children that the human body is a beautiful thing and they shouldn't be ashamed of it, and also having respect for themselves.
My father was a complete prude, my mother the complete opposite. She had the opinion that it was her house and if we were uncomfortable then we could leave the room.
I don't agree that seeing your mother naked if your a boy has anything to do with being sexual, unless there is already some weird dynamic. If you ask my brothers(and i have) they will tell you it was just as embarrassing seeing her naked as it was being with her when she burst into song in public:rolleyes: If anything it desensitised them to naked women.

CrazyRabbit

How old is too old? When you start to look all wrinkly and disgusting.

Seriously though, I don't know why nudity is such a big deal.

I guess it all depends on the childs environment. If raised in a home where it is 'normal' for the child to see you naked, then it's no big deal to them, even up into their teenage years. If the child has been raised in a very prudish home, then it can be quite shocking/traumatic/shameful for them. It's all about the childs 'regular' environment. Damage only occurs when something extremely outside the 'norm' occurs.

username123

My home was quite prudish as regards nudity and as a result I clearly remember being totally shocked at age 10ish in the changing room of Rainbow Rapids when I caught sight of a fully naked adult female. I agree with the concept of modesty being the crucial idea, and nudity not being considered a big deal.

pm25

ah stop, this has made me laugh so much, from the "wheres your willY" comment to the Naked mom cleaning mildew...such a mam thing to do!:D

Love it. I have 2 baby girls, i often bath with them, think its lovely. The hubbie calls it creepy bath night! He sometimes showers with the 2 year old but he wears shorts and he avoids really being naked unless he is getting dressed after a shower or something. But with mams and daughters i think its grand...if anything they just get mortified as they get older.....:D

My daughter is 6, I regularly shower with her, would never hide my bits from her. My husband thought doesn't like her seeing him fully naked so she doesn't. That's his choice and that's cool with me.

As soon as she's uncomfortable with me being naked in front of her then I'll stop.

Das Kitty

I was thinking of starting this thread a few weeks ago. I sleep naked and usually give the baby his first bottle without getting dressed. My husband was wondering when it wouldn't be appropriate anymore. We're both from quite prudish households but don't want our son to be raised that way. We basically came to the conclusion that seems to be the consensus here. When he's uncomfortable with it.

wolfpawnat

I tghink gender has everything to do with it! Girls can see how they will develop in there mum, but boys there is alot to be considered. I have tattoos and when my little man sees me coming into the bedroom (we share) he immediately wants to see them and touch them, which is grand as they are nowhere inappropriate, but he pulls off my towel to get to them! He's only 18 months, but age 2 will be the end of that!

I know this might seem young but the reason I have for this, is after studying child psychology in college, which states that between the ages of 3-5years boys become obsessed with the genitalia (I personally think this is a life long thing however) boys who see that their father have the same genitalia as them but notice their mother does not can become respect their father as they are usually seen as the head of the household by children, and lose respect for their mother as she is clearly missing genitalia in their minds. Odd I know, but thats what we learned!

ash23

On another side note, I prefer my daughter to know what women look like naked. She sees me and occasionally my mother, my sisters etc naked or semi naked. We're all different shapes and sizes and I think it's good for her to know that women can also have saggy boobs, stretch marks, cellulite and wobbly bits, rather than just seeing air brushed images of models in magazines.

metrovelvet

I think American pediatricians advise to stop at 3. But we also have a lot of shame around our bodies and I wonder how much of that is influenced by our puritanism.

I do recall once I was around 11 or 12 and my brother was around 8 I wasn't really as free to walk around in my underpants and my mother started telling me to wear dressing gowns, etc in the more public areas of the house, like the living room and kitchen. I also remember not really understanding why I was told to do this, but I did it anyway.

cynder

I remember seeing my mom and dad naked up to around 12,


I tell my 10 year old to 'get out' if I'm changing or in the shower/bath, I have no intention of seeing her naked and havent since she was at least 7 maybe even 6 (she is very private). She wont even let the male doctors see her injection sites and has issues with females nurses checking her injection sites yet she walks round in a bikini and hitches up her skirt.

My boys join me in the shower/bath they are 5 and 3 and no have no bother walking round naked or seeing me in the nip. They even come in the bathroom when im on the loo.

The only people who see my husband naked is me and the oncologist. He is very private.

EraseAndRewind

My daugther is 9 and my son is 4 and im not a bit bothered about them seeing me naked

regularly shower together and they will also sit and chat with me while im in the shower

My husband wouldnt be as comfortable naked in front of our daugther as she is his step daughter but he will often shower with our son

ds always used to say 'mam you have no willy but dont worry ill buy you one for christmas ':pac:

im hoping that they grow up with a healthy attitude

metrovelvet

ash23 wrote: »

On another side note, I prefer my daughter to know what women look like naked. She sees me and occasionally my mother, my sisters etc naked or semi naked. We're all different shapes and sizes and I think it's good for her to know that women can also have saggy boobs, stretch marks, cellulite and wobbly bits, rather than just seeing air brushed images of models in magazines.

Would you think its important for sons to know what women really look like too?

Its interesting that this thread is about a mother's nudity because images of female nudity are far more public and available anyway - and I don't mean top shelf magazines, but museums, art books, film, etc.

ash23

metrovelvet wrote: »

Would you think its important for sons to know what women really look like too?

Its interesting that this thread is about a mother's nudity because images of female nudity are far more public and available anyway - and I don't mean top shelf magazines, but museums, art books, film, etc.

I don't have a boy so I suppose the answer to that is that I don't know. I think if she were a boy, I would probably be stopping prancing around naked in front of her about now. She is getting to an age where she is talking about sex, asking questions and starting to notice boys (although all in a fairly innocent way).

So if she were a boy, I think this age (7-8) would be the age I'd stop. However as he (my hypothetical son) got older, I'd probably encourage him to watch programs like "the sex education show" which is on CH4, to look at art etc.
I would want him to see that women come in all shapes and sizes but maybe not to see that his ma does

My ex was never comfortable being naked in front of our daughter so she has never seen a man naked. I don't think she's know what a penis was, even just the word would leave her stumped.

I should probably get a facts of life book soon. Oh lord, the joys of parenting!
:rolleyes:

axer

lil_missy wrote: »

Boys shouldn't see their mom naked after a certain age.

Why?

metrovelvet wrote: »

I think American pediatricians advise to stop at 3.

:eek: I would love to see that report. That is crazy. What is wrong with nudity? Here where I am in Germany at the moment children go with their parents to the naked saunas all the time. Nudity is only a big deal if you make it a big deal.

metrovelvet

axer wrote: »

Why?

:eek: I would love to see that report. That is crazy. What is wrong with nudity? Here where I am in Germany at the moment children go with their parents to the naked saunas all the time. Nudity is only a big deal if you make it a big deal.

I know its ridiculous. Americans have body neurosis, just look at how much plastic surgery we get.

When we are in France we go to the beach and everyone is topless.

silja

I am living in the USA right now and I haven't heard about the 3 year thing.

I agree it should be largely up to the child... I also think there is a difference between the child seeing me getting dressed or dashing from bathroom to bedroom (acceptable anytime, though if child seemed acutely embarassed, I'd try to avoid getting in such situations), and bathing with the child (which I would see as unacceptable around 5 years, maybe a little later for same sex children).

This discussion reminds me of a friend of my husband's (an Irish male) looking at my husband strangely when he said he was bathing our 4 months old daughter by both of them getting into the tub, naked! The guy expected my husband to wear swimming togs!!!

Davidth88

Good Lord , if this American pediatricians' report is real I am corrupting my 4.5 YO daughter.

I see no reason to make a fuss about nakedness .

I would feel different possibly when she is a little older , it's a shame really .

flowerific

What ever about peoples own kids seeing them naked. I don't like it when in the ladies gym parents of 7 and 8 year old boys have the kids changing in the ladies, as i do not feel comfortable with this. The gym I'm in allows up to 7yr old boys in the ladies changing rooms, but some of the boys look older.
Are women comfortable with their 7 year old boys seeing other naked womens bodies?

axer

flowerific wrote: »

Are women comfortable with their 7 year old boys seeing other naked womens bodies?

Why should there be a problem with it? Is nakedness dirty or something? Or is it just because it is blown out of proportion due to our Irish "cover it up" attitude?

metrovelvet

Irish women are paritcularly self concious about their nudity. Ive been in American changing rooms, Irish changing rooms, french beaches and turkish hammams. And of all of them, the Irish changing room is the most theatrical display of modesty I have every witnessed.

Gyalist

My son would have regularly seen me and his mother naked until he was seven - when he finally started to sleep in his own room. Nudity is only a problem if the parents make it a problem.

I wouldn't take the work of American child psychologists as gospel either. After all, Corn Flakes was invented to reduce the incidence of masturbation and sexual thoughts in young boys!

ATMW

My two daughters, who are both in their late teens now regularly see me nude walking from the bathroom to the bedroom or getting dressed in the morning and it never occurred to me not to do this. (My mother used do it in our house when I was growing up, and continued to do so even when she was in her eighties and we were visiting). On the rare occassions when it is warm enough to do so I have been known to go about the house starkers- one of them rolls her eyes up to heaven, but then she often does this about the clothes I wear!, the other doesn't mind at all and will happily chat away. I wouldn't do this if they had friends in the house. They used see my husband naked when they were small, but we both felt that it was probably best for him to cover up when they got older, the other day one of them accidently saw him naked and wasn't bothered--which I think is a good thing. I know that there are people out there that think the above is not right, but all I can say is that that has not been my experience.

Fittle

My 8 yr old son sees me naked regularly, running from the bathroom to the bedroom etc, and he hasn't yet started to get 'shy' about it.

I however, am VERY conscious that as a 15yr old pubescent, he will remember the image of his mammy naked:eek:....so for my part, I'm much more conscious of covering up around him just lately.:D

ATMW

I do sometimes wonder what I would have done if I had had boys. I think I would have been more circumspect, but I can't see that I would have adopted a "better to die than let your son see you nude" attitude. If I were fittle I think that I would carry on letting my son seeing you naked until he started complaining. The funny thing is that I can be quite shy changing at swimming pools etc, but it is sort of bred into me that it is okay for your family to see you naked.

Jinxi

I think that it is really important for children to see their parents naked, no matter what age or sex they are. It makes it less taboo, and lets kids know that tv bodies naked is not reflected in real life.
People who are hyper vigilant about being never being naked around their make children fell like the human body is something to be ashamed about, or something that should be kept secret. Not good for health body image, healthy sexual life, or child protection.
If your kids begin to get "aw mum/dad" about it, thats just a developmental stage. I bet they show the same attitude when you make jokes to their friends or try to buy them clothes.
If they were truely embarrassed they would leave the room.

MrsA

Our almost 3 year old and almost 2 year old see both myself and my husband naked all the time.

We will cover up in front of them if and when they ask us to.

It would not be any different if we had a daughter.

up for anything

I hadn't given a thought to this subject in years. My kids see me naked all the time. Well, not quite all the time but if they walk in while I'm getting dressed or pre-school run when I'm racing round the house like a mad thing trying to remember where I shrugged off my bra the night before. I see them naked too. In fact, I've even been brought in a number of times to adjudicate as to whether No. 1 son has a pubic hair or not. Sadly he hasn't. Nakedness is all in the mind.

The Cool

With me and my mother it's the opposite way round: she's much shyer about it than I am. I went to boarding school so spent 6 years getting changed in front of my 5 dormmates and whoever else happened to be in the dorm at the time. At 21, I'll now happily strip off in front of my mother, say if I'm trying on a new dress for her or something, but her natural reaction is to look away or leave the room. She'll ask me if I'm decent before entering the room, I'll tell her it doesn't matter if I am or not!

I'm the same with changing in front of my sister, but only now that she's in her midteens and knows it's normal to have boobs, etc. She's now in boarding school so she's not as shy about stripping down to underwear. I think it's important as a developing 14 year old to see that what she's developing is normal.

minichunkies

The Cool wrote: »

I think it's important as a developing 14 year old to see that what she's developing is normal.

and shexy!

Nevyn

Ray Foley banned and banished, the parenting forum has a zero tolerance policy for trolls.

kfod

My mam and dad have always been happy to leave the bathroom door open when showering / going to the loo etc so I grew up seeing them naked and was never bothered by it, infact some of the best teenage conversations I had with my mam was when i was scrubbing her back for her while she took a bath. Having said that, me and my siblings all locked the door when using the bathroom.


Now I have my own kids I'm the same, It's grand except for when I'm go to the toilet and my young fella (18months) comes in and tries to grab the willy off me, trying to shuffle around the toilet out of his reach can be awkward, and stopping mid flow doesn't always happen!

Oh well, I guess he will grow out of it

I think it is important for kids to see regular bodies as a balance to those portrayed in the media etc. I am comfortable in my skin due to my upbringing and I'll probably do the same as my parents and I figure the kids will start to lock the doors when they want to. No doubt they will give out to me the same way I gave / give out to my father when I open the bathroom door to see him sitting there stinking the place out.