being touched randomly

triseke

So yesterday i was waiting for a friend of mine at a dart station around 3pm when a man comes up to me. Now its obvious that he is very drunk or he has a mental disorder. He tried to firstly shake my hand, and i was getting a bit uncomfortable. He then proceeds to try and touch my breasts and pull the hair out of my face.

I told him to leave me the hell alone and went into the station. This guy follows me in. Now im very freaked out, the very kind ticket lady lets me hide out in her ticket boorh place until he leaves. She asked me if i wanted to contact the guards. I told her no that it was alright and he was just drunk.

The question i want to ask you guys is would ye have called the guards? the ticket woman told me that she has seen him around the station before bothering women but she cannot do anything about it until someone makes a complaint.

TL : DR: drunk dude touches your boobs and follows you, call the guards or not?

So what would ye do?

Nevyn

I wouldn't have let him touch me to begin with, going to shake your hand is a common tatic to get close to you and to hold on to you. If I had of been in that sitution I would have shoved him away and started shouting at him. On lookers won't know that he is a stranger and you have to yell out when crap like that happens.

As for ringing the garda it's hard to press charges on something like this, usually they'd just lock him up over night or get him to move on as the paper work and courts time on this is a lot of work.

Crap I know you were sexually assulated by a drunk stranger in a public place and harassed and intimidated so that you had to hide from him which is not acceptable what so ever.

I'd have punched him, tbh.
I hate being touched =.=

krudler

Swift kick in the balls would have made him think twice about doing it again, although in this country you would have been the one being taken to court for assaulting an innocent man who just brushed against you.

dublingal80

that happened to me once before at tara street train station. I was doing my usual fast paced walkin to tara street and I was getting my ticket out of my bag, walking towards the door and an old foreign man came over and it was like he was tryin to put his arm around me to kiss me, i just pushed him away and with that he grabbed my boob and off he went.

This was at like 5.15 on a work day. I was completely in shock and just went up to catch the dart and it wasnt until afterwards i was like WTF just happened!!!!

like you, i was thinkin, if i wasnt so shocked would i have reported it, but he was gone before i realised what had happend

ArerA

I would have just moved away and told him to leave me alone.
Scary situation alright. Jeeze.

Links234

this is part of the reason I hate pubs. the sexual intimidation from some people is really uncomfortable. but I've never been groped or anything in public during the day, that's pretty horrible.

Neyite

happened me too in public, getting groped. but like most here, i was so shocked, i didnt react at the time. nor did i report it. i felt mortified initially, so was kind of too embarrassed to make a big deal of it, and therein lies the mistake i think. if these creeps knew they were chancing a wallop across the face, or security summoned, that there would be consequences they might be less likely to grope.

now anytime a wino stumbles up to me with his hand out, i say very loudly 'LEAVE ME ALONE', and turn away. the few times i did that since, i felt empowered.

Feeona

triseke wrote: »

drunk dude touches your boobs and follows you, call the guards or not?

I've never been groped by a stranger thank god. Have been followed though. I went straight to the police station and gave a description of the man. I felt a bit silly going in because the man hadn't done anything to me, but the gardaí couldn't have been more helpful. I did it because of purely selfish reasons-I don't want to be scared when I walk out my front door.
Definitely report him. I read in your post in After Hours that you're a bit wary going by the train station now. This is the reason why you should report him. Your freedom should not be in any way compromised by some loser scumbag.

bambera

Hey saw this over in after hours but figured it was safer for me to post here

Almost a year ago, I was walking home from work, lots of people walking in same direction when I get elbowed in the boob, and the guy then steps in front of me and turns and looks back then continues walking ahead. I started cursing in my head but at the same time thought lots of people walking so most likely an accident.

Further up the road I cross over while there's a gap in the traffic. There was hardly anyone walking up the other side which is a bit unusual. There's an empty bus parked at the side of the road and next of all I see this same guy coming onto the footpath from in front of the bus and walking towards me. I recognized him straight away. I walked in towards the wall and he walked in toward the wall too (it's a wide footpath) so I put my hand on my bag thinking that that's what he must be after. But as he got closer he brushed past me and grabbed my boob(there is no mistake, I actually felt him do this). Now in this guys head I reckon he thought "oh she'll think this was an accident".

I was shocked for a second but then all I could think was I couldn't let him get away with this. I turned around and started shouting "you a***e hole"
I tried to hit him in the back of his head but stumbled over his feet and we both fell down. He was able to get up quicker then me.

When I got home, my boyfriend brought me down to the gardí. Unfortunately they never caught him but they took it very seriously, they contacted me regularly to look at cctv footage ect.

Sorry, I know I've ranted on a bit there but Op I think you should report it to Gardí as this guy will keep doing it if he's getting away with it and the lady in the ticket booth is a witness to say that she has seen him do it to others.

Das Kitty

I had this happen to me on Halloween when I was 15. I remember going in to cry in the shower

Then randomly last Christmas I was in the same area, heavily pregnant on a night out and a guy was walking towards me as I was going down the road and he was drunk and started walking sideways in on me. I had a flashback to when I was 15, it was the same guy! My instant reaction was to roar at him and threaten to rip his bollocks off :eek: he put the head down and scampered off. I have no doubt he spotted my vulnerable state and was going to do to me what he did when I was 15.

The guy I was walking with was in shock, unsurprising really! I explained to him and thankfully he doesn't think I'm too much of a psycho.

ordinary_girl

I've been in similar situations before. I don't know why it is that some guys seem to think that it's okay to grab a girls ass or boobs, as though it's there for them. Ugh.

And while technically going to the gardai and reporting it is what should happen in a perfect world, it's not something I've never been able to do - I get the adrenalin (sadly flight and not fight) and my main concern is getting home with as little hassle as possible, I just want the day over and done with. And I'm sure this is true of many other people who've been in similar situations. It's easy to say you should have shoved him or pushed him away, but in reality most people wouldn't.

In short, yes, you should have reported it to the gardai but you shouldn't feel bad or as though you've done wrong because you didn't, most people would react the same way.

angelxx

This has happened to me quite a few times where men seem to think it is acceptable to touch a woman pureply because they are drunk. I found it very unnerving and intimidating.

Nervous Wreck

Thaedydal wrote: »

I would have shoved him away and started shouting at him. On lookers won't know that he is a stranger and you have to yell out when crap like that happens.

Can't agree with this enough. The most important thing to do in a situation like this is make sure that EVERYBODY in the vicinity sees the exchange. Though it's not always fool-proof, generally no one will assault you with so many onlookers and will likely just shrink away.

elba

triseke wrote: »

TL : DR: drunk dude touches your boobs and follows you, call the guards or not?

I probably wouldn’t call the guards. I’ve been trying to think of why and all I can come up with is that it would be making a fuss but this reasoning bothers me a bit.

However - if the guy is making a habit of pestering people as the ticket lady said I’d seriously consider calling into the guards and making them aware of it, even if I didn't go as far as a formal complaint. While the gardai probably couldn’t do very much with one complaint they could build up a file or whatever and have my record to add to anyone that complained after.

angelxx

When this happens it's important to tell the guards, Even if you think it's not important it honestly is because in some cases if they think they can grope women in public, What can they get away with next? At the very least they will do the same to other women. The gardai do take complaints like this very seriously, no one has the right to touch you without your permission.

MoodeRator

angelxx wrote: »

When this happens it's important to tell the guards, Even if you think it's not important it honestly is because in some cases if they think they can grope women in public, What can they get away with next? At the very least they will do the same to other women. The gardai do take complaints like this very seriously, no one has the right to touch you without your permission.

this.

These scum need to know that it is in no way EVER acceptable to treat another person in such a disgusting way. I would urge anyone that has had to suffer this, to contact the Gardai and make a very strong complaint. I dread to think how much further they would go if they continue to do this unchallenged.

Ruby-J

I agree with Angelxx, I'm always getting groped in pubs, clubs and bars and I wouldnt mind its not as if im scantily clad! So i dont understand why men do it at all. Its by no means attractive or wanted and I think some men need a good kick up the *** to be honest. If thats the way they treat women when they want to start chatting them up how do they ever expect to find one?

For me its just not on and everytime it has happend to me I've turned around and said something straight up like "how dare you!" or "what do you think you are doing?"

allanb49

Went to the guards yesterday, The girl in the train station went down after work and reported it. Triseke did the same, and they have the guy on cctv, also she was given the gardais number to call if she saw him around leixlip. Thanks guys!

Wibbs

gleep this isn't After Hours, so ease up or take it elsewhere.

gleep

apologies,


*takes it elsewhere*

Ms_Taurus

allanb49 wrote: »

Went to the guards yesterday, The girl in the train station went down after work and reported it. Triseke did the same, and they have the guy on cctv, also she was given the gardais number to call if she saw him around leixlip. Thanks guys!

You did the right thing, it happend me a few times when i went out to pubs, especially when its crowded, guys touching my bum and boobs, it also happended on a bus one day a gut put his hand on my boob it looked like an accident as the bus was crowded. Some times there is the accidental brush off them when squeesing throught a crowd.

allanb49

Ms_Taurus wrote: »

You did the right thing, it happend me a few times when i went out to pubs, especially when its crowded, guys touching my bum and boobs, it also happended on a bus one day a gut put his hand on my boob it looked like an accident as the bus was crowded. Some times there is the accidental brush off them when squeesing throught a crowd.

Theres a word for that, some people get off on it, i know a friend of mine at a gig had lovely long brown hair felt something on the behind, guy was "brushing" into him.

Followed swiftly by YOUR A DUDE?! Good gig aint it man, and squeezed on past.

Ruby-J

allanb49 wrote: »

Theres a word for that, some people get off on it, i know a friend of mine at a gig had lovely long brown hair felt something on the behind, guy was "brushing" into him.

Followed swiftly by YOUR A DUDE?! Good gig aint it man, and squeezed on past.

Hahaha BRILLIANT!!!

dammitjanet

One Christmas eve I was down in the local and myself and my boyfriend began chatting to one of the regular ol lads. Can't even remember what we were talking about but at the end of it the bf shook his hand, i went to do the same but he asked for a hug. Well it was christmas so I did. I pulled away after feeling his hand press against my boob. I was so shocked (only 19 at the time, not at all street-wise). I told my bf as we left and he (hammered) laughed and said how I must have made the guys night.

I hate dirty old men

LegacyUser

On a similar note, I hate it when random customers at work randomly touch you, hand on your upper arm, shoulder, back,(all usually male of a certain age) I just think it's so rude. Like I have never met them before in my life. I would never walk into a shop etc and randomly touch any of the staff in there, why do people think it's acceptable to do this?? Had a similiar incident with a very senior member of management. When talking to me one day, put his hand on my upper arm, he was asking me where somerthing in the building was, at the same time I was moving my arm to gesture where this thing was, his hand (still on my arm) moved slightly as I moved my arm, and touched the side of my breast... Maybe it was an accident, but what annoys me is that it wouldn't have happened if he hadn't been touching me in the first place! I think i blanked it out of my mind at the time, but i've started to think about it lately and its annoying me, the creep...

SeekUp

Feeona wrote: »

Definitely report him. I read in your post in After Hours that you're a bit wary going by the train station now. This is the reason why you should report him. Your freedom should not be in any way compromised by some loser scumbag.

Absolutely.

I've never been in that situation, but short of an assault or anything like that, I doubt that I'd ever report it, just because it's a pain and I'd think it's more trouble than it's worth. However, as many posters have pointed out, it's very helpful for the authorities to have some complaints on file if anything does happen in the future, or if the groping actions escalate to anything more. So while I might not report anything if it's in a familiar situation, I'd definitely say something if it's a stranger in a public place. (And you'd better believe that I'm going to give them a piece of my mind either way.)

monzer

That's awful, I'm glad you reported it! I don't think I would have even thought about reporting it if it had happened to me, but now after reading this thread I can see the reasons why these type of things should be reported to the gardai.
I can't understand how people think they can touch women like that! I was out on saturday night and was walking through the crowds in the club looking for my friends when some randomer pinched my ass, I felt so violated and turned around to give him a load of abuse! He stands there with his friends who at this point are all looking at me as if crazy and I'm the one in the wrong for being offended, that it was only for the laugh!! I don't know, it's just really difficult to know how to react in those kind of situations!

Feeona

monzer wrote: »

I was out on saturday night and was walking through the crowds in the club looking for my friends when some randomer pinched my ass, I felt so violated and turned around to give him a load of abuse! He stands there with his friends who at this point are all looking at me as if crazy and I'm the one in the wrong for being offended, that it was only for the laugh!!

Guys who do things like that will one day get married, have a baby girl and watch her turn into a beautiful woman. They will then remember how they treated women when they were younger (or they'll claim to 'know what men are like'), and will be tormented that their daughter is probably going through the exact same thing. A decent guy will never go through such torment because he would've treated women with respect.

So don't worry, those losers are setting themselves up for hell further down the line!

abrr1000

Yeah I agree when it comes to them being drunk they use it shamelessly as an excuse. I've been grabbed several times by work colleagues on nights out (christmas parties) and booze being used as an excuse. It is so degrading

MoodeRator

Feeona wrote: »

Guys who do things like that will one day get married, have a baby girl and watch her turn into a beautiful woman. They will then remember how they treated women when they were younger (or they'll claim to 'know what men are like'), and will be tormented that their daughter is probably going through the exact same thing. A decent guy will never go through such torment because he would've treated women with respect.

So don't worry, those losers are setting themselves up for hell further down the line!

I like the way you thought that through and phrased it so well!

Ickle Magoo

If I see one of these odd-balls making a bee-line for me, I find the tallest, biggest guy around and ask if I can stand next to him and point out the odd-ball - you'd be amazed how quickly odd-ball does a U-turn. Don't let them shake your hand or do anything that allows them to grip onto you, stop you leaving or hold you where you are. Yell and kick or smacking them across the face or head with a bag while screaming "GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" works wonders as well. Most of the time these creeps have targeted you because they reckon you'll be quiet and timid and they'll get away with it - so make sure you're neither.

i like pie

i was in a similar situation a few weeks ago when a man approached me in a busy area at lunch time. he didn't touch me but said some pretty vulgar and disgusting things to me. he kept coming closer to me but luckily another man walked our way and the man quickly walked off, things could have gone so much worse! i was shocked when it happened and didn't know what to do. the following day i told some friends and they told me to contact the gardai. the gardai could not have been kinder or more sympathetic. first i was speaking over the phone to a male garda but he put a female one on the phone so i felt more comfortable, she also took the statement. they were very eager to get a statement so they could send out a description of the male and were worried something else could happen by what the man had said to me. for the next few days there were patrol cars in the area and new cctv has been installed:) if anything like this happens to someone do not hesitate to contact the gardai!!

Reeni

This boob grabbing has happened to me on several occasions and I'm well and truly sick of it. But in saying that I have never called the cards. Firstly once the guy is gone, or I'm gone whats the point I don't know who he is. And secondly I guess I just don't think it would do me any good. I actually get very angry when this happens and luckily the men tend to beat a hasty retreat. I just don't understand the mentality of people who think its ok to just grab a woman, or anyone for that matter. It makes me feel horrible like I'm a piece of meat or something.

charliemidrif

yea just buy pepper spray online or tasers online comes in the post. ah feel safer already. nah seriously the lads just want a touch certainly is on the higher end of the scale compared to perving...im not sure what to think, pepper spray will give you time to leggit, whatever the motives. when does a bit of fun turn to desperation, terrible desperation. however ive witnessed respectable males treat women like dirt with drink. who knows how to assess risk especially with humans tough one. certainly public touching should be dealt with with a 700,00volt taser gun. simples. unacceptable altogether

Nevyn

Funny how we will talk about being touched or being touched up or having their boobs grabbed but won't use the term sexual assault, which is what it is and why we have such high % of sexual assault.

allanb49

I remember was at a gig when i was 14, It was in the Temple Bar Music Centre, was in the pit jumping about, looked up and saw a girl stagedive and coming towards me. Reactionairy i put my hands up to stop her smushing me and my hands lay to rest on her breast area. She got passed back and thought no more of it, Few minutes later get tipped on the shoulder turn around and have my testes being squeezed and asked how do i like it. Was kinda shocked as didn't know at the time what was going on.
But in all it happens to guys too.