Family In Law Issues

LegacyUser

Ok - I have this issue

Please need advices

I am due to get married early next year - just recently my future brother in law decided to get engaged (delighted for them) but they announced at the same time the wedding was all booked and the date was just 2 weeks before our wedding.

I am fuming but my reasons for upset is not for me but that one brother would be so thoughtless and disrespectful to another brother - and thinks there is nothing wrong about this whatsoever

My husband to be said he was said but he would have to get over it as he loved his brother ( I admire this) but husband to be wouldn't dream in a million years of doing such a thing to his own brother - I just feel so sad husband to be that a family member could be so selfish and why his own mother couldn't step in and say it was out of line

I know all about family origin but they all act so close yet I find this so callus
I cant talk to him - I want to but I cant I find it so deeply upsetting

But I have noted that they tend to tell him what to do all the time with their "advice" and are border line bullies

We have been together since we were teenagers and I feel we still get treated like a teenage couple that dont have a clue about a relationship

This would never ever happen in my family not ever

Please I dont want to do - I have a strong urge to tell Further Brother in Law exactly what I think of him - I keep thinking what else is he going to do -

LegacyUser

Eh, how , exactly, is this "thoughtless and disrespectful" ?

Was a queue formed, to which they were supposed to join?

Each couple should be 100% independent. Leave them to their day and enjoy your own.

Sound Bite

I agree with the above poster.

It appears to me that you are over-reacting.

Is the important thing that you are marrying the man you love and celebrating your commitment to him. That is the main thing and that should be the source of your happiness. What difference does it make when anyone else gets married? It doesn't take away from your big day.

IMO, your priorities appear to be all wrong.

Nevyn

I think that it's a petty thing to do and that you can move your date or not bother and see it as a way of flitering out people who matter and those who don't from your life.

niceoneted

Ask him would he be interested in a joint wedding.
Perhaps it is his intended wife that is putting pressure on him for that date and not his doing. Perhaps she is jealous of your relationship and wants to steal some of the limelight.
You might be able to concentrate on having a smaller wedding - let him invite all the neighbours/relations etc the ones that "have to be invited".

Just work on your own day being special. I think you have a right to be annoyed as it is an expensive time for a family as it is without having two weddings in the one month.
Look at it this way too, you'll have there wedding before yours so all you can do is top theres also you might be lucky and they will still be on their honeymoon for yours.

LegacyUser

OP's hand on heart would YOU even consider doing such a thing to a sibling - honestly

LegacyUser

OPs hand on heart would YOU even consider doing such a thing to a sibling - honestly would you

Leave my feelings aside - I want to know do you think you would do it to your brother or sister

Shelga

Eh, what exactly is the problem here? "How could one sibling do that to another"- you'd think he'd mown him down on the M50 from the way you're talking.

Two weeks between the weddings is enough, no? What would you deem to be appropriate? Three weeks? Six months? Or is it that they're getting married first?

My advice would be to remember that a wedding is just one day. You sound like you're thinking only about the wedding, and not the marriage. And I wouldn't tell your future BIL your ridiculous opinion on this matter if you want to have a good relationship with him for the next 30-40 years.

Sound Bite

OP, you're obviously very upset, angry etc about this but can you let us why exactly? It might lead to more helpful answers.

LegacyUser

Well its not good wedding etiquette for starters...you allow a period of three months between immediate family weddings - its also not fair on guests due to expense etc

There is all the time in the world why crowd the two days its completely unnecessary -

I guess I was raised differently to me this kind of thing comes together with learning table manners etc

I just think its a ****e thing to do your brother - I would not dream of doing it

I am upset for my partner as I see his upset but he can't say anything - it breaks my heart

coolcat63

Would you be as angry if they were marrying 2 weeks after you rather than before? Do you feel you're being usurped?

I agree it's unusual to have two weddings so close together but perhaps there are specific reasons for the brother-in-law and his wife (in waiting!) choosing that date; the availability of the church or venue. Don't forget your wedding will 'interfer' with theirs as much as vica versa....

cinderella2010

coolcat63 wrote: »

Would you be as angry if they were marrying 2 weeks after you rather than before? Do you feel you're being usurped?

I agree it's unusual to have two weddings so close together but perhaps there are specific reasons for the brother-in-law and his wife (in waiting!) choosing that date; the availability of the church or venue. Don't forget your wedding will 'interfer' with theirs as much as vica versa....

NOT ON AT ALL - Sorry to hear about this OP

That is just not on

LegacyUser

coolcat63 wrote: »

Would you be as angry if they were marrying 2 weeks after you rather than before? Do you feel you're being usurped?

I agree it's unusual to have two weddings so close together but perhaps there are specific reasons for the brother-in-law and his wife (in waiting!) choosing that date; the availability of the church or venue. Don't forget your wedding will 'interfer' with theirs as much as vica versa....

Of course I would feel the same......

Latest update now is BIL may not be back from his honeymoon for his own brother's wedding - OMG what is wrong with him

I think its a competition to them as they have told oh that they have three times our budget - Mmmmmm - OH now talking about us just eloping and tell nobody - I haven't asked since its his family but I am getting the impression he doesn't want his family at our wedding - WTF

You see this is how things get out of hand and it its thoughtless and disrespectful

Dyr

Newbie Bride2be wrote: »

Well its not good wedding etiquette for starters...you allow a period of three months between immediate family weddings - its also not fair on guests due to expense etc



I guess I was raised differently to me this kind of thing comes together with learning table manners etc

"don't lean across the table to get the salt michael óg, also allow three months between your weddings"

LegacyUser

Just did a poll on weddings online

Asked the general question on sibling weddings and how far apart they should be

Min I got for 3 months for everyone

some people even said a period of 8-9 months with it being such an expense on family and guests


So its actually common sense not manners

Beruthiel

If both of you had the intention of asking the same family members to the two weddings, then yes, I can see the problem, especially if some have to come from other countries. Expense + time off is very unfair on them.

Did you not just mention that to the BIL and see what his response is? Explain to him the logistics problem.
I'd bet it's his soon to be Mrs. who picked the date. Stuff like that is normally left to the wimmins.

Oryx

So, you know its not the done thing. You reckon these guys are bullies. I get that you are annoyed. But honestly, throwing a fit or arguing with your brother in law will only make matters worse. Your should take your lead from your fiance. If he is letting it go, then you must too. You will always have reasons to fall out with your inlaws during your married life, its normal to have differences. It may not be what you like to do, but dealing with the differences passively is the easiest way to a peaceful married life with your husband to be.

gossipgal08

Is there rivalry btw u and the other woman? Has she invented some? It sound like someone is trying to take the attention of ur day. Unless she is expecting and they want to get married before she starts to show. Also is some one in her family sick and they want the wedding sooner rather than later

LegacyUser

I am not going to have it out with anyone but I just hate to see people being wrong epscially by their own family - future BIL and H2B are very close

No she not pregs but said they cant wait to start a family so hence why they had to take the date - like awaiting a few weeks longer weren't an option

Oh I am angry and I want to let go but I just feel so so bad for H2B its sicking

if one of my siblings tried to pull a stunt like that my mother would have them excommunicated

My other problem is how am I going to get on with with BIL future wife - I cant see myself forgetting this anytime soon if even ever - I dont know her that well as they have not been together long but all I can see now is not a very nice person

DublinMember

It is unusual alright .. but it's completely their decision. If they want to get married on that date, then that's their choice. Whether you like it or not.

Getting angry and holding a grudge is hurting you (and your relationship) more than them. You do have options. You can move your wedding. You can elope. You can choose to take a chill pill and relax. Enjoy their day. Maybe even learn from it.

If you're both organising weddings at the same time, then maybe you can help each other, or get discounts on photographers/flowers etc by using the same ones, or just share tips. Why does it have to be a battle between you and them? Can it not be fun? And show your OH the love that he deserves by not ruining his brother's wedding for him.

But it seems that you are quite attached to proving how right you are and how wrong they are, rather than resolving what your issue. So perhaps there is more at stake here than this silly issue which is the focus of your anger.

Anyway it sounds like taking some counselling to help you deal with your anger might be the first step, and you can learn to see that there are alternatives to how you are thinking. It's not as black and white as you would like .. and even the mixed responses that you are getting here are proof that it's not as simple as you are right and they are wrong.

To claim that cause your wedding is x date, that you have also got the rights to every day in the 3 months before and 3 months after it is complete and utter nonsense. And if you're behaving like such a loony, I'm not surpriseed his brother is contemplating extending his honeymoon so he can miss out on the all silly bridezilla drama .. I would do the same in his shoes.

I am also getting married in the next few months. And I just can't believe that you are focussed on this silly stuff. The wedding is about you and your other half. It's not about the party, or the dress, or who you invite, or date. It's simply about you and your OH committing to spend the rest of your lives together. And if that was your focus, this would all seem less important.

trio

OP, I do think that it's a bit cheeky to expect the same family members to take time off work/fork out/travel etc. twice within two weeks.

However there is very little you can do. Actually, other than put your wedding back 3 months, there is nothing you can do.

But for the love of God don't let it fester. I know one girl who was proposed to on holiday. She comes back to discover that her fiance's best friend has proposed to his g.f. in their absence and everyone is oooohing and aaaaahing over them.

Now at first I was understanding - she felt like no-one was really that interested in her news after the friends news. But she's STILL GOING ON ABOUT IT. Honestly - every time she has a bit of drink in her out it comes "She stole my thunder...." all bitter. They're both married now, but she won't get over it. She'll be banging on about it probably even when her kids are getting married.

It was her fiance I really felt sorry for - he made such an effort to do this big romantic holiday proposal but once they got back and heard the friends news, she went all sour and stayed that way. Some idyllic engagement!

So think of your fiance and stop being sour. It's one of the most special times of your life - don't ruin it by obsessing about someone elses wedding date.

Oh and by the way, at least you have the consolation that on their wedding day everyone will be talking about your big day coming up so soon.

LegacyUser

Trio,

This is it - I do not want this festering at all - i want to forgive and forget but its just not happening - I am a very understanding forgiving person and I hate the fact that I have these feelings

I dont want this to even cross my mind in years to come - its only hurting myself and H2B
The other two love birds dont give a Sh*te - I really just want to not give a shi*e that is what I want

trio

Look, it's a recent development. I'm not saying you won't take time to calm down.

Fume away, but just try not to go on and on about it to your fiance. There's nothing he can do either - and it'll just stress him hugely having you be so unhappy and he's powerless to change it.

When it comes up next, just say "Oh, all that matters is that we're getting married when we want and where we want!"

Organising a wedding is stressful enough! So just try to accept the arrangement, take consolation in the fact that many of the guests will think it bad form too - and try to keep your irritation under control.

Whatever you do, don't bitch about the couple to anyone - it WILL get back, and you have to live with BIL and herself for the rest of your life. Don't start off that relationship negative even if your private thoughts are less than sweet. Keep those thoughts private.

The girls on weddingsonline will probably be telling you you should do this and that. Put your foot down, complain to the BIL etc. etc. But I'm telling you that would ruin your relationship with them and make you look like a Bridezilla. There is nothing you can do, I'm afraid.

LegacyUser

Thanks Trio

Yeah time should heal all wounds - I am also taking comfort in the fact that mutual friends have told me what arseholes they are and I am sure the mutual guests will question their motives too - but I say nothing as I know it would come back

Elle Collins

It's bad form, it's bad etiquette, it's bad manners, but just console yourself in knowing that it'll appear that way to a lot more people than just the two of you OP.

I just mentioned your situation to a woman I work with who has two grown daughters. I asked how she'd react if one of them pulled the same stunt on the other. She was horrified and said she'd put an immediate stop to it and also that she'd have to get to the bottom of what the bad feeling was about, because very few people would be thick skinned enough not to see how this would cause offence.

Really though, as much as it sticks in your craw, the only thing to do is ignore it.

Cheap Thrills!

The date is so close that the couple themselves would likely be still on honeymoon for your wedding , so it is more than just careless or thoughtless. It's as if they are snubbing your wedding ?

I would move your date, you shouldn't have to but they haven't left you with much choice. It's really bad form of them.

Busi_Girl08

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

I would move your date, you shouldn't have to but they haven't left you with much choice. It's really bad form of them.

I don't see why they (the OP and her fiancé) have to move their date.
They booked their day first, I'm guessing the brother and his fiancé knew their date beforehand.

If their own idiocy/stubbornness/bare-face cheek causes them to miss the OP's wedding, well, if I were the OP, I wouldn't shed too many tears about them not being there.

seamus

Elle Collins wrote: »

It's bad form, it's bad etiquette, it's bad manners, but just console yourself in knowing that it'll appear that way to a lot more people than just the two of you OP.

Agreed. I've heard of it done before, and it's a very bizarre thing to do. Very disrespectful to the other couple and I'm of the opinion that the kind of person who does this is either a complete and utter moron with no social skills or is being actively callous and narcissistic about the whole thing.

No, two weeks between weddings is not nearly enough. The guests come down to the wedding, pay for travel and accomodation, pay for food and drink, give a present and then go home. And by the time they've recovered from the hangover, never mind the monetary cost, they've to go back and do it all over again with the same people.

What adds something extra special to weddings is having all of your friends and family all in the same room at the same time, having the craic - something which happens rarely, if at all. Another immediate or close family wedding occuring very close to yours takes this shine off it and your wedding can feel like just an extension of the first wedding in the guests' eyes.

OP, you have every right to be annoyed, but unfortunately that's about all the rights you have. I would keep it zipped unless your future brother-in-law or his future wife asks you, in which case you should be completely honest and tell them that they have been completely selfish and out of line. If you have already told people about your date and your wedding, you'll start to find that family members will give priority to going to your wedding and many will skip your BIL's wedding and go to yours instead because it's already in their frame of mind.

My brother got engaged about six months after I did, but they wanted to be married ASAP, because they're older and wanted to get cracking on a family as soon as. They however had the good grace to actually ask us first if it was OK for them to get married before we did, as we had already picked our date and booked our venue. They even asked us to tell them what kind of timeframe was OK. We said no later than 3 months beforehand. In hindsight 2 months would have been OK, but two weeks would have been ridiculous.

gossipgal08

Op I agree.if u have sent out the invites first people will prop go to yours. Two wedding in two weeks is a huge cost and ridiculous among siblings

cinderella2010

I think this is absolutely incredible
sorry now but what kind of people would do something like that to their own brother not to mind a brother..
When we booked our wedding we choose our date and made sure we were well apart from friends and cousins weddings 3/4 months....
We even waited for two months after SIL had her baby so as to not steal her thunder or ruffle any feathers..

What I dont understand is why your H2B parents dont step in - if anybody can step in and say something its them......surely the can see that this may cause a deep seethed resentment in the future???????? As head of the family the parents should do something

You know this is getting me thinking perhaps someone should write an article on wedding planning etiquette so it can be referred to by thoughtless and uneducated morans such as your future BIL



Its seems also that future SIL has a problem!!!!!she def knows its out of order but she doesn't seem to care about causing problems in her future husbands family....she doesn't sound like a nice person and I suspect as BIL has not been with her long he hasn't seen her for her true self

LegacyUser

I'm completely baffled as to why this is an issue. Someone said that the etiquette is that weddings should be three months apart, but I don't really understand why. If you plan to go to a wedding, surely it shouldn't make that much of a difference whether it's two weeks or three months after the last one?

As it happens, one of my best friends scheduled their wedding two weeks before mine. The weddings were in two different countries, there was some crossover of guests, and it also meant that they'd be on honeymoon and miss mine, but it never even crossed my mind that there should be some kind of issue. That's the timing that worked for them and for me and if people couldn't make both then it wasn't the end of the world.

In my experience weddings come in spates. I often end up attending several within a few months of eachother, often within the same social circle, but I've never heard anyone once complain that it was bad form.

tinkerbell

This is ridiculous, it's so rude, disrespectful and downright ****ty behaviour, if you ask me. When I first read the OP's post, the first thing that came into my head was that "2 weeks before probably means the BIL won't be back from honeymoon to attend the OP's wedding". Sure enough, scroll down a few posts and the OP says that the BIL might not be back in time!

I mean in fairness - it sounds to me like they are completely trying to upstage you. Going 2 weeks before you is so rude, and then saying they have a much bigger budget than you as well. Personally, I would not want someone like that at my wedding because they see the whole thing as a competition and it is not.

And it is so disrespectful to guests as well ... two family weddings in the space of a fortnight, that's crazy, the expense of it all in such a short space of time. I just wouldn't invite your BIL and future idiot SIL to your wedding coz they sound like attention-seeking arseholes tbh.

cinderella2010

Confused perhaps you are missing the point
there is an enormous difference between a friends wedding and a siblings wedding!!!!!! How can you even compare the two...honestly

Think of all the elderly people and the financial pressure and the travelling


It is not ok what happened....I feel for you Newbie Bride

Grawns

Furious for you. I would expect your h2b to stand up for you and your feelings as it's obviously upsetting you. Forget them disrespecting him they are making a mug out of you.

You can't ignore this - have it out.

ps. Make sure you send out save the date cards a million years before them at the least.

KarenR1981

How could anybody think that booking weddings within a few months of eachother is OK

You only do it once and the least they could do is let you have your special day without this stress and for themselves

They will have no luck for it - none

Karma is a bitch

WaltKowalski

It is bad form - to very obviously put pressure on half the guests to attend two family weddings in such close proximity. It just seems silly to me.
Was your date publicised? Do people know that your date was set first?
It's the guests that I feel should have a problem with the concurrent outlays though - not you.
As another poster wrote - I'm surprised your fiance's parents haven't raised an issue over it.

LegacyUser

um. has the op actually sat down and spoke to the other couple and had a rational disussion about why they set the date for when they did? rationality is the key here, and the op's level of hysteria isn't coming across as rational at the moment.

it's sad but it's true that no one in the world will give half as much of a f**k about your wedding as you do, so if you get all hett up about what your perceive as a slight on your ''special day'' then it's only really going to eat you up, if you let it.

people do things for different reasons, until you wave the olive branch at them and find out their reasons i don't think you have any right to let it fester inside you. be the bigger person.

at the end of the day it's a wedding. it's one day of your life. it's not like his brother shot your dog and burnt your house down!!

tinkerbell

whatsthebigdeal wrote: »

um. has the op actually sat down and spoke to the other couple and had a rational disussion about why they set the date for when they did? rationality is the key here, and the op's level of hysteria isn't coming across as rational at the moment.

She shouldn't have to, the BIL and his wife to be are not being "rational". They are being highly rude and selfish in doing this. And they know full well what they are doing - it is common sense not to go arranging a wedding knowning that his brother is already getting married on a particular date. So they are either (a) completely selfish and self-centered or (b) incredibly thick. And I don't think anybody is that thick to think it is ok to announce a second family wedding 2 weeks before somebody else's.

LegacyUser

i'm not sure why you're being so inflammatory here, having a rational conversation with someone who you have an issue with is simply a mature and responsible course of action in any situation like this. take a deep breath, politely explain to them your feelings, and see what they say? be the bigger person.

the op has up to now been listening to third hand information and speculation from other friends and family members, and posting here. all i'm saying is that no one can know what goes on in the minds and relationships of others, so if the op really wants to resolve this issue, (and let's face it or not his brother and his wife will be a part of their family forever, while a wedding is just one day), then maybe she and her fiancee should sit down with the brother and his fiancee and have a rational conversation. maybe the other couple genuinely don't know that this is upsetting them both so much.

in summing up i suppose what i mean is why not have the conversation with the people who can resolve it, instead of coming on here and looking for confirmation and validation for your aggrevience, which may make you more hett up and then the whole situation gets worse. be the bigger person, diffuse all the hurt and anger. if the op and her fiancee don't rise to the bait then they'll be seen in years to come as the better people not to have thrown a hissy fit. rational, mature, polite is the way to go.

Taltos

I am going to approach this on a slightly different tack.

So they announced at your announcement that they are also engaged and that all is booked. Remembering my own wedding all of these arrangements take a hell of a lot of time and organization...
Is there any chance that they had made plans either just before you - same time - or right after....

i.e. maybe you are reading too much into this and making a mountain out of a molehill?
I suggest trying to build on the brothers relationship - at the end of the day as special as your day is for you - theirs is for them too...

However - incidences like this really do put strain on relationships. If you know you will never be able to move beyond this then and here is my different tack - maybe you need to rethink your wedding plans...
Once married - this other couple will be in your life for good - until at least one of the marriages fail or the next issue - who knows - childbirth....

Some folk are just unconsciously selfish - you know what I mean - always competing at some level...
> house move
> marriage
> new car
> baby

If you are not able to deal with a relationship like this then please rethink it. Also as you said the two brothers are very close - do you really want to be the one to set them against each other? Sometimes you have to be the bigger person - laugh at the antics of your relations and just get on with your own plans. So what if they are getting married - surely what is important here is that you and your OH are getting married - and regardless of who else is there the only two important people are you and the groom......

iguana

trio wrote: »

OP, I do think that it's a bit cheeky to expect the same family members to take time off work/fork out/travel etc. twice within two weeks.

Just to play devils advocate on this point. If the brothers have close relatives in more distant parts of the world having the weddings further apart would result in them having to choose either or. People living in Asia, the Americas, the Antipodes or Africa would be unlikely to be able to afford two trips in the same year. 3 months to a year, or even up to 18 months apart, would just be too close together with regards to finances.

By having the weddings two weeks apart it means those relatives could make both wedding on one two week trip. Arriving for the first wedding, having time to do holiday stuff and then going to the last wedding before heading home. The two weeks in between could be a big celebratory time for everyone. If there are any close relatives/mutual friends far abroad that may be exactly why the brother has chosen to have his wedding so close.

If there is no-one that far away that's different and for anyone having to travel across the country or from the UK or nearby Europe it'll be a complete and total PITA.

The brother being on honeymoon for the OP's wedding is a different matter. That's selfish and unless there have already been tensions between both couples I can't understand what would make him do something which really is a big snub.

LittleBook

iguana wrote: »

Just to play devils advocate on this point. If the brothers have close relatives in more distant parts of the world having the weddings further apart would result in them having to choose either or. People living in Asia, the Americas, the Antipodes or Africa would be unlikely to be able to afford two trips in the same year. 3 months to a year, or even up to 18 months apart, would just be too close together with regards to finances.

By having the weddings two weeks apart it means those relatives could make both wedding on one two week trip. Arriving for the first wedding, having time to do holiday stuff and then going to the last wedding before heading home. The two weeks in between could be a big celebratory time for everyone. If there are any close relatives/mutual friends far abroad that may be exactly why the brother has chosen to have his wedding so close.

That's a very good point. Although I don't get the impression there was that level of co-ordination here unfortunately.

Butterflylove

LittleBook wrote: »

That's a very good point. Although I don't get the impression there was that level of co-ordination here unfortunately.

I agree surely the BIL would have spoken up saying this if it was the case? Clearly to make sure they were all on the same page?

I honestly have no idea why they would not come to you and say Im sorry about dates been so close and give reasons ; only date we could get, thought it would be easier for relatives etc?

From what I understand from OP they planned and booked the wedding then announced they were engaged and had everything booked when OP would have organised her date etc in advance of this? Now I maybe wrong on the last part but it does sound odd to me that everything was booked and paid for before announcing their engagement?
I know there can be a rush to book etc even more so if your planning only a couple of months in advance but surely the family would have been first to know etc and they booked everything then told the family??

LegacyUser

hey just to clarify

We got engaged in March and booked our wedding the following week and let everyone know.

Now considering they have only been dating for 6/7 months its highly unlikely they were organising a wedding back in March.

They announced in August that that they were engaged and told everyone their wedding date and explained that they booked it all during the week.

The conversation went like this
"Hey Bro me and * are engaged and its all booked for date in Feb, sorry about them being close together but its the only available date until following Oct and * only wants to get married in this particular hotel and we dont want to wait until then, also would you be my best man"

OH was shocked and said nothing - he said he felt like it was some weird dream

I suspected they were fibbing about that date being the only date so I called the hotel and low and behold there were dates available in Jan, April and May

Butterflylove

OP how old is your BIL &SIL?

Now im all for true love and when you know you know who the one is but only together for a year and rushing into a wedding seems abit too much for me?

Even more so why pick something before your wedding ?
So they get married first?

tinkerbell

Newbie Bride2Be wrote: »

I suspected they were fibbing about that date being the only date so I called the hotel and low and behold there were dates available in Jan, April and May

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Your BIL and his missus are just unbelievable, this is so ignorant, selfish and rude. They are only dating a few months too - I mean this is ridiculous. They definitely picked that date to interfere with you and your fiancé's wedding.

I hope your fiancé told his bro where he could go stick his best-man comment, why should he be his best man when his brother and his fiancée are trying to mess up your day on purpose?

LittleBook

Newbie Bride2Be wrote: »

"Hey Bro me and * are engaged and its all booked for date in Feb, sorry about them being close together but its the only available date until following Oct and * only wants to get married in this particular hotel and we dont want to wait until then, also would you be my best man"

Curioser and curioser ... he won't be able to make it to his own brother's wedding but he expects his brother to be his best man?! Seriously something wrong with these guys.

Newbie Bride2Be wrote: »

they have only been dating for 6/7 months ... They announced in August that that they were engaged and told everyone their wedding date and explained that they booked it all during the week.

I suspected they were fibbing about that date being the only date so I called the hotel and low and behold there were dates available in Jan, April and May

They'll be separated by the time you have your wedding.

Taltos

Agree with /\/\/\/\/\

After 6 or 7 mts... Think you will be attending the annulment when you get back from your honeymoon....

KarenR1981

I think its disgusting behavior

There is no excuse - none what so ever

I am so angry and I dont even know them - I feel like shaking them and saying what are you thinking and what makes ye so flocking special that you can treat your family members like that

Taltos

KarenR1981 wrote: »

I think its disgusting behavior

There is no excuse - none what so ever

I am so angry and I dont even know them - I feel like shaking them and saying what are you thinking and what makes ye so flocking special that you can treat your family members like that

I get what you are saying - but some families are just strange.
By giving into feelings like that you just give them the power/attention they crave - even unknowingly.

Far better to show that their little games are just not your thing...

username123

I dont really see why its a big deal. Forget about them, dont be worrying about expenses for guests, just worry about yourself and himself and enjoy your wedding.