Do all women talk

LegacyUser · 22-08-2010 11:28pm #1

I suppose this isn't really a problem but it is annoying me. I know women in general talk to each other about everything when it comes to relationships but is there a point where this is going to far.

I realise some people here may say I am over sensitive but my gf tell her friends everything about our sex life! I mean there has been no negative in these conversations for me as I come out great (apparently) but I feel it is between my gf and I how good I am in bed, what we get up to or how well endowed I am..... I mean I don't talk to my mates about her in this way and my mates don't speak about their OH in that way either...... I am not a prude but I tnink some things are not for sharing and are more intimate/special as it is between my gf and I.

I have asked my gf to tone it down but she completely ignores me on this. When we are out with her friend they keeps making jokes (when they are drunk) and one of them even put the moves on me when my gf was gone to the bar.....

Toots · 23-08-2010 1:09am

Speaking as a girl, I'd share things about my relationship with my friends. However, there are certainly a lot of things that I'd keep private, and intimate details of our sex life are definitely not something that I'd be discussing with them. Frankly, I'd be appalled, not to mention very hurt, if I discovered my OH was telling his friends all the gory details of our relationship. I have a couple of friends who are very open about their sex lives, and while I am by no means a prude, I find myself a little uncomfortable listening to them talk about it, mostly because I'd also know their OHs. Their partners seem to be OK with them talking about this, so I suppose once they're happy that's fine.

What would concern me most about your post is that your GF continues to discuss this with her friends despite the fact that you've asked her not to. That shows a serious lack of respect, in my view. You need to sit her down and have a serious talk about this and how it makes you feel. If it were me in your shoes, and she kept it up after your talk, I'd be seriously considering ending things with her.

Ickle Magoo · 23-08-2010 9:06am

My friends and I would occasionally have a "nudge, nudge, wink, wink" type laugh about sex in general but there is no way I would discuss in any details what, when or how we do things in bed so no, not ALL women talk.

I think you have to do more than ask her to tone it down. Tell her it's really embarrassing and annoying you and you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who ignores you when you ask them not to divulge personal information about you. If you clearly draw the boundary and she crosses it then I think you have re-evaluate whether you want to be in a relationship with someone who can't even respect such a basic request. Give her a chance to understand the seriousness of the situation and that you want your private lives kept private and see if she can stop gossiping.

Best of luck

Dudess · 23-08-2010 11:01am

The issue isn't whether "all" women do this or not (and no, all women don't - silly question tbh) it's the fact that your girlfriend is being disrespectful and inconsiderate. Straightforward really: tell her it's unacceptable. And prudish or not prudish has nothing to do with that. This is private, intimate stuff, not for public consumption unless both of you would like that.

KarenR1981 · 23-08-2010 11:01am

YES they do

Dudess · 23-08-2010 11:18am

KarenR1981 wrote: »

YES they do

Just because you do, doesn't mean all women do.

Walls · 23-08-2010 11:22am

Frankly, not at all. And you should feel happy to ask that some things are kept private.

John Mason · 23-08-2010 11:26am

KarenR1981 wrote: »

YES they do

NO, they dont.

i might talk about sex generally with my gf's but not about private intimate details.

general stuff but no way would we be talking about details

You need to have a strong chat with your gf, i would not be happy if my bf was talking like that bout me - it is so disrespectful :mad:

How Strange · 23-08-2010 11:27am

IMO a couples sex life is private and it shouldn't be discussed among friends. How would your gf feel if you discussed her performance, assets etc with your friends over a few pints?

It's incredibly immature and disrespectful.

Explain to her again about boundaries and what are and aren't acceptable discussion topics for her and her friends.

Neyite · 23-08-2010 12:21pm

ask your girlfriend two things:

would she like it if you told a group of your mates a blow-by-blow account of her in bed?
would she be ok sitting in amongst said group of lads and getting slagged off for it?

btw. im a girl, and i think its incredibly immature, disrespectful and inconsiderate to talk about your sex life to your mates down the pub. she should grow up.

SheRa · 23-08-2010 12:53pm

Omg we definitely all don't. I think that part of any relationship should be kept private . Like someone else said its disrespectful, especially after you told her that it bothered you.

carolinespring · 23-08-2010 1:59pm

I would not talk about my sex life with my girl friends. That is just between my husband and I. Yes I do talk about my husband with my friends and they talk about there OHs but not the gory details. The odd time sex will come up but personal details are NEVER talked about and to be honest I dont think they should. I would hate my husband to be talking about our sex life with his friends

boarduser1980 · 23-08-2010 2:14pm

im not speaking for ALL girls. but in general, single girls will talk about s*x they've had with blokes, and have a laugh and a giggle. but not when your actually in a relationship -this is disrespectful towards your partner. what goes on behind the bedroom door is private.

LighterGuy · 23-08-2010 2:37pm

I think the words "all" and "majority" get confused sometimes

not all women talk. but the majority do. i'd go as far as saying 95% type of majority.

I say alot has to do with age and maturity. A 32yo woman would have alot more sense than a 22yo woman. And the 22yo would have ALOT more sense than an 18yo girl.

Although age and maturity are factors, its also womens nature to do so in the end. You can see two 45yo women blab on and on. Just their nature.

for a guy it can be a bit "whoa..." at times.

Beruthiel · 23-08-2010 3:22pm

KarenR1981 wrote: »

YES they do

Some may. But I have never discussed details about my bloke to anyone.
I think it disrespectful, crass and unfair and frankly, nobody elses business.

OP
If you have asked your g/f to keep your personal details to herself and she has ignored you.
Dump her ass and tell her why. Clearly she does not respect you.

thesituation51 · 23-08-2010 3:32pm

No way in hell do they all talk about. I would say maybe half do. out of all the girls I know well enough to talk to about their relationships, and it's a fair number, I know ONE who overshares! So no, shes totally wrong and not respecting you. tell her to stop!

LegacyUser · 23-08-2010 3:47pm

Thanx for the advice guys and ladies. I am sorry if I over generalized by saying "all" women talk. I and my gf are both in our mid 20s..... my gf has this whole sex and the city attitude when she is with her friends that I don't really get but apart from that we have a great in our relationship. I am going to talk to her again about this but I don't think she gets it.....

Neyite · 23-08-2010 4:14pm

I have actually stopped being friends with someone who told me something extremely private about her husband to be. the way i saw it, if she does'nt keep his innermost secrets to herself, what on earth is she blabbing about me behind my back?

Sound Bite · 23-08-2010 9:26pm

I do not talk to anyone about intimate details of my relationships - good, bad or indifferent. Most women I know are the same. Its mutual respect, I wouldn't be happy if a partner discussed details with his friends either.

If it was a once-off and she stopped after you explained your unhappiness with it fair enough, but that fact she continues to do so after you've told her your not comfortable with it speaks volumes.

Ask her how would she feel if the show was on the other foot? I'm sure there are some details that she would not be happy if they were to become public knowledge.

Your request is reasonable. Ask her to respect your wishes & if not tell her where to go.....

Toots · 23-08-2010 9:27pm

TipsyMcFlippyFloppy wrote: »

Thanx for the advice guys and ladies. I am sorry if I over generalized by saying "all" women talk. I and my gf are both in our mid 20s..... my gf has this whole sex and the city attitude when she is with her friends that I don't really get but apart from that we have a great in our relationship. I am going to talk to her again about this but I don't think she gets it.....

That program has a lot to answer for!!! Seriously, it's tv not real life. Maybe some women think it's modern and liberating to act like that, but it's hardly repressing her to ask her to button her lip about your private life.

WesternNight · 23-08-2010 11:41pm

I wouldn't dream of discussing details of my sex life with anyone other than the person I'd be having sex with.

Sex and the City has a lot to answer for, to be honest.

WesternNight · 23-08-2010 11:42pm

Toots* wrote: »

That program has a lot to answer for!!! Seriously, it's tv not real life. Maybe some women think it's modern and liberating to act like that, but it's hardly repressing her to ask her to button her lip about your private life.

Oops, I just echoed you! Hadn't spotted that

Dudess · 24-08-2010 12:01am

LighterGuy wrote: »

not all women talk. but the majority do. i'd go as far as saying 95% type of majority.

Where have you got that figure from? I can hazard a guess...

Although age and maturity are factors, its also womens nature to do so in the end. You can see two 45yo women blab on and on. Just their nature.

Seriously, would you like it if someone spouted that stuff about men?

24-08-2010 11:11am

TipsyMcFlippyFloppy wrote: »

...I have asked my gf to tone it down but she completely ignores me on this

What did you say when you asked her to tone it down? If you just made a once-off mumbled remark about how you'd prefer if she didn't go into quite as many details sometimes, then you have to share your part of the blame in allowing it to get this far. Sit her down and explain it to her directly and set out clearly what your problem is. If you don't do that, she is not going to know that there's anything wrong. If she continues to do it after that, then you can look at whether you really want to stay in the relationship.

LighterGuy · 24-08-2010 2:47pm

Dudess wrote: »

Where have you got that figure from? I can hazard a guess...

Seriously, would you like it if someone spouted that stuff about men?

One could say things about guys couldnt they? - i dunno, for example, that the majority of guys can think with their "head" rather than their head? (if you get me) now not all men. but the majority

as a women im sure you can agree with that?

But please dont think i am on the side of "its ok to talk" - hell no. I think certain things should not be shared, But i realise it happens alot because its the nature of certain women. For what does be said, in my experience, seems to vary from woman to woman. But in my experience a girl will always share more with her friends than what a guy would.

Do all women talk

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