Embarrassing things you have done in front of a girl/guy you like

fakearms123

Okay so before I started going out with my girlfriend there was a really embarrassing moment, we were all out drinking one night and at the time I liked her. So we had just left one bar and a group of us were moving on to the next one when I really needed to piss somewhere, I pretended that I needed to go off and make a phone call (i knew there was a toilet in the next bar but i couldnt wait, i was bursting so you gotta go when you gotta go) I went off down a lane pretending to be on the phone, whipped it out (my penis that is) and started pissing when suddenly the group of girls come around the corner calling me, I dont know why i did this but I panicked so I popped my d*ck back in my pants mid stream, flicked out the phone and pretended to end the call. I was still pissing while calling back to them, "hey, cool Ill be there in a second"... (to self) "oh jesus christ you idiot you just soaked your thighs and bell end in urine".

I put my jacket in front of the stain on my pants so that none of the girls or lads would see that I just pissed myself, especially not the girl i liked (now girlfriend haha how that happened ill never know), got to the bar/club and I had felt the piss kind of dry up by then so I said id get up and dance, on the dancefloor one of the girls says "does anyone get that awful smell of piss" I quickly responded "its these smelly pissy teenagers here" and pointed at a group, this was my queue to leave the club slowly and unnoticed. Really embarrassing but no one found out thank god!

Any stories?

LFC5Times

3/10

Einstein

Pissing down a lane aint embarrassing, its just skangery...

NothingMan

On my first ever date when I was 15 I was wearing rediculously baggie trousers and on a nice stroll home through the park hand in hand I kept catching the end on my shoe. By the time we were through the park one leg of my trousers was torn well past my knee and billowing out behind me in the wind.

I first hooked up with my current gf while wearing only a shamrock thong, but that wasn't embarassing, just funny.

flyton5

fakearms123 wrote: »

I put my jacket in front of the stain on my pants so that none of the girls or lads would see that I just pissed myself, especially not the girl i liked (now girlfriend haha how that happened ill never know), got to the bar/club and I had felt the piss kind of dry up by then so I said id get up and dance, on the dancefloor one of the girls says "does anyone get that awful smell of piss" I quickly responded "its these smelly pissy teenagers here" and pointed at a group, this was my queue to leave the club slowly and unnoticed. Really embarrassing but no one found out thank god!

Any stories?

Maybe she has a piss fetish??

mathie

LFC5Times wrote: »

3/10

3/10? As in 9/11?
Terrorism = Embarassing.

Fizman

Einstein wrote: »

Pissing down a lane aint embarrassing, its just skangery...

Did you miss the part where he p1ssed himself? Or the part in the club where a big group of girls were wondering why there was such a bad smell of p1ss?

When I was 16, I met three girls who I was friends with nd fancied like mad outside work when I was in my uniform.. Gorgeous day and I had a nice 99 with a flake in hand happy out. Chattin away when the lump of icecream slides of the cone and my immediate reaction is to try and catch it.. I end up slapping it all over my clothes, face and hair and my hand and sleeve are covered. Had to go back into work to clean it off which led to more slaggin.. Heard bout it for months after.

_feedback_

Einstein wrote: »

Pissing down a lane aint embarrassing, its just skangery...

I think the embarrasing bit was pissing in his pants.

laugh

Puked in her hair, then told her "yer more than just a waitress to me".

Einstein

elviscostello wrote: »

I think the embarrasing bit was pissing in his pants.

Would've been more embarrassing if they'd caught him, I would have enjoyed that story :P

Fizman wrote: »

Did you miss the part where he p1ssed himself? Or the part in the club where a big group of girls were wondering why there was such a bad smell of p1ss?

no, wouldn't have happened if he just went before he left the pub...

Sorry, have an autopilot attached that automatically translates "i went for a piss down the lane" as "I'm a dirtbag"

fakearms123

laugh wrote: »

Puked in her hair, then told her "yer more than just a waitress to me".

gas! My friend was hammered at a bar and threw his arm around this girl he fancied and was staring down her top which was low cut. He said "you have amazin bo-" then puked all over her chest... when she slapped him, he said "never fancied ye anyway ye smelly bitch"

NothingMan

Einstein wrote: »

Sorry, have an autopilot attached that automatically translates "i went for a piss down the lane" as "I'm a dirtbag"

As he said, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. I've left my house or a pub plenty of times feeling confident I was good for the short journey to a club only to face a crippling legs crossed agony 10 minutes in and I can tell you if there was a somewhat private lane where I could pee on a bush and relieve myself, I wouldn't hesitate and if you were bad enough, you wouldn't either.

Einstein

NothingMan wrote: »

As he said, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. I've left my house or a pub plenty of times feeling confident I was good for the short journey to a club only to face a crippling legs crossed agony 10 minutes in and I can tell you if there was a somewhat private lane where I could pee on a bush and relieve myself, I wouldn't hesitate and if you were bad enough, you wouldn't either.

meh, we'll agree to disagree on that one...all this talk makes me wanna take a leak though...

kingtut

Who is next in line to take the piss out of the OP?

Gang of Gin

NothingMan wrote: »

As he said, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. I've left my house or a pub plenty of times feeling confident I was good for the short journey to a club only to face a crippling legs crossed agony 10 minutes in and I can tell you if there was a somewhat private lane where I could pee on a bush and relieve myself, I wouldn't hesitate and if you were bad enough, you wouldn't either.

Yeah, I concur with this. Before the previous poster associates it with real scumbaggery, most people who are in dire need tend to find a place out of sight, whereas the scumbag element is anywhere, anytime they feel like. A friend of mine relayed a story whereby someone was aghast at seeing some scum pissing on their gate or lawn or whatnot and asked them to gtf to which was replied, 'Shut up, or I'll piss in your mouth'. That's more the scumbag element.

Einstein

not tryin to be a moany basta*d, or pull the thread OT, but there aint no reason to piss on the street...if it was 2pm in the afternoon would ye still piss down a laneway?

NothingMan

Einstein wrote: »

not tryin to be a moany basta*d, or pull the thread OT, but there aint no reason to piss on the street...if it was 2pm in the afternoon would ye still piss down a laneway?

If there was absolutely no public or usable private amenities nearby and it was beyond the point of holding it in, then yes.

Banned Account

Einstein wrote: »

not tryin to be a moany basta*d, or pull the thread OT, but there aint no reason to piss on the street...if it was 2pm in the afternoon would ye still piss down a laneway?

For someone who isn't trying, you're actually doing really well - good man!!

Einstein

NothingMan wrote: »

If there was absolutely no public or usable private amenities nearby and it was beyond the point of holding it in, then yes.

Again, agree to disagree, unless you're on a long country walk in the arse of nowhere...legally, businesses, private or not can't refuse you the use of a toilet...

can't find the link but its out there somewhere..

now...back on topic...

starbelgrade

Einstein wrote: »

not tryin to be a moany basta*d, or pull the thread OT, but there aint no reason to piss on the street...if it was 2pm in the afternoon would ye still piss down a laneway?

Einstein - you're talking through your wormhole.

Duggy747

A girl who fancied me had a small party at her house before and everyone was telling me to go.

I go along and the start of the night goes well...............until my nose begins to twitch. Now, my nose only reacts when it's really dusty or there's a cat looming about...............and, of course, there was her scraggy cat wandering around the house.

Cue me sneezing like a motherfùcker, using up all the toilet paper to empty my endless stream of snot while trying to knock back my beer to keep myself look cool and collected.

I was hiding it pretty well in front of her, despite my head feeling like there was more snot than blood in it.

So, anyways we were having a great chat and my reaction to the cat was beginning to go away. Me and her were slowly moving closer together, going in for the kill when.......................my nose just opened the floodgates and 2 streams of snot just flowed down on my mouth and dripped off my chin onto her couch. :eek:

I was fùckin' shocked, but in the rush of cleaning my nose I forgot that the tissue in my pocket was tattered and soaked in goo. The squishy nosies I made as I furiously cleaned my nose and tried to laugh it off.

We still got together that night, though somehow the charm was gone :pac:

Einstein

Fitzcaraldo wrote: »

For someone who isn't trying, you're actually doing really well - good man!!

cheers!

Snowie

god theres a lot of them :pac:

scientific1982

Gone completely red, sweaty and lost my ability to form a coherent sentence.

Fago!

Fell up stairs on our first date!

Naos

Einstein wrote: »

Again, agree to disagree, unless you're on a long country walk in the arse of nowhere...legally, businesses, private or not can't refuse you the use of a toilet...

can't find the link but its out there somewhere..

now...back on topic...

Are you sure about this?

Einstein

Yep...All this "customer only" signage isn't worth the brass its engraved on :P

I might have jumped the gun on private businesses...not sure about office blocks etc...They can still say no and point blank not let you in...but legally it's a different matter...

Only reason I know was my solicitor told me about it when I signed a lease for my business a few years ago...cant for the life of me find the link...

Owwmykneecap

Einstein wrote: »

not tryin to be a moany basta*d, or pull the thread OT, but there aint no reason to piss on the street...if it was 2pm in the afternoon would ye still piss down a laneway?

Have you seen the toilets in pubs and clubs here?
In my old haunt, the bog was so small and packed, you'd save 20 odd minutes by going out side for a piss up the lane.


If a place is going to sell a diuretic inhibition inhibitor by the gallon, they should have proper bogs.






Anyway, back in the heady days of 200x (eh i forget) I managed to pull a girl who was as cute as a button while i was buttoned myself.
You're standard nightclub story, boy meets girl, girl eats the face off the boy. It's going pretty well, a deal of some kind or other is probably going to get closed, but for now enjoy the music and get close on the dancefloor.
Then the double vodkas start really kicking in. the dancing gets more wild more passionate.
The robot, the worm, tango de los muertos.
When suddenly, I hear the music I've been waiting for come on....
This, is it, now is the time, my chance to shine, seal the deal.
The crowd parts, go chico go, go chico go, they exclaim in raptured union, the hands move at lightning speed, my legs carrying me on a backward slide more erotic than the first 2 Emanuelle films.
The crescendo approaches, racked with danger, but I feel unstoppable

♫You can get Delirious..♫, Yes! nailed it. Now for the finish, I am invincible.
♫If You take Life too Serious..♫ I'm setting up for the spin, to win her heart forever, here we go...
♫It's Chico..♫ Noo! my foot's in the wrong position, but I'm already committed...
*spins*
♫TIME!♫ BANG!

My legs sticks forward, I sweep her ankles, she falls. Hard.

When she tries to get up, it's clear she can't walk and has sprained her ankle, the contract is never signed, and our futures have been altered forever.


That night I made a vow to myself, to never do the Chico Time again, with great power comes great responsibility.

YFlyer

laugh wrote: »

Puked in her hair

I did that to a girl in bed. She wasn't impressed. Just turned the pillow upside down and fell asleep. We laughed about it the next day.

Einstein

Owwmykneecap wrote: »

Have you seen the toilets in pubs and clubs here?
In my old haunt, the bog was so small and packed, you'd save 20 odd minutes by going out side for a piss up the lane.

If by "here", you mean Ireland...then yes...

However if you're referring to where you are this minute...that would be a no...

El Guapo!

When I was about 16 I was trying to be as cool as possible while talking to a group of girls but I sneezed and somehow the pressure of the sneeze squeezed out a really loud fart at the same time.
They looked horrified and I just bowed my head in shame and left.

we'llallhavetea_old

rip roaring fanny farts during sex.

punchdrunk

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

rip roaring fanny farts during sex.

suddenly,my chicken Kiev has lost it's appeal...

Einstein

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

rip roaring fanny farts during sex.

sound clips or gtfo...

Black Magician

Prematurely ejaculated once sigh

Jaxxy

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

rip roaring fanny farts during sex.

Nothing you can do but laugh and carry on in those situations.

we'llallhavetea_old

Einstein wrote: »

sound clips or gtfo...

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Nothing you can do but laugh and carry on in those situations.

i posted this before, here's the full story

Can't believe i'm gonna share this but anyway, comedy value and all that. I ended up in bed with this fella i know and things were goin grand, until, we changed position and my vagina turned into a bagpipe. Everytime he thrusted, i emitted this earsplitting fart. Swear te god, nearly died. Thank god it happened with this certain fella because he just fell over laughin with me. Never in my life did i think that such noise could come out of my fanny. I'm now blushing thinkin about it!

Fago!

^^^^
/nelson laugh

dylano_k

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

rip roaring fanny farts during sex.

Was that just to dry your flaps?

HeadPig

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

Can't believe i'm gonna share this but anyway, comedy value and all that. I ended up in bed with this fella i know and things were goin grand, until, we changed position and my vagina turned into a bagpipe. Everytime he thrusted, i emitted this earsplitting fart. Swear te god, nearly died. Thank god it happened with this certain fella because he just fell over laughin with me. Never in my life did i think that such noise could come out of my fanny. I'm now blushing thinkin about it!

You should probably see a vet.

we'llallhavetea_old

HeadPig wrote: »

You should probably see a vet.

after you've lost your virginity, you may one day, witness/experience fanny farts.

HeadPig

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

after you've lost your virginity, you may one day, witness/experience fanny farts.

Lost it long ago, thankfully she forewent the sound effects.

Stink on the inside

Met a girl in a club, and ended up going home with her. During the night I got an urge for a huge Guinness dump after getting jiggy with it.
Bowl blocked up with ****e & tissue paper, what a mess. The bowl overflowed on the second flush trying to dislodge the blockage.
****e all over the place, In my drunken state I legged it while she was asleep. I had to look at her for the next three years in college.
Needles to say she didn't have anything good to say about the whole thing.
If you read this honey, sorry x

desertcircus

Considerably less scatological, but I once managed to fail to understand that when a girl from the other side of the city rings to say she's off to your side of the city to sketch the sunset and do you want to meet up and keep her company, she's not just looking for someone to keep her company.

The Agogo

I was in a past-gf's house one night....doing stuffs etc.

When I got up to leave, I stepped barefoot in cat**** which seemed to cover her entire bedroom floor.

Don't know who should be more embarrassed in this case.

It was ****ing disgusting though.

I hate cats.

And people who like them.

Owwmykneecap

No thumbs up for you.

Star Bingo

yeah i stomped dogsh!t all over this girls plush tallaght palace one time, was heavy cos i was on a microdot so the place looked even more palacial whilst the sh!t looked even grottier

d.anthony

Einstein wrote: »

Yep...All this "customer only" signage isn't worth the brass its engraved on :P

I might have jumped the gun on private businesses...not sure about office blocks etc...They can still say no and point blank not let you in...but legally it's a different matter...

Only reason I know was my solicitor told me about it when I signed a lease for my business a few years ago...cant for the life of me find the link...

In Scotland, it's still law that if you chap someone's door they have to let you in.

The Agogo

Star Bingo wrote: »

yeah i stomped dogsh!t all over this girls plush tallaght palace one time, was heavy cos i was on a microdot so the place looked even more palacial whilst the sh!t looked even grottier

^^I worked here for several years. I hear it's closing down?

/off-top I know

Star Bingo

The Agogo wrote: »

^^I worked here for several years. I hear it's closing down?

/off-top I know

yeah, dunno how soon.. from roller rink to bowling alley to bingo hall to.. typical ourra place modern apartment block w/ spar/ xtravision etc on the ground - lets delay the inevitable.