What's the worst place you've woken up?

Sykk

Probably not as bad as this fella...

Source

Explorer Wakes Up In Jaws Of A Polar Bear:


An explorer has described the moment he was attacked by a polar bear - waking up to find the animal's jaws around his head.

Sebastian Plur Nilssen was attacked last week as he slept in a tent on the Arctic archipelago of Svalbard.
Mr Nilssen was travelling with his expedition partner, Ludvig Fjeld, as they attempted to become the first ever team to paddle 1,250 miles around the island chain.
Despite protecting their tent with a trip-wire hooked to a early warning flare, Mr Nilssen woke face-to-face with the biggest land predator in the world.
The 23-year-old was dragged screaming from the tent, with his head clamped in the animal's jaws.

The polar bear was shot dead after the attack
The adult male bear flung the young explorer's body from side to side in an attempt to stun him, a technique typically used on its usual prey of seals.
The polar bear's teeth pierced Mr Nilssen's lung as it fought for a better grip and narrowly missed a main artery in his neck.
"It was so strong I could not fight, I grabbed for my shotgun and tried to shoot it but [the polar bear] had snapped [the gun] in half," he said.
"It must have been only a minute I was in his jaws but it felt like forever.
"It was a big bear, at one point it stood up on its back legs with me in its mouth, I was 2.5 metres off the ground and it seemed very high."

Mr Nilssen was sleeping in his tent when the polar bear attacked
As the bear made off with Mr Nilssen, his 22-year-old expedition partner scrambled to find their other rifle.
"I was about 20 or 25 metres from the bear and it had Sebastian in its mouth, I was very worried I did not want to hit Sebastian as well," said Mr Fjeld.
"That would have been a really bad day for him.
"When I fired the first shot, the bear dropped him, but I had to fire four more to make sure it was dead.

The bear broke Mr Nilssen's gun that he had hoped to defend himself with
Mr Nilssen was airlifted from the scene, bleeding heavily, and was rushed into an emergency three-hour operation.
But despite his brush with death, Mr Nilssen said he was not angry at the bear, speculating that it carried out its unusual attack on humans because it was hungry.
"I must be one of the only people in the world who can say when people ask me about my scars, 'I got them in a fight with a polar bear'," he said.
Polar bears are protected under strict conservation laws and can only be shot in self defence.

Mr Nilssen said he was not angry with the bear over the attack

I've woken up beside a heffer once or twice, but not a bear! :pac:

Pity they shot the bear though..

Wazdakka

The scariest place I've woken up was in a car.
I was driving across Germany with my brother a few years ago after a seriously long weekend on the lash. He's lived over there for years and I was visiting him for a birthday or something.
I was in a worse state than him so I just crashed out.

I kinda half woke up not really remembering where I was..

But, all of a sudden I was on the drivers side of a strange car (Yup forgot I was even in Germany), at night time, doing about 160Kph down what appeared to be the wrong side of a motorway... and I couldn't find the steering wheel...

Apparently I sat bolt upright, screamed, and nearly put my foot through the floor looking for the pedals.

It only lasted a few seconds but I absolutely shat myself.



In before all of those god damn crappy puns.
I can't bear them

keano_afc

Woke up in Cork a couple of times.

Sykk

Wazdakka wrote: »

In before all of those god damn crappy puns.

I can't bear them

You love them Waz :P

starlit

A kip in a hot room somewhere...don't know where it was...won't mention it! Was up the country somewhere...:p

Worst place I woke up in was A & E and in hospitals. Gives me the heeby geebies thinking about it! urgh!:(

Mint Sauce

Sykk wrote: »

Probably not as bad as this fella...

Source


I've woken up beside a heffer once or twice, but not a bear! :pac:

Pity they shot the bear though..

did the heffer come into your tent as well

prinz

In the back of a strangers car. He wasn't impressed.

K4t

Hospital after being concussed. Woke up not knowing how I got there or what was wrong with me. Completely disorientated. Scary as hell. Hope it never happens again.

I imagine waking up in Roscommon to be worse but only just.

Miguel_Sanchez

Longford.

I think that Cathedral burned itself down last year just to be out of the place finally.

Dermo

Woke up on the floor in a corner of grand central station in new york. Was woken thanks to the boot of a cop.

Mint Sauce

leitrim

SadieSue

Hospital after having my appendix out, I was wrapped up like a mummy in a blanket.:pac:

ordinary_girl

In Omeath in county Louth. I was there for a few days and literally every morning when I woke up I was sad to realise I was still there, and kept hoping when I drew back the curtains that I'd be back in Dublin. Hated every second.

scientific1982

In a puddle in a tent.

starlit

Where ever I had stayed overnight when seagulls cried outside my window!:mad:

kfallon

snuggles285 wrote: »

Where ever I had stayed overnight when seagulls cried outside my window!:mad:

Don't effin' start me on seagulls please...................

bonerm

Bryant Park in New York. I can confirm those cops out there don't like ya using a park bench for a bed.

Rabies

I woke up outside a supposedly 24 hour bar that was closed. Was on holiday in greece. After an all day and night bender I slept at the front door waiting for them to open so I could keep on going.
Woke up a few hours later with the hot greek sun waking my hangover up

Dermo

kfallon wrote: »

Don't effin' start me on seagulls please...................

go on...

kfallon

Dermo wrote: »

go on...

Nothing sinister but they've been waking me up at 5am every morn for the last two weeks, screeching fookers!

starlit

In an un-air-conditioned room!

Mint Sauce

snuggles285 wrote: »

In an un-air-conditioned room!

with seaguls crying outside your window?

NothingMan

irish-stew wrote: »

leitrim

Nice try Stew, but we all know Leitrim doesn't exist!


Hmmm, Front step of a really shítty hostel in Vienna or the middle of a field in Tallaght, alone.

Obviously hammered both times.

My mate woke up in his car parked on Dame street. He had originally parked in Stephens Green and doesn't remember moving it. That shít's scary.

SuperGrover

In the wetness in the bottom of a rowboat off the pier in Rush.

I was all soggy down one side and had a half hour walk in the dead of night to get back to where I was staying.

cson

The heathers outside the front of the house with the oul fella standing over me shaking his head. They were strangely comfy those heathers.

Moyross too; but we won't mention any more anout that. :eek:

Mint Sauce

NothingMan wrote: »

Nice try Stew, but we all know Leitrim doesn't exist!

Hmmm, Front step of a really shítty hostel in Vienna or the middle of a field in Tallaght, alone.

Obviously hammered both times.

My mate woke up in his car parked on Dame street. He had originally parked in Stephens Green and doesn't remember moving it. That shít's scary.

that explains the problems i had trying to get out of the place

spudd

woke up in a nightclub bathroom a few hours after it had closed, was fairly disorientated walking around the place trying to work out where all the people was gone and why the music and lights were off

Fringe

At a party, after a heavy night of drinking, I blacked out and then found myself on the toilet taking a ****. I somehow went into automatic during everything and I only realised what happened when I started washing my hands. Left the toilet and everyone in the house was asleep so went back to sleep myself.

mikemac

Out one night drunk. It was pouring rain, the kind we see just a few times a year.

My office was nearby so I got the bright idea I'd go in there to my desk and sleep. Under my desk even, it was the weekend so I wouldn't be disturbed.

Security guy kicked my drunken ass out of the building, he was right too, I've no complaints.

A few weeks later somebody else did the same and was found asleep under their desk. They got sacked. :eek:
Very harsh imo, I didn't think it was a sackable offence.
That could have be me getting sacked, phew!

sam34

in bed with my boss

u140acro3xs7dm

Woke up once face down in wet grass, managed to get up onto all fours then realising i was in my friends parents front garden. As i was was crawling over the wall to go home there where plenty of people off to mass including my mothers friends. If looks could kill. Dont think she ever found out.

babyfratelli_x

In a cell at the garda station.... ooops

BoardsMember

Wazdakka wrote: »

The scariest place I've woken up was in a car.
I was driving across Germany with my brother a few years ago after a seriously long weekend on the lash. He's lived over there for years and I was visiting him for a birthday or something.
I was in a worse state than him so I just crashed out.

I kinda half woke up not really remembering where I was..

But, all of a sudden I was on the drivers side of a strange car (Yup forgot I was even in Germany), at night time, doing about 160Kph down what appeared to be the wrong side of a motorway... and I couldn't find the steering wheel...

Apparently I sat bolt upright, screamed, and nearly put my foot through the floor looking for the pedals.

It only lasted a few seconds but I absolutely shat myself.



In before all of those god damn crappy puns.
I can't bear them

That's brilliant, nearly wet myself laughing

R1221

in a lake, had the flu for a week:(

clarke1991

on the coutch in an appartment belonging to a bunch of long haired hippies listening to a 'best of the eighties' cd!

mink_man

yore..yore..no, no I can't, whoever brought that saying back into boards should be banned.

it's just terrible, and it's not even spelled correctly!

dr.bollocko

And it's already been deleted mink man.
Twice.

Rothmans

sam34 wrote: »

in bed with my boss

Was there a big juicy pay raise in it though?

Jaxxy

On a bus. Back at the depot.

A V A

woke up in one of those massive massive fridges, where were the shelfs??? but had a blew up swimming ring around my man chest and had high heels on :rolleyes:

fonecrusher1

About 8 years ago i woke up in the spare bedroom of a friends flat after a night on the booze. He'd only just moved in so i'd never been in the place before. Whats so bad about that? you bleat?

Well first of all the room had no windows & secondly my sneaky mate put a towel along the bottom of the door & covered it with a full length curtain to block any source of light so that i would wake up in complete & utter darkness. Oh & he locked the door....bad move.

It was a freaky enough experience. Took me quite some time to figure out where i was & how to get out of my pitch black surroundings. Twas like a giant coffin. It all turned a bit disasterous for smart arse because as soon as i found the door handle & realised it was locked i panicked & tried kicking the door in but only managed to make a large hole in the wall next to the doorframe which wrecked the whole prank for him. Twas his own fault because he knows im claustrophobic & generally flip out in confined spaces.:)

Sneaky cnut.:mad::D

Yakult

Heaven.. Was a right hell hole so never again.

starlit

With a bee in my bonet!

InTheTrees

Wazdakka wrote: »

But, all of a sudden I was on the drivers side of a strange car (Yup forgot I was even in Germany), at night time, doing about 160Kph down what appeared to be the wrong side of a motorway... and I couldn't find the steering wheel...

ha ha ha!

:pac:

annie87

Was extremely plastered and stoned at a friends house party, went to bed(downstairs, in a bed)at some hour. Woke up i don't know how many hours later, in the upstairs bathroom. In the bath. Naked except for a handtowel that didn't cover much. And the bathroom door was open. Cue me, foggily trying to make my way back downstairs, to the room my boyf and I were staying in, without anybody seeing me in the nip.

I deduce that when I went to bed, I must have needed to go to the toilet, and managed to naked sleepwalk my way upstairs to the bathroom, instead of undergoing the embarrassment of peeing in the bed. Then I must have lay down in the bath, thinking it was the bed and thought the towel was a blanket.

That was the first time in my life I ever sleep walked and have only done it once since. To make matters worse, my friends house is a B&B, and there were guests staying in the area of the house with the bathroom. To my knowledge none of them saw me. One of my boyf's friends saw me, but since he was as plastered as me thought it was one of the other girls. I didn't contradict him. She was very confused, when he told her he saw her.;)

A V A

R_H_C_P wrote: »

Heaven.. Was a right hell hole so never again.

heaven blanchardstown ??

A V A

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

About 8 years ago i woke up in the spare bedroom of a friends flat after a night on the booze. He'd only just moved in so i'd never been in the place before. Whats so bad about that? you bleat?

Well first of all the room had no windows & secondly my sneaky mate put a towel along the bottom of the door & covered it with a full length curtain to block any source of light so that i would wake up in complete & utter darkness. Oh & he locked the door....bad move.

It was a freaky enough experience. Took me quite some time to figure out where i was & how to get out of my pitch black surroundings. Twas like a giant coffin. It all turned a bit disasterous for smart arse because as soon as i found the door handle & realised it was locked i panicked & tried kicking the door in but only managed to make a large hole in the wall next to the doorframe which wrecked the whole prank for him. Twas his own fault because he knows im claustrophobic & generally flip out in confined spaces.:)

Sneaky cnut.:mad::D

what was he like , he ask you to pay for it ???

hmm i wouldnt , sounded like you took it like a hero , if that was me i would have died

mojesius

After a few beverages, I'm prone to a spot of sleepwalking. Terrifying when you wake up and don't have a clue where you are, after weaving safely to bed the night before.

Various places I've woken up (or have been awoken) include:
-at a friend's front door with her Dad about to smash a lamp over my head (I was sleepwalking out of the house, set the alarm off, her Dad thought I was a burglar)
-in a bath without water, pouring radox all over myself while fully clothed (apparently, I was also singing)
-lying soaked halfway out of a shower with a black eye and banged up knee with the shower running
-on the doorstep of an Arts centre across the road from me in London

Don't drink and sleep people. Thankfully, it's been 6 months since my last sleepwalk.

Gummy Panda

On the ground beside a road after being knocked down in a hit and run

Snowie

cellophaned to a bed I couldn't move :pac:

in the back of a mini bus in a kayak

In some sand dunes with my trousers around my ankles and sheep every where. there was a girl but she ninja'd off

On the floor of my sitting room... in a pool full of vomit.

In the back of a mates car freazin g with mt bros gf tapping on the window :pac:
Under a couch

pappyodaniel

Bollick naked sitting on a curb around the corner from a nightclub in Tenerife. I think I went skinny dipping on a private beach and got chased off it by a guard. It's a bit hazy