Best GAA Sayings/One Liners

cson

Cyril Farrell;

[On Tony Browne] "He put his head where no man would put a shovel"

[Frequently] "Game on now Ger!"

[Galway's Sylvie Linnane in reponse to Tipp's Nicky English enquiring as to how much time they had left in the 1988 Final after he'd missed a penalty] "Ye have 12 months now"

There was one in the Irish Independent that cracked me up as well; Martin Brehony I think, talking about how the farther away you keep the fox from the henhouse door the safer the coop in relation to Galway playing Joe Canning all over the shop in the Leinster Final.

UpTheSlashers

Theres about a million Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh ones but this is my favourite: "Teddy McCarthy to John McCarthy, no relation, John McCarthy back to Teddy McCarthy, still no relation."

pakalasa

"... well, it's not looking too good at the moment". - Joes Hayes, Tipperary.
His reply to a rousing "Right lads, are we going to win" speech at half-time.
Don't know the opponents, but they were being well beaten at the time.

Naomh

UpTheSlashers wrote: »

Theres about a million Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh ones but this is my favourite: "Teddy McCarthy to John McCarthy, no relation, John McCarthy back to Teddy McCarthy, still no relation."

Yeah, Micheal has had a few beauties alright.
Another one went along the lines of "Joe Rabbitte runs after Pat Fox who has the ball, thats the first time I've ever seen a rabbit chase a fox".....magic

pd101

Naomh wrote: »

Yeah, Micheal has had a few beauties alright.

My favourite one,

"His Fathers from Fermanagh and his mothers from Fiji, neither is a hurling stronghold."

monkeypants

Coach to team, commenting on our lack of robustness - "Sure you're only chocolate men!"

deisedevil

"Probably, definetly the greatest day in Aherlow GAA circumstances"

Some lad being interviewed by Effin Eddie Moroney. Classic!

An Citeog

Ger Loughnane before the Leinster hurling final this year talking about what would happen if you tried to put it up physically to the Kilkenny full back line,

"They'll eat you without salt."

Another Loughnane (afaik) classic when he was manager of Clare after they'd taken a hammering. After berating the entire team, he turned to one of the subs and said,

"You're not even good enough to play for this shower of useless no-hopers!"

salutations

pd101 wrote: »

My favourite one,

"His Fathers from Fermanagh and his mothers from Fiji, neither is a hurling stronghold."

Definitely this one!!

UpTheSlashers

Tipperary fans will know all about Paddy Finuchane on Tipp FM
Often something along these lines...
Paddy: and the puckout is won by shane mcgrath
Other Commentator: Thats brendan maher
Paddy: and Maher hands it off to Ryan
Other: Callanan
Paddy: Callanan wins a free
Other: Actually its a free to wexford for overcarrying...

Browney7

Kerry V Limerick in a Munster minor football semi final a few years ago. Limerick fullback was fouling the Kerry full forward (think it was Tommy Walsh) and an auld fella beside me roars out: "Give him a saddle ref he's f**kin riding him!!".

GAA Phrasebook that most people have probably see before but anyway

Mighty :- Very good

Hames bad shot, e.g. “He made a hames of that chance”

Timber: - Intimidation of a hurling opponent, e.g. “Show him some timber”

Lamp :- A good thump, e.g. “I swung for the sliotar, missed by 3 feet and lamped the full back”

A Crowd :- A gathering of people who watch a match and hope for random acts of violence, e.g. Waterford supporters

Schkelp: - To remove living tissue in the absence of surgical procedures, e.g. “That ****e from Tipp took a schkelp outta me leg”

Hatchet Man :- Mountainy type, uses hunter/gatherer instincts

Bullin’: - Angry, e.g. “The centre half was bullin’ after I lamped him”

Bull Thick: - Very angry, e.g. “The centre half was bull thick after I lamped him again”

Joult: - A push, e.g. “I gave him a joult and he has to wear a neck brace for 2 weeks”

The Comm-A-Teee: - Local GAA bull****ters in general

Bushted :- An undefined soreness, e.g. “Jayz me arm is bushted”

The Bomber :- Popular name for a fat hairy GAA player

A Hang Sangwidge :- Consumed with “tay” on the sides of roads after matches in Pairc Ui Chaoimh or Thurles, usually contains half a pound of butter

Rake: - A great amount of anything, usually pints of Guinness the night before an important match

Indanamajaysus (in-da-nama-Jaysus): - What was that for referee?

Ya Bollix Ya :- Corner back’s formal recognition of a score by his opponent

Leh-It-In-Ta-****-Wud-Ya :- Full forwards appeal to a midfielder for a more timely delivery of the pass

Mullocker: - Untidy or awkward player released for matches

Burst The Bollix :- Instructions from the sideline to tackle your man

Row :- Disagreement involving four or more players

Shamozzle: - Disagreement involving both teams, including goalies, substitutes and supporters jumping fences

All-Hell-Broke-Loose :- A massive row that continues out in the parking area or dressing room areas, usually resolved by the Gardai

'ho ho':- this is a comment used, usually when some rough vulgar play is taking place

whale:- "whale him"-this again is used as a replacement for disposses him or tackle him.

ware timber:-this means to hit or strike another player with the hurl

shove it into him!:-normally a reference from the sideline to encourage a player to fight with another player

on the beer:_ this is an excuse used by a junior b player who decides not to turn up for a match

whip, pull, lash, flake:- all meaning to move the ball on the ground

popebenny16

loughnane on being secretive regarding the tatics and lineout he would use against tipp "if i had my way i wouldnt even tell them where the match was"

jack presley

Not really a saying as such but something commentators do a lot and it bugs me a bit (I know I'm pathetic!). Marty Morrissey's probably the worst culprit. So can someone tell him that the sides are level at the start of the match too?

So when teams for example score alternative points until it gets to 0-6 each, that it's not true to say "the sides are level for the 6th time". It's the 7th!

deisedevil

jack presley wrote: »

Not really a saying as such but something commentators do a lot and it bugs me a bit (I know I'm pathetic!). Marty Morrissey's probably the worst culprit. So can someone tell him that the sides are level at the start of the match too?

So when teams for example score alternative points until it gets to 0-6 each, that it's not true to say "the sides are level for the 6th time". It's the 7th!

There's already a thread where ya can have a good whinge about commentators.

justshane

'take yer points an yer goals will come' or 'If in doubt take em out' My two favourites

flahavaj

A couple of years ago when Tyrone forward Eoin Mulligan was lookin particularly roundy I was at a game where he dropped an easy catch. From behind me roars a broad Norhern accent:

"If 'twas a bag of chips you would've caught it!"

:pac:

Diabhal Beag

Dan the Man Shanahan on Donal Og Cusak's dubious save years ago against Waterford:

"He covered it with his fat arse"

cson

Richie Bennis telling Stephen Lucey that to make it as a full back 'you've to pull like a tinker'

derealbadger

kick ahead any head

darragh16

It was one of TV3's terrible commentators in the Meath Dublin match this year:

"... Now Meath's goal went in between the posts.."

Idiots!

teednab-el

I cant remember the name of the commentator but hes on RTE quite often. Limerick were playing Tipperary a few years back in the hurling (2007 I think). Tipperary were launching a final attack from play and a big group of Limerick supporters ran out onto the pitch 1-2 minutes before the final whistle had blown. When this happened, the commentator responded

"There was just no way Tipperary were getting past that Limerick defence"

Priceless!

UpTheSlashers

The best ones are from local gaa, matches and trainin. I heard a brilliant one today but it's not funny out of context. The sport is full of hilarious characters at local level nationwide though

Gerard.C

Best local one I heard was something along the lines of

"Mark your man, follow him everywhere he goes, if he goes for a piss you hold it for him!"

KingLoser

Not really a saying or a one-liner, but "Plan B" gets me everytime. :pac:

dxhound2005

Nice Tipperary one.


Workmates console Eddie Tucker after Tipp are demolished by Clare and he’s had a bad day: ’don’t worry about it Eddie, it wasn’t your fault, ’twas the feckin eejits that picked ya.’

Cool Running

Ya gotta love this one from Mícheál

"He grabs the sliotar, he's on the 50......he's on the 40......he's on the 30....... he's on the ground."

pakalasa

Ger Loughnane on JJ Delaney
......"He'd catch swallows flying out of a Haggard"

deisedevil

pakalasa wrote: »

Ger Loughnane on JJ Delaney
......"He'd catch swallows flying out of a Haggard"

LOL!

Gotta love Ger. Great pundit!

teednab-el

Funny one also from Michael O M. when a streaker ran out onto the field and the stewards were trying to catch him. Michael made an open commentary on the whole event. Brillant

Mackman

deisedevil wrote: »

"Probably, definetly the greatest day in Aherlow GAA circumstances"

Some lad being interviewed by Effin Eddie Moroney. Classic!

AFAIR, that was from a video of a local minor hurling semi-final. The guy was pissed and was videoing it himself and commentating. its comedy gold. i used to have a recording of some of it, no idea where t'is now though

ColeTrain

Tog out your picked

jimbo32123

moments before an u16 county div 1 final manager says

'corner backs tight **** to a blanket tight hit him hit him fu*kin hard but fair and if that doesnt work hit again this time harder and not fair make the forwards life hell nip him squeeze him, pull his todger rub his bum lads ye men now time to take wats yours do it for the club do it for yourselfs and most of ll do it for your parents'!!!!! his two sons were the corner backs!!!!

pakalasa

Here it is lads, the commentary from 'Effin Eddie' in Tipp.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOS-XQ0oZYM&feature=related


...only in Ireland, Lads.

Green Giant

A friend of mine giving out about a suspect goalie in a club match:
"He wouldn't stop a cow goin out a gap."

The same fella criticising a minor team for their lack of physicality:
"They've no bit of proper work in em. They should be given a yard and told to go out and dehorn 20 calves!"

Or how about this character of a Junior B manager:
"Lads I've a huge phone bill texting all of ye about this match, so ye better win it!"

deisedevil

Shout at a bad keeper: "You wouldn't stop laughing"

Shout at a bad forward: "You wouldn't finish a good Sunday dinner"

Alorra

I don't think we could have a thread like this and not mention Babs keatings liner of:

"Donkies don't win Derbies"

Clemon

Fieldin' Kickouts and Givin' Lickouts

teednab-el

I hate when commentators say this one:

" No team lost this game..Football/Hurling was the winner"

It drives me mad when I hear this.

Fandango

deisedevil wrote: »

"Probably, definetly the greatest day in Aherlow GAA circumstances"

Some lad being interviewed by Effin Eddie Moroney. Classic!

Ah, Effin Eddie! What a legend!

TwilightFan88

Am I the only one that loves when the likes of Ger Loughnanne and Cyril 'F*****G' Farrel have to eat their words??

Like when they say a team hasn't a chance and then said team actually wins!

StupidLikeAFox

TwilightFan88 wrote: »

Am I the only one that loves when the likes of Ger Loughnanne and Cyril 'F*****G' Farrel have to eat their words??

Like when they say a team hasn't a chance and then said team actually wins!

Pat Spillane at half time in the 2000 Leinster final slated the lillies, who were 6 points down at half time
"My granny would kick more pints and move faster than the Kildare forwards"
"The sheep in Connemara know Kildare can't score"

Cue two goals in the first 5 mins of the second half, and kildare going on to win
Pat: "I would just like to congratulate my mentor Mick O'Dwyer on what he has done with this team"

derealbadger

ColHol wrote: »

Pat Spillane at half time in the 2000 Leinster final slated the lillies, who were 6 points down at half time
"My granny would kick more pints and move faster than the Kildare forwards"
"The sheep in Connemara know Kildare can't score"

Cue two goals in the first 5 mins of the second half, and kildare going on to win
Pat: "I would just like to congratulate my mentor Mick O'Dwyer on what he has done with this team"

Ye but the Connemara sheep still got their own back in the A.I semi

Benny Cake

Not a one-liner as such, more a good anecdote...

I met Pat Spillane in a pub in Dingle and got chatting to him, twas around the time he was in all the trouble for criticising Northern football (puke football and all that). Anyway he said he was getting tonnes of hate-mail every week, mainly from angry Armagh and Tyrone fans. I asked did any of the letters stand out and he said it got one where the address on the envelope was :

Pat Spillane,
Bollix,
Co. Kerry

Classic....

Frankie5Angels

Any truth to the story about an AGM below in Galway where the parish priest, at the end of another barren year, gave a long-winded speech about how proud he was of the club and it's player, silverware or no silverware, and a member stood up and bellowed "thanks for that now father, but that's the sort of sh1te that sickens my hole!"?:pac:

Another one I like is "if it moves, pull on it. If it doesn't move, pull on it 'til it does!".

Ms. Captain M

I love listening to aul lads at matches! "Ya crooked footed hoor", "Yeh banana foot" made me laugh at the weekend.

rpurfield

two constants from me dad first ones when a forward cant win a ball "he wouldnt get a ball in elverys" second one on a bad defender "hes like lester piggott always coming from behind"

teednab-el

"he couldnt hurl the flies off cowsh%te" I heard once at a game.

hilarious

Tommy_Vercetti

I think it was the '03 season when Setanta o hAlpin was playing for Cork, everytime he'd score a goal, sure as anything Cyril Farrell would say something like "Christmas is coming early Ger!"

Diddler82

Drive her like she's stolen - usually aimed towards a full back in either code and it basically says - dont give a f*ck where it goes just get it out of there.

StupidLikeAFox

derealbadger wrote: »

Ye but the Connemara sheep still got their own back in the A.I semi

Too soon.....:(

GymJim

On the Hill a few years ago (maybe 2006 I think) and a scuffle broke out between Jason Sherlock and 2 Laois defenders who had hauled him to ground. Cue roars from all around me. But one stood out above all others..."G'wan Jayo, hit him with yer wok".