So, who'd win in a fight?

MagicMarker

Just curious like...

Tag teams are...

Team 1: Richard Dawkins & Stephen Hawkins (I'd say he could do some damage)

VS

Team 2: God & Jakkass

Whoever invented the internet is rolling in his grave.....

Denerick

God would win instantaneously as if his presence was confirmed in front of Richard Dawkins the universe would automatically implode threatening the integrity of space/time itself.

Biggins

Deleted User wrote: »

Whoever invented the internet is rolling in his grave.....

Sir Tim Berners-Lee might just do so WHEN he gets there! LOL :pac:

Touché Biggins... Touché.

Biggins

Deleted User wrote: »

Touché Biggins... Touché.

Sorry.

minidazzler

Since it's based on a fallacy, Dawkins and Hawkins would kick ass, It's really a Handicap match though, the two of them against Jakkass and an idea.

So, theoretically Team Science would win!

ejmaztec

Richard Dawkins wouldn't show up because he doesn't believe that God or Jakkass exists, and Stephen Hawking wouldn't be able to get in the ring anyway.

Diabhal Beag

Considering one is in a wheelchair it should be a handicap match :pac:

dlofnep

Biggins wrote: »

Sir Tim Berners-Lee might just do so WHEN he gets there! LOL :pac:

Tim Berners Lee didn't invent the internet.

Biggins

dlofnep wrote: »

Tim Berners Lee didn't invent the internet.

The British scientist developed the web in 1989 as an academic tool to allow scientists to share data. Since then it has exploded into every area of life.

Thats a quote from the BBC - link above.
Generally he's looked upon as the modern inventor of it.

See also:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/3357073.stm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/oxford/features/2002/07/berners_lee.shtml

Hedman

Deleted User wrote: »

Whoever invented the internet is rolling in his grave.....

Al Gore?

Uriel.

what's with all the God bashing / God related threads lately.

It's getting fúcking tedious at this stage. I don't give a sh1te what people want to believe in. best of luck to them ffs.:mad:

SeaFields

maybe einstein should be on one of the teams....he'd be good, relatively speaking of course

dlofnep

Biggins wrote: »

Thats a quote from the BBC - link above.
Generally he's looked upon as the modern inventor of it.

See also:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/3357073.stm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/oxford/features/2002/07/berners_lee.shtml

He created the basis for the World-wide Web - He didn't create the internet. The Internet is the underlying framework of interconnected networks. Lee gets way too much credit. Trust me, I've wrote enough essays on the guy to last me a lifetime.

robinph

Thought it was actually some work experience student from Leicester Poly that wrote the code for him?

Biggins

dlofnep wrote: »

He created the basis for the World-wide Web - He didn't create the internet. The Internet is the underlying framework of interconnected networks. Lee gets way too much credit. Trust me, I've wrote enough essays on the guy to last me a lifetime.

Fair enough, I will stand possibly corrected.
I bow to ones better knowledge.

P.S. Surely there was better things to write essays about? Sex toys maybe? LOL

dlofnep

These are the true pioneers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vinton_Cerf

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_E._Kahn

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonard_Kleinrock

It's not to say that TBL didn't contribute to the web as we know it today, his research was very important - but he didn't invent the internet, nor anything even remotely close to it.

MagicMarker

Uriel. wrote: »

what's with all the God bashing / God related threads lately.

It's getting fúcking tedious at this stage. I don't give a sh1te what people want to believe in. best of luck to them ffs.:mad:

WTF are you talking about?

This thread is about fighting.

ejmaztec

God "Oi Dawkins, your blood-spattered broken nose is a figment of your imagination, because I don't exist, you smarmy little sh1t"

Killer Pigeon

SeaFields wrote: »

maybe einstein should be on one of the teams....he'd be good, relatively speaking of course

But he's dead and now nonexistent, just like God. So, in the end the debate would only be between Jakkass and Richard Dawkins, and it would be up to Jakkass to prove that one of his team mates exists.

Biggins

dlofnep wrote: »

These are the true pioneers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vinton_Cerf

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_E._Kahn

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonard_Kleinrock

It's not to say that TBL didn't contribute to the web as we know it today, his research was very important - but he didn't invent the internet, nor anything even remotely close to it.

You might find this interesting then. Internet related:

http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/7201/wwwthetimescoukttotechn.jpg

robinph

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

But he's dead and now nonexistent, just like God. So, in the end the debate would only be between Jakkass and Richard Dawkins, and it would be up to Jakkass to prove that one of his team mates exists.

...before Dawkins team mates battery goes flat.

Biggins

ejmaztec wrote: »

God "Oi Dawkins, your blood-spattered broken nose is a figment of your imagination, because I don't exist, you smarmy little sh1t"

Tom Cruise: Hey God, don't pick on him or I'll hit you with my scientology book which you can buy for the cheap price of 1,500 Euro! The aliens come free!

:pac:

ejmaztec

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

But he's dead and now nonexistent, just like God. So, in the end the debate would only be between Jakkass and Richard Dawkins, and it would be up to Jakkass to prove that one of his team mates exists.

Jakkass will just have to kick the sh1t out of him, because Dawkins won't be told.

Killer Pigeon

robinph wrote: »

...before Dawkins team mates battery goes flat.

... and after, the Dawkins team uses the wonders of science to recharge poor old Hawking's battery while the God team is still praying desperately for its second member to appear in order to prove its existence.

Killer Pigeon

ejmaztec wrote: »

Jakkass will just have to kick the sh1t out of him, because Dawkins won't be told.

Hawkings, after his battery is recharged, will try to explain mind-boggling mathematics to Jakkass but Jakkass won't be able to take it and his brain would explode.

[/fight].

PeterIanStaker

Science flies you to the moon.


Religion flies you into buildings.

Science FTW

ejmaztec

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

Hawkings, after his battery is recharged, will try to explain mind-boggling mathematics to Jakkass but Jakkass won't be able to take it and his brain would explode.

[/fight].

Nah, before Hawking switches on his voice synthesiser, Jakkass will do a flying drop-kick to Hawking's brain-box, thereby nipping any bullsh1t in the bud.

Killer Pigeon

ejmaztec wrote: »

Nah, before Hawking switches on his voice synthesiser, Jakkass will do a flying drop-kick to Hawking's brain-box, thereby nipping any bullsh1t in the bud.

No, Dawkins would take the hit so that Hawking would have time to prepare his powerpoint presentation on Magnetohydrodynamics. A few seconds after the introduction Jakkass' brain would be reduced to mush.

Killer Pigeon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8H1p13GjKOs

ejmaztec

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

No, Dawkins would take the hit so that Hawking would have time to prepare his powerpoint presentation on Magnetohydrodynamics. A few seconds after the introduction Jakkass' brain would be reduced to mush.

I think you missed the bit where Dawkins was in the ambulance on his way to intensive care after Jakkass smashed his nose into his face.

Biggins

ejmaztec wrote: »

I think you missed the bit where Dawkins was in the ambulance on his way to intensive care after Jakkass smashed his nose into his face.

I dunno... A closed mind might be seen as a handicap too! The ambulance might be full with more than one! :pac:

mcmoustache

If jakkass went straight for hawking and eliminated him, and then if dawkins killed jakkass with an atheist falcon punch, would it end in a stalemate?

biko

If these guys could join god's side maybe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfv-Qn1M58I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZFG5PKw504

Biggins

biko wrote: »

If this guy could join god's side maybe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfv-Qn1M58I

Was he serious or was he taking the piss?
Thats the funniest thing I've seen in ages either way! :pac:

I don't understand why everyone calls him Stephen Hawkins instead of Hawking

Anyway... Jakkass... I think any opponent would headdesk so much they'd lose!

ejmaztec

bluewolf wrote: »

I don't understand why everyone calls him Stephen Hawkins instead of Hawking

Anyway... Jakkass... I think any opponent would headdesk so much they'd lose!

Not everyone:P

ejmaztec

ejmaztec wrote: »

Not everyone:P

No, just see it a lot, it's interesting how it's so widespread

Killer Pigeon

ejmaztec wrote: »

I think you missed the bit where Dawkins was in the ambulance on his way to intensive care after Jakkass smashed his nose into his face.

Well who cares there are still 26 boardsies here who will be willing to avenge their deaths, against the 11 boardsies who support a fairytale.

ejmaztec

mcmoustache wrote: »

If jakkass went straight for hawking and eliminated him, and then if dawkins killed jakkass with an atheist falcon punch, would it end in a stalemate?

So you decided against the atheist gun?:P Good choice.

Anyway, in your revised scenario, you're forgetting God, who will transmorph into a water-soaked spongue, drowning Dawkins at the end of the next round.

Killer Pigeon

ejmaztec wrote: »

So you decided against the atheist gun?:P Good choice.

Anyway, in your revised scenario, you're forgetting God, who will transmorph into a water-soaked spongue, drowning Dawkins at the end of the next round.

But Jakkass it still praying to God that he might appear in order to prove his existence but he doesn't appear so Jakkass fails epically.

take everything

dlofnep wrote: »

Trust me, I've wrote enough essays on the guy to last me a lifetime.

:pac:;)

Plowman

This post has been deleted.

Killer Pigeon

Plowman wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Sorry, you entered the data all wrong, let me correct that for you;

Internet's answer with more accurate data input

piby

Even though I'm a scientist I actually voted for God because if he was real than he'd be all powerful and totally kick ass!!

I'm pretty sure it would go something like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mnNpqc7rXA

(Watch from 8:00-9:00 and replace Freddy with God and Nancy with Dawkins!)

The very fact that Dawkins doesn't believe wins him the day!!

MagicMarker

Plowman wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

Sorry, you entered the data all wrong, let me correct that for you;

Internet's answer with more accurate data input

Can't get much more conclusive than that.

Riddle101

My prediction. God wouldn't show up because he's not about to get involved in some petty squabble when he could be in heaven making love to Marilyn Monroe and Britney Murphy, and while Elvis Presley sings in the backround. So it would really be between Dawkins/Hawking and Jakkass. But Hawking is paralysed and most likely weak so it's really a fight between Jakkass and Dawkins. I give the edge Jakkass though.

Wibbs

Well if he could be arsed, God's gonna smite but good.

Hawking: I understand the laws of physics, I have added to some of them and from them I understand the nature of the very universe.

God: Hang on a tic monkey boy. I've got prior copyright.

Hawking: Hang on nothing. I've got fair use. Lets see you argue that in a universal court of law.

God: Wut?!! I'll have you in court monkey boy. Oh shíte, wait. I havent talked to Satan in a while, there goes my legal team..... *thinks* Right you feck, a plague of... oh... Damn, coals to Newcastle there.... Sorry on that score. Well it made you more famous than other physics types. I was going for the Davros look. Did I mention I liked a brief history of time? Very good. Mostly correct too. Brought back some nice memories. Makes a nice change. Fancy a beer?

Dawkins: Hang on you don't even exist!!

God: Oh really? So you're talking to yourself, yet again? You see the big bang? yea that was me. Expansion and all that quirky shíte that gets you lot all confused, enough to have you conjuring up dark matter and such wankology? Me again. And don't get me started on that incident when you were 16. You know the one. Yea, not so loud now eh, Dicky boy? Omnipotent is little old me and I have a pretty damn good pan dimensional memory goin on too. Now feck off. Me and Steve are having a pint and an argument about the conservation of information at the point of a singularity. I'm gonna blow his head in a minute when I tell him singularities don't exist.... More to the point we were both in Star Trek. Were you? No. Didn't think so. Amateur.

philologos

I'm touched, but I wouldn't be "fighting" modern science to begin with! :pac:

mcmoustache

ejmaztec wrote: »

So you decided against the atheist gun?:P Good choice.

Anyway, in your revised scenario, you're forgetting God, who will transmorph into a water-soaked spongue, drowning Dawkins at the end of the next round.

Atheist gun? That doesn't make any sense.....