No Clips On Fuel Pump!

dr.fuzzenstein

One thing that annoys me every time I drive to the pumps is the fact that the little clips that enable you to put the pump on automatic have been removed.
Here's a marvellous piece of engineering that let you put the nozzle into your tank, engage the clip and simply watch it fill up.
Instead we are all being forced to stand there looking like morons with our dicks in our hands and hoping it fills up before you have to give into the cramp in your forearm.
Well, a few years ago I noticed that one of those extra large paperclips (when bent open) will fit exactly through those little holes in the grip of the nozzle, so you can clip it in again and enjoy the marvels of fully automated fuel dispensation!
When you, like me, drive till the little light comes on and then simply pull in and fill her up, this might be of use to you.
Some people might argue that someone might drive off with the nozzle still in the tank, to which I can only say that A: they'll have to pay for a new pump and won't do it again and B: the moronic behaviour of a very dim few shouldn't be made my problem.
So far no garage has said anything to me and if they did, I would simply go to another garage that is happy to accept my money and doesn't insist on me having forearms like Popeye.

opinion guy

Bit strange holding ur dick whilst you fill up. And maybe if you weren't holding ur dick in your hand so much your hand/arm muscles wouldn't be so worn out as to develop cramp merely by filling petrol in a car.

L1011

They are illegal on petrol pumps in Ireland.

They are sometimes present on diesel pumps, Topaz New Ross and Kilbeggan have them anyway. However a lot of stations find its easier to just remove them on all pumps when taking them off new ones.

dr.fuzzenstein

MYOB wrote: »

They are illegal on petrol pumps in Ireland.

They are sometimes present on diesel pumps, Topaz New Ross and Kilbeggan have them anyway. However a lot of stations find its easier to just remove them on all pumps when taking them off new ones.

Well, I somehow doubt they are illegal.
To me it's just this deep-seated and ingrained desire of the Irish to make everything that little bit harder, more awkward and more difficult than it needs to be.
Like only being able to buy alcohol at certain tills, damn I queued at the wrong till, I can't buy alcohol now, oh no, my plans for binge drinking foiled once again by the brilliance of Irish lawmaking!
It's the same as sending you 30 miles into the wilderness only for the signposts for the little town you've been following to suddenly disappear, the lack of street signs and if those clips are illegal then housenumbers must be as well.
It may go back to the time of the British occupation, make the enemy's life as hard and frustrating as possible.

Stinicker

MYOB wrote: »

They are illegal on petrol pumps in Ireland.

Just as well, knowing the brainiacs here they would go into the shop and let it filling away and before long there is a mini deep water horizon spill on the cards at a filling station. Auto cut out pumps where you select how much fuel to pump and pay by credit card would be handy though.

T-Square

The clips mentioned by the OP automatically shut off when the tank if brimmed.

n0brain3r

I jam the fuel cap in to hold the trigger open works a treat

L1011

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

Well, I somehow doubt they are illegal.

Doubt all you want, you're completely wrong.

They're illegal, I'll dig up the same reference I've had to many times before in a few minutes.

L1011

SI 311/1979

VinnyTGM

Your arms get sore from holding the fuel pump, seriously?

johndaman66

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

It may go back to the time of the British occupation, make the enemy's life as hard and frustrating as possible.

I think if such a thing is anywhere next or near your major troubles in life you are having it very easy dr.fuzzenstein and I'd swap my lot with you in a shot! I do agree with you on it being a good thought in going back to British occupation giving the incompetent, fraudulent, parochial style governments we continue to put up with here.

Bandara

1.) Its illegal to have them fitted to pumps.

2.) Not all vehicles cut out automatically when the tank fills, some Saabs particulary are notorious for this.

3.) The main reason they are not on pumps here is because the public forget they have the pumps attached to their car, and go into the shop and pay, come back out, get into their cars and drive away and rip the entire pump out of the ground, cause about 20 grand of damage, cause a huge safety disaster and shut the station down for about 2 days until it can be repaired and approved by the appropriate bodies.

4.) Most newer cars have their fuel caps designed so that they actually fit between the pump handle perfectly thus keeping it pumping when the person lets go (which makes everything above (expect the ripping the pump out of the ground - that still applies) redundant.

MagicSean

If you want to know why they were removed its very simple. A lot of people are idiots. They must be protected from their own stupidity.

dr.fuzzenstein

I wonder sometimes and yes, it's not the biggest problem in the world.
Just wonder how that is in other countries, in Germany I have rarely seen a pump without them.
Does that mean that Germans are so much more intelligent that they can wrap their much more powerful minds around something as hugely complicated as an automatic fuel pump and the Irish are incapable of it?
Somehow I doubt it.
Not so much a question of arm getting sore, but why spend money and time on something that is supposed to be automatic and then disable that feature so we have then to find new ways of making it work again?
I use a paperclip to insert it into the handle of the fuel pump and it works nicely.
And in 20 years of using automatic fuel pumps I have not ONCE seen the pump fail to turn itself off, nor have any of my friends or I have even heard of it happening, so it must be a fairly minor problem.
Of course there will always be morons but I refuse to be punished for their stupidity.
The Irish always believe in punishing the entire population for the mistakes of a few.

Ardennes1944

we do have a way of making it work, squeeze the frickin trigger yoke. has your forearm seriously gotten sore holding a fuel pump? sounds lyk you were just running outta proper arguments and filled it up with crap. a paper clip to hold it? who the hell goes out the door and thinks...oh wait i forgot my giant paper clip!:O cant get my petrol/diesel without it! sad

n0brain3r

Deutschlandfürimmer7 wrote: »

we do have a way of making it work, squeeze the frickin trigger yoke. has your forearm seriously gotten sore holding a fuel pump? sounds lyk you were just running outta proper arguments and filled it up with crap. a paper clip to hold it? who the hell goes out the door and thinks...oh wait i forgot my giant paper clip!:O cant get my petrol/diesel without it! sad

Try pumping anything over 60 or 70 litres without it and you'll know all about it. In a previous life I was a fuel injection technician (forecourt attendant) you get a petrol Range Rover or 7 series in and you better hope you got something to jam the trigger! Esp on an old pump with clogged filters could take 10 minutes to fill a tank.

Ardennes1944

were talking about today and not in a 'previous life' years ago. never came across an old pump with clogged filters and ive been all over for my young age. it really is just a case of squeeze and pay, no more. in fact, im even gettin a bit annoyed with myself that im even having a debate on such a retarded subject

bladebrew

^^^
what,

i was reading a book recently about truck driving in europe and the fuel tanks could take over 1000 litres of diesel,
i assume they have clips to hold them open? it could easily take 10 minutes to fill them,

and do truck pumps in ireland have clips?

i wouldnt really see the point in needing clips to fill a car, but mine only takes 50 litres so it dosent tire me out that much!

-Corkie-

bladebrew wrote: »

^^^
what,

i was reading a book recently about truck driving in europe and the fuel tanks could take over 1000 litres of diesel,
i assume they have clips to hold them open? it could easily take 10 minutes to fill them,

Newer scanias are 1400 litres from empty... I have a little piece of timber that I shove in above the clip and that does the trick..

n0brain3r

Deutschlandfürimmer7 wrote: »

were talking about today and not in a 'previous life' years ago. never came across an old pump with clogged filters and ive been all over for my young age. it really is just a case of squeeze and pay, no more. in fact, im even gettin a bit annoyed with myself that im even having a debate on such a retarded subject

I don't think the technology has changed much in the last 10 years tbh. It may be a retarded subject to you but I'm sure anyone who drives anything with a larger than average tank finds it frustrating to see these clips removed. From my experience they seem to be getting rarer as stations/pumps are replaced. I think they outlasted the passing of legislation for a long time.

Ardennes1944

get the clip police on the case!

coolmoose

For those of you who doubted:

SI 311/1979

"44. Subject to any conditions attached to a licence, every hose through which petroleum Class I is dispensed by a self-service pump to the fuel tank of a vehicle shall be equipped with a nozzle so designed, constructed or arranged that—

( a ) no stop or catch on the nozzle is capable of keeping the nozzle valve open to permit delivery of petroleum and to eliminate manual control,

( b ) the nozzle valve cannot be kept open to permit delivery of petroleum other than by manual pressure and closes automatically to prevent delivery of petroleum immediately manual pressure is released,"

L1011

bladebrew wrote: »

and do truck pumps in ireland have clips?

They are allowed, unless someone is insane enough to make a petrol truck...

The legislation specifically bans them on self service petrol pumps, not diesel/ethanol/anything else ever invented. Think LPG is classed as the same as petrol for this purpose though.

n0brain3r

MYOB wrote: »

They are allowed, unless someone is insane enough to make a petrol truck...

The legislation specifically bans them on self service petrol pumps, not diesel/ethanol/anything else ever invented. Think LPG is classed as the same as petrol for this purpose though.

Even so you're hard pressed to find them even on the truck pumps.

dr.fuzzenstein

I'm sure that legislation was passed on the 1st of April and no one remembered to take it out again.
It's more about ever so slightly perverting the system.
Can't copy a DVD? Now you can. BBC i-player not working outside the UK? Now it does. The ECU of a car must not be tampered with, ROTFLMAO, your car beeping at you cause your seatbelt is undone, it doesn't have to be this way.
Of course it's not a big deal, but I'm delighted that people are annoyed at it, some laws (to be found here)
http://www.idiotlaws.com/
just fall into that category. Right now hysteria can be legislated for in Ireland.
If someone suggested to make it illegal to eat fish-based snacks in your car on a Tuesday, it would pass in a flash.
And aren't stupid threads the most fun?

corktina

Hammertime wrote: »

.

2.) Not all vehicles cut out automatically when the tank fills, some Saabs particulary are notorious for this.

.

its not the car that cuts out. The car doesnt do anything, the pump sense the chnage of back pressure asa the last bit of air is expelled. (IMHO)

exaisle

+1 MYOB

The actual chapter and verse is:

43. (1) A stop, catch or similar device shall not be provided on a pump hose nozzle of a petroleum Class I dispensing pump which is designed to keep the nozzle valve open to permit delivery of petroleum without manual pressure unless—


( a ) the pump is operated at all times by an authorised person.


( b ) the nozzle is provided with a suitable and efficient automatic shut-off device to prevent spillage which may result from a splash-back occurrence or obstruction in or overfilling of a fuel tank of a vehicle or container, and the minimum flow-rate to operate the shut-off device does not exceed one-half of the flow-rate for which the retaining latch is set,


( c ) in the event of the nozzle falling out of the filling-pipe of a vehicle, the operating lever of the nozzle valve is automatically released from the retaining latch or device upon contact of the nozzle with the vehicle or the ground,


( d ) the flow of petroleum is stopped immediately in the event of the nozzle falling out of the filling-pipe of a vehicle, and


( e ) suitable means are provided to prevent so far as is practicable the displacement or detachment (other than by manual movement) of the nozzle in or from the filling-pipe of a vehicle during the delivery of petroleum to the fuel tank.

exaisle

@ dr.fuzzenstein - "BBC i-player not working outside the UK? Now it does."

Explain please! :-)

Cookie_Monster

What a stupid whiney complaint

exaisle wrote: »

@ dr.fuzzenstein - "BBC i-player not working outside the UK? Now it does."

Explain please! :-)

set your IP proxy to a UK based one

Pkiernan

coolmoose wrote: »

For those of you who doubted:

SI 311/1979

"44. Subject to any conditions attached to a licence, every hose through which petroleum Class I is dispensed by a self-service pump to the fuel tank of a vehicle shall be equipped with a nozzle so designed, constructed or arranged that—

( a ) no stop or catch on the nozzle is capable of keeping the nozzle valve open to permit delivery of petroleum and to eliminate manual control,

( b ) the nozzle valve cannot be kept open to permit delivery of petroleum other than by manual pressure and closes automatically to prevent delivery of petroleum immediately manual pressure is released,"

Translated into English:

"The Irish government believes that Irish drivers are effing retards, and need to be wrapped in cotton wool from cradle to grave"

In countries where they have them, it allows one to clean the windows etc whilst filling up. Saves a little bit of time.

Now if only we had a pay at the pump option like enlightened countries, we could speed the whole matter up, and do away with drive-offs at the same time.

L1011

Pkiernan wrote: »

Now if only we had a pay at the pump option like enlightened countries, we could speed the whole matter up, and do away with drive-offs at the same time.

Being rolled out at a number of DCC-owned (greatgas/emo) sites but only for diesel at the moment. Again there is a legal requirement for self service "petroleum type 1" pumps to be monitored whilst in use and having to have staff seriously reduces the incentives to put in card pumps.

Tesco had them but never replaced them for chip and pin.