Can someone please help me - my cat died.

dan_d

Hi guys.

Okay I'm posting here because my little cat was killed 2 days ago and I am very definitely not alright.

She is almost always in all night but 2 nights ago, she went out and didn't come back. We found her around the corner on Tuesday morning - we buried her in the back garden. I think she might have been hit by a car coming too fast through the estate...she wasn't injured as such, but she was thrown on the path.She was only 2 years old.

I just.....am not okay. I cried all day Tuesday, and a lot of yesterday - and now it's 9.05 in the morning and I'm crying again. My OH is doing his best, but I'm just devastated. My heart is broken, and I feel like I don't know how to go on. I know it sounds silly, but I just didn't expect it to be this hard. The worst part is that I'm unemployed and I am at home a lot of the day and I just see her everywhere. She was a real little house cat and she loved our company - and now I'm on my own and I'm just hurting so much.I do kind of feel that if I was working I mightn't have so much time to think about it, but I'm not.

I just want to know if there's anyone out there that can tell me how on earth I'm supposed to get past this. I posted about her in the departed pets thread above, but I just need someone to tell me that I'll be okay at some point. I do eventually want another one...but it breaks my heart to think I'll never see her again.I actually feel sick, and I keep thinking about how it might have happened to her and replaying stuff in my head and I just want to get out of my own brain at this stage. I have talked to my OH, but I feel bad for him too...I don't want to unload all my insane depression on him.

How am I supposed to get past this? Is there anyone else out there that's had this experience...did it feel this bad?

testicle

Totally unhelpful.
Infraction issued.

LisaO

Hi,so sorry to hear about your little cat, that's an awful thing to happen for any pet or pet owner. All I can say from my own experience (& hopefully others on here will back this up) is that everything you are now experiencing & feeling is a perfectly normal part of the grieving process. Your cat was a constant & daily part of your life for 2 years & you shared a very special bond so it is very natural to feel an enormous loss when that is gone, especially in such sudden & traumatic circumstances. I believe the grieving for a dearly loved pet is no different to the grieving process for the loss of a human - you will go through the same run of emotions and feelings.

It's a cliche but it is true that time is a healer. At the moment your emotions are very raw but there will come a time when a cute little face & paws will suddenly grab your heart again. But for now, remember all the good things, the funny things about your little cat & maybe try to talk to your OH as well (men often feel these things just as badly but can be very good at hiding it;)). Maybe find a special photo of her that sums up everything she was and get it framed & put up in a special place. If she had any special toys, etc, maybe ask your OH to put them away for now in a safe place until you feel able to look at them & deal with them - in time, such items may bring you comfort & happy memories.

Look after yourself. When you feel ready, try to get out & about and maybe find an interest to keep you busy? And don't worry about the inevitable "it was just a cat, get over it" comments. People who say that are the poorer ones who don't have the courage to open their hearts & minds to the unique love and inevitable heartbreak that a cherished pet can bring.

Dusty87

Yes i did feel like that before, twice actually. When i lost my friend at 16 and my grandfather. There is nothing you can do now,
Look at the bigger picture.

dan_d

I should add that if you're not a pet owner, don't bother posting.......I know what people who have no understanding of animals think.

But to those who do, thanks.

Pudding11

So sorry to hear of your loss. No matter what anyone says a pet is part of your family and it hurts like hell to lose them. Ive lost pets over the years and it still hurts. I have two cats now, just over a year old, and cant imagine losing them, especially so young.
Time is the only thing really that will help you through this and of course the support of your loved ones.
I dont know if this will help too but in my local vet, Cara Vet Group (they have a website), I saw leaflets about pet bereavement so they might have some information or support that could be useful. Other vets, even your own, might be worth contacting too.

cjf

Know this was originally written for a dog but think it applies to kittens too!!

I Stood Beside Your Bed Last Night

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.

I purred to you softly, as you brushed away a tear.
"It’s me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here"

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea.
You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house as you fumbled for the key,
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "It's me".

You looked so very tired and then you sank into a chair,
I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.

It’s possible for me to be so near you everyday,
To say to you with certainty "I never went away".

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew,
That in the stillness of that evening I was very close to you.

The day is over.... I smile and watch you yawning and say,
"Good Night, Sweet Dreams, God Bless, I'll see you in the morning".

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush to greet you and we’ll stand together side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there's much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out; then come home and be with me.

bobbytables

I'm sorry OP for your loss. I know what it's like to lose a loyal pet also. It does get in on you alright, and because it was an animal as opposed to a person you do end up feeling somewhat ashamed of yourself for grieving to the extent you do. However, you do, it's valid, you can't suppress it, so I say let it out. Cry if you need to cry and talk to other people close to you about it (and of course people on here too ).

When I was younger I had a really lovely dog. He was such a good friend. He used to follow us everywhere. We used to go to the local park and have great craic. For a small dog he could run really fast. Then one day while we had visitors leaving the house, he all of a sudden spotted a dog across the street and took off without a care. A person doing about 60mph on our street hit him and continued on. We put him in the car, he was in a bad state and took him to the vet. He was absolutely silent the whole way there and was bleeding heavily, but was wagging his tail. The vet took one look at him and advised we have him put down. So we did, as the only humane option we had. I was devastated.

What we decided the next day to help us all along was to just get another dog. Of course a new dog wouldn't instantly replace what we lost, but it certainly helped, more than any of us thought it would. Within a week of losing our other dog, we got another young pup of the exact same breed as our last dog. She was beautiful, and because she was a pup and needed watching we were given enough of a distraction to help us through.

It's amazing when you are suddenly given the responsibility of someone/something else to mind, your focus tends towards that. That's my 2c, and it worked for us. I'm sorry again for what you've gone through over the past few days. But don't worry, the pain you feel now will pass.

Pudding11

CJF that is absolutely beautiful.

boomerang

Came across this recently - maybe this lady could help?

http://www.solacepbc.com/About.html


How you're feeling is absolutely natural and totally understandable, by the way. x x x

Toulouse

I don't even want to think about when my own girl goes so my heart goes out to you.

Console yourself with the fact that she had a lovely life, was well loved and is waiting for you at the bridge http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

Maybe you could plant something in her memory where you buried her and have a little service to say goodbye when you're feeling stronger as I think this is probably what is hardest for you at the moment. It was so sudden and you weren't there.

http://www.caravetgroup.com/Coping_with_Pet_Bereavement/Default.1123.html

cjf

Pudding11 wrote: »

CJF that is absolutely beautiful.

Yea know it by heart at this stage!! Have it on my fridge with a pic of my 3 doggies and 1 kitten who I have lost over the years! Just reminds me they there in a nice way!! Can still get misty eyed when I think about them!!

OP: It is devastating and so hard when you dont have anyone to talk to who is 'animally'!! It will get better and when you ready maybe you can give a home to another little kitten in need because every kitten deserves an owner who cares as much as you do!

morgana

I know how it hurts to loose a beloved cat, every pet owner unfortunately has to go through it at some stage.
The first weeks will be awful with sudden bursts of deep grief and feelings of great loss.
Try to remember the good times, the times she made you laugh, her trust. It will still hurt as hell but become more bearable.

It will take some time, but eventually the good memories will still be with you. And you never know, another cat will come along and steal another spot in your heart.

I would wait some time though before I consider another cat, allow healing to take place.

Very tough time, my sister has a yorkshire terrier that is one of the family, she knows me as Uncle Jimmy and dad as Grandad (honestly) . Years back we had a yorkie who was a grand little dude most of the time but he bit all of us and Mum's brother so we had to have him put down (chap from ISPCA and the vet both thought it necessary, he was a vicious little nutter at times). Mum cried all the way from the dog's home back to the car. Took us ages to get over it. In a month or two you might feel like getting another.

tk123

My cat was pts last year - he was 6 and had kidney failure. He was a house cat and my little buddy. The last few weeks before he died I had just come out of hospital and was in bed most of the time - he used the spend the whole day keeping me company! He was always with us.
It does get easier OP but it's so hard - everytime I read a post like this my eyes fill up thinking of him and of how much I miss him. Don't be ashamed to cry - it's ok to be upset and take no notice of people who don't have pets or who don't like cats who try to make you feel stupid for having a heart.
We waited a few weeks before picking 2 kittens but after thinking about it we decided we weren't ready to replace him with another cat so we ended up getting a puppy instead.
So many people have come up to us on walks or in the vets to pet him and next their eyes well up telling me all about their golden retriever who died and how much they miss them - when you spend some much time with your pet it's natural to be upset and miss them.

anniehoo

Hi OP! So sorry for the loss of your lovely cat. You're going to be in bits for a good while to be honest which is perfectly natural and normal. Our pets are members of our family and very much loved, of course you're going to be upset.

But....it WILL get easier. I promise! I lost my dog of 14 years there in January and oh my god ive never cried so much in my life. I was devastated. I still well up now when i think of her, but its not sadness so much now as just missing her and remembering all the fun times.

You'll get through this but itll take time. I think we're lucky to be honest. A lot of people dont understand or appreciate the love animals give us...so count yourself lucky that you do and embrace all of the emotions that come with them..

Clare Bear

So sorry to hear you're upset dan_d. It's horrible I know. I've only had my dog 8 months but I'd be lost without him now, he goes everywhere with me, he's my pal. 5 years ago we lost our family dog. We've always had loads of dogs, usually 3 or 4 at a time but this was just that one dog that stood out and one I will never forget. I still miss him now and still get lonely sometimes when I go home and he's not there to greet me.

It's early days, you're still coming to terms with it and getting used to not having her around. In a little while you will hopefully feel that it's time again to open your heart to another cat. You don't feel like that now but you will. And it sounds like any cat will be lucky to have such a great home with you.

Big hugs, it's awful and she wasn't just a cat to you, she was your little buddy so don't let anyone make you feel stupid for being so upset, I completely understand how you feel. Hope you'll be okay, talk on here about her whenever you want to, lots of people will understand and have gone through what you're going through xxx

joyce2009

OP I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my face after reading your post because I'm so sorry for you cos i know how you feel and its all natural and normal (unfortunatley). It just goes to show how much she was loved..All i can say is cry when you feel like it but remember there are too many little cats in shelters that would love to have you as an owner and in time you will be there to give one a home hopfully. I hope you will start to feel better soon,,maybe getting out for a walk during the day will help clear your head and feel better. Best of luck and again I'm so sorry for your loss.

tazwaz

hi op, i know how you feel right now, my dog was pts 5 weeks ago.... i still have a little cry some nights. all i can say is treasure your memories of him, remember all the great times. i planted some roses in the garden after taz passed away and when i get his ashes back we'll have a little memorial for him. thats kinda helping me get through this horrible time in my life

dan_d

Thanks so much everyone.

My OH is upset, but he hates seeing me cry so he kind of tries to keep it all to himself and look after me.

I just hate the fact that I'm at home and I see her everywhere.....it keeps kicking me in the stomach. We will get another kitten, but I'm so terrified that it could happen again...yet I'm weighing that against NOT having one, and I don't think I could have a house without a cat. We live in such a quiet place - a cul de sac off a cul de sac - with loads of kids, so I just find it so hard to believe that this has happened. I know it's horrible but I keep seeing all the other many cats around and wondering why it couldn't have happened to one of them, why it was my cat.We always kept her in at night and she was so loved...and as cats do, she returned that love.

Thanks for all your replies, you're all helping so much. My family are all pet lovers, so they do understand but ....it's just so hard.

And CJF your poem is beautiful, thank you so much.

Stark

dan_d wrote: »

I should add that if you're not a pet owner, don't bother posting.......

Okay, I know you're upset but that's just rude. I was going to post about how upset my mother was when our dog died and how she got through it, but as a non-pet owner myself, I'll refrain.

Clare Bear

Stark wrote: »

Okay, I know you're upset but that's just rude. I was going to post about how upset my mother was when our dog died and how she got through it, but as a non-pet owner myself, I'll refrain.

I think someone posted something unhelpful and the OP just didn't want to hear more "It's just a cat, get over it" type comments. I'm sure they'd like to hear your story.

Toulouse

Stark wrote: »

Okay, I know you're upset but that's just rude. I was going to post about how upset my mother was when our dog died and how she got through it, but as a non-pet owner myself, I'll refrain.

Don't be like that, you missed what Testicle said. I'm sure the OP meant non-pet lovers as opposed to pet owners.

dan_d

Apologies, I was referring to people who have never had a pet in their lives.

Obviously I know there are plenty of people out there who have had pets and couldn't find it in them to have another one after losing one. More specifically, I was referring to people who were simply going to say "get over it" because they've never lived through this themselves or with somebody else.

I did not mean to be offensive.

Orla K

My cat died in Feburary (day before valentines day to be exact) I had her less than a year but she was the best cat ever, nothing got in her way, she had three legs but jumped and played more than my other cat. She eventually was put to sleep she had tumor that they couldn't remove and it was effecting her alot. For the first week I cried, then I focused on Oscar a little more. In a few weeks I did what I had planned to do when I first got her, volunteer in the shelter where I she came from. There were lots of cats (and dogs) that had very different personalities and it got me out of the house for a bit where Stubbs food bowl and toys were. Eventually I saw another cat who had just come in, she was covered in huge lumps of matted fur and slightly underweight but loving the attention, I took her home with me(after she was neutered and seen the vet) From the shelter I have started fostering kittens too, at the moment I've two, no intention of keeping them but their a nice bit of madness that I can give back. I've also taken in a mammy cat who's about to burst and I'm mostly focusing on her because she needs alot of help (underweight)

A cat will come into your life again, just be relaxed about it, I had to get another one because Oscar was getting lonely and wanted company(now he wants to be left alone:rolleyes:) One thing to do is get out of the house more being unemployed is bad enough but going around the house and seeing things that upset you isn't going to help.

Kimia

Oh god OP I feel for you. I'm actually welling up now at the thoughts of losing my baby, it's an unbelievable feeling of deep loss and grief. I lost our family cat a few years back, he was around since I was a child and I was in my 20's when he died (happily of old age - he just lay down in our back garden in his favourite spot and passed away) and the grief was horrendous.

Try to keep busy, keep distracted, that's what helped me. If talking helps, post lots of stories and memories that will make you feel better. Cats are hilarious - I know I have a few really funny stories that would cheer me up just thinking about them .

Also, if you get another kitten would you consider keeipng her/him indoors? My little one never goes outside and the vet/shelter have all told me it's grand, even better for them because they dont get diseases/fighting with other cats.

The pain eases, but it never goes fully because they take a little of you with them when they go. Or maybe they leave a little bit with you when they go, but you'll never forget them. Cats leave pawprints on your heart. x

Dixie Chick

Hi Dan

I think you have brought a lump to almost everyones throat here with your post. It will get easier yes but allow yourself to grieve and the lump in your throat will pass

I think you should get another cat for definite, look at some welfare sites and see what some poor cats have had in their miserable lives and know that your cat had a good life and chose you as her human and had a short very happy life.

dan_d

Thanks Dixie. We will get another little puss, but I'm so worried it might happen again. We're not trying to replace her - she was our first pet together, and we both miss her terribly. But we'll get another cat.

I would consider keeping them indoors - ours was indoors as much as possible, in fact she didn't go out until she was over 6 months old and neutered and even then she only went over the wall into next door. She never, ever strayed too far past our back garden.Which makes this all the harder to bear.I'm putting myself through hell here, thinking about what might have happened to her and how - I hope she didn't suffer.

She's left prints with all 4 paws on my heart, without a doubt...on both of us.She was our little puss and I miss her so much. I'm trying, and it's a bit better today, but how on earth do people get through life when stuff like this happens??

lrushe

It has to be the worst part of pet ownership, the death of a pet, it doesn't matter if you've had them 10 weeks or 10 years it's always devastating when they go. My last dog to go was my 13 year old German Shephard and even now 4 years on I find it hard to believe she's gone. It does get easier in the sense you won't think about it everyday but it never fully goes away, even now I'll see one of my current dogs doing something and I'll think "Daisy used to love doing that" but now instead of tears there's a smile. She was a great dog and I've some great memories, as I have of every animal I've had the privilege of owning and I feel blessed for whatever length of time I've had each and everyone

Heroditas

dan_d wrote: »

She's left prints with all 4 paws on my heart, without a doubt...on both of us.She was our little puss and I miss her so much. I'm trying, and it's a bit better today, but how on earth do people get through life when stuff like this happens??

I moved out of my parents' house many years ago but was still very attached to the cat. She always greeted me when I came home to visit them.
Despite the fact she died over 4 years ago at the grand old age of 17, I still miss her like mad and keep thinking I see her out of the corner of my eye whenever I call in to visit. We had taken her in (she adopted us) when she was barely 2 months old and stayed with us forever after.
Time's a healer though. It'll just take a bit of time.
Hopefully you'll find it in yourselves to look after another cat who will be lucky enough to get plenty of love and attention from you and your other half.

Cherry Blossom

OP, I am truely so sorry for your loss

The only advice I can give you is to find some way of remembering happy times with your little cat, and time does heal . . slowly

I lost my horse to a freak accident about 2 years ago, I cried non stop for a full week and carried a little bunch of his tail hair I found stuck to a fence everywhere I went for a full month.

I found my own ways of dealing with it, I wrote a very long poem about his life from when I got him till he died, i'm no poet but it was something to do and was a great outlet for getting out all the thoughts that were running amok in my head. He'd had his feet done a few days earlier and I contacted the farrier and made him bring the old shoes back :rolleyes: I had them sanded down and took them to a local photographer with his headcollar, the poem I wrote, another I found inspirational and few favourite pictures and they it all arranged in a lovely frame. The kids all made little boquets of flowers and we had a little ceremony in the field and left them under a tree he always liked to shelter under, (the kids were only really involved so i'd feel less stupid if any passers by saw me )

I did have another little pony to keep me busy who was very stressed at being on his own and kept searching for 'someone who wasn't there' So I did spend an awful lot of time out in the field with him just pulling up weeds and stuff to keep him company. The worst thing was watching him gallop off in the direction of every single noise he heard only to be dissappointed when he didn't find what he'd hoped. He'd look up and stand to attention everytime I came to the field and this always followed with him instantly relaxing with a sigh that sort of said 'oh its only you again'

I appreciate none of this is very helpful to you as your circumstances are completely different but do find some way of remembering your little cat that's personal to you both and it will help immensely with the grieving process.

Some people really do not understand at all and you are lucky to have your OH there to support you. I did come up against a lot of 'it's only a horse' comments even from people supposedly close to me and some even felt it appropriate to make some very bad 'dead horse' jokes :mad:

I would be happy to send you my poem by PM if you wish, even for inspiration. I won't post it here as it's quite personal and largely irrelevant and as I've said very long!

dan_d

Thanks again guys.

Adrenalinjunkie, I don't mind what kind of animal you lost, you understand how incredibly horrible it feels. Worse, the vet rang this evening as we had been in a couple of weeks ago, and she was due a routine check-up and he wanted to know when we'd be back. He sounded like he felt absolutely awful when I had to tell him what happened.

I know I'll be okay, but she had so much of a life ahead of her - WE had so much of a life ahead to share with her....she should have grown old and died at home in her bed, with us.

Thanks again guys, you've no idea how much you're all helping.

Alun

Maybe this may be of some help? http://irishanimals.newsweaver.ie/newsletter/3cpqqodyida She's a psychotherapist based in Ireland specializing in pet bereavement. I personally know another bereavement counsellor, who normally handles cases of human bereavement, but will also do pet cases, so maybe others do as well if the one mentioned above isn't suitable for whatever reason.

As an aside, when our cat Tabatha died when we lived in the Netherlands, we had her cremated at a dedicated pet crematorium, and as part of the package they offered free counselling. We didn't take them up on the offer, but it was a nice thought none the less.

Lastly, I'm very sorry for your loss .. I know what it's like from personal experience, and I still shed the occasional tear when I accidentally come across old photos of Tabatha and Tigger.

belongtojazz

I'm sitting here with all my doggies around me asleep with tears rolling down my cheeks at your loss. My little one got out onto the road tonight and I was nearly in tears then at the thought something might happen to her. Our pets become a huge part of our family and their loss is huge.
You have my utmost sympathy and I hope the pain passes for you soon x

thalia_13

heya, just wanted to say I know how you feel. Its a few weeks now since my cat died, and it was so unbearable at the time. I broke down in work especially, as well as at home, numerous times over the next few days, but as time has gone on it has gotten easier.

I had my cat 5 years, saw him being born, and raised him through some serious illness scares.. I just kept thinking about how I will never see him do his little tricks again, or how I would never feel the roughness of his nose when he gave me kisses etc... A few weeks later, now I look back in fondness and happiness at the time we had together. Ok it still hurts, and some days I really miss his company, but as time has passed I am able to realise that I has some great times with him, fantastic memories, and nothing will ever change that..

I really hope you are going to be ok, I cant tell you it will be ok tomorrow or next week, you do have to grieve, just allow yourself time, and dont feel ashamed to cry. A pet is a part of the family, and dont let anyone tell you to cop on or whatever.

I can honestly say though, the day my boy died, I posted here, and everyone here was so so kind and helpful, and gave me so much strength to get through it. I was reassured by everyone that its ok to cry, and to take my time getting over it. Having seen what everyone here has already posted for you just proves that there are some decent lovely people out there.

If you do want to talk at all, you can PM me, because it its still raw with me, and I know how you feel hun xxx

Take care and hope you are ok

theghost

So sorry to hear about your little cat. It really is the worst thing about having pets. All I can say is that your grief will ease and there will come a time when you can think of your cat with smiles instead of tears.

BrigR

So sorry to hear about your cat. I wanted to post a reply immediately when I read your post yesterday but broke down crying thinking about the cat I lost recently- in spite of having the new cat purring on my lap. It's the price we pay for having a pet, their life span is shorter than ours and it is always a heartbreak. But think of the good life your cat had, loved and cared for in a home, rather than being a stray or abandoned or mistreated.
According to my sister in law who is a psychotherapist almost everybody reacts strongly to the death of a pet, it brings back all bereavement issues.
But believe me, it gets easier with time and one lucky cat will move in with you.

koneko

If you haven't had a pet before, that you're close to, you would have no idea how this can feel, it's easy to be flippant and laugh.

OP, you won't forget your cat but these wounds heal, and you will have happy memories to hang onto, it gets easier. Hang in there. I know what you're going through, and it isn't easy. I get a lump in my throat knowing some day I'll have that feeling again.

dan_d

Guys, it's just so heartwarming to know that strangers out there have taken the time to try and make me feel better.

Thank you so much.And thalia_13, thanks to you too. I know I will be okay eventually, but it does hit me again every so often and it's tough.

There's another really nice poem on the Caravet website - I hope it's okay to link to it, I didn't want to post it here as I'm not sure the author would like it.....

http://www.caravetgroup.com/I_Haven%E2%80%99t_Left_At_All/Default.1210.html

almae

OP, I am so sorry for your loss.

I too am grieving for my beautiful boy Garfield, he suffered from Kidney Failure and was put to sleep yesterday. I held him and cuddled him as he went to sleep.
The pure raw emotion that came out of me was unreal. I could not breathe , I was sobbing...I left our boy with the vet to get cremated. I had to explain to my 4 yr old that garfield was still with the vet as I cannot tell her until I can cope with it..
I cried all yesterday evening , night and most of today. Little reminders like finding his hair set me off..
even today i thought i was going to suffocate with the loss of him.
He was a huge part of our lives and he was only 6..
this is our boy.



I found these things online today and I have ordered them to help us and as a memorial to him, they might be an idea for you too

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/GARFI008/Resident.htm

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=360192494299

thalia_13

Hi Almae, just want to say sorry for your loss, your cat was a beauty. Take care x

dan_d

Almae he's beautiful. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, I understand the feeling of not being able to breathe with grief all too well at the moment.
It's 5 days later for me, and although it's better, it still hurts beyond anything I had ever expected.
I'll be thinking about you, and I hope it gets easier for us both soon.

almae

hi

Dan_d it is very raw still. We just told our daughter she is 4 , and she shed a few tears but the imagination she is showing is just amazing.. she is healping me.

we a re fostering 2 kittens 10 weeks old today for a week so that will help too.


big hugs to u .

LucyBliss

dan_d, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I absolutely hate it myself when people say 'oh it's just a dog or just a cat' because while that may be, the fact remains that you opened up your heart to that animal and loved it and took care of it and it was a part of your family and your daily life, as much as any person. I myself lost my father 17 years ago and recently buried my grandmother and I cried as much at those funerals as I did when my last dog had to be put down a few years ago. How can you not be devastated over the loss of a creature who loved you unconditionally and never gave you guff when you came home without the dry cleaning or forgot to buy the bread?

All I can say is, be good to yourself and allow yourself to grieve. It does get easier to bear with time and you'll know when you're ready to get another pet. It won't be a replacement, naturally, but it'll be a creature ready to benefit from your care and love.

Shazanne

I have tried so hard to read all of the posts above but I just cant - it's far too upsetting for me. I lost my beautiful boy on February 11th 2008 and I still cry for him. He was like my child, he truly was. He too had renal failure and I kept him going as long as I could - I have him a daily drip at home, tablets, injections - the vet was fantastic and taught me how to care for him. I practically dedicated my life to his care. Then things got too bad for him to go on and I had to part with him. I will never, ever forget that Monday evening till the day I die. I could not breath with the pain inside me. In fact, and I only say this here because its anonymous, I did not feel such pain when my father died suddenly last year.
I had my little boy cremated so he is with me all the time and I have since moved house, which has helped somewhat. I could no longer bear the house I was in (for 25 years!) after he had gone from it.
A number of months later I adopted a rescue dog (could not get another cat) and although she will never replace him, she has helped me enormously and I am now giving love to another animal, which I thought I should never chance doing again.
I miss my little boy every single day but the sharp and all-consuming pain does ease. My heart goes out to anyone who loses a beloved pet and my thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Someday I will read all of this thread - I just cant do it now. X

goat2

i find it very helpful to know that there are people out there like me, that when we lose a beautiful little pet, we are heartbroken, the hurt will ease but you never forget them, in my garden there are four pet cats one beautiful labrador two rabbits and about four hamsters buried, they are among the flowers here, and i know that there has to be a place for them in the land above, as they brought nothing but joy into our families lives, we all shed tears for every one of them, all the cats were hit by cars, the last cat i had he was a black beauty slept with jackrussel dog i am still heartbroken,
i wish you well, time is all you need,
and in time you may get a little kitten to make your house a home once again,

dan_d

I'm feeling a bit better the last couple of days, but it really stings badly when I do think of her. I've discovered that I have some of the best friends and I'm so lucky to have them - they've all looked after me, even those who don't have pets. They all miss her too....she was very much a part of all our lives, as are their pets.

We live in a very quiet neighbourhood with so many cats - I just can't understand how on earth this could have happened.It worries me that I will get another one and it might happen again. I would have a cat indoors as much as possible, but I do think that they are fundamentally outdoor creatures and I think they should be allowed to roam a bit during the day. Ours was very much a home cat, she never went any distance at all.It was said to me though, that if that's how I think, I'd never do anything - and even if it was a short time we had her, she was very happy. If I had been told when I got her that I'd only have 2 years with her, I still would have kept her, for everything she gave us during those 2 years.

I hope everyone who'd lost a pet recently gets through it okay and I understand the pain so well...but think how much emptier life would be if we didn't feel that pain when bad things happen.

artieanna

just lost my babe yesterday after 12 of the greatest years...

They say better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all....

It just hurts like hell!

Shazanne

artieanna wrote: »

just lost my babe yesterday after 12 of the greatest years...

They say better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all....

It just hurts like hell!

My thoughts are with you at this time. Big hug to you. X

confuseddotcom

Get another cat O.P. now or soon when ya can, while your last pet is still fresh in your mind. As I think, with the passing of time you may find, you'll feel somewhat "guilty" as time goes on by "replacing him" with another. Where-as, I feel by getting a new cat now with old pet still fresh in mind won't be as hard by doing so right now.

Our poor lil' dog got killed too. I guess speed and the roads are treacherous nowadays anyways, and on a more serious note, if being deemed a hindrance to passing traffic, things could have been a lot lot worse if a wall was hit or anything like that happened.

From what we gather he was on the edge of our drive-way, and un-fairly on our part wasn't actually out on the road at all, (until that is, he got swept out by some-one going through the country-residential-area at a safe-suitable to slow-stopping speed ..... YEAH RIGHT!! :rolleyes::rolleyes: ) But as having things could have turned out much worse is the only way to look at this.

He was the most beautiful little dog to be seen. But of course I'd say that! It wasn't too long ago when it happened, and he had great Watch-dog features about him lol, he used to sit outside or at the door or on top of the stairs and mind the house as if it was his own! He was so funny. But he was very very clever as well skills/tricks-wise as my brothers taught him well. That's also why it was such a shame as he was such a clever little thing.

As it happened we had originally got him as a gift. We never would have been big into animals, but on hindsight it certainly wasn't because our parents didn't want us to have pets when we were young etc., it was more because they didn't want us to have to deal with a pet being killed/buried.

O.P. I see flashes/memories of our beautiful dog ALL the time. Out of all the family, I wouldn't have been as animally-loving as all other members of the family, maybe that was because of being scared of dogs when I was younger, but because I was at home all day every day, and spent the most time with him because of that, his passing affected me in a major way, it was probably really hard on my mother too as he adored her. But like you I still catch glimpses of him everywhere around me. He was quite a small dog too, and I still find myself looking down or side-stepping to avoid him and then it hits me like a bolt that he's gone. But the other day I just caught a flash of him sitting on the stairs, and for some reason for the first time in months, my first thought wasn't oh I must cry and grieve for him, it was a happy fun comforting thought so that picked me up a bit. So it does get a bit easier.

And I know he's gone now, and I do still miss him, and I do feel guilty for feeling so annoyed to have to open and close the doors when he was going in and out, and that his water-bowl had to be re-filled, and telling him to quit it when he barked at strangers, but I know all those things couldn't be helped. But the one way now that I know that I've moved on, is, when the neighbour's dogs go on a barking-spree frenzy, I don't feel sad anymore, I'm like; "Oh shut up barking would ye!" So those familiar regular little things do help and are an ease in a sense.

While we only had our dog for a year or two not as wide-scale as all our lives, I can totally look in with the eyes of some-one who would rightfully in a way think, - it's just a pet, get over it.

My youngest brother was outside when it happened, he didn't see it happen, but he ran indoors yelling and crying, and the only way I can describe his anguished screams I'll never forget it, with all due respect and no offence whatsoever intended here, was like those two Car-crash ads. on TV where the little toddler and teenagers get killed! :eek: That's how real it was/seemed! Actually even now when my youngest brother even laughs it gives me a shrill chill and brings me back to that awful day.

But it's not until you actually have the experience of having and rearing a pet that you will realise that it's just like a human baby lol, it is in fact another living family member. Hopefully this will bring a little console to you O.P. in that at some point, you will have happy memories of the activities and things your cat did, and you will be comforted that she can and will live on in spirit even after its' passing.

Hehe actually yesterday when I was hanging out clothes, I came across a rather badly-damaged teeth-marked clothes-peg lol!! Where our dog went through a spell of chewing and eating everything in sight and seeing the clothes-peg just made me laugh!