She like me :)

LegacyUser

Hi people,


My group of friends are all a little older than me and went to school together/grew up together etc. I have been friends with them for around 2 years.

There's a few girls in this social circle and basically I ended up with one of them at the weekend. I kinda saw it coming, Shes a nice girl, I liked her and we had been openly flirting in front of everyone the past few times we have been out together until this weekend when she told me that she liked me

Anyway the issue that I have is that although we are very early into things, I think she would be looking for a relationship if this develops to any level. I've been in several long term relationships and I have sworn after each of them not to get too involved with anyone until I'm certain or even to the point where I thought she might be "the one".

On the otherhand I genuinely like this girl and have felt this way about her for some time. I don't want to ruin things or lose her by saying the wrong thing.

We're both 29. Does anyone have any advice for how to approcah the situation?

PS. I dont think a casual relationship would be ideal in our circumstances.

28064212

privatenumber wrote: »

...not to get too involved with anyone until I'm certain or even to the point where I thought she might be "the one".

That doesn't make any sense. How can you be certain without getting involved with someone?

privatenumber wrote: »

I think she would be looking for a relationship if this develops to any level

And do you not think that by the time your relationship "develops to any level" that you might have an idea of whether you wanted to be involved? What exactly are you worried about? What's an 'ideal' result here for you?

LegacyUser

On the otherhand I genuinely like this girl and have felt this way about her for some time. I don't want to ruin things or lose her by saying the wrong thing.

I've been in several long term relationships and I have sworn after each of them not to get too involved with anyone until I'm certain or even to the point where I thought she might be "the one".

just my humble opinion but you only have 3 options here
a) try to develop a relationship with this girl
b) don't
or
c) suggest a f**k buddy scenario (but you've said this prob wouldn't be ideal so that just leaves options a&b)

please don't be that head-wrecker guy who doesn't know what he wants and messes the girl around. You're making this far too complicated. It sounds like you've been burned by your past relationships, if you're not ready to get into a relationship with this girl, then tell her so straight out, and don't. seeing her half heartedly until you reach a point where you feel "shes the one" is incredibly unfair on her - why should she have to settle for that? You can't have your cake and eat it too.

LegacyUser

Hello and thank you for the response.

Note i said too involved. What i meant by this was I do not want to find myself in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship without us getting to know each other a lot lot better.

My ideal outcome as you have asked would be to get to know this girl better (by dating) whilst making sure she does not have expectations of a relationship. I can't say I'm not looking for a relationship myself as I believe that to be a cop out when it comes to meeting someone in this type of situation but I really do think I would need quite a lot of time before entering a serious relationship with anyone. From what this girl said to me the other night, She has pretty strong feelings for me and I do not want to lead her on or see her get hurt

redhed35

im going to go out on a limb here and suggest that you be honest with her!

nothing wrong in a bit of honesty,at least she will know where you stand and she wont be day dreaming about churches and babies!

let the girl know whats going on,give it to her straight.

be wise in your words,as you may have misunderstood the signals she is giving.

she may not think your the bomb diggity bomb just yet.

28064212

privatenumber wrote: »

My ideal outcome as you have asked would be to get to know this girl better (by dating) whilst making sure she does not have expectations of a relationship.

Dating naturally leads on to a relationship. Anyone who's dating has expectations that if it's going well it will lead to a relationship. You don't want to date her, you want to be friends with her, then date at some unspecified point in the future. Tell her you're not ready for a relationship, but would like to be friends. Don't string her along in some kind of half-dating relationship