Dog lovers & Partners

Galway K9

This is a question for fellow like minded dog lovers. Is it reasonable to want to date someone that loves dogs rather than someone who doesnt care for dogs?

I only want to find someone who loves dogs the same as i do.

andreac

Yes i think its reasonable alright. I dont think i could be with someone who didnt like dogs as my dog is a big aprt of my life.

I also think dogs are a great judge of character so if the fella passes the Cooper (my dog:)) test then its a good sign:D

lrushe

Definately, my dogs are high on my list of priorities and anybody I choose to spend my life with would always have to understand that. So for example if we plan on going somewhere at the weekend my bf understands that before we go anywhere the dogs have to be walked, cleaned up after, fed and watered, when we come home from work the dogs get walked and fed before us etc. Luckily he adores our dogs (2 of which I had before we met and 1 we got together) as much as me, I actually think the dogs help our bond as most weekends we go off with them hiking and stuff which is a great way of unwinding and spending time together.:)

cocker5

Galway K9 wrote: »

This is a question for fellow like minded dog lovers. Is it reasonable to want to date someone that loves dogs rather than someone who doesnt care for dogs?

I only want to find someone who loves dogs the same as i do.

i think it depends... do they have to love dogs the excat same way you do??

The reason i ask is i am a huge dog lover... always have been... my hubby when i met him really liked dogs but not the same way i did.... now that we have our own dog for the past 5 years he is getting as batty as me with reagrds to the dog... but it takes time.... thats all...

I wouldnt date people who didnt like dogs or animals for thats fact (personally i reckon there must be something wrong with them)

Galway K9

well im a guy so id say be harder again haha no evidence to support that. No the same as me but they have to love dogs nonetheless or have a great liking for them.

arybvtcw0eolkf

Galway K9 wrote: »

This is a question for fellow like minded dog lovers. Is it reasonable to want to date someone that loves dogs rather than someone who doesnt care for dogs?

I only want to find someone who loves dogs the same as i do.

I don't think its unreasonable at all.

I know lots of people who wouldn't date someone who didn't like dogs.

Speaking for myself, well owning & loving dogs is part of me & if you want to share my world you share it with my dogs too, equally.

adelcrowsmel

I think its reasonable to want to find a partner that likes dogs Galway K9 - I know that I will want any future partner to at the very least be affectionate/kind towards any dogs that I may have at the time, and as a best care scenerio to love dogs as much as I do! Especially if you are someone who loves to spend time with your dogs - walking, playing, etc... it would be fairly important that your partner had some interest in these activites or you would be spending alot of time apart!

kylith

I love my dogs, and luckily my OH does too. Not liking dogs would definitely be a dealbreaker for me.

seamus

No, not unreasonable at all. Animals/dogs aren't a hobby like golfing or model-building. They're full-time, 24x7, they're not something which you can put down for a week and pick up again later on.

So insisting that your partners are fully with you in this commitment is not only reasonable, I would say it's essential.

As a rule, my wife doesn't like anyone who claims to hate animals or hate dogs/cats. She reckons that anyone who has thought about it enough to actively hate animals cannot be a nice person. This is distinct from people who claim to not like animals or cats or dogs - they're usually just inexperienced around them or ignorant of them.

I know from her that she would have difficulty if I wasn't vegetarian because that would mean that I don't share a core ethical ideal of hers and in her mind that would make me an entirely different person.

I'd probably be the same tbh.

adser53

I think it's perfectly reasonable! Like Seamus said, they aren't a hobby, they're part of your life and your partner has to accept that if they are to accept you. (whoah thats some deep thinking )

Luckily my missus loves dogs (almost ) as much as me!

Raminahobbin

It's an absolute number one priority for me.

And it's not enough that they are dog-likers, they MUST be dog enthusiasts. I have been out with several lads before who have dogs, but consider them the 'family pet' or their 'mother's dog' and wouldn't take an active part in their care.

Whenever they met my crazy cocker spaniel, they were nervous or stand-offish with her. Or just made no effort to play with her. These lads 'liked' dogs, but they weren't really interested in treating a dog as more than just a presence in the house. It was obvious that she was going to forever be 'my dog' and they would never develop a personal relationship with her. This fact in itself put a massive block in the way of seeing a future with them. Dogs play a massive role in my ideal future, and any partner who can't get onboard fully with this idea, I have no time for.

My current OH adores my dog. ADORES her!!! He loves spending time with her, both with me and without me. He is interested in her for who she is and treats her as her own person (so to speak!). He's been fantastic helping me improve her training, he understands all the little things like that I can't just go out for a night out without making sure she has company (she gets nervous at night time by herself) and he loves playing with and walking her. He spoils her rotten :P

LucyBliss

My grandmother used to say "love me, love my dog". She once told me not to trust any person who didn't like animals or whom the dog didn't take to. She lived by those words. Back in the day, she once punched a man who insulted the dog she had at the time and threw him out of the house.
She was kinda hardcore.

kylith

LucyBliss wrote: »

My grandmother used to say "love me, love my dog". She once told me not to trust any person who didn't like animals or whom the dog didn't take to. She lived by those words. Back in the day, she once punched a man who insulted the dog she had at the time and threw him out of the house.
She was kinda hardcore.

She sounds like my kind of person.

I must admit that I started to think about what kind of future I could have with a guy I was with because my dogs had zero respect for him (i.e. he'd call them and they'd run to me, they refused to go for walks with him). He loved them, but they had no time for him, and that did contribute to me ultimately ending the relationship.

Graces7

Interesting question.

People can learn to like/love dogs.

I was never a dog lover; breeding Siamese for years and then taking in rescue cats..

I never had any real contact with dogs; did not have any close dealings with them and was not sure I would like to have one myself.

Then I was put in a situation where a dog or three was part of the scene..

Then the dog was left with me... and then came collie who needed rescuing so much...

It has taken a long time to get used to dogs, but would not have it any other way now.

So don;t rule out folk for that reason. People can learn!

Raminahobbin

yes people can learn...but it's hard to tell until they begin learning, which people are going to love 'em and which are going to continue disliking them.

It's actually a massive issue between my father and I.

He has never been a fan of dogs. We were given a german spitz when I was young, and had her for 7 years. My current cocker spaniel is nearly 7 years old. That's a total of 14 years with a dog around. And he has still NEVER, not once, referred to either of the dogs affectionally. He has never called them by their name. He has never petted them, or shown anything but annoyance towards them. He is not abusive towards them, but he hates being around them- hates when they bark (covers his ears and leaves the room) and hates that my dog gets so much attention from everyone.

kylith

Raminahobbin wrote: »

yes people can learn...but it's hard to tell until they begin learning, which people are going to love 'em and which are going to continue disliking them.

It's actually a massive issue between my father and I.

He has never been a fan of dogs. We were given a german spitz when I was young, and had her for 7 years. My current cocker spaniel is nearly 7 years old. That's a total of 14 years with a dog around. And he has still NEVER, not once, referred to either of the dogs affectionally. He has never called them by their name. He has never petted them, or shown anything but annoyance towards them. He is not abusive towards them, but he hates being around them- hates when they bark (covers his ears and leaves the room) and hates that my dog gets so much attention from everyone.

You're right.

I had a JRTx growing up who lived to the ripe old age of 16, before that my family had a collie, that's a total of, let's say, 25 years living with dogs and my mother still doesn't like them. She hates it when my 2 even sniff at her.

Discodog

This is nightmare for single male dog lovers in Ireland - speaks from experience . A lot of Irish females do not like dogs. Some will "like" the dog provided that it lives outdoors & she has no involvement in it's welfare. A tiny minority will understand that having two big dogs in the house that get regular kisses & cuddles is normal.

I was recently set up during a dinner party. Several jokes were made about my dogs living indoors (plenty here still find this odd). The female in question said "He would rather live with me than with them - they would soon be in a kennel !". Er wrong !.

A friend sent me a link to a dating site for animal lovers. Lots in America, many in the UK & none in Ireland. To me if someone shows kindness & compassion to an animal then this may indicate that they are a caring person. It should be a positive but clearly a lot of Irish women disagree - or maybe I need to shower more !.

Graces7

But people surely cannot help not being crazy re dogs; or having an aversion to them.

That is not the same as being cruel to them either.

Do you expect a friend to be exactly like you? To like the same foods etc?

Discodog

Like me ! - I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I guess that my dogs are my children. If she had children I would not expect them to live in a kennel !.

Raminahobbin

Graces7 wrote: »

But people surely cannot help not being crazy re dogs; or having an aversion to them.

That is not the same as being cruel to them either.

Do you expect a friend to be exactly like you? To like the same foods etc?

Friends are different. They are not people you intend to spend the rest of your life with in the same household. When it comes to choosing a partner, it's ESSENTIAL they understand and are compatible with a lifestyle choice such as having dogs around and being doggie people. If you're a doggie person it takes up alot of time and influences alot of decisions you will make. This is just a fact. You need to have someone around who understands this.

Like I mentioned before, I don't like leaving my dog by herself after dark. My friends roll their eyes and laugh about me. Then they do their own thing and I do mine, and no conflicts ensue. They just think I'm too babying of my dog, and it's passed off as harmless. But if my partner was not someone who understood stuff like this, it would cause arguments. As would my 4 hour comfort zone- I hate leaving my dog by herself for more than 4 hours.

Could you imagine if my partner was someone who wanted to go to the cinema and for dinner with me, and it took more than 4 hours and went on after dark and I had noone who could pop over to my dog and keep her company? I've had fights over this. I don't care. My dog comes first. When you meet someone who loves dogs, they understand all this and take it into account with no fuss. I've had a boyfriend who was quite content to leave his own family dog alone over night- feeding them at lunchtime and then back to feed them at dinnertime again the following day. To me this is unacceptable.

Being a doggie person is unlikely to cause arguments amongst friends. But it is, definately, going to cause arguments if your partner is not of a similar mindset.

EGAR

My life revolves around dogs obviously. I basically spend 24 hrs a day with dogs between the rescue and my own dogs. A partner would have to be at least accepting since I cannot see a guy understanding why he has to play second fiddle to my bullies . But I wont hold my breath .

LucyBliss

I think the problem is that a dog is more than a hobby. They're living creatures, who become our companions and best friends. When a new friend decides that they don't want them around and won't make an effort to understand how important they are in our lives and how so much of our routines revolve around them, it can be very hard. I like all my friends to get along and if I'm going to consider a relationship with somebody, they have to understand that my dogs have a big part in my life and come to terms with that. I'm all for compromise, but if you want me, then you take the dogs as well! You don't necessarily have to think they're the best thing ever, but you have to respect them and treat them well.

I couldn't make mine sleep outside at this point for love or money. I think the shock would kill me, never mind them!

boodlesdoodles

It took me 10 years to persuade my OH to get us a dog. Every dog he'd had as a child had died in tragic circumstances. I grew up in the country and we always had dogs, some died tragically, some died naturally, one even died in my mother's arms with all of the family around him. He was a JRT of immeasurable personality and beyond loved by all of us.

Now that we have a loony Westie the OH is sorry we didn't get a dog before now. Our dog has made our house complete, we're not children people. But I have a rule now that if you visit the house you accept that the dog is free to wander the rooms downstairs. If you don't like that don't call, he's not vicious and the worst he'd do is lick you to death! A friend of ours stayed a few months ago with his 'precious' now ex-girlfriend. She wouldn't step into the house until I'd put my dog on lead and kept him away from her. She refused to sit in the sitting room when he was loose. She insisted we lock him into the kitchen for the 1 night they stayed. Needless to say, I told our friend never again, he was welcome and anyone with him was but the dog is part of the family so visitors would have to accept it. Funny thing is the dog didn't like her from the start and it turned out she was a major b*tch!

Millie

Thankfully mo O/H is mad about my dog and in fact on the first night we met I got him home on the pretence of meeting my dog

However I think he initially found it a bit weird that the dog slept in the bedroom with me (in her own bed mind).
But now we're not complete until all three of us head to bed together each night

lrushe

Millie wrote: »

Thankfully mo O/H is mad about my dog and in fact on the first night we met I got him home on the pretence of meeting my dog

That's funny cos that was my bf's chat up line too
Must be "the way to a man's heart through his stomach"
"the way to a woman's heart is through her dog":D

Millie

lrushe wrote: »

That's funny cos that was my bf's chat up line too
Must be "the way to a man's heart through his stomach"
"the way to a woman's heart is through her dog":D

morganafay

I don't think I could spend my life with someone who didn't like animals. Since I'm always going to have a lot of them around, so it wouldn't be fair to make someone put up with that. I'd probably choose the animals over someone even if I really liked them!

And if someone likes animals, then it's usually a good indication of the person being a good person (but not Hitler, he didn't like cats).

Galway K9

Mad replies obviously its not just me. I heard a quote once and i swear by it "You can tell the goodness of a mans soul by the way he treats a dog". I broke ot off with ex and mostly because she expected me and found nothign wrong with me leaving my dogs at home all day. Now due to my self esteem which i am building, i accepted what she said and i thought i was the mad one, which i know i'm not was just so bullied in that relationship. Now i'm back to normal with the doggies making up for my wrongs.

Orla K

This would go for cats too. I couldn't be with someone that doesn't like Oscar (and the unnamed cat) or didn't care for him. I always think of the life he has had before I took him, he acted feral around people more so guys, he's alot better now but still I'd want a guy to be caring and loving to him. I don't think I'd get someone that understands his behaviour that doesn't like cats or animals. And to be honest I think there's something wrong with people that don't like or care for animals(and my brother is one that's indifferent to animals)

adser53

I had a lad asking me could he "borrow" Kai (my akita pup) to walk cos loads of women were "oohing and ahhing" at her in the park a few weeks back he was only joking of course

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

I don't think it's very reasonable at all. I mean, it's one part of many things in a relationship. It's too specific. Would you date somebody who had everything but this "trait"? If they were loving, caring and all the rest but just didn't like dogs, would you not date them?

I don't like many things, but wouldn't put somebody off because they didn't like something I did. It comes accross as childish if anything.

Different for caring for or being cruel. If they don't care to the point that the animal is in trouble, then it's a problem. If they simply don't like the animal but still care enough so that the animal is safe, then what's the problem?

seamus

Leandro Beautiful Termite wrote: »

Different for caring for or being cruel. If they don't care to the point that the animal is in trouble, then it's a problem. If they simply don't like the animal but still care enough so that the animal is safe, then what's the problem?

For the vast majority of people, the animal is a part of the family. And someone who is going to be a part of your family (i.e. in a relationship with you) needs to accept that. That's different from liking your mother-in-law; Your mother-in-law doesn't live with you and doesn't need your care and attention. You can get away with being civil to your MIL when you see her. You can't really get away with being civil to your partner's dog.

Many people would put it on a par with children. If a partner said, "Yeah sure you can have kids, but I don't want much to do with them, I'm not interested", most people would run a mile.

Graces7

Interesting replies indeed

Relationships are also interesting.

But I think it is very possible and probably healthy for spouses to have different interests and preoccupations.

Raminahobbin

seamus wrote: »

For the vast majority of people, the animal is a part of the family. And someone who is going to be a part of your family (i.e. in a relationship with you) needs to accept that. That's different from liking your mother-in-law; Your mother-in-law doesn't live with you and doesn't need your care and attention. You can get away with being civil to your MIL when you see her. You can't really get away with being civil to your partner's dog.

Many people would put it on a par with children. If a partner said, "Yeah sure you can have kids, but I don't want much to do with them, I'm not interested", most people would run a mile.

This is it exactly. If someone was a single parent with a kid, it would be number one on their list with a potential partner that they get on very well with the kid. Even if the person is caring, kind, and respects that you are a mother or a father, it's just not enough unless they are willing to develop a personal relationship with the kid. For anyone who loves their dog the way most people in this thread seem to, the requirements are exactly the same.

Love me, love my dog.

LucyBliss

Graces7 wrote: »

Interesting replies indeed

Relationships are also interesting.

But I think it is very possible and probably healthy for spouses to have different interests and preoccupations.

It absolutely is, I agree with you there. But I think it depends on what you define as an 'interest'. Sci-fi would be one of my interests, but I wouldn't give up on a relationship just because the guy thought it was rubbish so long as he shut up and let me watch my shows in peace!
But having a dog is not an interest of mine. I look upon dogs as companions and members of the family. It will take a serious change in financial circumstances and health for me not to have one in my life. Any future boyfriend would have to at least be tolerant of my dogs and their place in my life. I wouldn't be much pushed if he never had one before in his life before. Same as, if I wanted the relationship to go somewhere, I would try to understand and tolerate a situation where he might have a child or a busy job.
I suppose it boils down to if you care enough about the other person, you'll do your best to deal with whatever they bring with them to the relationship.

lrushe

Graces7 wrote: »

But I think it is very possible and probably healthy for spouses to have different interests and preoccupations.

This is true, for example while I'm typing away here my bf is playing his playstation or if I'm out doing a bit of gardening he could be out washing and polishing his car. Those imo are interests, but for me not loving my animals is deal breaker, they are not an interest they are a lifestyle, my life literally revolves around them

Steve30x

I am not pushed if somebody loves dogs but they better not try and make me chose between them and my bonny. It will always be my bonny I will chose.

Galway K9

Discodog wrote: »

This is nightmare for single male dog lovers in Ireland - speaks from experience . A lot of Irish females do not like dogs. Some will "like" the dog provided that it lives outdoors & she has no involvement in it's welfare. A tiny minority will understand that having two big dogs in the house that get regular kisses & cuddles is normal.

I was recently set up during a dinner party. Several jokes were made about my dogs living indoors (plenty here still find this odd). The female in question said "He would rather live with me than with them - they would soon be in a kennel !". Er wrong !.

A friend sent me a link to a dating site for animal lovers. Lots in America, many in the UK & none in Ireland. To me if someone shows kindness & compassion to an animal then this may indicate that they are a caring person. It should be a positive but clearly a lot of Irish women disagree - or maybe I need to shower more !.

Thanks thsi is exactly me! HA:D

liquoriceall

i would have to say that it would be a deal breaker for me i have one dog but my long term plan is to move back to the countryside specifically so i can have more dogs get hens etc, so there is no way i could go out with a guy if he didnt at least like the dog the dog with the view to loving him!!

liquoriceall

hey just a thought for someone with a bit of time on their hands (not me) could set up an irish internet dating animally themed website??

Morganna

Hence the reason im on my own...

Morganna

liquoriceall wrote: »

hey just a thought for someone with a bit of time on their hands (not me) could set up an irish internet dating animally themed website??

good idea

mymo

I have dogs, cats and a child....theres no hope for me:P
I do find it shocking the amount of people that come to my house and comment on my pets all being inside, i wouldn't dream of commenting on their furniture or decor saying "I wouldn't have that in my house".
As for finding someone who likes animals, and accepts they are as much a part of my life as my child....don't think its gonna happen.

Discodog

liquoriceall wrote: »

hey just a thought for someone with a bit of time on their hands (not me) could set up an irish internet dating animally themed website??

There are dating sites for animal lovers but no Irish people use them - yes I checked !. I have just made my prospects even worse as a new baby has joined my pack. One of my neighbours thought that I was mad to take in an adorable stray as I already have two big dogs. They said that I would not have room to move, to which I pointed out that my three dogs take up less space than a wife & kids !.

Whispered

I think if the person in question could accept the dogs/cats place in my life I could allow for them not being a huge animal lover. When I first moved in with my OH he tried to make me choose between him and my cats. Needless to say, I offered to pack his bags for him. He realised how serious I was and it was never brought up again. He never became best friends with them, but he accpted I love them and he looks after them as well as I do. Not from love of them, but for love of me.

I do prefer to have an OH who enjoys the great outdoors. Doing things with the dog takes up a lot of my free time, and it's not optional, it's necessary for his health and happiness so any partner would have to like it too.

EGAR

If it's not one thing then it is another .

I have quietly resigned myself to the fact that I will spend the rest of my life alone and misunderstood .

Living with Bull Breeds, running a Bull Breed Rescue and being outspoken and saying what I am thinking, foot-in-mouth disease so to say - I don't stand a chance on the dating market.

Whispered

*quietly wonders how EGAR and DiscoDog would get along* :pac:

EGAR

We know each other personally and no, it would not work .

Discodog

EGAR wrote: »

We know each other personally and no, it would not work .

I agree however I should point out that we are both really nice - wouldn't want to put anyone else off

Eibhin

Ah you sound lovely Discodog.


So what are the names of the Irish dating websites for animal lovers???!!!

My friends and family all think I am nuts too...4 dogs and 4 cats, 7 rabbits and a horse!

However I do think it's a good way to meet people as dogs are a major talking point when you bring them out. Everyone stops for a chat....just waiting for the right one to say "hey let's meet at the beach with all the dogs tomorrow"!!

Deeanimallover

Absolutly! I couldnt be with h2b if he didnt love dogs but thankfully he does

Now he wasnt mad about cats when he met me but thats coz he got turned off them in his friends house who had about 10 cats that sat up on the table/kitchen counter top etc and he didnt like that!

But he loves our 3 cats now!