What's the worst reaction you ever had when somebody found out about your sexuality?

cooltown

What's the worst reaction you ever had when somebody found out about your sexuality?

baby and crumble

I've been really lucky... my worst one was when one of my best friends (who was also an ex boyfriend) was told. He just said "i have to go to bed!", ran off and we didn't mention it for 6 months until i came out to all my other friends...

So really, i've had a grand time tbh.

rainbow kirby

From a (now-ex) friend: "You're only gay because no man would ever want to date you".

Needless to say, I stopped talking to him after that. Apart from that, all the other reactions were basically "Right so" or "Was totally expecting that", so nothing negative at all really.

Dr. Baltar

Half an hour of laughing from my mother with a serious faced me saying "no seriously" every now and again.

L1011

Two hours of "you're not, you can't be" from a friend is the worst, surprisingly.

Sir Ophiuchus

Half an hour of utter silence followed by them leaving.

We get on much better now.

AfterDusk

I got told I was just 'attention seeking'

wonderfulname

MYOB wrote: »

Two hours of "you're not, you can't be" from a friend is the worst, surprisingly.

Yeah thats horrid, I eventually threw my phone at them and said "Pick any name, ring them, and ask. Jesus theres a reason I never got round to telling you."

My mother probing about grandkids was pretty bad too..

Oh and my ex-boyfriend breaking into tears because he'd "turned" two women in a year.. poor pet lol..

Barna77

No bad reactions so far

crotalus667

wonderfulname wrote: »

Oh and my ex-boyfriend breaking into tears because he'd "turned" two women in a year.. poor pet lol..

sorry but I had to LOL:D

wonderfulname

crotalus667 wrote: »

sorry but I had to LOL:D

I know I felt so bad for him at the time but now its hilarious.. He doesn't think so though..

crotalus667

wonderfulname wrote: »

I know I felt so bad for him at the time but now its hilarious.. He doesn't think so though..

I am sure he will see the funny side at some point ,

I have had people get very vocal and even violent on me when they cop the dynamic between me and the two girls. The first thing people think of a guy in that situation is he is "using" them and quite a few people are moved to express their chivalry very vocally, and thankfully not often but occasionally physically.

It has happened more so in the last half year than the last 2 years because we are having a child now and this of course brings people to higher emotional crescendos. And thankfully also so far every physical confrontation has been stopped by someone else, or I came out of it the better. Long may both of those continue.

It has always been strangers or near strangers though. For the most part family and friends have been perfectly fine.

eightyfish

I was in Dragon one night talking to one of the barstaff who I know. This guy started talking to me and after a while he asked me if I wanted to go the the Boilerhouse. I hadn't read the signals properly at all, and told him sorry I'm straight. He looked really annoyed, and yelled "Well what the hell business do you have being in a gay bar!?!?!?" I said I was friends with the barstaff. He said "Well you're a disgrace!" and walked off.

DubArk

The worst for me was when I attended my Brothers birthday party and it was one of those Marquees in the garden, stand around, glass of wine in the hand occasions. I was mingling around talking to different folk; some I hadn’t seen in a very long time and of course many I had never met.

Standing chatting in a group of five one of the ladies ask me where was my partner was, she knew me, so I pointed in his direction, heads turned and this guy who was in our company exclaimed, “ HIM???”

I ignored him a continued to chat to this lady, hoping he would take that stupefied look off his face and stop doing the double take. Not long after he plucked up the courage to ask the question you never ask, with this inane grin plastered all over his red bloated face he blurts out, “Which one of you is the woman?” I said, playing it innocent, “What do you mean were both men?” No no this wasn’t taken as a hint to back right off, he proceeded to qualify he question, much to the amusement and horror of the rest of the company. “No I mean, in bed, which one of you is the woman?”

I just looked at him and said, “I’ll answer your question if you’ll tell me, does your wife like to give good head?” He went fu*cken berserk and took a swing at me, missed and he was held back by the rest of our company. I moved on and as there was a very large crowd, I managed to avoid him for the rest of the night.

The next morning whilst having breakfast in my brothers home; who should appear down the stairs? The gob****e himself… he immediately tried to start again by trying to state I was in the wrong and had disrespected his wife! Once explained, by me to my whole family exactly what happened, it was suggested that he leave and get breakfast else where.

Classy guy! :rolleyes:

eightyfish

DubArk wrote: »

I just looked at him and said, “I’ll answer your question if you’ll tell me, does your wife like to give good head?”

Best response ever!

deirdre_dub

OK - this wasn't about my sexuality - it was about my gender identity (I'm in transition).

"If I were you, I would wait 15 years, because by then, science should be able to cure you".

baby and crumble

OK - this wasn't about my sexuality - it was about my gender identity (I'm in transition).

"If I were you, I would wait 15 years, because by then, science should be able to cure you".

unfortunately for them no amount of years waiting will allow science to find a cure for being a knob. :rolleyes:

rere

Ok it's not a bad reaction like some of those just a little mind boggling.

When I told a friend I was Bi, he said;
"So does that mean you have sex with men and women at the same time?"
Followed by "I'm Irish, so it's all new to me"

azezil

A really ugly guy who used to keep staring at me, I thought he was just "special" or something, hit on me when he found out I too was gay

DubArk

azezil wrote: »

A really ugly guy who used to keep staring at me, I thought he was just "special" or something, hit on me when he found out I too was gay

Can Beggars be choosers Now?



*Jayus sur im only pullin ur leg!*

Annasopra

My Dad asked me if I had been abused

TylerIE

Mostly good although a few less than desirable...

One former close friend who was of the rugby jock type was shocked, and since I've told him we essentially have not spoke to each other.

A few girls seem to see a dynamic change - the gay guys they knew in the past were more demonstratively gay (Went to the toilets with them, etc) - and seeing as I dont do that theres a bit of awkwardness...

For the most part good - One friend is from a rural village, didnt know anybody gay or have any gay friends, etc. Had been kinda building myself up to tell him and went over to his house.... His housemates gf is over so we go to his bedroom to talk - already feeling awkward - then he starts telling me stories and showing me pics of his (male) housemates streaking the night before in their housing estate... awkwardness central for me - but his reaction was just "ohh right" and carried on as normal - not an issue, and not awkward to talk about since...

Another rugby-jock friend I was afraid of telling, and was kinda building up to tell just replied with saying "well Iv been with lads too"... turns out he was/is pretty much gayer than I am!

Heebie

My Mom kinda flipped out for a bit. I got to listen to things like "I didn't raise MY son to be THAT way" and "No 'friend' of yours will ever be welcome in my house!"

This was after the only two people that I'd ever told.. outed me to my parents.. because one of them had been caught messing around with another guy when he was 14 or so.. and his parents sent him to a baptist "counselor" who "cured" him.. he's still not right in the head as of the last time I saw him..and we're talking nearly 30 years since he was "cured" =O

Fortunately, Mom mellowed pretty quickly once the shrink my folks sent me to told her I was fine.. and that it seems that I'm "just gay"

I just wish I hadn't taken so long to figure it out myself. I was *SO* naive!

Dark Artist

The worst reaction was from one of my best friends - not because I'm gay, but because he didn't hear it from me personally. Actually I suspect he's in the closet himself, and it had something to do with that.

Also, my mum said to me,
"Oh it's great that you're gay, I never had a daughter!"

I said well if you haven't noticed, you still don't have one.

Not necessarily a bad reaction just innocent.

esposito

Dark Artist wrote: »

The worst reaction was from one of my best friends - not because I'm gay, but because he didn't hear it from me personally. Actually I suspect he's in the closet himself, and it had something to do with that.

Also, my mum said to me,
"Oh it's great that you're gay, I never had a daughter!"

I said well if you haven't noticed, you still don't have one.

Not necessarily a bad reaction just innocent.

Haha brilliant!

For me, no bad reactions so far...

Heebie

Johnnymcg wrote: »

My Dad asked me if I had been abused

That was one of the things my parents asked me after my Mum's tirades.. I'd forgotten that bit.

Heebie

Definitely some ignorance there.. but that's adorable.. and a pretty amazing level of acceptance at the same time.

Dark Artist wrote: »

Also, my mum said to me,
"Oh it's great that you're gay, I never had a daughter!"

I said well if you haven't noticed, you still don't have one.

Nebit

Decided to tell the rugby lads so thought id tell my best mate 1st so it'd be less awkward, his reply was 'you cant be gay?? you like sport and ****??' to which i laughed. Then a complete change of conversation. (in other news the lads were sound)

Worst reaction was from a girl i used to go out with who i told in a nightclub.... she sat on the seats with her mouth open the rest of the night while her new bf asked what was wrong.

Then there was the case where a girl i went to school with found out from another friend came up to me and spat in my face. recently i've discovered her best friend is gay so that'll be interesting.

And yeah the which one is the woman thing has come up a few times too :S

esposito

Nebit wrote: »

Then there was the case where a girl i went to school with found out from another friend came up to me and spat in my face. recently i've discovered her best friend is gay so that'll be interesting.

That's horrible and disgusting. Did you have many girlfriends before you came out?

Nebit

esposito wrote: »

That's horrible and disgusting. Did you have many girlfriends before you came out?

i've had a few girlfriends in the past yes. Came out as Bi and realised i was gay when i had my first relationship with a man.
As for that particular girl, feck it, spitting tells people all they need to know about her.

mrDerek

Nebit wrote: »

Then there was the case where a girl i went to school with found out from another friend came up to me and spat in my face. recently i've discovered her best friend is gay so that'll be interesting.

id bate her haha
im not gay so i dont have any coing out experiences :O

MicraBoy

My Mam made a noise like she had been sucker punched in the gut when I told her. It wasn't that terrible and my parents are very accepting people, but I just can't get the sound out my brain. It's burned into my memory.

azezil

Johnnymcg wrote: »

My Dad asked me if I had been abused

Sorry, probably rather inappropriate of me to say but I laughed out loud when I read that!

wonderfulname

Quick question, kinda fits in with the topic, how long do you think you can get away with going to every one of your partners family events as the "best friend"? Its been 2years now, and we're just out of those teenage years where you actually do drag a friend to everything.. I'm starting to get a tad worried..

On the plus side they're wonderfully sheltered country folk

Black Dog

A peculiar reaction: two middle-aged gay men have been friends of ours and regular visitors to our house for over twenty years. They were friends and visitors before our youngest was born. He is now 18. Our friends sexuality was never discussed - there simply was nothing to discuss, if you know what I mean; it wasn't an issue. One of these friends was more prominent in our friendship that the other - he was the one we first met and first got to know. My son, from when he was a very young child, used always refer to the two of them as "The Hogans" (not the real name), in other words, they were obviously in his mind a couple. In his mid teens something about homosexuality came up in conversation at home and we pointed out that "The Hogans", as he called them, was gay. The look on his face was fabulous - astonishment and "well, of course they are, it's obvious they are, I've known they are for years".

It was an excellent education for a young boy at that homophobic stage of development.

elekid

Only "bad" reaction was from one of my best friends who was annoyed I'd told almost everyone else before I told him, because he'd figured it out and thought I was intentionally keeping it from him. He was grand when I finally took the time to sit and chat with him about it - I've been really lucky!

keepkeyyellow

wonderfulname wrote: »

Quick question, kinda fits in with the topic, how long do you think you can get away with going to every one of your partners family events as the "best friend"? Its been 2years now, and we're just out of those teenage years where you actually do drag a friend to everything.. I'm starting to get a tad worried..

On the plus side they're wonderfully sheltered country folk

My ex went to a christening with his actual best friend while dating me, for the whole night people kept going so this is your BEST friend eh eh eh ? And he was like...eh yah:) The best friend was married with kids so some people thought he was like a home wrecker by the end of the night

L.Jenkins

I've read of an intense reaction to someone being transgendered in another forum. I hope ye don't mind me posting this here, but he told his family that he wanted a sex change and they threatened to kill him.

I fear the same reaction or something similar from my family so I'm staying in the closet until I have a full time job and an apartment.

shoegirl

Barna77 wrote: »

No bad reactions so far

Is havng your nose broken a bad reaction?

Also being told by your mother "I'd rather you came home and said you were pregnant" (lone parents are the devil incarnate too of course).

I had years of abuse and sulking from parents, until eventually one day I just left the country and didn't tell them (since they had refused to speak to me for 2 months). That kinda changed everything, once they realised that I could and would walk away, they became a little more "tolerant" if you consider just never talking about it to be so.

Mind you, friend of mine's parents tried to force her to see a psych. She hasn't spoken to them in over 20 years now.

wonderfulname

shoegirl wrote: »

Mind you, friend of mine's parents tried to force her to see a psych. She hasn't spoken to them in over 20 years now.

That sounds like the most brilliant thing a closed minded parent can accidentally do, send their kid to someone who will not only understand them, but reassure them, and then attempt to enlighten said closed minded parents for the kid.

Well, thats these days anyway..

My parents did that too, but only when they presented me to my local GP with what they decided was depression - the idiot asked me was I pregnant, I laughed and said I don't think girls can do that, so she promptly decided my alleged confusion about my sexuality was the root cause of my non existent depression.. She also decided I was on drugs because I freaked out a little when she tried to take bloods.. she must think everyones on drugs..
Didn't like that woman very much..

True story

steel_spine

My mother flat out ignored me for several months, to the point of walking out of the livingroom if she came in and I happened to be in it, before chucking me out of the house at the age of 15.
Stayed with my dad full-time from then, for some reason didn't feel the burning desire to officially tell him after that :rolleyes: though I'm sure he knows.
I am now very independent, havn't spoken to her since (now 27) and don't go back to my home village very often.
My life eventually went pretty well without her and I'm now quite happy and living with my curent gf, so no great loss I guess.

st_andalou

It was definitely my dad. I told him and my mother one night (I was 18). He just sat there in silence. Later he came to my room and asked me to keep quiet about it and not tell anyone in our town. He told me my male friends would not want to know me and that my younger sisters would get bullied in school.

He wasn't threatening as such, it was kind of like blackmail. Later he got really drunk, came home, and I heard him asking my mum if she blamed him for her son being gay. It was mortifying!

It took him years to come around. We're still not open about it. He'll never ask about that aspect of my life -- and probably never will.

Sometimes that stony silence can hurt more than outright rejection.

wonderfulname

st_andalou wrote: »

"blamed him for me being gay".

This thread is bringing out the worst memories.. my dad was like that but he was fine with me.. confused me for a while but it turns out his only issue was himself and he'd been living a lie all his life.. poor man..

not suggesting your dads gay btw, just in case thats how it sounds..

Dr. Baltar

st_andalou wrote: »

Sometimes that stony silence can hurt more than outright rejection.

That is so so true.

L.Jenkins

This may be difficult for everyone involved, but is a good insight into how family could react. I've learned from experiences provided, to wait until I'm living on my own before I spill the beans. I know most probably don't have that option.

stephen_n

Upon telling my girlfriend I was Bi she broke down crying, I was a bit naive at the time to peoples insecurity around bisexuality needless to say it eventually broke that relationship up and I learned a lesson around disclosure!

crotalus667

stephen_n wrote: »

Upon telling my girlfriend I was Bi she broke down crying, I was a bit naive at the time to peoples insecurity around bisexuality needless to say it eventually broke that relationship up and I learned a lesson around disclosure!

Did you say you where Bi or you where Bi and wanted permision to sleep with other people ???

gibson

Probably the funniest was "but you cant be you like football" :rolleyes:

I've had a guy who played in a band with me and was a decent mate just suddenly stop talking to me all together. I've been told "dont worry we'll fix you" ...that was a drunken work night out

I had an Irish girl who lived in the same area as me (which i didnt know at the time) stop talking to me on the dancefloor of a club in Sydney cause she found out i was gay. When she sat down and i asked her what was wrong she refused to speak to me!

The worst was definitely making out i was a "disappointment" for being gay and my mum wouldve been happier if i told her i got a girl pregnant lol oh the naivety

DubArk

stephen_n wrote: »

Upon telling my girlfriend I was Bi she broke down crying, I was a bit naive at the time to peoples insecurity around bisexuality needless to say it eventually broke that relationship up and I learned a lesson around disclosure!

I think it's a case of Bye Bi!

lionchild

best reaction ever!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46WSydfCMSQ