19 and still waiting

LC2010HIS

hey girls!
For anyone older than myself, does dating get better? In regards to "dating" i still feel like im 15. Sitting, waiting.
I do get out there, but every guy just seems to go out with their mates exes!

Please tell me it gets better! Sex and the city makes me feel like im dead lol

Gyalist

I would hope that, at 19, you would have understood by now that Sex and the City is make-believe.

mojesius

I gather from your name that you just completed your leaving cert? When all my girl/boy mates and I finished there was a lot of post-exam summer shennanigans going on. Enjoy your summer. Are you going to college in Sept? Thousands of new boys, nights out, way more avenues to meet new people. these people going for each other's exes will be but a dim memory..:)

LC2010HIS

mojesius wrote: »

I gather from your name that you just completed your leaving cert? When all my girl/boy mates and I finished there was a lot of post-exam summer shennanigans going on. Enjoy your summer. Are you going to college in Sept? Thousands of new boys, nights out, way more avenues to meet new people. these people going for each other's exes will be but a dim memory..:)

yeah, i may be repeating - BUT hopefully in a PLC with new people...so!!

LC2010HIS

Gyalist wrote: »

I would hope that, at 19, you would have understood by now that Sex and the City is make-believe.

lol i know that! i was joking

mojesius

LC2010HIS wrote: »

yeah, i may be repeating - BUT hopefully in a PLC with new people...so!!

Best of luck with the course and enjoy all the new men

WindSock

Waiting for what exactly? Prince Charming to come and sweep you off your feet on his fancy steed made out of sparkly diamonds and chocolate to the land of chocolate and diamonds? :pac:

You could always try approaching guys yourself when you are out, or broadening your social circle. Hopefully September will bring some more people and opportunities for you as already mentioned, but you can't sit there waiting and expecting to be chatted up all the time. You don't have to throw yourself around like a slapper to get attention either, just assert yourself a little more with the opposite sex and see what happens

Lux23

I don't really understand what you are waiting for? A date or something more meaningful?

RacoonQueen

WindSock wrote: »

Waiting for what exactly? Prince Charming to come and sweep you off your feet on his fancy steed made out of sparkly diamonds and chocolate to the land of chocolate and diamonds? :pac:

Oh, if only!

Dudess

Not being needy vastly increases attractiveness. And the women in S&TC are more than twice your age.

The_Morrigan

WindSock wrote: »

Waiting for what exactly? Prince Charming to come and sweep you off your feet on his fancy steed made out of sparkly diamonds and chocolate to the land of chocolate and diamonds? :pac:

Disney has a lot to answer for!!

OP to be honest at 19 you shouldn't be expecting SATC style dates or relationships - you should be going out and having fun and enjoying the fact that your 19 and you don't have a care in the world and you don't need to be tied down to one guy while you're figuring out who you are and what you want to be when you grow up.

When I was 19 I was three years into a relationship and my college years were all messed up cos he was a year behind me, then in a different college and county and we were both miserable - while we were apart growing up (well at least I grew up), we also grew apart, fought, jealousy set in etc - it was a bloody disaster.

Also usually when you're not actively looking for "prince charming" you find him. My mother used to always tell me don't go looking for Mr Right, go looking for Mr. Right Now.

Professey Chin

Dudess wrote: »

Not being needy vastly increases attractiveness. And the women in S&TC are more than twice your age.

And thats being generous to them!

Dont worry OP.Once you get to find out how evil us men are youll be wondering why wou were concerned in the 1st place :pac:

mariebeth

I'll just give one piece of advice, and that's: enjoy it. Don't be worrying about the future and wishing your life away, just get out there, have fun, and don't be too serious about finding a relationship. You're still so young, you should enjoy every minute of being young and single.

But to answer your original question, yes, it does get better. But oddly enough I've been going out with a guy for the last year, who I had a bit of a fling with back when we were 19 and having stayed friends long enough we're now in a committed relationship, so you never know what'll happen down the road.

princess-lala

Sweet lord I'm 25 and at 19 I was seeing boys, now I meet men!

Yes it does get better but your 19 not 90! Go out and enjoy yourself with your friends

me_right_one

You're 19 and your posting stuff like this? You should be worrying about what Santy will bring ya, not lamenting "I just got divorced and now I cant find a good man" style!

Xiney

If there's anything I've learned it's the following:

1) Boys don't like approaching girls any more than girls like approaching boys. So suck it up, someone's gotta go for it, it might as well be you.

2) Boys aren't interested in things that aren't interesting By and large most "nice" guys (tip: the ones you'd want to be dating) say that personality is the most important thing. While you wait for the right guy to come along (so you can go for him), improve yourself by reading books, keeping abreast of current events, and beautifying your soul. Also, learn to tell jokes. Keep a reserve of funny stories. Funny stories don't just happen sitting on the couch watching Big Brother. Get out of your comfort zone. You can't burp in your salsa instructor's face if you're not taking salsa lessons.

3) Be patient, but stop looking. Just be confident and have a great time with your friends.

fuzzywossy

OMG your 19 .... please stop worrying about what might happen and get out there and make things happen. Your so young, you have your whole life ahead of you so start enjoying it. When your least expecting it you will meet someone, but whats your hurry, enjoy being young free and single.

Raedwald

Your 19 not middle aged and nothing to show for life. Get out there and have fun, enjoy being young and single. Relationships when your in them are great and all when your in them, but there is many a day when you'll wish your single and not tied to this guy who is wrecking our head and taking up all your free time.

Xiney, is right lads hate approaching girls for fear of rejection. But the best thing is basically live by the old adage of Carpe Diem and live for the moment.

Webmonkey

There's no rush. You young yet. Get your life sorted first and worry about relationships later - I did and I'm glad.

BumbleB

LC2010HIS wrote: »

hey girls!
For anyone older than myself, does dating get better? In regards to "dating" i still feel like im 15. Sitting, waiting.
I do get out there, but every guy just seems to go out with their mates exes!

Please tell me it gets better! Sex and the city makes me feel like im dead lol

Oh lord ! dont take your cues from a ridiculous tacky stupid american fantasy that has nothing to do with your generation or real life in general, and as well as that disempowers women in a very subtle way, your 19 for christ sake .

Get out and about ,go to where the fellas ,there's plenty of sk8r s boi's all over dublin ,go to kings of concrete next year and you will see loads of guys I'm sure you would like. Fit intersting guys that have other interest other than drinking flagons in the back of the car park on a sat night.

For most people that come from same sex schools college is usually where we all get our experiences from so hang tough ,youre only 19 life is just beginning ......

highlydebased

OP, I'm a guy and just turning 19 and feel similar to you- like I'll forever be single, though thats very untrue. I've found that searching all of the time for someone never works out, and if it does yield someone it never lasts very long and is upsetting. Hence, I think that just put yourself out there, someone will come along EVENTUALLY, when you least expect it, thats what I think anyway.

As regards 'scoring' in clubs, well, some people are into that sort of thing, I'm not. Not ideal for finding someone to keep, IMO. I find it very hard to approach girls in clubs as do many guys, so I would not take it personally at all. On the other hand if a girl approached me I'd be very flattered!

starlit

To be honest i don’t think you should worry about it too much! When I was 19 i was in the same thinking as yourself but you know what i did?! I went out and had fun and enjoyed myself with my friends and randomly met guys when at college and when i went out. No need to worry about serious relationships until you are my age! I’m now 25 or at least until you are in your 20s!! Now i more or less just get to know lads i meet without anything more happening which I prefer. Rather get to know them as a person before going any further with them.

I met my ex when i was 21 but he was one of the lads you describe who goes out with his mates exe's and vice versa. He was a year younger than me at the time we went out together but i didn’t want anything to do with his sort of well courtship stuff when he asked me to go out with not just one of his mates i didn’t know but two of them after me and my ex broke up! Talk about childish! To be honest guys don’t grow out of that sort of thing until well into their 20s believe me! So it doesn’t get any better when you be in your early 20s! But guys do grow up well some of them others are just well what you call a ‘manchild’. A guy that doesn’t want to grow up and not own up to responsibilities and wants to have fun and party all the time!

Would you not consider going out with an older guy if you say you want to go the serious relationship route? You be better off out enjoying yourself with your friends, having fun meeting guys of all sorts, all ages etc wherever you can. Also its about getting to know yourself knowing that you like and love yourself and are happy will appeal to guys more. Knowing what you like and don’t like about guys is another thing! Its fun though to find out rather than ending up in a relationship you’d regret! Be yourself as well often love happens when you least expect it! don’t wait too long as you don’t know what you are missing! You need to be brazen when it comes to meeting guys though, my trick was always to compliment them regardless! Be friendly though, but a bit of light hearted teasing will win a few fellas hearts i’m sure! Be careful not to offend them cause that could make you put your foot in it won’t go down well with them. Look out for their signals as they can be easy to miss! The best way to a mans heart is not just through his stomach or anywhere else but with a sense of humor! Guys love a laugh! you need to kiss a few frogs before you meet your prince! Try to smile when you talk to them and be confident let your hair down and enjoy their company.

enjoy college!

IrishEyes19

I'm not going to reprimand you at all for being too young to worry about this stuff, because everyone goes through it at 19, and when you're 19 and someone breaks your heart, it hurts terribly even though it's a sure fact that you will move on and find someone better.

Of course it will get better for you, as many posters here have said, it will happen when you least expect it. But right now, it does hurt because sometimes 19 year old girls want a lot more in a relationship than a 19 year old boy does, its just the simple fact that boys and girls mature differently in relationships and girls tend to want a more serious road. But you will get on that road eventually when you learn to be content being single. It's a hard thing when you see everyone around you getting into relationships, but people who look happy on the outside arent nesscessarily happy in their relationship. and to be honest relationships are hard going for when your mature and settled never mind 19, as you have to find a healthy balance between your friends and your new bf and also maintain independence and feel reassured in that relationship that nothing about you has changed to make it work.

And right now you possibly just need to hang out with your friends and raise your self esteem a little more. You will be amazed as you start feeling good about yourself, how others will see that too...and a word of advice, joining clubs, going out with friends leads to meeting their friends and many house sessions which often lead to meeting similar minded people. Having said all that, a bf isn't the be all and end all, and you should never settle for just anyone or lose your self respect in the process. Best of luck!

angelxx

OP I'm also 19 and honestly neither myself nor my friends worry about dating. We've all been through breakups and dating the wrong guy but that's a part of life. At any age you are going to meet guys who don't suit you. I think you should go out with your friends and enjoy college where you wil meet a whole new group of guys. Try not to focus on dating and it will naturally happen.

IrishEyes19

angelxx wrote: »

OP I'm also 19 and honestly neither myself nor my friends worry about dating. We've all been through breakups and dating the wrong guy but that's a part of life. At any age you are going to meet guys who don't suit you. I think you should go out with your friends and enjoy college where you wil meet a whole new group of guys. Try not to focus on dating and it will naturally happen.

angel, I agree with you too. I'm 19 also and to be honest most relationships at this age go pair-shaped anyway, lol, and hurt. But if those guy's can move on as fast as we've seen they can, so can we I think and we deserve to!! Life is way to short to cry tears over a guy who wont over you!! Especially when most guys in college are only out to have fun and nothing serious anyway.

angelxx

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

angel, I agree with you too. I'm 19 also and to be honest most relationships at this age go pair-shaped anyway, lol, and hurt. But if those guy's can move on as fast as we've seen they can, so can we I think and we deserve to!! Life is way to short to cry tears over a guy who wont over you!! Especially when most guys in college are only out to have fun and nothing serious anyway.

Exactly, There is no way most guys our age are looking for a long term relationship, They want to have fun and hang out with their friends. I'm not generalising but it isn't worth analysing at our age, If it happens, then that's great but there is certainly no need to pressurise yourself. OP concentrate on college and enjoying yourself, your only young once.

nkay1985

Xiney wrote: »

If there's anything I've learned it's the following:

1) Boys don't like approaching girls any more than girls like approaching boys. So suck it up, someone's gotta go for it, it might as well be you.

2) Boys aren't interested in things that aren't interesting By and large most "nice" guys (tip: the ones you'd want to be dating) say that personality is the most important thing. While you wait for the right guy to come along (so you can go for him), improve yourself by reading books, keeping abreast of current events, and beautifying your soul. Also, learn to tell jokes. Keep a reserve of funny stories. Funny stories don't just happen sitting on the couch watching Big Brother. Get out of your comfort zone. You can't burp in your salsa instructor's face if you're not taking salsa lessons.

3) Be patient, but stop looking. Just be confident and have a great time with your friends.

A month later but this is really good advice. Kudos to you Xiney, on point number 2 especially.

Sulkinskimpy

Neon-Circles wrote: »

OP, I'm a guy and just turning 19 and feel similar to you- like I'll forever be single, though thats very untrue. I've found that searching all of the time for someone never works out, and if it does yield someone it never lasts very long and is upsetting. Hence, I think that just put yourself out there, someone will come along EVENTUALLY, when you least expect it, thats what I think anyway.

As regards 'scoring' in clubs, well, some people are into that sort of thing, I'm not. Not ideal for finding someone to keep, IMO. I find it very hard to approach girls in clubs as do many guys, so I would not take it personally at all. On the other hand if a girl approached me I'd be very flattered!

I don't know but this could be the answer to both your woes

Have fun when your young girl-wait till you hit college, the possibilities and experiences are endless

LegacyUser

OP, at 19 I met a guy, at 20 I had a baby, at 24 I bought a house, at 25 I got engaged and at 26 I found myself as a single mother.

I'm 28 now, still single but happy.

My advice is that you'll be tied to a man long enough. Go and enjoy the rest of your teens and your 20s. 30+ is still plenty young to be meeting someone and thinking about getting married and having kids and settling down.

I used to think my friends were envious of me. Doting fiancee, lovely house, lovely child, good job........ while they were all single, flat sharing, part time jobbing...

But now how the tables have turned. They have careers, not jobs. They have travelled. They have disposable income, city breaks, weekends away.
They are meeting men who are charming, educated and know how to treat a gal. Whereas I get the morons who think single mum = easy lay.
I've no disposable income, no weekends away.

It will get better, I know that. But I really wish I hadn't been so eager to play grown ups. Cos it's bloody hard work.

I agree with Xiney - this isn't the 1950's anymore - it's OK for a girl to approach a guy and ask them out.

Have you tried the world of online dating?

I'm 25 and have only started going on "dates" maybe last year? There's no rush.