The man always pays - Big Bowl of Wrong?

Cullen82

Was listening to a phone show last night, The topic being the title of this thread.

Have to say I was absolutely gobsmacked at the women that came on with the attitude of "the man should always pay". Now on the likes of a first date I would normally look to pay for her share myself , dinner or whatever it was, but these women were of the opinion that they should never put their hands in their pockets regardless of whether they're together weeks, months etc unless the man asks them to >>>>>>>so effectively they try to get away without paying anything on a night out.

I got so enraged last night driving home from work listening to this that I HAD TO switched stations in fear that I might crash the car in a haze of disbelief................. only to switch back again 5 minutes later out of curiousity when I became even more enraged at the idiots (men) who actually allow this to happen!

It's such a Big Bowl of Wrong and I could not believe (hoping that most women were not actually like this) how few women seemed to care about this "shower" giving them a bad name....the name being gold-diggers!

Anyway in this day/age where women command equality whether it be status,wages or whatever why do so many women seem to have this ridiculous theory and whats more why do they not seem to have any morals when it comes to letting a man pay for them ??

InTheTrees

Cullen82 wrote: »

It's such a Big Bowl of Wrong

Better than a Bucket Of Fail...

KeithM89_old

One way or another, the man always pays.

The_Kew_Tour

I dont mind paying maybe on first night or whatever but I would never date person who wants me to pay all the time.

Feck that. I dont owe Anglo Irish.

mikemac

Was this the Adrian Kennedy show OP?
You do realise they plant people on the show just to enrage people and get a reaction?

Silverfish

Don't listen to those shows. They filter out the callers just to get the most controversial ones on the air.

You'll end up with heart problems listening to them.

The imaginary rules are:

The person who does the asking out pays. The person who is asked out should do the decent thing of offering to pay. The second date, the person who paid last time does not pay.

That said, I've met blokes who REFUSE to let the woman pay, lest they be seen as mean, then go moan that women won't pay. So sometimes they do it to themselves. And those women then go on to go out with someone else, and think it's the norm that the guy pays, cos that's what the last guy convinced them of.

Or else they're just eejits, so it's a good eejit filter too.

Deus Ex Machina

You're just trying to coin a phrase aren't you?

Tefral

adrian280582 wrote: »

I dont own Anglo Irish.

I think youll find you do now thanks to nama lol:P

OP, i dont mind paying once or twice, but ive never been out with a woman who has allowed me to keep paying after the 2nd time out.. Normally they insist.. In fairness if a woman wouldnt put her hand in her pocket then, i doubt she will be likely to change say if you were together 4 years and engaged or something.

In my experience this doesnt happen so maybe ive been lucky or alot of fellas out there have been unlucky?

CuppaCocoa

Switch to Lyric FM! Those kind of shows are only for low-lifes!

Cullen82

Silverfish wrote: »

Or else they're just eejits, so it's a good eejit filter too.

Nice

Feelingstressed, Yeah that's the one - Well it worked this time. I would'nt mind but a couple of my exes were on it so I only realised last night I'd been taken for a ride

Lando Griffin

If the woman is a looker and you might score with her yes pay for everything but if you get the feeling she is not "easy" then why bother.

alwaysadub

I hate people constantly paying for me! Does my head in. I actually nearly broke up with a fella cos of it- he eventually got the message.

Take turns or pay your own way, that's the way i do things.

easyeason3

If myself & the otherhalf are on a night out then we take turns to buy rounds.

If we are out for dinner he pays all the time & I don't see anything wrong with that.

Cullen82

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

You're just trying to coin a phrase aren't you?

Big Bowl of Wrong? I always use it,think it's gas. Unfortunatly Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm coined it before me.

On the other hand: You're just trying to put someone down are'nt you?

stovelid

Man pay: woman had better lay.

SugarHigh

lilybarlean wrote: »

Switch to Lyric FM! Those kind of shows are only for low-lifes!

You realise they do pretty much the same thing" After Hours" does?

Chinafoot

easyeason3 wrote: »

If myself & the otherhalf are on a night out then we take turns to buy rounds.

If we are out for dinner he pays all the time & I don't see anything wrong with that.

Of course you don't, you're not paying.

Personally I think women who happily let their boyfriends pay for everything are pond scum.

Prof.Badass

IRISH WOMEN IN "EQUALITY WHEN IT SUITS US" SHOCKER :eek::eek::eek:.

Alter-Ego

easyeason3 wrote: »

If myself & the otherhalf are on a night out then we take turns to buy rounds.

If we are out for dinner he pays all the time & I don't see anything wrong with that.

Gold-Digger

easyeason3

Chinafoot wrote: »

Of course you don't, you're not paying.

Personally I think women who happily let their boyfriends pay for everything are pond scum.

And he doesn't see anything wrong with me cooking all the time, cleaning the house, picking his skidmark jocks up off the floor etc, so forgive me for being pond scum :rolleyes:

Cullen82

Chinafoot wrote: »

Of course you don't, you're not paying.

Personally I think women who happily let their boyfriends pay for everything are pond scum.

Precisely, Unless married this should not happen everytime you go out for dinner. Sure he may aswell lend you 5 grand now and that way you can use it to pay for "your half" for the rest of the year

Delicate_Dlite

I would hate for a man to pay for me, first date or not. I am not their responsiblity, and would never keep seeing a man if he saw me paying for myself as a threat.

When I've a bf, I'd only let him pay for a dinner if it was my birthday, and even then I'd insist on buying drinks. I always take turns (rounds) or just pay my share.

Cullen82

Delicate_Dlite wrote: »

I would hate for a man to pay for me, first date or not. I am not their responsiblity, and would never keep seeing a man if he saw me paying for myself as a threat.

When I've a bf, I'd only let him pay for a dinner if it was my birthday, and even then I'd insist on buying drinks. I always take turns (rounds) or just pay my share.

Sound, God should have made more of you;)

easyeason3

Cullen82 wrote: »

Precisely, Unless married this should not happen everytime you go out for dinner. Sure he may aswell lend you 5 grand now and that way you can use it to pay for "your half" for the rest of the year

Here's an idea for you. Instead of making a general assumption that I'm some kind of free loader why don't you try to see the bigger picture.

He pays for dinner whenever we go out, not because I insist & get the snot up if he doesn't. I have plenty of money to pay for it if required.

If I was to half every expense for the house with him then believe me his wallet would be a lot lighter.

stovelid

Chinafoot wrote: »

Of course you don't, you're not paying.

Personally I think women who happily let their boyfriends pay for everything are pond scum.

A little harsh. I think she said they go dutch on nights out, just not on dinner, no?

As a man. I think the idea of paying is elastic and subject to circumstance. It doesn't always have to 50/50 if somebody isn't working or earns less.

Obviously I wouldn't respect somebody who never paid regardless of circumstances, which I find archaic. The only time I can think of when it would be OK is if one partner is working in the home (as in the very real work of brining up children) and the other was the 'breadwinner'.

Delicate_Dlite

Cheers, but God had little to do with it, but my parents did make two others.

sam34

i dont keep an exact count on it with my fella - sometimes one of us pays for dinner and the other buys the drinks afterwards, other times we go 50/50, other times one person pays for everything


i odnt think any one person should consistently pay for everything, thats just taking the piss

shebango

I really hate being paid for. It makes me extremely uncomfortable.

I like to pay my way. Paying half is the way to go.:)

kisaragi

It's kind of circumstantial... I mean, I was with a guy (and I'm also a guy) for a long time, and me being a student with not so much money and him being in full time employment meant that when we did end up doing something that involved a lot of money he usually paid most of it. I'd try to reciprocate by contributing what I could afford to.

I wouldn't ask to be taken out somewhere if I couldn't afford it, but if your partner wants to do something and they know you don't have the money and are happy to help pay then I think that's ok.

Cullen82

easyeason3 wrote: »

Here's an idea for you. Instead of making a general assumption that I'm some kind of free loader why don't you try to see the bigger picture.

Meow

Haha fair enough, I did assume & you're not a free loader>Apologies:D

Chinafoot

easyeason3 wrote: »

And he doesn't see anything wrong with me cooking all the time, cleaning the house, picking his skidmark jocks up off the floor etc, so forgive me for being pond scum :rolleyes:

Sounds like you should get yourself a new fella then, doesn't it? Or, you know maybe, split things equally since you both have plenty of money.

easyeason3

Chinafoot wrote: »

Sounds like you should get yourself a new fella then, doesn't it? Or, you know maybe, split things equally since you both have plenty of money.

Well it works for us so no there's no need to get myself a new fella.

And splitting things equally wouldn't work because his side of things would not be done, or if they were they would be done in a half arsed way.

Chinafoot

easyeason3 wrote: »

Well it works for us so no there's no need to get myself a new fella.

And splitting things equally wouldn't work because his side of things would not be done, or if they were they would be done in a half arsed way.

Well its nice to know your martyrdom is rewarded in meals in a restaurant.

pickarooney

Chinafoot wrote: »

Sounds like you should get yourself a new fella then, doesn't it? Or, you know maybe, split things equally since you both have plenty of money.

Why the hell should she get herself a new fella because you don't like the way they split their expenses?

Dealbreaker!

easyeason3

Chinafoot wrote: »

Well its nice to know your martyrdom is rewarded in meals in a restaurant.

What the fcuk is your problem?
The OP asked a question, I answered it & had to explain myself because people assumed I'm some sort of sponge.

Martyrdom? Get a life FFS.

Delicate_Dlite

And splitting things equally wouldn't work because his side of things would not be done, or if they were they would be done in a half arsed way.

I know it's your life and choice, and if it works for you two, great. But if this is a man your married to and has a good job. Which would indicate he is a reasonable, caring, intelligent and competent man, and yet you think of him as either not capable of using a washing machine etc (hardly rocket science) or unwilling to pull his fair share. (lazy)

easyeason3

Delicate_Dlite wrote: »

I know it's your life and choice, and if it works for you two, great. But if this is a man your married to and has a good job. Which would indicate he is a reasonable, caring, intelligent and competent man, and yet you think of him as either not capable of using a washing machine etc (hardly rocket science) or unwilling to pull his fair share. (lazy)

Oh he's well capable of doing things for himself. But it's a mixture of laziness on his part & me having to have things done a certain way. I like a clean house, not a half clean house so it's easier if I do it. Same goes for grocery shopping, there's certain shops I get stuff because of the quality & freshness whereas he would just buy anything.

He works hard so I don't mind doing it & to be fair I like doing things like cleaning, cooking, shopping etc my own way so instead of me nagging him to do it or do it my way it's an easier life for both of us if I just do it.

Delicate_Dlite

Ok, like I say it's your life and if it works for you, go nuts. I wasn't trying to be rude, but to me it's a odd situation. I grew up in a house where everyone had to pull their weight, esp for household chores as anyone can do them.

I would probably kill a person that I lived with (partner/housemate) who didn't pull their weight or even feel bad about not pulling their weight. But that's just me.

Cullen82

I have one housemate now, Am pretty good when it comes to clean up, washing etc etc and never need to be motivated to do it.

In saying that I can't wait till I move in with a nice girl who'll do it all for me ,Aw livin' the dream:D

Delicate_Dlite

Tut tut Cullen82, I thought you had more sense.:rolleyes:
Why not just hire a maid? I know of a few couples do this avoid arguements.

easyeason3

Cullen82 wrote: »

I have one housemate now, Am pretty good when it comes to clean up, washing etc etc and never need to be motivated to do it.

In saying that I can't wait till I move in with a nice girl who'll do it all for me ,Aw livin' the dream:D

So if she did it all for you would you buy her dinner then????

vonnie10

Well i would always insist on paying my half, i'd feel uncomfortable otherwise but i do think it's a really nice gesture on a first date for the guy to offer to pay, i think it shows he's a gent , nothing wrong with a bit of chivalry !!! Even though i'd pay my share anyway i'd definitely think more highly of a guy that offered than one that makes a song and dance about making sure we split the bill !!

starbelgrade

When you meet the right woman, these things don't really matter. Sometimes you'll pay, sometimes she'll pay. You'll wine & dine, have a laugh, gaze into each others eyes and all the worries of the world will melt away.

Then one day, you will decide that this is how you would like to spend your life - that this girl is the one you want forever - and over a romantic meal, you'll look her deep in the eyes & tell her how much you love her & how you would like her to be your wife.

She'll shed a tear & you'll worry slightly if you've jumped the gun, asked too soon, or even made a mistake by asking her... but no, they are tears of joy, and she'll blubber out a "yes... yes, I will". And your heart will be filled with happiness & you'll never have to worry again about whose turn it is to pay for the next meal.

Coz' you'll be paying for the rest of your god damned life.

Piste

Don't worry, most girls don't think the guy should always pay

starbelgrade

Piste wrote: »

Don't worry, most girls don't think the guy should always pay

The professional ones do.

Kiera

I'm a 50/50 girl or if a guy pays for dinner one night, i'll get it next time. I dont like people paying for me at all.

Cullen82

Delicate_Dlite wrote: »

Tut tut Cullen82, I thought you had more sense.:rolleyes:
Why not just hire a maid? I know of a few couples do this avoid arguements.

Me + Sense = not really! Can't afford a maid, Unfortunatly on average I go on as many as 3 to 4 first dates a week and end up having to for everything each time.

Easyeason, I'll pay for the first date as I said before - If we end up getting married she'll have all my wages along with half of my bed so i don't think I'll get away with NOT pay for dinner everytime

Delicate_Dlite

Me + Sense = not really! Can't afford a maid, Unfortunatly on average I go on as many as 3 to 4 first dates a week and end up having to for everything each time.

Ooh, look at Mr. Popular. Are they dates or 'dates';) with professional ladies, I can't believe you have to pay everytime, perhaps your attracting a certain type of woman.

And if you're preparing for a happy marriage, perhaps you should start saving now to pay for a maid. Just incase your lovely wife doesn't fancy doing all of the house work.

Nevyn

Idiots on radio phone show shocker!

strobe

If I was the one that asked the girl to come somewhere with me and when the bill comes she offers to pay her share then I'll always pay it. Any scenario apart from that and she is paying her share. Any girl that would get the hump about that I am fairly certain I would have no wish to ever see again. So it works out pretty good.

Cullen82

Delicate_Dlite wrote: »

Ooh, look at Mr. Popular. Are they dates or 'dates';) with professional ladies, I can't believe you have to pay everytime, perhaps your attracting a certain type of woman.

And if you're preparing for a happy marriage, perhaps you should start saving now to pay for a maid. Just incase your lovely wife doesn't fancy doing all of the house work.

I think my future wife would be quite happy to do these things for me, Is that not part of being in love?......hopefully it is, It'll free up more time for me to spend down the pub with the lads;)