How to make friends in London

LadyMayBelle

Just new to London with my boyf, and so used to relying on a forum like boards.ie in Ireland for finding out about stuff, and arranging meet ups etc. But over here we are just finding it a bit harder

Anyone know of any forums or whatever that might be similar. We are pretty sound (I think!) and just would enjoy meeting some nice people for a drink or picnic in the park, whatever..

Fysh

It can be a bit daunting alright, but there are plenty of groups around. There was (and technically still is) a London forum on the Boards UK site, but that's due to be merged into the main boards.ie site sometime in July so it's a bit dead now. Once the switchover has happened we'll get back to organising Beers and the like, as we've had a few and they've been fun.

You can check out GumTree as well, there are some events co-ordinated through there. There are also loads of social groups that you can find online. Some of them have charging schemes for access while others are free.

It's also worth checking out things like the TimeOut London site to find out about what's on.

LadyMayBelle

Thanks Fysh, yeah the London boards thingey seems to have ben down the past month or so? Plus i missed the last beers as had only arrived. Yup, I stay tuned into Time Out and Spoon Fed etc.

r3nu4l

Hi LadyMayBelle, yup the move to any foreign country can be daunting. Fysh is definitely the man to organise more beers, so keep an eye out for more beers. The UK Boards had a small but great community and there's plenty of boardsies living in London so they can get you started.

The other most obvious thing is to either take up a new hobby or join clubs relating to existing hobbies.

watna

Perhaps you guys could organise a London beers in this forum until boards.co.uk is sorted? I'm sure there's enough people around.

We managed to have a Wellington beers last year which was kind of cool

getz

get the irish post a irish newspaper published in the UK[london],they have contact clubs set up for the irish ,meets/help/jobs, ect

r3nu4l

getz's suggestion is good but if you are like me you won't want to just be meeting Irish people* so in that instance local clubs and associations are still a great idea.




*Although having Irish friends is good because they won't slag you when you talk about the 'hot press' and they will also get your jokes about 'Bosco'

watna

r3nu4l wrote: »

getz's suggestion is good but if you are like me you won't want to just be meeting Irish people* so in that instance local clubs and associations are still a great idea.




*Although having Irish friends is good because they won't slag you when you talk about the 'hot press' and they will also get your jokes about 'Bosco'

A girl at work called her new puppy Bosco.

Nobody else got why I thought that was hilarious. It made me feel very sad!

getz

now if you lived in the north of england[like manchester] they are so friendly,then you would have had no need to post,

LadyMayBelle

Thanks everyone. Yeah I know some people love meeting up with irish folk once they move abroad, and it's not that I want to avoid doing that but I'm more open to meeting people from everywhere else. Please don't take that up the wrong way anyone, but it's why I wouldn't necessarily be checking out the Irish post.. just when you're in London, a place that homes probably someone from every nation...

Thanks anyways everyone. Hoping there'll be a beers at some stage!

Fysh

r3nu4l wrote: »

*Although having Irish friends is good because they won't slag you when you talk about the 'hot press' and they will also get your jokes about 'Bosco'

Not only that, but some of them will point you in the direction of Youtube videos like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Xlo_IU2gcI

getz wrote: »

now if you lived in the north of england[like manchester] they are so friendly,then you would have had no need to post,

Hmmm, I'm not sure I believe that. I know that London and the South East has a reputation for being "less friendly" than the rest of England, but I think most of it is down to London being a big city and it being harder to meet people and make new friends in bigger cities.

getz

london is a city to get lost in,try saying hi to a stranger,they will look at you as if you have gone mad,but north of watford they will be the first to stop and greet you, it has always been excepted that the further north you go ,the more friendly the people,i am not knocking londoners ,but in london you have to try harder ,

LadyMayBelle

getz wrote: »

london is a city to get lost in,try saying hi to a stranger,they will look at you as if you have gone mad,but north of watford they will be the first to stop and greet you, it has always been excepted that the further north you go ,the more friendly the people,i am not knocking londoners ,but in london you have to try harder ,

I haven't lived anywhere else in the UK bar here and so far I do think it's hard to make friends

getz

LadyMayBelle wrote: »

I haven't lived anywhere else in the UK bar here and so far I do think it's hard to make friends

i lived in london for a number of years and i never had a problem in making friends,but that was more down to my northern upbringing,like the irish we very easily make friends,must be our irish ancestry

LadyMayBelle

Well it is only early days yet anyway but was just curious if there was a similar forum as boards really. Thanks for yer help everyone

IzzyWizzy

LadyMayBelle wrote: »

I haven't lived anywhere else in the UK bar here and so far I do think it's hard to make friends

It is quite hard. I usually make friends really easily and am used to living abroad but here I find it tough. I came to do a postgrad and expected to make loads of friends in college but I found it hard to click with people. Have quite a lot of acquaintances but no real close friends that I can text and say 'wanna go for a beer right now?' or 'come over to mine to watch a movie' or whatever. I really miss having that. I've been here 9 months now and have fewer good friends than I did after 3-6 months elsewhere. It seems to take a lot of effort here.

getz

i think also in recent years london has got more expensive and people have less money to spend,just a couple of years ago i was in london at a company meeting,it was a saturday and that evening i went out for a drink,as the pub was empty,on talking to the barman i found out that people just no longer have that extra cash .its a lot different from my early days in west 10,in the north specifically living is still cheap in lancashire,the locals are more like the irish,very friendly and the pubs and bars are full, i would welcome the irish lads opinions who live there.

Fysh

I don't think you can usefully generalise like that - I tend to avoid going out anywhere in central London of a weekend because every time I've done so it's been packed, to the point of being uncomfortable and a pain in the arse. I've seen pubs in Leicester Square try and charge £10 on the door because the crowds are so big there's a good chance at least a few will pay it just to get in somewhere without having to wait.

I've found Kilburn & West Hampstead to be the same - I've seen one or two pubs that struggle, but overall there's no shortage of people who want to go out with their friends and have a good time.

If a pub's dead on a Friday or Saturday night somewhere in London, I suspect it's either the pub itself or the area as a whole that's an issue.

getz

i am only pointing out that it is harder to find and make friends in london [as pointed out by two of our board members] than it used to be, because the younger generation cannot afford the prices, the pubs in london are asking £3 a pint for beer,tonight i will walk around fleetwood with my dog [when waiting for my wife to finish work] i will walk into my high street pub and pay £1.80 for a pint of guinness,

rozmagoz

Hi OP,

I moved to London myself nine months ago. Because of the nature of things at home, I already had a fairly solid base of Irish friends here but found it difficult to make friends with people outside of those circles and outside of work. I saw an online ad seeking volunteers for a festival and just went for it. Best thing I've ever done. Met loads of people-not just from London or England either-and have made some great friends. Stray outside your comfort zone and you'll be surprised at how easy it can be to make great friends in London.

And I take issue with the idea that most people seem to have of Londoners-that they are rude, self-serving and stand-offish. They are lovely, polite, friendly people. Unless they're on the Tube, in which case, not even an Irish person is lovely, polite or friendly. Unless it's between rush hours.

getz

rozmagoz wrote: »

Hi OP,

I moved to London myself nine months ago. Because of the nature of things at home, I already had a fairly solid base of Irish friends here but found it difficult to make friends with people outside of those circles and outside of work. I saw an online ad seeking volunteers for a festival and just went for it. Best thing I've ever done. Met loads of people-not just from London or England either-and have made some great friends. Stray outside your comfort zone and you'll be surprised at how easy it can be to make great friends in London.

And I take issue with the idea that most people seem to have of Londoners-that they are rude, self-serving and stand-offish. They are lovely, polite, friendly people. Unless they're on the Tube, in which case, not even an Irish person is lovely, polite or friendly. Unless it's between rush hours.

you my also have hit on one of the london problems,everyone seems to be in a hurry,when i lived in london i was a barman in the KPH. ladbroke grove [next the porobello road,] i easly made lots of friends because they came to me, not me to them,maybe thats the answer,get a part time job in a pub,everyone loves the barman/lady,thats where i met my wife

Jessicaa

IzzyWizzy wrote: »

It is quite hard. I usually make friends really easily and am used to living abroad but here I find it tough. I came to do a postgrad and expected to make loads of friends in college but I found it hard to click with people. Have quite a lot of acquaintances but no real close friends that I can text and say 'wanna go for a beer right now?' or 'come over to mine to watch a movie' or whatever. I really miss having that. I've been here 9 months now and have fewer good friends than I did after 3-6 months elsewhere. It seems to take a lot of effort here.

I've had the same experience...I came over for a postgrad too, last September, and expected it to be similar to college in that you'd make friends with your class and hang out during the days or go drinking at night, but it hasn't really turned out that way. I think it's because everyone takes their masters more seriously than their undergrad, or that a lot of my class are older than me. I am friendly with most of them, but it's not the same as having someone to ring up whenever you want to hang out or go for a drink or whatever - I miss that too!

D-Generate

Jessicaa wrote: »

I've had the same experience...I came over for a postgrad too, last September, and expected it to be similar to college in that you'd make friends with your class and hang out during the days or go drinking at night, but it hasn't really turned out that way. I think it's because everyone takes their masters more seriously than their undergrad, or that a lot of my class are older than me. I am friendly with most of them, but it's not the same as having someone to ring up whenever you want to hang out or go for a drink or whatever - I miss that too!

Looks like a lot of us are doing a masters in London. I might aswell be studying in the priesthood judging by how little my class is interested in having drinks or fun.

LadyMayBelle

Thanks everyone.
I volunteer alright in a charity shop, unfortunately most of the other volunteers are quite older than me, and the one or two that are younger seem to be long term volunteers and have friends and arent bothered about finding more:-( Still trying though!
I avoid central london as well as some other posters, with kilburn being for nights out and west hampstead for a wines or sunday lunch. Really like the summery feel there a lot. Been here 6weeks now and as well as volunteering I went to a community get together but again i was the youngest by about thirty years. Early days yet though I guess. Miss having mates to call over to and watch telly or just the ease of having the car back home for spins!

afatbollix

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055956199

Have a look in the above thread.. Why not come along.. I dont think any of us will bite.. Hopefully we get a few friendships out of it.

IzzyWizzy

Just wondering how you're getting on LadyMayBelle, and everyone else as well? I've been here nearly a year now and still have fewer friends than I have had anywhere else. I think a lot of that is down to the Masters - my classmates aren't very sociable and the workload hasn't left me much time to look into other options for socialising. I remember when I first arrived, I went to Covent Garden and Camden and thought 'wow I'm gonna be going out here all the time' and it just never happened! I still find Londoners very hard to get to know. I had classes, lunch and coffee every single day with several people and only met up with them outside college once or twice. I'm hoping things change when I finish the Masters (in under a week!) and start doing other stuff.

LadyMayBelle

HI IzzyWizzy, I PMed you, but for the thread purposes, I still find it tricky. I work alone, which doesn't help so might spend the whole day not talking to anyone bar the chap in the shop where I grab a cuppa..totally not like me!

Anyone else have more success?

bluedolphin

Just saw this thread now... Now, in fairness, I've myself to blame in not showing up to London beers, but I always inconveniently had something else on. I've been doing a MA here since last September and will be staying looking for a job once I hand in my dissertation (on Monday, eek!). I don't know whether it's down to being more 'mature' in a postgrad or what, but while I've made plenty of friends, I'd be in the same boat in saying there's only maybe one or two I'd really text at a moment's notice to do something, which is completely the opposite from at home. I think a lot of my master's friends had their own group previously and didn't 'need' any more good friends. In saying that, I became quite close with my flatmate as she moved here as well from another country, but she's leaving next week after handing in her thesis.

IzzyWizzy

LadyMayBelle wrote: »

HI IzzyWizzy, I PMed you, but for the thread purposes, I still find it tricky. I work alone, which doesn't help so might spend the whole day not talking to anyone bar the chap in the shop where I grab a cuppa..totally not like me!

Anyone else have more success?

Will get back to you once the dreaded thesis is in! Sorry to hear you haven't had much luck. Working alone can be really difficult, you start to go a bit bananas having absolutely no-one to talk to!

bluedolphin wrote: »

Just saw this thread now... Now, in fairness, I've myself to blame in not showing up to London beers, but I always inconveniently had something else on. I've been doing a MA here since last September and will be staying looking for a job once I hand in my dissertation (on Monday, eek!). I don't know whether it's down to being more 'mature' in a postgrad or what, but while I've made plenty of friends, I'd be in the same boat in saying there's only maybe one or two I'd really text at a moment's notice to do something, which is completely the opposite from at home. I think a lot of my master's friends had their own group previously and didn't 'need' any more good friends. In saying that, I became quite close with my flatmate as she moved here as well from another country, but she's leaving next week after handing in her thesis.

I think being an MA student is a bit awkward. I'm not that old (24 when I started) but I felt that all the events and social stuff was geared towards undergrads. I went to loads of Freshers events and just kept meeting people 6 years younger than me. You really, really feel the age difference. A lot of the undergrads here are quite self important as well, asking why I'm still in college at this age and things like that, basically acting like total know-it-alls. There were postgrad events but they seemed to be the opposite - geared for people in their thirties with children. I think it's quite an awkward age to be in college, especially if you've been working for a few years. The workload is pretty intense as well - when you do get invited to things or something's on, you often can't go because something's due in the next day. I'm really hoping work will be different. My bf has made quite a few friends through work, so there is hope!

rtunes

I lived in London for years. The English are slow to make friendships with people as they think you are transient and not likely to be around for a long time. It's just the nature of London. However, once you get to know them they can be very loyal, good friends. Not just the pals who meet in the pub types which we would be good at! My advice would be to get involved in group things like evening classes or get down to the local tennis courts and do group lessons etc if you want to mix up your circle. It will take time but there are loads of people in the same boat as you so no worries.

bluedolphin

IzzyWizzy wrote: »

I think being an MA student is a bit awkward. I'm not that old (24 when I started) but I felt that all the events and social stuff was geared towards undergrads. I went to loads of Freshers events and just kept meeting people 6 years younger than me. You really, really feel the age difference. A lot of the undergrads here are quite self important as well, asking why I'm still in college at this age and things like that, basically acting like total know-it-alls. There were postgrad events but they seemed to be the opposite - geared for people in their thirties with children. I think it's quite an awkward age to be in college, especially if you've been working for a few years. The workload is pretty intense as well - when you do get invited to things or something's on, you often can't go because something's due in the next day. I'm really hoping work will be different. My bf has made quite a few friends through work, so there is hope!

Totally agree. I went along to lots of the Freshers events where everyone was at a very different stage. I can understand, I mean when I started my UG I was like that too. I found the workload pretty heavy going as well, and I was quite sick for most of the second term earlier this year, so I just didn't have time to make additional effort than I already was. I'm doing an internship at the moment and there are plenty of other interns who are predominantly final year UG or PG students, but I just can't seem to connect with them! I'm beginning to wonder if it's me...but they're all just so serious! It's not that they're not nice people - they are kind and lovely - but they're very closed off and serious where as I'd be quite ...the opposite! I take my work seriously, of course, but I enjoy letting my hair down and having a good laugh. Our senses of humour are just polar opposite I think. I reckon they probably think I'm a bit eccentric because I'm always making jokes/sarcastic comments in the office and they often just don't know what to do. Maybe I'm not funny. :eek: I'm hoping that work will introduce me to some new people, too! I'm also looking to do a language evening class this coming year, and maybe a photography one if I can afford it. I want to do both of those things for myself anyway, so if I met people that'd be a bonus!