Would like parents opinions on this.

Deliverance

Friends called on spec today to my flat. I did some work for them on my computer. We had a bit of craic and a laugh as well as I had not seen one chap for awhile and it was great to see him again. It was a nice day with friends.

It was great in that respect and it made my day. However despite it being a hot day, I had to close the window to block out the particular single Moms who were seated below my window in pajamas near the common entrance.

There were 2 out of 3 of them outside and occasionally they would shout out and swear profoundly at their kids. The conversation and craic was broken more than once in stunned silence after hearing the moms in question shouting at their children and calling them little F***ers, little bollixs etc.

I know being single and a parent can be tough but surely this is over the top. What is it with these parents i.e. certain single Moms that do this? And what long term affects does it have on the little kids that they have control over.

I have had visitors previoulsy as well who were shocked to witness the third single mom literally walloping a young chap in front of them.

I don't get these people, I find them different and depressing. It is actually doing my head in, I have applied for a transfer to attempt to get away from them. Any thoughts on this, I really don't get them as neighbours

metrovelvet

I couldn't comment really. Is there something about being married that stops you swearing or is it that you have a husband to swear at instead?

I could theorise that without a father around, the LAW [Yaweh] is also not around and so disciplining becomes harder for the mother, and then that leads to frustration and resentment.

I've noticed what you are talking about in neighborhoods that are rough around the edges but I hadnt noticed wedding rings or the absence thereof.

The effect? Told you are a little **** often enough and you will believe it- the diagnosis becomes the destiny.

Splendour

I think it's extremely sad and I imagine these mothers were brought up hearing the same language from their parents. I know single parents who would absolutely in no way speak to their kids that way. I don't think it's necessarily a single parent issue at all.

MrsA

Not a single parent issue at all. Some people just don't have the language skills or the coping skills to deal with small children. Being married or not does not change that.

Nevyn

It has little to do with being a lone parent but more to do with the fact they were reared to think that type of behaviour is acceptable and to have no manners or common courtesy which means they won't have it to pass on to thier own little darlings.

Trust me there are married parents who are the exact same, there are some who live near and in this weather they are out sitting in the gardens, music blaring from cars drinking all day and roaring at the kids just the same and they live on the same road as me. This type of weather I tend to try and take the kids off for the day saturday and sunday to get away from them.

And that type have the balls to laugh at thier kids calling mine freaks cos they don't have a scumbag accent and have manners and say please and thank you and don't swear.

Ickle Magoo

We have several married couples around us that take great delight in screaming obscenities at their kids - and each other for that matter. I've also seen kids walloped by dads, mums, grans, you name it - I don't think it's fair to direct the questions just at single mums...

Deliverance

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

We have several married couples around us that take great delight in screaming obscenities at their kids - and each other for that matter. I've also seen kids walloped by dads, mums, grans, you name it - I don't think it's fair to direct the questions just at single mums...

No! no this is not aimed at single moms at all. It is just my experience Ickle. Please do not see it as that! I am not that ingnorent! I get your point but that is not the issue here I think.

Deliverance

Thaedydal wrote: »

It has little to do with being a lone parent but more to do with the fact they were reared to think that type of behaviour is acceptable and to have no manners or common courtesy which means they won't have it to pass on to thier own little darlings.

Trust me there are married parents who are the exact same, there are some who live near and in this weather they are out sitting in the gardens, music blaring from cars drinking all day and roaring at the kids just the same and they live on the same road as me. This type of weather I tend to try and take the kids off for the day saturday and sunday to get away from them.

And that type have the balls to laugh at thier kids calling mine freaks cos they don't have a scumbag accent and have manners and say please and thank you and don't swear.

I find unfortunately that I have to put on a hard face and portray myself as a loud person to keep them off my back.

If I am actually nice (I am a nice man) then some folks see that as a weakness for some odd reason. I do not know why that is, but it is to me ironically weak people who are to coin an unforunate term 'Socially backward'. I am different to 'them' for some reason.

mikemac

Walk around your local town, you'll see children getting beat and sworn at.

The children grow up and repeat the process.
Your neighbor is repeating what they have known all their life

Ickle Magoo

Deliverance wrote: »

No! no this is not aimed at single moms at all. It is just my experience Ickle. Please do not see it as that! I am not that ingnorent!

I just meant I could answer the questions in relation to married couples but not single mums so I think that part of the story is fairly redundant as an explanation for their behaviour/questions just about them, I wasn't trying to suggest you were ignorant or being ignorant.

In short, idiots are idiots, bad parents are just that...I'm sorry it's so bad you are having to try to move house. Is there no-one you can complain to? Other neighbours you could team up with to say something?

BostonB

I'm completely baffled why anyone would think its specific to "certain single mums"

Its pretty normal in some sectors of society, usually the poorer ones. Take Roddy Doyles books/movies for example.

Deliverance

Thaedydal wrote: »

It has little to do with being a lone parent but more to do with the fact they were reared to think that type of behaviour is acceptable and to have no manners or common courtesy which means they won't have it to pass on to thier own little darlings.

Trust me there are married parents who are the exact same, there are some who live near and in this weather they are out sitting in the gardens, music blaring from cars drinking all day and roaring at the kids just the same and they live on the same road as me. This type of weather I tend to try and take the kids off for the day saturday and sunday to get away from them.

And that type have the balls to laugh at thier kids calling mine freaks cos they don't have a scumbag accent and have manners and say please and thank you and don't swear.

Thaedyal I do the exact same. I take my kids away for the day to avoid the crappy neighbours as well. My neighbours loiter all day and swear and call their kids that is their life choice. I want better for my little ones.

I really don't want my kids seeing their lifestyle as the norm.

Deliverance

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I just meant I could answer the questions in relation to married couples but not single mums so I think that part of the story is fairly redundant as an explanation for their behaviour/questions just about them, I wasn't trying to suggest you were ignorant or being ignorant.

In short, idiots are idiots, bad parents are just that...I'm sorry it's so bad you are having to try to move house. Is there no-one you can complain to? Other neighbours you could team up with to say something?

This is the massive irony it is a block of flats 6 in each block. 3 of the flats are the single moms and they are all of the same nature that I mentioned. They all get on well 'naturally'.

My best option is to move out if I can. I want better things for my child.

BostonB

Deliverance wrote: »

This is the massive irony it is a block of flats 6 in each block. 3 of the flats are the single moms and they are all of the same nature that I mentioned. They all get on well 'naturally'..

Naturally? What does that mean?

That there are sngle mothers is irrelevent, yet you keep going back to that. You could have described this problem without mentioning single mothers at all.

Deliverance wrote: »

My best option is to move out if I can. I want better things for my child.

You simply don't like your neighbours, because of their behavour. Fair enough. Moving makes sense.

Deliverance

BostonB wrote: »

Naturally? What does that mean?

That there are sngle mothers is irrelevent, yet you keep going back to that. You could have described this problem without mentioning single mothers at all.



You simply don't like your neighbours, because of their behaviour. Fair enough. Moving makes sense.

Fair point Boston. This thread is not a generalisation of single moms though, I would make a point of that and already have. It is literally an experience that I am going through.

I find my 'particular' neighbours have lots in common in this case. They all seem to see their swearing at kids as natural and acceptable behaviour. It is an unfortunate placement that I am in at the moment.

I find their behaviour embarrassing but I am also curious as to their nature. Metro put up the most informative view so far from a different perspective and I wanted to reply as such but got sidetracked by the usual misunderstandings and natural debate.

Thanks Metro, I missed your input you are the only person that has made sense of what I have been sidetract about. Plus Thaeydal as well.

BostonB

You're taking facts in isolation to suit your conculsion. You're also looking for the simple answer where there isn't one. Human behaviour is complex and not always obvious. However, the facts don't actually support your conculsion. For example they also have location in common. They also have you, their neighbour in common.

Just because because facts are true does not always mean they are relevent.This has nothing to do with single mothers, or that they are neighbours.

Your question is simply why do some people curse around their kids and hit their kids. Which is as much about Psychology (if not more), as it is about Parenting

LegacyUser

Do yourself and thaed find it in any way interesting that you "lower" yourself to their level so they "get on with you", and in Thaed's case, that your kids are the ones being teased for being well-behaved??

It's something I've often wondered about - I'm quite well-educated, read everything in front of me, play 2 instruments, speak another language and travel a lot - yet for some reason when I encounter people like this I find I conceal all these things because I know I'd be sneered at. I don't claim to have a high IQ or anything, but I feel like I spend most of my life hiding the fact that I'm halfway intelligent so as not to hurt someone's feelings, or to "fit in". Why is that we cater to the lower common denominator in society? Why do you, Deliverance, and your friends have to sit and listen to that kind of behaviour, and consider moving to avoid it? And Thaed, why do you have to take your kids away for the day to avoid, instead of being able to stay in your house, that you paid for and own?

When did being antisocial and in a lot of cases, uneducated and ignorant, become the acceptable norm? ( and before I get attacked for whatever statements that are not PC, let me assure you I'm not discussing single mothers, people who didn't go to college etc. I am referring to those in our society who are quite simply ignorant, happy to be and not afraid to show it...while those of us who aren't run away and avoid it.) I'm aware it's probably fed by some form of inferiority complex, but it's something I find very hard to understand.

Nevyn

Unfortuantly there are no laws about sitting out in your garden with a box of beer and a litre of spirits and drinking for the day with music blaring, it tends to only happen certain weekend when the weather is fine and I would rather spend my money taking the kids off and out do to something fun and memorable like the festival last weekend then listen to what ever dance hit is in the charts punctuated with the carry on of some of the locals.

I can understand why you consider it running away but I can't see how confronting such people and trying to get them to change their behaviour will achieve anything other then bad blood and the further alienation of my family but it's not from any sort of inferiority complex but just not wanting to be dragged down to thier level, it's aggro I don't need.

metrovelvet

Why????? wrote: »

Do yourself and thaed find it in any way interesting that you "lower" yourself to their level so they "get on with you", and in Thaed's case, that your kids are the ones being teased for being well-behaved??

It's something I've often wondered about - I'm quite well-educated, read everything in front of me, play 2 instruments, speak another language and travel a lot - yet for some reason when I encounter people like this I find I conceal all these things because I know I'd be sneered at. I don't claim to have a high IQ or anything, but I feel like I spend most of my life hiding the fact that I'm halfway intelligent so as not to hurt someone's feelings, or to "fit in". Why is that we cater to the lower common denominator in society? Why do you, Deliverance, and your friends have to sit and listen to that kind of behaviour, and consider moving to avoid it? And Thaed, why do you have to take your kids away for the day to avoid, instead of being able to stay in your house, that you paid for and own?

When did being antisocial and in a lot of cases, uneducated and ignorant, become the acceptable norm? ( and before I get attacked for whatever statements that are not PC, let me assure you I'm not discussing single mothers, people who didn't go to college etc. I am referring to those in our society who are quite simply ignorant, happy to be and not afraid to show it...while those of us who aren't run away and avoid it.) I'm aware it's probably fed by some form of inferiority complex, but it's something I find very hard to understand.

Environment is powerful and people have to make compromises to negotiate with it. And some never do wells will want to drag you down to their level so they dont feel like such **** about themselves.

You will never ever change people like this because they are happy with their lot and dont want to.

I draw the line at watching Desperate housewives so I can follow the conversation of the women at playgroup. I'll be damned if I spend every saturday washing my car and hemming my three year olds pants.

Deliverance - you need new neighbors.

BostonB

its not exactly a simple topic...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_nature

Lando Griffin

Maybe they had turrets syndrome you should not pass judgment on other people and their children i'v been told..

LegacyUser

Thaedydal wrote: »

Unfortuantly there are no laws about sitting out in your garden with a box of beer and a litre of spirits and drinking for the day with music blaring, it tends to only happen certain weekend when the weather is fine and I would rather spend my money taking the kids off and out do to something fun and memorable like the festival last weekend then listen to what ever dance hit is in the charts punctuated with the carry on of some of the locals.

I can understand why you consider it running away but I can't see how confronting such people and trying to get them to change their behaviour will achieve anything other then bad blood and the further alienation of my family but it's not from any sort of inferiority complex but just not wanting to be dragged down to thier level, it's aggro I don't need.

Thaed, I don't consider it running away on your part. What I do wonder about is why you feel you have to leave, when you are doing nothing to impact on anybody, rather than the people in question.I also don't mean an inferiority complex on your part...I mean on their part. I understand that people don't want to be having rows about stuff like that. But as an observation of human nature, and particularly human nature in this country, I don't understand why we cater to the lowest common denominator all the time...why we allow this behaviour to become the norm?

I'm not interested in trying to get these people to change either, I know it'll never happen.
I just find it ironic and strange that those who behave like civilized people and who have some level of standards are prepared to sit back and allow those who couldn't give a c"%p to do whatever they want. Deliverance feels he has to get new neighbours, ie move house - which will probably be what ends up happening - instead of being able to go them either himself, or with the support of others, to the people in question, and ask them to stop roaring and shouting and cursing. Because of course if he did that, he'd probably find himself up in a court being accused of god only knows what - again, catering to the lowest common denominator.Even though Deliverance is, in fact, doing absolutely nothing wrong.

Bizarre.Irrelevant to parenting too, I know, but strange!

Nevyn

Why????? wrote: »

Thaed, I don't consider it running away on your part. What I do wonder about is why you feel you have to leave, when you are doing nothing to impact on anybody, rather than the people in question.

They are how ever impacting on me, the noise of them grates and ruins my day so I go elsewhere with my kids rather then having them exposed that that type of behaviour, thankfully it tends to be not every weekend.

Why????? wrote: »

I also don't mean an inferiority complex on your part...I mean on their part. I understand that people don't want to be having rows about stuff like that. But as an observation of human nature, and particularly human nature in this country, I don't understand why we cater to the lowest common denominator all the time...why we allow this behaviour to become the norm?

We don't have the resources to deal with it, no way the garda are going to call up and talk to them, they have better things to be doing.

Why????? wrote: »

Bizarre.Irrelevant to parenting too, I know, but strange!

I don't think that it is as those of us who have standards and dont' carry on in that manner find it harder to parent our children and combat the bad example being set for them by others in the 'community' as it were.

ntlbell

Thaedydal wrote: »

They are how ever impacting on me, the noise of them grates and ruins my day so I go elsewhere with my kids rather then having them exposed that that type of behaviour, thankfully it tends to be not every weekend.

You stated it only happens on rare occasions, it's very rare we get any sort of decent weather in this country, they're enjoying the sun in their own garden with a few drinks, why is this type of behavior so unacceptable?

Thaedydal wrote: »

We don't have the resources to deal with it, no way the garda are going to call up and talk to them, they have better things to be doing.

Garda? to prevent people having a few drinks on their own property on the rare occasion we get a bit of decent weather?

Thaedydal wrote: »

I don't think that it is as those of us who have standards and dont' carry on in that manner find it harder to parent our children and combat the bad example being set for them by others in the 'community' as it were.

Why is a familiy in their own garden enjoying the weather setting a bad example for your kids?

Are trying to teach our kids not to enjoy themselves? that they can't enjoy sun music and a drink on a summers day? I'm sorry but this does sound to me like some form of inferiority complex.

Yes it's a community and your neighbors are part of it, and these particular neighbor likes to enjoy the good weather with a few drinks and some music, is it not part of living in a community that there's some give and take?

What's happening in this country that we look down on people who are doing nothing but enjoying themselves on a summers day?

why have become so intolerant and turning our nose up and everyone that doesn't fall into our own ideas of how people should be living their lives.

Nevyn

Go back and read the first post in the thread and try and put my posts in that sort of a context rather then trying to paint me as a priss and a prude.

Sitting out having a few drinks and listening to music is one thing, shouting, roaring abuse at passers by and the local kids, smashing glass bottles on the pavement and turning the neighbourhood in the early afternoon into templebar at 3am on a Saturday is a lot different and anti socail behaviour at least if it was in thier back yards that would be something but nope they wouldn't have the fun of heckling passers by then.

ntlbell

Thaedydal wrote: »

Go back and read the first post in the thread and try and put my posts in that sort of a context rather then trying to paint me as a priss and a prude.

Sitting out having a few drinks and listening to music is one thing, shouting, roaring abuse at passers by and the local kids, smashing glass bottles on the pavement and turning the neighbourhood in the early afternoon into templebar at 3am on a Saturday is a lot different and anti socail behaviour at least if it was in thier back yards that would be something but nope they wouldn't have the fun of heckling passers by then.

I looked back on it, I'm not seeing how a mother calling johhny a ballix related to your go at your neighbors for having a drink and listening to the latest dance "tunes" in the garden.

I mean look at the things you have said in this thread, referring to the way they speak as "scumbags" because they might have a Dublin twang?

then you say it has nothing to do with an inferiority complex. You said they call your kids freaks etc, this tends to happen to "outsiders" in a "neighborhood" and outsiders tend to choose to be on the outside as they feel they're above everyone else, this will only fuel the alienation your own kids are experiencing at the moment.

Nevyn

Outsiders, we have been living here 10 years they moved in 3 years ago.

It is not having "a drink" it's more like 3 boxes of miller in the garden and thier mates in the garden and as for how they speak I grew up in finglas so it's not an issue with accent it's the foul language and abuse roared at passers by, your just being contrary at this stage so I am not responding to any more of your posts to me on this topic.

ntlbell

Thaedydal wrote: »

Outsiders, we have been living here 10 years they moved in 3 years ago.

It has nothing to do with the length of time, it's about the effort made to integrate. People can live somewhere there whole lives and can be considered outsiders.

BostonB

ntlbell wrote: »

It has nothing to do with the length of time, it's about the effort made to integrate. People can live somewhere there whole lives and can be considered outsiders.

Blasting out music isn't going to help with that is it.

Khannie

Let's be fair here; parents standing by while their children call other children freaks = asshats. I don't think anyone has any objection to having a few drinks in your own garden. Ruining a day for others with nasty language, bad behaviour and loud music....well....I'm glad they're not my neighbours. Aren't you?

ntlbell

BostonB wrote: »

Blasting out music isn't going to help with that is it.

Blasting out music day and night is going to annoy everyone, correct.

Having some music play into your garden on a nice summers day on the odd occasion we have a nice day, non issue IMO.

ntlbell

Khannie wrote: »

Let's be fair here; parents standing by while their children call other children freaks = asshats. I don't think anyone has any objection to having a few drinks in your own garden. Ruining a day for others with nasty language, bad behaviour and loud music....well....I'm glad they're not my neighbours. Aren't you?

I don't think they're calling the kids freaks because they're having a drink in the garden. kids will be kids.

I would wager this glass throwing etc is not something that happens a lot from the earlier posts, it seems their choice of music, noise level and how many drinks seems to be the real problem.

"three trays of miller" "AND FRIENDS!!" :eek:

It doesn't sound like the bronx.

Khannie

ntlbell wrote: »

I don't think they're calling the kids freaks because they're having a drink in the garden. kids will be kids.

My problem is that the parents laugh about it instead of correcting it. Arguing that "kids will be kids" is nonsense. Of course kids will be kids, but parents should be parents when they are.

ntlbell wrote: »

I would wager this glass throwing etc is not something that happens a lot from the earlier posts

Ah sure that's alright then. A bit of glass throwing every once in a while....no problem.

ntlbell wrote: »

, it seems their choice of music, noise level and how many drinks seems to be the real problem.

"three trays of miller" "AND FRIENDS!!" :eek:

It doesn't sound like the bronx.

So here's what we have:
1) Kids call her children freaks, parents laugh about this.
2) Music blaring.
3) Heavy drinking session in the front garden.
4) Smashing bottles on the pavement.
5) Harassing passers by.

Like I said....I'm glad they're not my neighbours. Aren't you?

ntlbell

Khannie wrote: »

My problem is that the parents laugh about it instead of correcting it. Arguing that "kids will be kids" is nonsense. Of course kids will be kids, but parents should be parents when they are.

You can tell a kid up to a point till your blue in the face, kids take the piddle out of other kids, it's part of been a kid. I would imagine the reason these kids are taken the piddle is because the kids are kept away from most kids on the street, their parents look down on these people and call them scumbags, so the kids pick up on it and probably look down on them and walk around with airs and graces about them. I would be more concerned about a parent alienating their kids in their area, instead of a parent laughing, maybe the kids comments were very funny?

Khannie wrote: »

Ah sure that's alright then. A bit of glass throwing every once in a while....no problem.

These things happen, I can't recall an area I lived in where the odd party didn't get a bit out of order.

Khannie wrote: »

So here's what we have:
1) Kids call her children freaks, parents laugh about this.
2) Music blaring.
3) Heavy drinking session in the front garden.
4) Smashing bottles on the pavement.
5) Harassing passers by.

Like I said....I'm glad they're not my neighbours. Aren't you?

I don't see anything wrong with music blaring, It's not something I do personally, but I wouldn't have an issue with a neighbour doing it the odd nice day we have, I would actually grab a bottle and go over for a chat, you know, be neighborly

again, drinking sessions on your own private property not a problem.

Smashing off the bottle i have issue with, but your making it out this happens everytime they have a drink, have you never been at a party that got a bit out of hand?

and the story of all this bottle smashing arised when i questioned the lady of death, her main issue was drink/music/noise

what all of it has to do with a woman calling her own child a ballix i dont know

metrovelvet

She doesn't want her kids around drunken potty mouths who turn a sunnyday garden picnic into an outward performance of aggression and lowlifedom.

Pretty understandable.

What has it got to do with parents calling their children names? It has to do with how you negotiate with a community that you don't fit in with and you don't want to be a part of and you dont want your children thinking this is standard and acceptable.

mariaf24

I think thats what you sign up for when you rent/buy in a housing estate to be honest. You are taking a risk and have no control over who your neighbours are / what they do.

ntlbell

metrovelvet wrote: »

She doesn't want her kids around drunken potty mouths who turn a sunnyday garden picnic into an outward performance of aggression and lowlifedom.

Pretty understandable.

What has it got to do with parents calling their children names? It has to do with how you negotiate with a community that you don't fit in with and you don't want to be a part of and you dont want your children thinking this is standard and acceptable.

Would it not be more beneficial for the child to understand that not everyone is the same? that people live their lives differently? and show them how to integrate with different people and get on with different people? instead of judging people on how they talk and what clothes they wear?

to teach them tolerance of other people's way of life?

you think blind folding them and hiding them away from the realities of life will stand them good stead in the future?

interesting

metrovelvet

ntlbell wrote: »

Would it not be more beneficial for the child to understand that not everyone is the same? that people live their lives differently? and show them how to integrate with different people and get on with different people? instead of judging people on how they talk and what clothes they wear?

to teach them tolerance of other people's way of life?

you think blind folding them and hiding them away from the realities of life will stand them good stead in the future?

interesting

No, unless you want your child to grow up to be an uneducated animal.

Ickle Magoo

ntlbell wrote: »

you think blind folding them and hiding them away from the realities of life will stand them good stead in the future?

Presumably you have no issue with your kids surfing for p.orn or watching violent movies? As they are realities of life?

The vast majority of kids are sheltered from various aspects of life for a whole plethora of reasons; because kids ape, because they get scared, because you don't trust the people involved, because you don't want to normalise certain behaviours.

I don't think not wanting your kids to interact with the local gurriers is doing them any great disservice, probably just the opposite.

ntlbell

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Presumably you have no issue with your kids surfing for p.orn or watching violent movies? As they are realities of life?

The vast majority of kids are sheltered from various aspects of life for a whole plethora of reasons; because kids ape, because they get scared, because you don't trust the people involved, because you don't want to normalise certain behaviours.

I don't think not wanting your kids to interact with the local gurriers is doing them any great disservice, probably just the opposite.

I would discuss porn with them absoloutley. Can I prevent them from watching it? no, education is the key.

Liking people having a drink in their own front gardens and porn.

nice one.

:rolleyes:

Ickle Magoo

ntlbell wrote: »

I would discuss porn with them absoloutley. Can I prevent them from watching it? no, education is the key.

Liking people having a drink in their own front gardens and porn.

nice one.

:rolleyes:

I presume the kids being shielded from drunken louts shouting expletives are fairly young...too young for the above.

I wasn't likening people getting pi$$ed and shouting obscenities and porn :rolleyes:, just highlighting how ridiculous the idea that sheltering kids from some aspects of reality is somehow doing them a disservice. One of parents main functions is to shield young kids from some of the more unsavoury sides of life.

ntlbell

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I presume the kids being shielded from drunken louts shouting expletives are fairly young...too young for the above.

I wasn't likening people getting pi$$ed and shouting obscenities and porn :rolleyes:, just highlighting how ridiculous the idea that sheltering kids from some aspects of reality is somehow doing them a disservice. One of parents main functions is to shield young kids from some of the more unsavoury sides of life.

Like can you not see the scene your setting here.

a group of people lining up at thier front gate screaming and roaring abuse at every passer by? this is obsured and it's been ramped up to them now just some dumb animals in the garden.

the main issue from the first post was loud "dance" music, and drinking in the garden.

thaed was coming across like a bit of a stick in the mud and it was ramped up to smashing of bottles etc etc etc

I have heard it many times in different areas, nearly every area has the local busy boddy who moans about people having a drink in the garden taken the "look" of the estate or moaning because some local mechanic has an exhaust on his lawn OMG

I would be willing to put a large wager that it's nothing more than lads in a garden having a drink, and yes probably get a bit loud and yes probably play a bit of music.

and on an occasion one of them shouted something down the road that was of slightly bad taste to one of their mates and now their being protrayed as the neighbours from hell

like the people in question have a drink in the garden on a RARE occassion, there' not throwing rave parties selling heroin to the local kids with the guarda on the door every 5 minutes

a bit of perspective pls.

queue stories of the dad knocking out brown.

Ickle Magoo

The scene I'm setting? Likewise. I'm not sure why but you seem to be exceptionally sensitive to the perception of front garden pi$$heads...? A bit of perspective is understanding that drunken adults f'ing and blinding is not something most parents want or should have to have their young kids exposed to.

I don't think people bawling swearwords or getting pi$$ed in view of the whole street in the middle of the day is akin to an exhaust in the back garden nor wanting to shield your kids from it as akin to the local busy body. People who haven't the social skills, maturity or intelligence to even notice they are the only ones who behave like that, rare or no, tend to have a high turnover of neighbours, ime...

ntlbell

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

The scene I'm setting? Likewise. I'm not sure why but you seem to be exceptionally sensitive to the perception of front garden pi$$heads...? A bit of perspective is understanding that drunken adults f'ing and blinding is not something most parents want or should have to have their young kids exposed to.

I don't think people bawling swearwords or getting pi$$ed in view of the whole street in the middle of the day is akin to an exhaust in the back garden nor wanting to shield your kids from it as akin to the local busy body. People who haven't the social skills, maturity or intelligence to even notice they are the only ones who behave like that, rare or no, tend to have a high turnover of neighbours, ime...

Uhm because I spend my weekends shouting drunkingly at my neighbors obviously :rolleyes:

Im not saying it's similar to an exhaust in a garden, but it's the type of thing these people moan about.

We're not going to agree on this, none of us even know the familiy been discussed it's probably somewhere in the middle.

Ickle Magoo

I don't understand? These people moan about? The OP was moaning about neighbours getting drunk and shouting and swearing, Thead was also talking about people getting plastered and shouting...

If the OP was moaning about exhausts or something stupid then I'd be in complete agreement with you - being drunk and swearing loudly in full view/hearing of everyone else who has to share the street with them is just rude and tacky...

ntlbell

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I don't understand? These people moan about? The OP was moaning about neighbours getting drunk and shouting and swearing, Thead was also talking about people getting plastered and shouting...

If the OP was moaning about exhausts or something stupid then I'd be in complete agreement with you - being drunk and swearing loudly in full view/hearing of everyone else who has to share the street with them is just rude and tacky...

Yes, the people who moan about a few lads having a gargle ON THE RARE OCCASION in the front garden are the same type of folk who whine about a car part in someones garden taken the look off the street etc. That was painful.

Taken your kids away from the street because people are having a drink and listening to music in the garden ON A RARE OCCASSION. seems over the top to me.

Again, we don;t know the family we don't know what they're doing, I imagine, it's somewhere in-between

Ickle Magoo

A few lads having a gargle? Was the OP not about women...and their kids?

What are you basing the capitalised rare occasions on? You seem quite determined to paint people getting pi$$ed in their front garden and shouting expletives as being a normal past-time, for the vast majority of people it's not and if folks don't want their kids picking up the language or possibly getting involved with the kind of people who think getting pi$$ed in the front garden in the middle of the day and roaring swearwords is perfectly normal social behaviour, then I can certainly understand that.

Presumably the OP isn't sick of people behaving a certain way to the point she wants to move house based on her lovely neighbours making a public spectacle of themselves just the once or twice?

Miss Lockhart

This thread has really gone off on a tangent...

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

The OP was moaning about neighbours getting drunk and shouting and swearing,

Maybe Deliverance can clarify, but so far they have not actually mentioned anything about getting drunk as far as I can see.

Just to reiterate what Metrovelvet said - I really don't think being a "single mom" has anything to do with it.

My parents (married for decades) shouted abuse and called each other, and my siblings and me, names on a daily basis - and they still do. It's just the way they are - it is normal for them and they just don't see any real problem with it. They are, I have no doubt, aware that it is not considered "polite" or "pleasant", but I genuinely think they don't see any real harm in it. We are not from an area that is "rough around the edges" either.

I, on the other hand, am a fairly quiet and very polite person and I NEVER swear on front of people and am not inclined to call anybody names. I also don't feel exposure to this behaviour has caused me any long term damage - I don't even think about it. :pac:

Ickle Magoo

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

Maybe Deliverance can clarify, but so far they have not actually mentioned anything about getting drunk as far as I can see.

You are quite right, that was in a later post.

ntlbell

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

A few lads having a gargle? Was the OP not about women...and their kids?

What are you basing the capitalised rare occasions on? You seem quite determined to paint people getting pi$$ed in their front garden and shouting expletives as being a normal past-time, for the vast majority of people it's not and if folks don't want their kids picking up the language or possibly getting involved with the kind of people who think getting pi$$ed in the front garden in the middle of the day and roaring swearwords is perfectly normal social behaviour, then I can certainly understand that.

Presumably the OP isn't sick of people behaving a certain way to the point she wants to move house based on her lovely neighbours making a public spectacle of themselves just the once or twice?

huh?

thaed is not the OP, who's post I was discussing

Something that happens on a rare occasion which thaed said sometimes happen if the weather is fine.

this is ireland, I assume you live here, I don't need to tell you what the weathers normally like.

So no having a drink in the front garden is not a day to day thing, I don't drink in my front garden, _ever_ but if someone wants to I don't have a problem with that, if they want to listen to must while doing, again, I don't see the issue.

Just to re-cap, this is in regards to thaeds post, NOT OP

metrovelvet

I think the real issue is bearing witness to women who openly and shamlessly denigrate their children.

The single mother bit side tracked it a bit but since we are on the subject, is there really such thing as a single mother? It always takes two. There is always an ex or absent father [although an absence which is always present - like a negative space in a painting] who is not there to tell them to "shut the bleep up and dont you talk to my child like that!"

So OP could have phrased it "There are some absent father's exs who are always screaming obscenities at their kids."

And then it just turned into a general discussion about unsavory riff raff.