Overbearing Neighbours

Lando Griffin

We moved into our house last year and have an unbearable neighbour.
When we moved into or new house we never realised what we were in for, but now understand why the family before us just moved down the street.

1. After all the hustle and bustle of moving we finally finished at 10.30pm one Sunday night, next thing Ding Dong the doorbell. There they were (the n w neighbours) with bottle of wine and home-made buns , greeting us strolled in and stayed until 12.30am, the eyes were hanging out of me at work the next day.
2. Was taking a bucket of paint out of car and his wife spotted me, she told me (Name Withheld) loved painting and went in and got him. Ten minutes later I was starting to paint and turned around got the shock of my life, here he was covered from head to foot in protective gear ready for action.

He was so eager, I had to go to shop to get supplies and got held up chatting, and when I got home he had the feckin room painted.
He also helped when I was doing the garden, had to do a load of digging flower beds and lo and behold who arrived, spade in hand. He sent the whole day yacking about stupid things. I had to invite him down for a pint, so he went to shower and an hour later got text message to say he couldn’t come as his back was very sore.
The wife then suggested to OH that they should spend Saturday shopping together. Out of niceness OH agreed and is haunted since. When she sees something she likes she has to take a photo and text her husband, then they spend ten minutes chatting about where and to what she could wear it before its put back on hanger and start over again.
What can we do about them.
They are driving us crazy.
Every bloody weekend they want to be involved in our lives.
Now they have a holiday organised for us all. Christ.
We are sick of it absolutly sick of it.

alwaysadub

Move house. Or kill them and bury them under the patio.

Abrasax

Okily-dokily.

PaddyBomb

Tell them to Fcuk Off!

easyeason3

Move. And make it fast.

Failing that, walk into his garden, slit your wrists, start shouting 'Unclean, unclean' & then take a dump while they are looking at you with horrified expressions.

pickarooney

Grow a ****ing backbone and tell them politely but firmly you have other plans than to spend the rest of your lives hanging out with them.

They sound hilarious (from a safe distance)

L.Jenkins

They sound like real lonely people with no children. You'd probably kill them with of a broken heart if you told them to fúck off.

Trashbat

I wish somebody would paint my house for me.

Kiera

You're just gonna have to be honest with them. That would drive me insane. I get on great with my neighbours but wouldnt hang out with them all the time.

consultech

I say take them to the cleaners. Get yourself a nice holiday home out of it. You'll also be paying it forward to the next couple who wont be bothered a jot.

I agree with pickarooney; it sounds fairly funny from the outside, would make a good film.

Oh and by the by; Do NOT leave your car keys in any bowls next time they invite you round to theirs for "drinks"...

L.Jenkins

Trashbat wrote: »

I wish somebody would paint my house for me.

On that note I need my car washed. OP can I drop it over to your house and have your neighbour wash it.

Myrddin

The previous owners of your house must be living in paradise now by the sounds of it

Sounds like Ned (not real name) has an aversion to drinking/not allowed/needs permission with you. Every time he comes over crack open a few cans and put Garth Brooks on at a fairly high volume. Maybe get yourself some boots & a hat to don for each occassion too.EVERY time he comes over now, or it wont work. Id be willing to bet his visits would taper off.

Taking pics of clothes & discussing it, what a pair of absoloute w@nkpots. Portray the image that your alchoholic hick wannabe's...save yourselves

They brought you home made buns, wine, did your painting and gardening for you...
yeah total psychos, maybe the next series of "neighbours from hell" will have you on

mailforkev

Start keeping all your car keys in a bowl near the hall door, nod suggestively in the direction of this bowl next time they are coming in to your house.

This will freak them out and problem solved. Or spectacularly backfire and you'll end up balls deep in your neighbours wife. Take a punt OP.

DubMedic

Maybe they're just being helpful!!.

Ceart

I so wish I could help - I would be the same. I hate to hurt people who do not realise they are doing something to piss me off or irritate me. I know that my brothers would tell me to stand firm when I do not or cannot do something with them.

Next time, just tell them no - you either have other plans or you just don't want to do anything. If they take it personal, then that is their problem. Don't move for God's sake, lol. Hope they get knocked up and have a baby to dote on and take up all their time. ;-)

Blazer

Tell them your swingers and invite them over for a sex party.
But same sex only so as to really throw them off.

Ruu_Old

Burn down their house.

phill106

I thought they sound like nice people, who are making an effort to become friendly with their new neighbors.

ejmaztec

Ruu wrote: »

Burn down their house.

Are you a social worker?

Longboard

Ruu wrote: »

Burn down their house.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dlOlx1Mwu0

easyeason3

phill106 wrote: »

I thought they sound like nice people, who are making an effort to become friendly with their new neighbors.

Ya sap!

funk-you

Tell them it's not the 50's anymore and that people nowadays are suspicious and condecending. Then all you need is barbed wire ands your finally away from those un-thinking horrible helpful ****.

Or just ask the fella to suck off your wife. He'll be too confused and aroused to do anything else.

-Funk

phill106

easyeason3 wrote: »

Ya sap!

*Cries quietly in the corner, then remembers this is the internet, and stops caring*

easyeason3

phill106 wrote: »

*Cries quietly in the corner, then remembers this is the internet, and stops caring*

Go over to Landos neighbours. They'll probably have Kleenex & a hug waiting for you.

But don't tell them where you live or you could arrive home to a newly painted house

Lando Griffin

mailforkev wrote: »

Start keeping all your car keys in a bowl near the hall door, nod suggestively in the direction of this bowl next time they are coming in to your house.

This will freak them out and problem solved. Or spectacularly backfire and you'll end up balls deep in your neighbours wife. Take a punt OP.

God no. She is quite the looker but he wouldn't set too many hearts racing.

phill106

Lando Griffin wrote: »

God no. She is quite the looker but he wouldn't set too many hearts racing.

You only are supposed to have sex with her, not him....

moonpurple

we have lovely neighbours, they are not long moved in and we are helping them settle in and making them welcome, even had hubby help with painting though I think 'he' went to the shops and waited for poor hubby to almost finish the room:pac:

Dub13

Take a note of all the 'incident's' over a few weeks,then on a Saturday night (or some other busy time) pop into your local garda station and make a report.

Abrasax

Dub13 wrote: »

Take a note of all the 'incident's' over a few weeks,then on a Saturday night (or some other busy time) pop into your local garda station and make a report.

Did you actually read the opening post?

stovelid

Bang his wife.

phill106

Abrasax wrote: »

Did you actually read the opening post?

maybe dub wants lando arrestested?

alwaysadub

Dub13 wrote: »

Take a note of all the 'incident's' over a few weeks,then on a Saturday night (or some other busy time) pop into your local garda station and make a report.

Guard,i want you to arrest these people. They brought me wine and cakes and offered to help paint my house.
Yeah,i'm sure they'll call in the SWAT team..

Gone Drinking

Ruu wrote: »

Burn down their house.

Do you mean with love? Cause i've never heard you say anything bad before

Lando Griffin

djhunter30 wrote: »

They sound like real lonely people with no children. You'd probably kill them with of a broken heart if you told them to fúck off.

They dont want children yet as it gets in the way of her career path.
They will be trying to have one for next Summer we are told.
Maybe things might calm down a bit then.

phill106

Lando Griffin wrote: »

They dont want children yet as it gets in the way of her career path.
They will be trying to have one for next Summer we are told.
Maybe things might calm down a bit then.

I'd say they are grooming you for your baby batter. Or your OH's eggs. Or a combo of both... Move....Now!

Dub13

Abrasax wrote: »

Did you actually read the opening post?

alwaysadub wrote: »

Guard,i want you to arrest these people. They brought me wine and cakes and offered to help paint my house.
Yeah,i'm sure they'll call in the SWAT team..

You both need to get one of these....

Link

phill106

Dub13 wrote: »

You both need to get one of these....

Link

Ive got one for home, one for the office, and a travel one for my iphone!


and yes, i called it an iphone rather then just a phone, deal with it.

Abrasax

Dub13 wrote: »

You both need to get one of these....

Link

You can actually buy one of those?

padi89

Grow a pair and just tell them, overwise it will just get worse.

Send the fecker over to me my back is ****ed but i need flower beds dug.:D

WIZE

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Was taking a bucket of paint out of car and his wife spotted me, she told me (Name Withheld) loved painting and went in and got him. Ten minutes later I was starting to paint and turned around got the shock of my life, here he was covered from head to foot in protective gear ready for action.

.

Did he look like this

jester77

a) If you don't mind moving again, then take full advantage of the situation, build an extension, do up the garden, etc. You won't need to hire much help as they would do most of it. You get cheap work, adds to the price of the property, sell it at a markup, happy days.

b) If you want to stay, then organise a swinger party and also invite all your couple friends. Have a bowl at the entrance that everyone leaves their keys in and half way through the night bring in the bowl and have the women start drawing keys and leave with the owners. You just got to hope they don't call your bluff and are up for it.

skywalker_208

make a move on the wife
That will sort the situation out

easyeason3

Lando Griffin wrote: »

They dont want children yet as it gets in the way of her career path.
They will be trying to have one for next Summer we are told.
Maybe things might calm down a bit then.

So really what you're saying is that they want children now but because it doesn't fall into their plan you have become the centre of their attention.

And when she does get knocked up be prepared for a lot of pregnancy talk.

Hate to be the one to let you know but if they are they are telling you when they are going to start trying for a baby then theres a good chance you're going to be hearing about sore nipples, leaks, piles & other weird stuff that happens in a pregnancy.

Lando Griffin

skywalker_208 wrote: »

make a move on the wife
That will sort the situation out

No such luck, proabaly end up digging a bigger hole for myself then.

easyeason3 wrote: »

So really what you're saying is that they want children now but because it doesn't fall into their plan you have become the centre of their attention.



And when she does get knocked up be prepared for a lot of pregnancy talk.



Hate to be the one to let you know but if they are they are telling you when they are going to start trying for a baby then theres a good chance you're going to be hearing about sore nipples, leaks, piles & other weird stuff that happens in a pregnancy.

I know thats what we are dredding, we have offered some of our baby stuff to them allready known our luck we will be god parents.

magotch07

be honest with them...thats its getting a bit much for you and you need to take a step back

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Would you rather live beside neighbours who partied most nights, invited around their scumbag mates, fighting all the time, throwing rubbish over the back garden wall (I shít you not) and generally being cnuts...

OP, your neighbours sound like a dream to some people I have lived beside. I know it sounds a bit too much, especially the organising of a holiday for ye all, but be greatful you have nice neighbours

loobylou

Ask them if they've ever heard of Dianetics, then start talking about L Ron Hubbard.

alwaysadub

loobylou wrote: »

Ask them if they've ever heard of Dianetics, then start talking about L Ron Hubbard.

Oh yeah,i've a few magazines that they won't stop sending me. You can have them and scatter them round the coffee table OP. Make it look more believeable

Lando Griffin

loobylou wrote: »

Ask them if they've ever heard of Dianetics, then start talking about L Ron Hubbard.

Had an experience with that crowd before, they wouldn't let me join, but thats a long long time ago.

Seloth

Jesus they seem lovely,and they helped you with house work wtf!!!.

I can remeber when we moved to our area in 92-93,Idunno ha I was 2.But the area was really close and everyone got on.Now!Every is like bleh to each other.Guess as well the kids have gotten older n stuff.

Dont be dicks to them,they seem like genuine nice people,thats rare in a feckin cold hearted world now.