Monkey Phobia Woman Savaged By Macaques

Dean820

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20100618/tod-monkey-phobia-woman-savaged-by-macaq-870a197.html

A British woman who went to a Thai nature resort to conquer her fear of monkeys has been savaged by a pack of macaques.

Dee Darwell, 56, lost consciousness after the monkeys surrounded her and sank their teeth into her arms and body.

Many of the primates remained hanging from her limbs as she lay collapsed with blood spurting from a "deep, deep hole" in her arm.

She was eventually rescued by Thai boatmen and was taken to Bangkok Phuket Hospital.

The horrific attack happened on Monkey Island near to the popular holiday island of Phuket in southern Thailand.

Only a guess but I suppose she still fears monkeys.

Run_to_da_hills

I guess the monkeys couldn't give a monkeys.

A Primal Nut

Dean820 wrote: »

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20100618/tod-monkey-phobia-woman-savaged-by-macaq-870a197.html

A British woman who went to a Thai nature resort to conquer her fear of monkeys has been savaged by a pack of macaques.

Dee Darwell, 56, lost consciousness after the monkeys surrounded her and sank their teeth into her arms and body.

Many of the primates remained hanging from her limbs as she lay collapsed with blood spurting from a "deep, deep hole" in her arm.

She was eventually rescued by Thai boatmen and was taken to Bangkok Phuket Hospital.

The horrific attack happened on Monkey Island near to the popular holiday island of Phuket in southern Thailand.

Only a guess but I suppose she still fears monkeys.

I dunno what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger. Now that she the attack didn't kill her, nothing to fear. :P I'm sure this was their plan all along.

Sea Sharp

damn, can't think of any puns........
..
..
..
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stupid b1tch

FruitLover

GaNjaHaN wrote: »

damn, can't think of any puns........

What? You've gibbon up already??

She can count herself lucky. She could have been raped

brummytom

FruitLover wrote: »

What? You've gibbon up already??

This story seemed stupid at first, but now I've read the article, I'm a believer





Shit.. wrong Monkeys

karlog

FruitLover wrote: »

What? You've gibbon up already??

*googles word 'gibbon' to find picture of ape*

hehehe

3DataModem

Something something something something chimpanzee.

Would this be irony? I'm never fully sure these days..

Diabhal Beag

Monkeyfudge is taking no **** these days

bonerm

GaNjaHaN wrote: »

damn, can't think of any puns........
..
..
..
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stupid b1tch

When there's not a pun there's a Partridge....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gc27qmMQpBQ

Herb Powell

does it make me a bad person if I laughed uncontrollably at this?

Myrddin

Herb Powell wrote: »

does it make me a bad person if I laughed uncontrollably at this?

Was it really that funny?

tman

To ape what the posters above have said, she really was stupid to try this

yoshytoshy

She must be bananas! :pac:

Dunjohn

A British person with a fear of monkeys? Was it even worth bothering trying to conquer that fear? I mean, she went all the way to Thailand! If it was flying or spiders or postmen, sure, that's relevant to her everyday life, but monkeys?

plein de force

oh the irony

Abrasax

Dunjohn wrote: »

A British person with a fear of monkeys? Was it even worth bothering trying to conquer that fear? I mean, she went all the way to Thailand! If it was flying or spiders or postmen, sure, that's relevant to her everyday life, but monkeys?

Her phobia had been triggered by her father bringing up a chimpanzee which she described as "positively evil".

I guess there were some Freudian issues she wanted to confront, the Dark Father with his evil chimpanzee companion and all that.

deman

Dunjohn wrote: »

A British person with a fear of monkeys? Was it even worth bothering trying to conquer that fear? I mean, she went all the way to Thailand! If it was flying or spiders or postmen, sure, that's relevant to her everyday life, but monkeys?

Maybe she was planning to visit "Ape"rdeen.
I'll get me coat..

Dean820

Dunjohn wrote: »

A British person with a fear of monkeys? Was it even worth bothering trying to conquer that fear? I mean, she went all the way to Thailand! If it was flying or spiders or postmen, sure, that's relevant to her everyday life, but monkeys?

Maybe she wanted one of those monkey butlers.

Manic Moran

You know that little voice that occasionally pops up in your head saying "stay away", "Look left" or "Run. Now?" More often than not, it's worth listening to, even if it says the ordinarily incongruent "Keep clear of monkeys"

NTM

ScumLord

As it turned out it was a very rational fear to have and one see should have paid more heed to.

ejmaztec

Dunjohn wrote: »

A British person with a fear of monkeys? Was it even worth bothering trying to conquer that fear? I mean, she went all the way to Thailand! If it was flying or spiders or postmen, sure, that's relevant to her everyday life, but monkeys?

Perhaps the Macaques heard about her phobia and invited her to Thailand just to take the piss, the little monkeys that they are.

baaaa

Goddamn chimps,I knew something like this would happen eventually.

greener greene

Those damned dirty apes!!

ScumLord

baaaa wrote: »

Goddamn chimps,I knew something like this would happen eventually.

greener greene wrote: »

Those damned dirty apes!!

Chimps and Apes are not monkeys.

FruitLover

Deleted User wrote: »

Would this be irony? I'm never fully sure these days..

No, that's ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

baaaa

ScumLord wrote: »

Chimps and Apes are not monkeys.

Cows and horses are also not dogs.

Bottle_of_Smoke

A spokesman for the family says

"This is the one thing we didn't want to happen"

ancapailldorcha

It was the one thing she didn't want to happen.

SadieSue

Should have called Monkey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i7ApyEeAyg

ancapailldorcha

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

A spokesman for the family says

"This is the one thing we didn't want to happen"

Dammit you beat me to it!

Scarydoll

Next time she'll remember the chiquita banana's.

FruitLover

FruitLover wrote: »

No, that's ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

That's not ironic.. That's just stupid isn't it. How big is your sink Alanis.?







Blatent Ed Byrne rip.

Herb Powell

EnterNow wrote: »

Was it really that funny?

yes

galwayrush

Maybe the monkeys were pissed off at England's WC performance and attacked the first Brit they encountered.:pac:

stupidusername

Here's a link to another article about it. And here's a quote from it:
'all of a sudden I was surrounded by monkeys' Now what I want to know is what exactly was expected when she decided to visit a place called Monkey Island?

Even though she was warned about the dangers of visiting an island full of wild animals, she must've thought surely they'd never attack humans? Surely not!

Suppose the whole islands population of monkeys has been wiped out now for having attacked her :rolleyes:

Dunjohn

stupidusername wrote: »

Now what I want to know is what exactly was expected when she decided to visit a place called Monkey Island?

Perhaps she wanted to be a pirate.




/tumbleweed

ancapailldorcha

Well, there's no way I'm making that trip to giant spider island now.

vicecreamsundae

At first glance i read this thread title as
"Monkey Phobia Woman Saved By Macaques"
and i was like "aww, that's lovely! what a way to get over a fear!"

Duggy747

Despite their tendencies to eat people's faces I'd always love to have apes.

I love them all from chimpan-A to chimpanzes






/grabs coat

Banjo Fella

vicecreamsundae wrote: »

At first glance i read this thread title as
"Monkey Phobia Woman Saved By Macaques"
and i was like "aww, that's lovely! what a way to get over a fear!"

At first I read it as "Monkey Phobia Woman Salvaged by Maracas", which would only be slightly more bizarre than what happened.

The_Minister

Monkey Phobia Woman Savaged By Macaques

A British woman who went to a Thai nature resort to conquer her fear of monkeys has been savaged by a pack of macaques.
Dee Darwell, 56, lost consciousness after the monkeys surrounded her and sank their teeth into her arms and body.

Many of the primates remained hanging from her limbs as she lay collapsed with blood spurting from a "deep, deep hole" in her arm.

She was eventually rescued by Thai boatmen and was taken to Bangkok Phuket Hospital.

The horrific attack happened on Monkey Island near to the popular holiday island of Phuket in southern Thailand.

"I thought I was heading for safety under this rock in the shade, only to cool down," Mrs Darwell, from Peterborough, said.

"I laid the towel down and there were no monkeys in sight.

"The next thing I noticed, this monkey walked up next to me and I thought, oh dear, and I began to stand up to move away.

"Then, the monkey took my wrist and pounced on my right arm, sinking his teeth in and hung off it.

"He wouldn't let go; he was locked on. I was absolutely petrified."

Thai fishermen ran to the rescue after spotting more monkeys joining the assault and began prising them off.

Mrs Darwell said she had agreed to go on the Siam Sea Canoe tour with a friend to confront her fear of monkeys.

Her phobia had been triggered by her father bringing up a chimpanzee which she described as "positively evil".

She said: "I thought, this is it, I'm going to die, I'm going to be savaged by these monkeys - then I went into shock."

Mrs Darwell added: "I wouldn't have got off that bloody boat if the tour guide would have said at all that there was any danger, any risk, even the slightest risk."

Tour leader Mr Yongyut Buasod said: "We can't control the monkeys if they decide to bite someone, that's why we always warn the tourists.

"That day some people were teasing the monkeys. They don't necessarily attack the specific person teasing them."

The French nobility is truly vicious.

starbelgrade

That's nuts.

Genrikh Yagoda

Can't imagine it helped, no

starbelgrade

She must've been bananas to go there.

IvySlayer

Was posted befpre stop stealing the puns from there :P

jd007

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055945342

starbelgrade

IvySlayer wrote: »

Was posted befpre stop stealing the puns from there :P

If I were to go to the effort of stealing puns, they'd be a lot better than those ones, in fairness.

DarkJager

she lay collapsed with blood spurting from a "deep, deep hole" i

Well that proves it. Even monkeys can't put up with a woman on PMS!